Welcome To The Machine

This comic depicts my adventures with the inversion table I just bought off of The Craig List. I’ve come to refer to it as “The Infernal Machine.” For the uninitiated, the purpose of an inversion table is to hang you upside down by your ankles to relieve tension on your spine. The first time you strap in and invert, you get the sensation that all of your feet blood is fighting a turf war with your head blood for control of your brain. Your eyes feel like they’r being hoovered back into your skull and your ears immediately engorge with hatred. It’s unpleasant to say the least. Once you get used to it, however, it’s not so bad.

After 5-10 minutes in The Infernal Machine, my spine feels quite a bit better. The positive effects only last for a few minutes right now but I’m hoping they will lengthen with repeated use. I should also mention that my left ankle is only attached to my leg by a tangled mess of sinew, muscle and fractured fragments of bone. hijinks-ensue-godspeed-you-fancy-bastard-book-300x300

With all the book related extra work I’ve had, I’ve neglected to update The Vault. I tried to remedy that today by adding 3 posts showing the making of the art for the book cover, and new desktop featuring the Ewok Stare based on this comic.

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It Hurts When I Do this

And by “this” I mean” everything.

At least they were just Spine Weevils and not Vertibraphids. Those are fatal.

If you follow me on Twitter, you know that I’ve been having some severe back pain issues for the last few weeks. I’ve had a bad back my whole life, but this is the first time that the pain has kept me from being able to sit, stand or walk. For the last few days I’ve been living on the couch in a reclined position. I really appreciate all the suggestions ou guys have been tweeting and emailing me for back pain relief and I’ve tried many of them.

I went to one chiropractor who was a complete douche-face. He talked to me for 10 minutes then gave me a bill for over $3000. I told him I couldn’t accept this “treatment plan” and he was pretty much done with me. The 2nd chiropractor I went to was much nicer and seemed concerned about actually relieving my pain rather than using me to finance his new boat. He seemed to think I have a bulging disk. Based on the description of the symptoms I would agree, but only an MRI ($$$) could confirm. I picked up an inversion table on Craigslist to stretch out my spine and hopefully allow that disk to move back into it’s natural position. Hanging upside down for by my ankles for 10 minutes at a time isn’t pleasant at all but it seems to be helping little by little.

A lot of you have suggested yoga and stretching which I am trying too. My mobility is very limited right now, so hopefully I’ll be able to do more of this sort of thing soon. I really appreciate all the well wishes and advice and I’ll keep you apprised of my [hopefully] improving condition. I’m glad I was able to do a comic about this. It’s good to laugh at your own misfortune.