Guys, it’s never happened before and I pray it never happens again, but today Wil Wheaton issued a DOUBLE COMIC DARE based on this twitter conversation (and later this one) to both to me and Lar deSouza. Somehow I survived this challenge of will and the results of my dare acceptance are above. Lar’s (which […]]]>
Guys, it’s never happened before and I pray it never happens again, but today Wil Wheaton issued a DOUBLE COMIC DARE based on this twitter conversation (and later this one) to both to me and Lar deSouza.
Somehow I survived this challenge of will and the results of my dare acceptance are above. Lar’s (which are VERY NSFW and honestly NSFANYONE) are here and here. Oh, did I forget to mention to have a gallon of eye bleach at the ready? Sorry. [More Wheaton Comic Dares HERE]
The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is on like… a not off thing! I’m running low on money-style funds (like I usually do this time of year), so for $20 I will draw you just about anything (within reason). Check out the details and order yours HERE.
ANOTHER THING YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT! In addition to having her own photo restoration business, my wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace below and more geeky creations in her shop!
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CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 85/100 prints are sold and it would be great to sell that last few remaining prints before the end of the year. I am also going to leave up the additional prints and print packs for sale until probably February in case you want to get in on that action. Hey Sci-Fancy Bastards! Syfy Tv […]]]>
CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 85/100 prints are sold and it would be great to sell that last few remaining prints before the end of the year. I am also going to leave up the additional prints and print packs for sale until probably February in case you want to get in on that action.
Hey Sci-Fancy Bastards! Syfy Tv Movie Title Generator Shirts are almost gone from the HE store for good and they’re CRAZY CHEAP! Men’s are down to Sm and Med. Ladies sizes are more abundant.
You guys know the Weaton Comic Dare drill by now. He dared, Stepto jumped in, I responded and did my cartoonistly duty. Everybody wins. This comic hits a little too close to home. The home which I never leave. The home in which I rarely change out of my pajamas. The very same home where I go to bed at 7am and start my day around 3m. This is a weird job. Freelancers know what I’m talking about. Putting on pants just causes problems. Like having to know where pants are, or how to clean them. Serious problems.
Bid on an auction to APPEAR IN A HIJINKS ENSUE COMIC! It’s for charity! Only 4 days left!
And only 1 day left to bid on this sweet Webcomics Jam Poster.
My desire to prevent my friends from being dissappointed by LOST is the same as Lord Elrond’s desire to save his daughter Arwen from toiling in a mortal life only to die, when eternal paradise is only a boat ride away. The irony is he WANTED her to go the island. I’m trying to keep as many people off the Island as possible. It’s not that there was NOTHING to enjoy about LOST. In fact the first 3.5 seasons are some of the finest TV that’s every been TV’d. The problem is the steeeeeeeep drop in quality halfway through the 3rd season that just continually plummets to a dismal and unsatisfying conclusion. If you have the willpower (and most don’t) to watch the first 3.5 seasons then pretend it was cancelled, you might end up being the happiest geek alive. All of your questions will still never be answered, but at least you don’t have to experience the half-hearted nonsense of the back half of the show.
COMMENTERS: When I found out my friend Stepto was going to crash his plane into the island, I tried to sum up what was about to happen to him via Twitter. Turns out it only took 4 tweets. Have you ever tried to stop a friend from delving into disappointing geekery? Did they do it anyway? Did they love it, despite you? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FRIEND!?
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3 New Shirts at @Sharksplode: Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey, Rival Smugglers and Might Club! STORE NEWS! Grammar Dalek shirts are now available in Ladies sizes! Pretty much all HE shirts are back in stock size-wise! HE Books make EXCELLENT PRESENTS! In addition to the comics there are tons of extras and new commentary on every comic. HE Holiday Greeting Cards […]]]>
3 New Shirts at @Sharksplode: Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey, Rival Smugglers and Might Club!
STORE NEWS!
- Grammar Dalek shirts are now available in Ladies sizes!
- Pretty much all HE shirts are back in stock size-wise!
- HE Books make EXCELLENT PRESENTS! In addition to the comics there are tons of extras and new commentary on every comic.
- HE Holiday Greeting Cards are a thing you can buy and then send!
Whig Party dudes, amirite? They are THE worst. Every time you try to involve them in a bit, it just falls flat. Wil was on Family Guy last week. He tweeted, I made a joke, he dared. It’s the way of the world.
COMMENTERS: Who’s your favorite TV or film actor (who doesn’t regularly do a TON of voice work) to pop up in an animated thing? Speaking of Star Trek allums, I do love when I hear Patrick Stewart’s be-knighted tones in a cartoon. Of course Michael Dorn is always nice, but he was practically a full time VO actor for a decade. The reverse is an altogether different sensation. I love seeing Jeffrey Combs (one of my FAVORITE voice actors) acting on screen. He was in Deep Space 9 a lot and I recently saw him in The Frighteners. He’s got such a captivating/creepy on-screen presence.
Speaking of voice actors: HE Podcast Episode 93 With Voice Actors Yuri Lowenthall and Tara Platt!
If you want to help decide the fate of the next HijiNKS ENSUE JoCo Cruise fundraiser, check out this thread in the Fancy Bastard Facebook Group.
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As with the previous edition of Wil Wheaton Paper Dolls, Wil did not so much invoke the power of the Wheaton Comic Dare as he calmly and collectedly texted me and said, “We should do this again.” I feel like the peer pressure and public shaming elements of the Wil Wheaton Comic Dares are really […]]]>
As with the previous edition of Wil Wheaton Paper Dolls, Wil did not so much invoke the power of the Wheaton Comic Dare as he calmly and collectedly texted me and said, “We should do this again.” I feel like the peer pressure and public shaming elements of the Wil Wheaton Comic Dares are really starting to wane. Perhaps we should call them Wil Wheaton Comic Polite Friendly Suggestions In Which Fun Times Are Nearly Guaranteed For All Involved. Step up your daring game, Wheaton. This is The Internet. Shit us supposed to get crazy around here, not cordial.
If you happen to be attending Austin Comic Con this weekend, there is a good chance that Wil will have sheets of this second paper doll set for sale at his booth. I don’t know if he’ll have them today (Friday) but I bet he has them on Saturday. Stop by, say hi, things buy, bye bye. That’s how it should go.
If you aren’t attending the con, you can click “Buy A Print” under the comic and get your own high quality hard copy.
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This weekend I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts. Wil didn’t so much “dare” me to make this paper doll as he did call me […]]]>
This weekend I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm. We’ll be in the dealer room, terrified of glomping cat-girls and Sailor Bubbas alike. I’ll have both HE Books, Prints, sketch cards, “Grammar Dalek” Shirts and “The Doctor Is In” shirts.
Wil didn’t so much “dare” me to make this paper doll as he did call me up and, with his best “WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS BECAUSE IT WOULD BE TOTALLY AWESOME!” enthusiasm-voice, ask me very politely to draw it. The last time Wil dared me to draw him as a child’s plaything it took us over a year to bring it into meatspace. The good news is this time around the plaything in question doesn’t require an army of Chinese children with nimble fingers to make it a reality. All we really need is a PDF and a laser printer. To that end, Wil is going to have actual Wil Wheaton Paper Doll sheets that you’ll be able to purchase at PAX this weekend! For those of you unable to attend PAX, you can use the “Buy A Print” button below this comic to get your own Paper Wil.
I was under the impression that these would be “hang on the wall” types of things, but Wil is insistent that you guys actually cut them out, fold the tabs, dance them around and make them have holodeck tea parties. He is usually right about this sort of thing, so I’m going to fully endorse the idea. I would go as far as to suggest that you make your own accessories and post photographic evidence on one or more Internets.
COMMENTERS: What should be in a potential add-on pack for the Wheaton paper dolls? What accessories or clothes would a paper doll of YOU come with?
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Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! No, really. Specifically FOR YOU. Occasionally Wil Wheaton dares me to turn random tweets into comics. This burden, this curse is mine alone to carry. One day I will find a way to break the chains that bind me to the […]]]>
Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! No, really. Specifically FOR YOU.
Occasionally Wil Wheaton dares me to turn random tweets into comics. This burden, this curse is mine alone to carry. One day I will find a way to break the chains that bind me to the will of Wheaton, but until then you can benefit from my suffering. That is assuming you have any idea at all what is happening in the above comic. Do you? Can you explain it to me? I blacked out about halfway through drawing it and when I awoke the house was on fire. [He makes me doooo thiiinnnngs… baaaaad thiiiinnngs]
This particular Wheaton comic dare originated from a tweetversation between me and Fancy Bastard @pipsipirate regarding “Top Men” and their relationship to both Top Gun and Mad Men. Highway to the danger zone, indeed. Apparantly Wil Wheaton has my twitterphones tapped or else I retweeted the exchange, because mere moments after the initial transmission he threw down the gauntlet.
Having completed the challenge and being hardly any worse for the wear [some of my skin has started to grow back], I am now hoping someone far more talented than me will remake the entire Mad Men intro using elements of Top Gun. There’s already all of that falling. The work practically does itself.
AUSTING COMIC CON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! [MORE INFO]
November 11-13 at the Austin Convention Center! Look for me in the artist alley.
Wil Wheaton wields a power most terrible. The power to dare me to turn Tweets into comics. Should you fear this power? Most definitely. More than you fear the awakening of The Beard? Probably not. That sounds like bad news for everybody. I somehow found myself watching John Cusack in 1408 a couple of nights […]]]>
Wil Wheaton wields a power most terrible. The power to dare me to turn Tweets into comics. Should you fear this power? Most definitely. More than you fear the awakening of The Beard? Probably not. That sounds like bad news for everybody.
I somehow found myself watching John Cusack in 1408 a couple of nights ago, and I may never forgive… well anyone. It seems that when Cusack makes movies with numbers for titles we are all made to suffer.
COMMENTERS: Will you submit to the will of The Beard? Do you think you have any choice in the matter? SPOILERS: You don’t.
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Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode. CONVENTION NEWS: Connecticon is almost right now!!!. Come see me and David and Ryan and Lar and the Explosm quadruplets and much many mores! I also posted a new comic last night, in case you missed […]]]>
Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.
CONVENTION NEWS: Connecticon is almost right now!!!. Come see me and David and Ryan and Lar and the Explosm quadruplets and much many mores!
I also posted a new comic last night, in case you missed it.
Much like the Sphinx, or that one guy from Labyrinth that must answer each question truthfully, I am cursed to answer each Wheaton Comic Dare in the affirmative. WHEEEAAAAAATOOOONNNNNNNN!!! When will your comic lust be satiated? Will you never lift this hex? Will my children and my children’s children forever be putting pen to Internet at your beck and call? Also, we should totally make these plushies. We would sell like a hundred thousand of them. CURSE YOU!!!!
Short story even shorter: I drew a fun little sketch of what Josh would look like if I ever made a plushie of him. Wil retorted via Twitter suggesting I plushify him as well. Wheaton’s will [wil] be done, so here we are.
Speaking of dares, I dared my friend Gordon to turn this Tweet into a shirt, and he did. That’s some funny ass shirt.
Speaking again of plushies, it is entirely a real thing that I could make HE plushies before too long. I have to start thinking about who, or what in the HExicon would make for good stuffed lovin’. Feel free to COMMENT below.
STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.
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When Southwest called me to tell me they had found my bag I was in the back of Jason Finn‘s car with Wil on the way to meet Stepto and Marian Call. Jason and Wil were talking Mini Coopers and there was talk radio coming over the car speakers, so I pressed my phone against […]]]>
When Southwest called me to tell me they had found my bag I was in the back of Jason Finn‘s car with Wil on the way to meet Stepto and Marian Call. Jason and Wil were talking Mini Coopers and there was talk radio coming over the car speakers, so I pressed my phone against my right ear as hard as I could and plugged the left one with my little finger. I asked the woman on the other end of the line to repeat herself. “Shredded,” she said. “Shredded?” I replied. “Like we were a polar bear and your suitcase was a seal covered in maple syrup,” she responded.
They couriered what was left of my bag to my hotel later that night. From the extent of the damage I was completely unable to come up with a scenario by which this violation could have actually occurred. It hadn’t simply been dropped or snagged. It seemed as though some sort of manimal had clawed into (or out of) my small rolling suitcase in a blind rage. Can a creature truly hate a piece of luggage? I dare say it can. In my search for a reasonable explantation, Wil offered the Sarlacc pit theory and thus a comic was born. Later in the weekend I would prototype this comic in Wil’s copy of HE Book 2.
[Special thanks to Wil for contributing his first line in panel 1, a reference to his character in the Penny Arcade D&D Podcast.]
I toyed with the idea of continuing the Emerald City Comicon Sketch comics [Part 1 and Part 2] another day, but decided instead just to show you the rest of the sketches I wanted to share in this blog post. I will call this series “Sketches For Celebrities: Both Internet And Otherwise.”
- Stepto and his Book 2 Sketch [sketch closeup]
- Wil and his Book 2 Sketch [sketch closeup]
- Jon Rogers’ Book 2 Sketch (featuring The Doctor and a Leverage cameo)
- Marian and her Book 2 Sketch [sketch closeup]
- Molly Lewis and her Book 2 Sketch [sketch closeup]
- Marian, Molly and Me
- “Meeting Jonathan Frakes” sketch for a fan
- also, a Doctor Who themed commission for two girls who were cosplaying GWS characters, which they enjoyed quite a bit
Commenters: Feel free to offer up more examples of how and why specific airlines lose your luggage. Does JFK have to pay off the mob in “misplaced” golf clubs? Does Newark purposefully chuck your bags in the river to remind you not to go to New Jersey? How about some new slogans for Southwest? I like “Southwest: Hey whattayou Expect?” “Southwest: No Guarantees,” “Southwest: Come Fly The Functional Skies,” and “Southwest: This Whole Thing Is A Scam To Move Pretzels and Diet Coke.”
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Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco! NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers. New Lo-FiJINKS comic posted late last night! Driving back to Dallas from Austin today so colors and what not will be finished this evening. UPDATE: Refresh as hard as you can to […]]]>
Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco!
NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers.
New Lo-FiJINKS comic posted late last night!
Driving back to Dallas from Austin today so colors and what not will be finished this evening.
UPDATE: Refresh as hard as you can to see the finished comic.
Wheaton threw down another comic dare challenge and, as always, I accepted. When will you learn not to step to these mad comicing skills, Wheaton? When? WHEEEEEAAAAATONNNNNNNN!
Having seen the trailer for Drive Angry 1: Too Driving Too Angry, I got the impression that Nic Cage escaped hell to rescue his daughter, who was the slutty blond played by Amber Heard that he was driving so very angry with. Then I got the distinct impression they wanted to have sex with each other. THEN I saw the full trailer and realized she was just some road cooz along for the ride. Whatever. This movie looks banana-tits insane.
- Drive Angry director explains why Satan’s right-hand man is an accountant
- Watch Nic Cage have gunfight sex in this insane Drive Angry clip [NSFW]
- The Best Parts of ‘Drive Angry‘
COMMENTERS: What’s your favorite/least favorite crazy/sane Nic Cage performance and why? Also, please create subtitles for the inevitable sequels to Drive Angry: Drive Momma From The Train.
Thanks to @SpringHeeledJak for suggesting the Hindenburg kite.
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CHECK OUT MY GUEST COMIC OVER AT SOMETHING*POSTITIVE!!! And Dumbing Of Age by my friend David Willis starts TODAY! Occasionally Wil Wheaton will dare me to turn a random Tweet into a full fledged comic. Not one to back down from a challenge (nobody… calls me chicken), I have once again obliged. A little context from […]]]>
CHECK OUT MY GUEST COMIC OVER AT SOMETHING*POSTITIVE!!!
And Dumbing Of Age by my friend David Willis starts TODAY!
Occasionally Wil Wheaton will dare me to turn a random Tweet into a full fledged comic. Not one to back down from a challenge (nobody… calls me chicken), I have once again obliged.
A little context from the man himself:
Aeofel Elhromanë, [is] the Eladrin Avenger I played for the most recent Penny Arcade D&D podcast. [link to post]
In describing his character, Wil said:
Aeofel is an Isolating Avenger. He is, in normal language, a zealot. Where a Paladin brings comfort to the afflicted, the Avenger brings great vengeance and furious anger to those who caused the affliction.
And in a particular bout of furious anger he fell into a pit of acid and died forever. Wil’s followers have made “Aeofel Lives!“ one of their many battle cries (along with “Don’t Be A Dick” and “I feel strange but also good”). One intrepid PAX goer went as far as to make an “Aeofel Lives” t-shirt. In response I Tweeted (or Twat) THIS at which point Wheaton threw down the gauntlet.
This was one of those comics that I just had to get out of my system before the idea overtook all of my higher brain functions. So if you find it overly specific or unenjoyable, please understand that me having inside jokes with Wil Wheaton is basically the reason I started this comic and just indulge me. There will be a new comic about a movie or something (probably Machete) on Monday.
Blast you, Wheaton! Stop daring me to draw comics based on my own tweets! I will do it every time! I can’t… I can’t resist your eyes. Those wonderful eyes. Like two pulsars being extinguished in a pint of Guinness. The Dallas Webcomics Expo is this Saturday! Aug 21 in Plano, TX [MORE INFO] With Something*Positive, […]]]>
Blast you, Wheaton! Stop daring me to draw comics based on my own tweets! I will do it every time! I can’t… I can’t resist your eyes. Those wonderful eyes. Like two pulsars being extinguished in a pint of Guinness.
The Dallas Webcomics Expo is this Saturday!
Aug 21 in Plano, TX [MORE INFO]
With Something*Positive, Cyanide and Happiness, Gastrophobia, Complex Actions and more!
If any Dallas area Fancy Bastards want to have a meet-up after the show I am game. Respond with your intentions in the comments.
If you liked the 4 part “Under The Bridge Downtown” series of comics, you can get them as a really nice 11X14″ print for a limited time.
Concerning this comic, the point I am trying to make is that no matter which way you look at it The Goonies did not have a happy ending. Not in the slightest. Before we talk about Chunk’s fatal act of kindness towards a gentle but fiercely strong beast-man, let’s discuss the “resolution” of the main plot of the film. The kids go on an adventure to find “rich stuff” in order to save their shit hole town from being turned into a much nicer place to live. Blah blah blah, murderers, blah blah, pirate caves, etc etc and they end up with one marble bag full of pirate treasure (seemingly all precious stones) worth an indeterminate amount of money. And I don’t want to get off on a tangent here, but WHY DID THEY LET THE SHIP GO?! “You see this bag of pirate treasure? There’s like a million billion more pieces of it on that ship out there. You know that ship. The one we can see. It’s maybe a half a mile out, just drifting out to sea. Yeah, that’s the one. Should we… no, you’re right. Best to let Poseidon reclaim her.”
Anyway, so all they need to do in order to quash the “evil” developers plans to rejuvenate their cesspool of a seaside burg is shake their fancy bag of jewels in their faces and scream “Nah Uh! You ain’t gettin’ my town! I gots a bag of rocks what may or may not be worth enough to… purchase this town?” What was their aim. What was Mikey’s Dad’s next move? What amount of pirate treasure would cease the stop the urban planning machine once the wheels are in motion? Have you ever tried to get a permit to build a deck in your backyard? It takes like a month! Imagine the red tape that stood between Mr. Walsh and “saving The Goon Docks”. Insurmountable, I tell you! I assure you that despite having his contract torn up and thrown in his face, Mr. Evil Develop happily drove a bulldozer over the Walsh household the following morning with the shit-eatingest of grins on his face. Mikey’s dad was probably at the pawn shop trying to trade rubies and emeralds for modern American currency as his living room was laid to waste to make way for a Starbucks.
My second major problem with the end of The Goonies is (as illustrated above) the idea that Chunk would invite Sloth to live with them and, somehow through the miraculous grace of Space Jesus, would survive the week. Let me break this down for you. Not only is Sloth a monstrous baby-man with the strength of Sasquatch, but he was also raised by murderous gangsters. And by “raised” I mean “chained to the wall in a basement while his family committed murders in the home”. Just think about the violence he had seen in his lifetime. It’s not like the Fratellis started killing people the week before Goonies takes place. They were a family of life-long thugs and death-dealers. I’m sure murder was part of Sloth’s daily routine at a very early age. Monday: take out the trash. Tuesday: sweep off the porch. Wednesday: dig shallow graves in the woods. He was probably pushing past frost bitten corpses to get to the rocky road since he was eight years old. Just because he loves Superman and candy bars and has a few humorous catch phrases doesn’t mean he isn’t consumed by rage for the mistreatment he’s suffered at the hands of his family. This is not a dude you let sleep on your sofa bed, unless your sofa bed is also a mental institution.
Let’s say Goonies ends on a Sunday. By Tuesday the town lies in rubble, the hot chick got back with her douchey boyfriend and Sloth has bear-hugged the life out of Chunk, Chunk’s mom, Data, Mouth, the chick with the short hair and at least a half dozen other random neighborhood kids.
“Heeeeeyyyyy yooooooouuuu guys!“? More like “Hey, you guys are all dead and your crappy town has a bunch of new condos.”
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Ok, so Wil Wheaton basically dared me to draw this. Actually he dared me to draw him getting crushed by an avalanche of fan-donated dice, but Fancy Bastard DoctorAvenue had a suggestion that seemed to fit the “Spirit of Wheaton” a little better. A more positive spin on the whole “now what do I do with […]]]>
Ok, so Wil Wheaton basically dared me to draw this. Actually he dared me to draw him getting crushed by an avalanche of fan-donated dice, but Fancy Bastard DoctorAvenue had a suggestion that seemed to fit the “Spirit of Wheaton” a little better. A more positive spin on the whole “now what do I do with 100,000 polyhedral dice?” dilemma, if you will.
NOTE: Anyone confused by the ASCII representation on the side of the “Dice Bin,” just think about Wil Wheaton’s motto.
If you are going to GenCon in Indiana this weekend, please go say hi to Wil, give him a die, pick up his con-exclusive chapbook and offer him a hearty Sci-Five. He will know what’s up and reciprocate (unless you are holding a knife or a carcass of some sort in the other hand) [forgot Wheaton is trying to avoid the CONfluenza]. There is a chance Wil will have prints of this comic available at his signing table. Also go say Hi to Alina “Weregeek” Pete. She makes a great comic about tabletop gaming and also makes jewelry out of gaming dice. Here’s an insider secret: she will give you some of the magical dice jewelry if you give her money in exchange for it.
Since the books I shipped to Topatoco haven’t arrived yet, you have precious few days remaining to order a personalized Artist Edition of HE Book 1. Once the books are in my Topatoco store, personalized sketches will be reserved for conventions and exclusive, infrequent online sales.
@BenMS · 98 weeks ago
http://kidbleach.info/
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PokeyPuppy · 98 weeks ago
Definitely getting off my butt to get a Tetris necklace, though. Brilliant!
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