Check out these geeky lightsaber earrings my wife made!

This is the final #1stPanel comic using the suggestion is “A man with a dog calls 911.”. I hope you’re enjoying this weird little experiment while I am away at New York Comic Con.

My Patreon Patrons got ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You got five comics this week, and they got TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

Patrons: Here’s your exclusive bonus alternate version of today’s comic!

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?!  Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.

I’m traveling for most of October/November, so it’s time for an EXPERIMENT.
I asked Twitter and Facebook for the first comic panel ideas. Then I take those and make an entire comic that comes AFTER that first panel! For this week the suggestion is “A man with a dog calls 911.”.

My Patreon Patrons will be getting ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You’ll be getting 4-5 comics this week, and they’ll be getting TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

Patrons: Here’s your exclusive bonus alternate version of today’s comic!
https://www.patreon.com/posts/3546694

I have enough suggestions to go for months, but if you want to toss yours in the mix, please do it via Twitter, @hijinksensue and using the hashtag #1stPanel.

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics?!  Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps me continue to make a living, and is QUITE appreciated.

I’m traveling for most of October and into November, so it’s time for an EXPERIMENT. I asked Twitter and Facebook to give me ideas for the first panel of a comic. Then I take those ideas and have to make an entire comic that comes AFTER that first panel! For this week the suggestion is “A man with a dog calls 911.” Since I’m at NYCC this week, I’ll be mostly reusing the art, but the dialog is all new.

My Patreon Patrons will be getting ENTIRELY different comics than the ones posted on this site. You’ll be getting 4-5 comics this week, and they’ll be getting TEN. Sign up to be a Patron and you’ll get them all too!

I have enough suggestions to go for months, but if you want to toss yours in the mix, please do it via Twitter, @hijinksensue and using the hashtag #1stPanel.

Do you want A TON of bonus, extra and alternate comics from the ones that appear on this site?! Do you want to support my ability to make a living from creating weird comics?! Then my Patreon is THE PLACE for you. Every little bit helps and is QUITE appreciated.

We got a dog for the Kiddo a little over a week ago on “Clear The Shelters” day. However, the dog has decided that I, not Kiddo, am the All Knowing, Benevolent MAN-GOD of her little Dogiverse. I told Kiddo that the puppy imprinted on me and thinks I’m her mommy. She said, “Don’t you mean DADDY?” To which I replied, “Nope.”

When my Patreon hits the next goal ($2000), I’ll start making Patron-only exclusive monthly comics! Your $5 a month can make that a real thing for real!

I’ve never had a dog before, so it’s an altogether new experience having another living being get just as excited about my naps as I do. It’s also been awhile since another creature went completely apeshit just because it noticed that I continue to exist. It’s a pretty validating feeling. Is that what dogs are for? To be our ever-constant, nonjudgemental cheerleaders? To just follow us around and root us on for our every dumb, lumbering mistake? Cool.

Here’s a T-Shirt I made about how much people care about fictional depictions of long past interstellar conflicts.

Hey! It’s another “People With Idiot Cat Brains!” Here’s the previous installments. When my cat, Tivo, was young he would catch grasshoppers, chase them around the house, then systematically maim them, reducing their mobility and life expectancy a little bit at a time. Finally, he’d take it one step too far, bop it pretty good on the thorax or whatever, and stare puzzled as to why it was no longer half-hopping and spastically twitching around our living room.

When my Patreon hits the next goal ($2000), I’ll start making Patron-only exclusive monthly comics! Your $5 a month can make that a real thing for real!

Nowadays, both of our cats will just sort of sit in one spot, transfixed on a moth or junebug that’s made its way inside. They are infinitely interested in its activities, yet infinitely disinterested in moving their lazy asses in order to effect any change on its circumstance. If it happens to cross within an arm’s length radius of one of the cats, a couple of quick bops, and it’s a motionless pile of formerly-a-bug. Then they stare at it for another couple of hours for good measure.

Here’s a T-Shirt I made about how much people care about fictional depictions of long past interstellar conflicts.

Look at these t-shirts I made for you! Look at them, then complete the necessary steps to own them!

I started saying the phrase in panel 2 in the booth at San Diego Comic-con this year every time someone told me to do something. I don’t know what precipitated it, but I felt if I didn’t exorcise this demon in comic form I would forever be running around screaming dumb shit at strangers. The more I think about it, this is fate that I have no real chance of escaping given my chosen profession.

Look at these t-shirts I made for you! Look at them, then complete the necessary steps to own them!

Our cats, Tivo and Replay, have extremely specific dietary needs. Not about what type of food they eat, but about how, when and in what orientation it’s served. Replay can’t eat, even with a completely full bowl, until my wife has acknowledged the bowl by physically touching it. He then bores a hole through the food with his face until he reaches the bottom, and screams until someone shakes the bowl and he can no longer see the offending white plastic. I’ve considered taking a picture of his food, printing it out and glueing it to the bottom of his bowl. But, if I follow through with that plan, who is really the pet? Me or him?

Tivo likes to eat when Replay eats, but Replay only wants to eat Tivo’s food. If Tivo picks the first bowl, “FUCK YOU THAT’S REPLAY’S BOWL!” If he waits until Replay chooses a bowl then takes the other, “FUCK YOU THAT IS ALSO REPLAY’S BOWL YOU MAKE ME CRAZY WHY DO YOU MAKE ME BE LIKE THIS?!?!?” Tivo like to scrape a few pieces of food into his water, then stare and them like, “How in the natural FUCK did that get in there?” He’ll splash them about for a bit, then occasionally cry until someone removes them and gives him clean water.

We let these things live in our homes. On purpose.

I hope you like the People With Idiot Cat Brains, because I’m doing a few comics with them.

NEWS:
My new podcast Potter & Daughter is live now! You can download the first episode here or subscribe via RSS or iTunes. Fancy Patreon Patrons get each episode a week early!

It’s freaking cold! Use code 10offhoodies to get $10 off any and all hoodies in the HE store! Use it as many times as you like.

I mentioned in the comments to THIS COMIC how I thought it would be neat to see the same events from the cats’ perspectives. Then, I made good on that threat HERE. And now, yet again, I am your macabre host as we journey into the inner monologue of nature’s dumbest dumb butthole, the cat.

Tivo was our first cat. He was frisky and cute and insanely hyperactive, so we got him a friend – Replay. Instead of calming him down, this action irreparably broke his brain. Ever since introducing replay into our lives, Tivo has been paranoid, nervous, skittish and terrified of basically everything. Add to that the grumpiness and whininess that comes with being 10 years old (275 in cat years), and he’s basically just a musty bag of spite and complaints.

Tivo’s only desire and only pleasure in life is to be sitting on my wife. When this is possible, he is content and quiet. When wife-sitting is not a possibility he just sort of roams around the house, carrying his favorite scarf and cries through his clenched teeth. It’s an inconceivably pathetic display to behold. We’ve long assumed that his only hope for the future is to burrow into my wife’s ribcage and lie there, completely content, until he dies. Christ, what a dumbass.

COMMENTERS: What would your pets name you and the other members of your household?

NEWS:
My new podcast Potter & Daughter is live now! You can download the first episode here or subscribe via RSS or iTunes. Fancy Patreon Patrons get each episode a week early!

It’s freaking cold! Use code 10offhoodies to get $10 off any and all hoodies in the HE store! Use it as many times as you like.

I mentioned in the comments to THIS COMIC how I thought it would be neat to see the same events from the cats’ perspectives.  Now BEHOLD, for I have followed through with that threat.

Replay, our black and white fuzzy idiot, is the kind of cat who knows his bowl is full, and knows YOU know his bowl is full, yet refuses to eat out of it until you escort him over to it and everyone just goes right ahead and acknowledges that it is full. Christ, what an asshole.

COMMENTERS: Your pets are stupid. This is a given. In what specific ways are your pets stupid? 

NEWS:
My new podcast Potter & Daughter is live now! You can download the first episode here or subscribe via RSS or iTunes. Fancy Patreon Patrons get each episode a week early!

It’s freaking cold! Use code 10offhoodies to get $10 off any and all hoodies in the HE store! Use it as many times as you like.

When my wife and I are speaking to each other, we are either A) Talking about our kid, B) Repeating something our kid said, C) Talking about our cats or D) Screaming whatever our cats are screaming, right back in their dumb, little, fuzzy, stupid idiot faces.

Our kid and our cats are basically our own, 2 person only, super-exclusive pop culture memes. What I mean to say, is we spend an awful lot of time conversing in references and memes to things that ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ELSE in the world would understand. Being a people is weird.

COMMENTERS: Do you talk to your animals or mimic their behavior when you’re alone in ways that you WOULD NOT do in mixed company for fear of having to defend yourself in a committal trial?