My Heart Is A Hate-filled Pineapple T-Shirts are Alive and Pulsating @ Sharksplode!!!

NEW HE PODCAST – Episode 83 “Ass Merkins”

The soaps were scented in various Autobot flavors. Diesel for Optimus Prime, New Van Smell for Ironhide, Lilac for Bumblebee, and High Karate for Jazz.

The events in this comic are 100% true in that they are two half truths combined into one super-truth. The first half come courtesy of the fact that I did find a Transformers themed door hanger from a local church on my front door this week. Pretty sneaky, Jesus.

And the rest of the truth concerns that fact that, while he was not present at the time of the door hanger discovery, this is EXACTLY WHAT IT IS LIKE TO TALK TO DAVID WILLIS ABOUT TRANSFORMERS. Let me be clear: I am not disparaging Willis’s mighty knowledge of all things Cybertron. I marvel at it in fact. I ask him leading questions just to hear him weave his gentle word-music about what Dinobot prefers for breakfast in the US comics vs. the Japanese comics [SPOILERS: It’s Energon in both]. At least a dozen times he has answered questions about the franchise that have plagued me since elementary school. Those of you not privy to his physical being can partake of his robo-knowings at the TF-Wiki, of which he is a major contributor. David has appeared in HE a few other times. Go Read BOTH of HIS COMICS. Love him as he loves fictional robots with silly names.

COMMENTERS: What other 1980’s cartoons or Michael Bay-type movies would make good religious advertisements? Please try to keep it light-hearted and respectful, since I’m sure I’ve already offended plenty for all of us. I think I saw a Thundercats TV spot about not huffing glue one time.

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!!

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

Here are some more nice pieces of paper which were ruined by me at C2E2 2011. I hope you enjoy them.

COMMENTERS: It’s up to you this time. I’m still recovering from the trip and am not yet of sound enough mind to… with… stuff. Exactly. So feel free to talk about the convention, or other stuff, or ham. Ham is always good.

Before you read it (and you MUST read it) you will need to familiarize yourself with the all too true story of how the US Post Office stole a box of David’s books and replaced them with the bottom half of a blender. I know it sounds like the craziest of fictions, but it is 100% tue and 100% robot-tits insane.

David also makes a comic about college life antics called Dumbing Of Age. Read heartily and enjoy!