2013-08-29-lo-fijinks-take-with-a-grain-of-kryptonite

Take With A Grain Of Kryptonite

2013-08-29-lo-fijinks-take-with-a-grain-of-kryptonite

OH COME ON! That’s no fun! I thought Walter White would have made a great Lex Luthor. Can he at least be Darkseid? He could cook up the Anti-Life Equation in an old RV in Space. Hell, New Mexico is practically Apokolips already. Just open fire pits and lava geysers everywhere.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS WHO AREN’T GOING TO PAX!!! 

I will be participating in this Bumbershoot panel series this weekend!

My bit is:
Sat 31 Aug 2pm
Seattle, WA
The Leo K Theater
155 Mercer Street Seattle WA 98109
2nd and Mercer in the Seattle Center
[Ticket Info here]

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABER NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: Who would you like to see play Lex Luthor? Alternately, make up some more headlines from this “reputable movie news” site.

Comments (15)

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I believe you’ve got that backwards
He actually did play Gordon in the Batman: Year One animated movie.
Liam's avatar

Liam · 94 weeks ago

I would like to see John Malkovich as Lex Luthor.
Richter's avatar

Richter · 94 weeks ago

Ving Rhames as Lex Luthor!
Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 94 weeks ago

Kevin Spacey again. Forever.
John…
Wait for it…

Turturro.

Lex Luthor is Jesus, bitch.

Liam's avatar

Liam · 93 weeks ago

Nicolas Cage
Im happy to be your filter.
Galley Slave's avatar

Galley Slave · 93 weeks ago

Michael Madsen
Dave's avatar

Dave · 92 weeks ago

Quentin Tarantino as Lex Luthor
Nechie's avatar

Nechie · 92 weeks ago

Bieber as Robin O.o
2013-08-27-lo-fijinks-batfleck

Batfleck

2013-08-27-lo-fijinks-batfleck

While in Toronto last weekend, I only had internet access late and night and early in the morning. I went to the con on Thursday and lived my life in this weird information void where news could only be transmitted from human to human, or Canadian to human directly. With words. Actual mouth words. It was a slow and cumbersome analog form of communication that allowed WAY more than 140 characters. Still, not a single Internet wielding Canadian saw fit to fill me in on the day’s significant development in the world of cinematic geekery. When I got back to Andrew’s house that night I connected with his wifi, exhaled in a way that felt as if I had been holding my breath for 12 hours and asked Twitter if anything happened while I was gone.

The news poured out of my phone like a tsunami of nerd rage. “AFFLECK IS BATMAN!!! WHAT DOES ANYTHING EVEN MEAN ANYMORE?! DO WE STILL HAVE A GOVERNMENT?! A WORLD?! CAN MATT DAMON BE NIGHTWING BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE PRETTY SWEET?!?!” I popped out a few sarcastically outraged tweets (which, come the next morning, would have gained some popularity), and went to bed fairly confident that this casting revelation was, in several words, extremely very bad news.

Over the next couple of days I saw a ton of hate online directed toward Batfleck. “He’s going to ruin Batman like he ruined Daredevil!” “Ben Affleck is great in somethings and bad in others! How can he Batman if not perfect always!?”  “Gigli was a movie that made me throw up with anger and he was in that movie and he didn’t help me clean up the throw up!” A pattern was becoming apparent. The reactions all smelled of nerd fear. Nerd fear is different than nerd rage. Nerd fear comes from a place of hurt. Of past betrayal. Batman movies have been unkind to nerds (and humanity in general) in the past, and nerds were afraid again that Batman (a character who has been elevated via cinema over the last almost-decade) was about to betray them again.

My initial, honest, snark free reaction was, “It’s Bat-Clooney all over again! This guy is Hollywood royalty, he LOOKS just like Bruce Wayne ought to look and he has NO BUSINESS playing the ACTUAL Batman.” Then I realized that this Batman movie was ACTUALLY a Superman movie. More accurately a sequel to Man of Steel. A movie that was pretty god damn terrible, all things considered. Those things being !!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!  the story, the completely unnecessary way Pa Kent dies, the desolation of Metropolis at the hands of Superman himself, the character assassination of Superman at the hands of Superman himself in that he used those hands to assassinate Zod and toss his entire what-Superman-is-all-about deal out the window, the fact that America and the world do not consider him an uncontrollable threat and banish him from Earth at the end, the story, the writing, the story… I could go on. !!!END SPOILERS!!!

Affleck might actually be the best possible thing to happen to a Superman franchise that, so far, has left me hating their Superman. And Bryan Cranston as Lex Luthor? This is a performance I have got to see. Talk about being in the “empire business.”

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABRE NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: How do you feel about the Batfleck casting? If not him, then who? Well, OF COURSE Jon Hamm, but who else? Just Jon Hamm? Really? Ok, you’re right. He should ALSO play Superman because he should have all along, you say? Man, you are a smart person.

Comments (9)

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I could see Patrick Wilson doing a bang up job as the caped crusader.
I thought Michael Keaton was an awful choice to play a superhero but once he was covered in the bat suit, it was fine. And I enjoyed him in both movies.
So Ben can be the next Batman. If he stinks, they’ll be plenty more Batman’s to come! 😉

1 reply · active 94 weeks ago

dralou's avatar

dralou · 94 weeks ago

My thoughts exactly. And if it ends up being Bat-Clooney all over again, well. At least we will be laughing. Don’t let the bad movies hurt your fan-feelings, it’s not healthy.
With the understanding that this is a Superman movie, not a Batman movie, Bats is going to be a supporting player. Or not: they apparently haven’t written the script yet.
Diggy's avatar

Diggy · 94 weeks ago

It is the Batman/ Bond law of casting: fans are pessimistic whiny-pantses about the choice, until the movie comes out and everyone has a joygasm.
JonS253's avatar

JonS253 · 94 weeks ago

I still remember the tsunami of rage when Heath Ledger was announced as the Joker. No teen heartthrob could possibly portray the Clown Prince of Crime!!

Except then he turned in (IMO) the very best live-action Joker *ever*. (I haven’t yet decided if Ledger’s Joker was better than the animated Joker voiced by Mark Hamill, speaking of people you never would have guessed would be excellent in a role.)

Tree-Vor's avatar

Tree-Vor · 94 weeks ago

Personally I don’t really care all that much about the batfleck casting. While Batman and associated characters are in my opinion the best thing DC has going for it, I’ve yet to be impressed by a single DC movie. I’m sure I’ll earn allot of hate points for this but I’m not even a fan of the BatBale movies, I’ll spare you the details but basically my feelings on them is “meh no need to watch that again”. Ben Afleck is a decent actor with the right direction and I doubt he’ll do any harm to the movie. I’m more concern with it being directed by Zack Snyder because in my opinion his movies have good visuals but that’s about it. I’m sure plenty of people will disagree with me and that is perfectly fine and you have every right to do so but that just my opinion.
lttlsqrl's avatar

lttlsqrl · 94 weeks ago

To completely ignore batfleck, I hope that a Batman Beyond movie with Old Bruce played by a now old Micheal Keaton is a possibility.
When I got back to Andrew’s house that night I connected with his wifi, exhaled in a way that felt as if I had been holding my breath for 12 hours and asked Twitter if anything happened while I was gone.
comic-2013-08-26-toronto-fan-expo-2013-fancy-sketches.jpg

Toronto Fan Expo 2013 Fancy Sketches

comic-2013-08-26-toronto-fan-expo-2013-fancy-sketches.jpg

Soory I had a good time in Toronto, eh? I accomplished all of my goals. I attended Fan Expo and spoke to some nice northern Fancy Bastards, I ate 100% of Toronto’s meat supply at Korean Grill House (my actual favorite restaurant in all of the world), I wrote a musical about meat during that meal (much to the chagrin of my co-dining cartoonist friends), and I attended the Banana Bar Crawl (more on that in a second).

Big big thanks to Andrew of I Am ARG and Paul “Leftovers” Westover for hosting me for my Canadian Weekend. Additional thanks to the all the Torontonian(?) Fancy Bastards who came out to say hi and to the Cyanide and Happiness fans that I did sketches for.

Here are a few more things I drew at Fan Expo: A couple of D&D characters, a fractal penis (probably too sexy for work) and a photo comic I made this morning about David Willis on my phone from a plane that was trying to take off.

About that Banana Bar Crawl… I REALLY don’t like bar crawls. I like nice quiet evenings with friends. If we find a good bar with a good atmosphere and a good volume level, I like to stay there until everyone has drank 100 drinks, laughed 1000 laughs and fallen down into a pile on the floor which has to be pushed into the gutter with a large-ish broom. The Cyanide and Happiness fellows have been trying to drag me to the annual Dallas Banana Bar Crawl for years. Since they decided to have on in Toronto, and seeing as how I was trapped there, AND on the condition that they pay for all of my drinks, I agreed to 1) come along and 2) complain a little less.

Guys… oh man, guys… it was a fun time. I stepped out of my comfort zone and partied with my friends and about 200 weirdos in banana suits across 3 or 4 bars in Toronto and I had an amazing time. If you are in Dallas or Toronto and you are not swayed by my words, BE SWAYED AS ALL HELL BY THIS VIDEO EVIDENCE OF FUN TIMES

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABRE NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone, tried something you thought you’d hate and actually loved it?

Comments (15)

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Never. My comfort zone is freaking AWESOME!
Dio's avatar

Dio · 94 weeks ago

Wow, those lightsaber necklaces are cool! Does your wife make them for boys, too?

1 reply · active 94 weeks ago

if all you need is a longer chain just message her through etsy
4 lights is amazing!
my costume was accidentally left at the booth. my blessing and my curse.
I’m a bit confused on the Batman one… Why is he gloating to Supes about bagging the Joker

2 replies · active 94 weeks ago

seriously's avatar

seriously · 94 weeks ago

Maybe he’s gloating, because Batman’s archenemy can’t carry around a little green rock that turns him into a pussy like Superman’s can?
Allen's avatar

Allen · 94 weeks ago

It’s a reference to Good Will Hunting. (Matt Damon and, most importantly in this case, Ben Affleck were in it and wrote the screenplay.)
Gumbules's avatar

Gumbules · 94 weeks ago

Totally agree with tzeentchling. “There are 4 lights!” is brilliant!
zathael's avatar

zathael · 94 weeks ago

Never. My comfort zone is surrounded by cement fortifications and razorwire. The Guards on the towers have sniper rifles and have standing orders to shoot to kill.
Allen's avatar

Allen · 94 weeks ago

Is it just that imagines that restaurant as the one Supes and Bats hang out in in the How It Should Have Ended videos?

1 reply · active 94 weeks ago

Leshka's avatar

Leshka · 94 weeks ago

I thought so as well. Of course, he wasn’t saying “Because I’m Batman” so maybe not.
Well…I used to be a fairly distant sort and didn’t like being touched.

Then I decided to go to massage school because I wanted to heal people, and it turned out to be a pretty awesome decision.

neph sy's avatar

neph sy · 94 weeks ago

Hey, I noticed that Hijinks Ensue joined in with other comics like Girls with Slingshots, Eerie Cuties, etc.(through Hiveworks??)
Just wanted you to know that when I click on the Hijinks drawing, the LINK ISN’T WORKING to HijinksEnsue.
Google Chrome message is Oops Google Chrome could not find http. Did you mean Hijinksensue.com (this is a link that connect to your site).

Firefox message is: Firefox can’t find the server at http.