Fancy Bastards! If you’re going to San Diego Comic-Con, there is essentially ZERO reason to not come to booth #1234 and say Hi to me and the Cyanide & Happiness boys. I’ll be there selling prints and doing sketches all week with Kris Wilson and Rob DenBleyker!

I’ll be with Rob Denbleyker at the Cyanide & Happiness booth (#14076) from Thursday to Sunday (May 28-31). I’ll have HijiNKS ENSUE and FANEURYSM prints for sale, and Rob and I will be doing C&H sketches all weekend. Hope to see you there!

I get home on Monday June 1, and I’m also launching a new webcomic that day! (Assuming I do not fall prey to the BLOODWOLVES)

Stay tuned for a link and details.

Hustlin’ hustlin’, every day for three or four days at a time, every other month or so I’m hustlin’. It’s hard to be at a convention, trying to hawk some wares that you built with your brain and your fists and your guts, and then realizing the people just are picking up what you’re putting down. That’s when you have to decide on the fly that a t-shirt no one wants is actually $20 baby hammock. Everyone’s got a baby and no one has any place to put them. These aren’t book collections of a webcomic you’ve never heard of. No! These are perfect bound packs of artisanal, small batch, gluten free, sustainable pipe wrapping papers. You know, for when you give a pipe as a gift. And these? These aren’t posters referencing things with which you are totally unacquainted. These are One Page Dream Journals! YEAH! We covered the other side with random images and words to prevent you from going on too long about trying to fight off a hairless wolf with the face of your mother while you take a math test that you didn’t know about because you’re back in 10th grade for some reason. You’ll take ten? You must be really creative and smart.

This Fancy Photo Comic features Jennie, Kris and Dave from Cyanide & Happiness, Angela Melick and DumDum David.

If you missed Part 1, it’s HERE.

Most of these photos came from THIS VIDEO, in which I serenade David Willis in the back of a limo to Emerald City Comicon. A limo is a very silly mode of transportation, and being inside of one makes you feel like doing silly things. “It’s like a car, but LONGER! I’M GOING TO RUB MY BUTT ON EVERYTHING AND STICK MY HEAD OUT OF EVERYTHING ELSE!”

I expect there will be two more ECCC 2015 Fancy Photo Comics. They will likely feature, David. They will certainly not feature any more weird, long cars.

If you missed the Dragon’s Lair 2014 Fancy Photo Comic, it is HERE.

THE FINAL ECCC 2015 Sketch-A-Matic Sketches! All of these are from day 3.

This is part 4. Check out part 1, part 2 and part 3. The final sketch includes an awesome SPECIAL EFFECT that I learned from Kris Wilson. Of course, it negates ever hanging the sketch on the wall, much less framing it. I suggested the recipient build a backlit shadow box to display it in. It… didn’t seem like they were going to. Maybe they were worried about the joinery skills required to build a shadow box. Parents, teach your kids at least 3 forms of joinery. I suggest biscuit, dovetail and dado. To be safe, you should at least give them a primer in mortise and tenon as well. If we don’t teach our children basic and advanced woodworking skills, someone else will. Probably Norm Abram.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Sketch-A-Matic, here’s a bit of info about it: 

INTRODUCING THE SKETCH-A-MATIC!

The idea is simple, but the technology behind it is VAST and COMPLICATED!

It works like this: 

• The willing participant presses the big, red, impressive button
• The machine SPRING TO LIFE whirring and gyrating and buzzing
• When it finishes processing your individual, one of a kind sketch topic, you will hear a distinctive DING!
• 2 topic cards are spit out of the machine and placed on the sketch generation matrix
• The user may then choose to ad a multiplier card that will irrevocably alter the sketch in heretofore unimaginable ways!
• The machine’s operator (known as: The Artist) begins generating the one of a kind sketch using pencils and pens and paper like some horribly out of date 2D printer

EVEN more ECCC 2015 Sketch-A-Matic Sketches. Most of these are from day 3.

This is part 3. Check out part 1 and part 2. In case you were wondering, Picard, Data and Wesley are Ravenclaw, Riker and Deanna are Gryffindor, Geordi and Crusher are Hufflepuff and the Romulans are Slytherin. Warf is a Muggle. I know, I was just as surprised as you are.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Sketch-A-Matic, here’s a bit of info about it: 

INTRODUCING THE SKETCH-A-MATIC!

The idea is simple, but the technology behind it is VAST and COMPLICATED!

It works like this: 

• The willing participant presses the big, red, impressive button
• The machine SPRING TO LIFE whirring and gyrating and buzzing
• When it finishes processing your individual, one of a kind sketch topic, you will hear a distinctive DING!
• 2 topic cards are spit out of the machine and placed on the sketch generation matrix
• The user may then choose to ad a multiplier card that will irrevocably alter the sketch in heretofore unimaginable ways!
• The machine’s operator (known as: The Artist) begins generating the one of a kind sketch using pencils and pens and paper like some horribly out of date 2D printer

COMMENTERS: Feel free to sort the cast of your favorite show into Hogwarts houses. I’ll save you the trouble and do Seinfeld. Jerry and Newman are Slytherin, George is Hufflepuff, Elaine is Ravenclaw and Kramer is Gryffindor.

More ECCC 2015 Sketch-A-Matic Sketches. Most of these are from day 2, with a few from day 3.

In this one you can see some of the same cards that came up in part 1. I try to draw something different each time, even if I get cards I’ve already drawn. Though, I do jump at the chance to draw a giant bag of tacos any time someone gets the “Taco Tuesday” card. This set of sketches marks the first time I’ve ever drawn a kid “Free Willy-ing” a shark (that looks like a dolphin) with a chainsaw. I can finally cross that off my chum bucket list.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Sketch-A-Matic, here’s a bit of info about it: 

INTRODUCING THE SKETCH-A-MATIC!

The idea is simple, but the technology behind it is VAST and COMPLICATED!

It works like this: 

• The willing participant presses the big, red, impressive button
• The machine SPRING TO LIFE whirring and gyrating and buzzing
• When it finishes processing your individual, one of a kind sketch topic, you will hear a distinctive DING!
• 2 topic cards are spit out of the machine and placed on the sketch generation matrix
• The user may then choose to ad a multiplier card that will irrevocably alter the sketch in heretofore unimaginable ways!
• The machine’s operator (known as: The Artist) begins generating the one of a kind sketch using pencils and pens and paper like some horribly out of date 2D printer

Basically I was getting a lot of similar sketch requests at conventions, OR I was getting  a lot of “I don’t know, draw whatever you want,” type requests, so I developed this system to ensure there was always a decisive sketch idea ready to go, and that no two sketches would ever be exactly the same. I’ve tested it out for the first time at Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin and the results were incredibly amusing. Plus the whole process of “THE MACHINE” is pretty fun.

I had so much fun with the Sketch-A-Matic at Webcomic Rampage, I decided to bring it to Emerald City Comicon. Due to a retweet from my buddy Wil and a reblog on the official ECCC Tumblr, I had people lined up all weekend to “press the button.”

I did a TON of sketches that weekend. I’ll be posting quite a few of them here in (probably) 3 parts. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll have the Sketch-A-Matic with me at any more shows in 2015 since I’m doing all of my convention appearances as part of Cyanide & Happiness. Maybe I’ll do my next sketch drive using suggestions from the Sketch-A-Matic. Perhaps I could call the sketchee over Skype and go through the whole process with them live. Hmm…

If you’re unfamiliar with the Sketch-A-Matic, here’s a bit of info about it: 

INTRODUCING THE SKETCH-A-MATIC!

The idea is simple, but the technology behind it is VAST and COMPLICATED!

It works like this: 

• The willing participant presses the big, red, impressive button
• The machine SPRING TO LIFE whirring and gyrating and buzzing
• When it finishes processing your individual, one of a kind sketch topic, you will hear a distinctive DING!
• 2 topic cards are spit out of the machine and placed on the sketch generation matrix
• The user may then choose to ad a multiplier card that will irrevocably alter the sketch in heretofore unimaginable ways!
• The machine’s operator (known as: The Artist) begins generating the one of a kind sketch using pencils and pens and paper like some horribly out of date 2D printer

Basically I was getting a lot of similar sketch requests at conventions, OR I was getting  a lot of “I don’t know, draw whatever you want,” type requests, so I developed this system to ensure there was always a decisive sketch idea ready to go, and that no two sketches would ever be exactly the same. I’ve tested it out for the first time at Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin and the results were incredibly amusing. Plus the whole process of “THE MACHINE” is pretty fun.

Seattle Fancy Bastards need to know these things:

• I will be at booth 110 with David Willis​ all weekend.
• I will have lots of awesome prints, new and old, big and small (ask to see the big ones because they are in a book).
• I will have the Sketch-A-Matic!
• If you buy two prints, you get something free from THE MYSTERY BOX!
• I will have some of my wife’s fantastically geeky jewelry!
• There is a handy map to the booth here.
• I have new flyers, and many of them have coupon codes to the HE online store. GRAB ONE!

As is our tradition, Seattle, you may present me with coffee, confections or tiny bottles of booze to receive my favor. Oh such favor upon thee will I bestow!

“Now David, everyone knows Jesus can only see you if you move. Just like a T-Rex.”

My friend David draws naked college kids smashing their under-bits into each other for his job. I’ve read some of them. He’s… he’s good at it.

INTRODUCING THE SKETCH-A-MATIC!

The idea is simple, but the technology behind it is VAST and COMPLICATED!

It works like this: 

• The willing participant presses the big, red, impressive button
• The machine SPRING TO LIFE whirring and gyrating and buzzing
• When it finishes processing your individual, one of a kind sketch topic, you will hear a distinctive DING!
• 2 topic cards are spit out of the machine and placed on the sketch generation matrix
• The user may then choose to ad a multiplier card that will irrevocably alter the sketch in heretofore unimaginable ways!
• The machine’s operator (known as: The Artist) begins generating the one of a kind sketch using pencils and pens and paper like some horribly out of date 2D printer

Basically I was getting a lot of similar sketch requests at conventions, OR I was getting  a lot of “I don’t know, draw whatever you want,” type requests, so I developed this system to ensure there was always a decisive sketch idea ready to go, and that no two sketches would ever be exactly the same. I’ve tested it out for the first time at Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin and the results were incredibly amusing. Plus the whole process of “THE MACHINE” is pretty fun.

I’ll definitely be bringing The Sketch-A-Matic to conventions where I exhibit as HijiNKS ENSUE (but not the ones where I’m sketching with Cyanide & Happiness).

There is no greater feeling than that of one’s own bed, except perhaps for the feeling of one’s own bed after an extended period of time away from one’s own bed. It’s akin to abstaining from sex, so that when you finally do it you have all this pent up sext-time energy… except with sleep.

To say that I have “pent up sleep” after a convention is putting it mildly. On my best traveling sleep behavior, I manage to achieve unconsciousness for a period greater than two hours each night. At my worst (which is FAR more common), I do not actually sleep. I get in the bed, lay there for some amount of time, then get up and get ready for the show at the appropriate hour. A fair breakdown of my con sleep schedule is Night 1: 5-6 hours, Night 2: 3-4 hours, Night 3: 0-3 hours, Night 4: #BLOOOOOOOD.

My Fancy Patrons got to read this comic before anyone else! 

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Dalek earrings my wife made! They’re in her Etsy store and ready to EXTERMINATE your… lack of perfect ear jewelry?  

Every single time I come home from traveling one of my cats has completely forgotten I ever existed, and the other is positive I am an undead replicant or possible a million alien bugs wearing a Joel suit. The apathetic one, Replay, briefly looks up from licking his own asshole, then gets right back to chowing down. The paranoid idiot one, Tivo, tears across the house as soon as he sees me, then takes refuge either under my bed or between my night stand and the wall. Two places that I, as a human with arms and legs, obviously have no way of ever infiltrating.

Tivo is your basic fuzzy dumbass. Just fuzzy as all get out, and as dumb as the day long. These are things that do not terrify Tivo: me sitting in a chair. Me walking through the room. These are things that ABSOLUTELY terrify Tivo: Me getting up from sitting in a chair, me walking through the room wearing sandals, me walking through the room holding something in my hands, me walking in the direction that he is also walking in, me doing a thing, a thing happening, me standing up and then a thing happens… you get the idea. His primary fears are me, things, happenings, and most other all of it.

Replay, the other one, couldn’t give two shits connected by a piece of string that he ate (A real thing that has happened in my house several times. We call them “poop-chucks.”) if I lived or died. The only thing that leads me to think he might prefer my death is that I get the distinct impression he wants to hollow out my chest cavity and take up residence in my rib cage. It’s hard to explain why I think this. Some cats, just give off that vibe, you know?

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Sonic Screwdriver earrings my wife made! 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/200762224/doctor-who-inspired-sonic-screwdriver

 This is such a true story, it is MULTIPLE true stories. With an S. The first time this happened I was in Toronto and the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls toys were being debuted at the show. Kiddo was obsessed with the movie and I was missing her first day of 1st grade to be at this particular convention, so I wanted to get her a cool gift. I went up to the booth and browsed what was in the case. There was a mother with her young daughter, 8 or 9 years old (American years… no idea what the Canadian metric conversion age is.), and it quickly became clear that we were looking at the same things. I feared her mother had warned her about the “grown men who like to play with ponies,” of which I was not one, but CLEARLY appeared to be one at that moment. I almost said aloud, “I’m shopping for my DAUGHTER,” but I thought better of uttering what is likely the shameful battle cry of the self-hating adult pony enthusiast.

My Patrons can see the original last panel to the previous comic which spawned the writing process for THIS comic [HERE]. 

A more subtle approach would be to ask, “How old is your daughter? Mine is 6 and she LOVES this stuff.” But as I thought the words they immediately became twisted and creepy. “HoWwWwww OLLLLLD izzzz yoURRR DAWWWWWWTERRRRRR?!?!? [pant pant hisssssssss]” Better to just smile as un-creepily as possible and wait for the booth worker to come over. She arrived and addressed the little girl first. “I want Twilight!” she belted enthusiastically. “OK, just let me get one from the back, eh? [aboot soory]” the associate replied. I had already been away from my booth for longer than I intended, so I just raised my hand and said, “Make that two.” I might as well have said, “I’ll have what she’s having,” then given the mom a wink and a pair of finger guns. Then I could just hold my wrists together and wait for security to put them in handcuffs. A more direct approach would have been, “I’LL HAVE THE SAME PONY THAT THE CHILD IS HAVING! I’LL HAVE IT FOR MY OWNNNNN!”

Anyway, I felt goofy buying it at a convention, but Kiddo loved it and that was the point. A year or so later at SDCC I had the exact same experience, only more so humiliating. My con-wife, David, had procured through man-child sorcery a special VIP pass to the Hasbro booth, which let you skip the massive line of other man-children and purchase whatever they were offering that reminded you of when you were young and alive and so much further away from an inevitable death. David and I made the death march from the webcomics area of the floor to the Hasbro booth which, while only being about 10 rows away, took a good 30 minutes to reach in SDCC time. The cases were full of robots and ponies and maybe some robot ponies, but definitely NO pony robots. I flashed my VIP (Very Impressive Pony) badge and was ushered to the front of an impossible long line.

To my chagrin, I learned that all of the stuff in the cases was not, in fact, for sale and was, in fact, for filling space in cases. The only thing they sold at this booth was convention exclusive toys, most of which cost upwards of $50-$100. I usually spend about $20 on Kiddo’s convention gift and maybe another $10 on comics for her. The cheapest thing they had, that would be of any interest to her at all was $35. It was a limited edition pony who was based on a character from an episode that she had seen, but who only actually appeared in the comics, which she had not read. I had come all of this way, and no booth was going to have shorter line than this. Maybe she would think the “con exclusive” aspect of it was cool. Whatever. “I’ll take a… Mane-iac Mayhem Equestria Girl.” The booth worker looked at me like, “Of course you will, Beardo,” and wrapped it up.

I wiki’d the character once I got back to the booth, so I could at least know what I was presenting to my child. That’s how it happens. That’s how you get THE KNOWING. Not, necessarily by being interested in your kid’s toys and shows themselves, but by being interested in your kid. Granted, there are lots of things she’s into that I am GENUINELY into. Adventure Time, Minecraft, Ninja Turtles… Our Venn Diagram of interests has plenty of legitimate overlap. MLP: FiMOMGLOL just isn’t my bag, and so I feel like a goofus when I have to display my uncharacteristically extensive knowledge of the subject matter.

My daughter lives in a world where everything she likes is the universally adored, coolest stuff ever. “How could anyone NOT like Littlest Pet Shop?! [I could list 1000 reasons] It’s the COOLEST! [It is not]” But, rather than be the dad who “doesn’t get it, doesn’t WANT to get it,” I want to be the dad who begrudgingly watches the overly bubbly, hyper manic, highest possible pitched shouting matches that are her favorite shows, so that when she wants to talk about them (which is always), I will have more to say than, “That’s nice, Kiddo.”

The problems occur when I actually start to have opinions about this stuff. Like how, in a world with three distinct evolutionary offshoots of the dominant species, where one of the subsets is so much more powerful than the other two as to make them appear crippled, does a caste system not naturally develop? Here’s how a real world Equestria would break down: Unicorns on top, ruling the Pegasi and Earth Ponies with an iron hoof. Just dominating every aspect of pony life and taking what they want, when they want, from whomever they want. They are telekinetic magic users in a community where everyone else can’t even get a book off the shelf without gnawing at it with their teeth! The pegasi are their enforcers. They are still subjugated by the unicorns, but they are awarded special privileges for keeping the Earth ponies in line. The Earth ponies are garbage. Just pure, fucking nonsense garbage. They dig trenches, and break rocks, and pull shit around in carts and probably serve as a food source for the upper classes.

Bare minimum, this shit is all going down 5 minutes after the unicorns figure out magic. Extrapolate a bit further, probably after an uprising or two, and the unicorns have completely wiped out the other two classes and enslaved… I don’t know… whatever species Strawberry Shortcake is.

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Sonic Screwdriver earrings my wife made! 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/200762224/doctor-who-inspired-sonic-screwdriver

Update 09-03-14: GAH! Toronto Fan Expo was a ton of fun, but the preparation, time spent there, time traveling home and recovery have and ARE costing me greatly in terms of productivity. I am frantically trying to update/backdate new comics so there are 4 a week for every week. I’m doing my best. Luckily I don’t have much travel planned for the rest of the year.

The only real, honest reason to be your own boss and work from home (as I am and do) is to have the power to decide when to wear pants. Of course there’s the freedom, and the fulfillment and the loving the work and the blah blah blah, but primarily it’s the pants thing. It’s not so much deciding when actually to WEAR pants (because no sane, self actualized person would ever consciously decide to put on pants while not under duress), as much as it is deciding when and how often to perform activities that REQUIRE you to wear the pants. Got a bill that requires you to go somewhere and pay it in person? That’s a pants bill! Cancel that service immediately! Need to go to a store and buy a thing? No you don’t! You already have too much shit! Don’t create a pants problem where none exists. Trying to meet a potential mate who doesn’t already live in your house? Just die alone! Why prolong the inevitable, and why prolong the pants?

The typical career path of the self employed, creative type is slowly but surely whittling down “pants time” to the absolute minimum, with the ultimate goal being achieving a state of “Pants Zero.” It’s like Absolute Zero or Inbox Zero, but for pants. This is honestly the closest any self employed creative is ever going to get to the concept of retirement. We typically understand that we’re all going to die at our drawing desks, or keyboards, or pianos with a big grin on our faces. Working ever increasingly more and harder (not smarter) as one approaches death IS the plan. The only way to sweeten the already sweet lifetime of sweet toil is to make sure while the graph line of “time spent working / age” goes steeply from the bottom left to the top right, that the line for “time spent working /  wearing pants” starts at the bottom left and declines sharply right off the page.

I am extremely lucky in that I am not wearing pants right now, and I am rarely called upon to do so. It’s like when you try and do the dishes and they somehow come out dirtier than before, then people eventually stop asking you to do the dishes. I have time and time again displayed my ineptitude at being a person who puts on pants to get the mail, or answer the door. Eventually people just stopped expecting it of me, and I move ever closer to my Pants Zero goal. I have maybe two pants days a week, and even then it’s usually only for 2-4 pant-hours at a time (a pants-hour is calculated as two time’s a regular hour, because of how shitty it makes you feel and how everything sucks twice as much when you’re wearing pants). Seriously, though. Fuck pants.

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Sonic Screwdriver earrings my wife made! 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/200762224/doctor-who-inspired-sonic-screwdriver

Update 09-03-14: GAH! Toronto Fan Expo was a ton of fun, but the preparation, time spent there, time traveling home and recovery have and ARE costing me greatly in terms of productivity. I am frantically trying to update/backdate new comics so there are 4 a week for every week. I’m doing my best. Luckily I don’t have much travel planned for the rest of the year.

I have only experienced a full Planecouch once in my life. It was a rare and wonderful bit of magic. Upon realizing my good fortune, I actually raised all the armrests and laid down across all three seats. I was like a king in one of those big king chairs, except 50,000 feet in the sky and going like 300 miles an hour. It was some of the most baller shit I have ever been apart of. I almost had a second Planecouch once, but fate had crueler designs for me.

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Sonic Screwdriver earrings my wife made! 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/200762224/doctor-who-inspired-sonic-screwdriver

TORONTO FANCY BASTARDS! I will be with Cyanide & Happiness at FANExpo Canada, August 28-31 at booth 456! I’ll have lots of shirts and prints and we’ll be doing sketches all weekend. We’ll also be hosting the 3rd annual Toronto Banana Bar Crawl! I hope to see you there! MORE INFO HERE! 

This is basically a true story. I am not an easy sleeper. I can pretty much only sleep in my bed, in my house and even then it’s pretty hit or miss. Sleeping at night is a learned skill for me, and I learned it using certain tools. Replace those tools with a fold out couch in Denver or an air mattress in Seattle and all the learning just fades away. I did, however, manage to sleep in an airport just once. I can’t remember which convention I was coming home from, but I know I hadn’t slept in at least 2 days. I had to quickly lay claim to a spot and devise a plan that would A) wake me up on time) and B) alert me if any of my stuff was moved. I think I had 2 suitcases and a backpack, so I held the backpack like a baby and tied the suitcases to my feet using a luggage strap. I put my phone, with the alarm set as loud as it would go, in my pocket, my glasses in my suitcase and my headphones in my ears. I rolled over and proceeded to drool and twitch while unconscious for a solid 45 minutes. My only real hope was that I would look just crazy enough that no one would think to bother me. I suppose it worked, because I awoke unrefreshed and unmolested. Airport Terminal sleep is anything but restful. At that point it was just necessary for survival. It was the sleep equivalent of eating your own leg to survive. Considering the cost and quality of airport sandwiches, that might have also been a necessary tactic.

COMMENTERS: Where’s the oddest place you’ve ever slept, or the most inappropriate/unfortunate thing you’ve ever slept through?

Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Sonic Screwdriver earrings my wife made! 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/200762224/doctor-who-inspired-sonic-screwdriver

David is my con-wife, and thus it is my responsibility to take care of him. I make sure he gets where he needs to be, that he’s well fed and that he stays hydrated during the day. Any free food or snacks or luxuries of any kind that I am afforded via fans or acquaintances, I do my best to share with him. In return he doesn’t put up too much of a fight when I convince him that any free booze “WE” were given by fans was actually meant for “ME” and I am “PROBABLY” going to “SHARE” it with him. He also repays me in how he falls asleep very quickly at night and lays there, mostly silent, while I stare at the ceiling wishing I could sleep in any bed other than my own. That is, unless I try to watch TV or keep the lights on past his bedtime. Then he gets VERRRRY cranky.

The pants difficulties depicted above actually happened to David and his MARITAL wife as we all were leaving Seattle this year. I’d like to take credit, but, “The more you pull it, the longer it gets!” is an actual thing David, an actual adult human, exclaimed in an airport as his MARITAL wife pawed and grasped at his crotchital region. At that moment, the muse spoke to me, and I wrote down everything he said. It was poetry in pants problems.

COMMENTERS: Do you have a con-wife, or a work-spouse,  or a consummate travel partner or any other kind of oddly intimate, but non-sexual relationship that seems to only activate in a certain place or while performing a certain activity?

Last month the HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon went over $1500, which means 4 new comics a week is in full effect! This is the 1st new HE comic for this week. Here’s hoping I can keep it going. At $2000/mo we hit 5 new comics a week, and that’s when I flee to the desert and hug a cactus until a family of rattlesnakes makes a home in my skull.

I’ve been planning to draw the final panel of this comic for several months now. It is my favorite image of David Willis that I have ever drawn. I cannot say that this has really happened 100% as depicted above, but I also cannot say that we’re totally doing this the next time we see each other. I expect our money will get mixed up, and then we’ll have to sort out which money belongs to whom the way our founding fathers did: By adding up who has the most Transformers and giving all the money to the other guy.

Conventions are a weird thing. They cost a ton, they drain you physically and mentally and they usually destroy whatever productivity or momentum you had going on with your regular work, but we (cartoonists) are compelled to keep doing them. I can honestly say that 80-90% of the drive for doing conventions is getting to see my comic-friends. Sometimes the money is good and it comes just when I’m not sure how I’m going to pay the mortgage, and getting to interact with readers face to face is a real treat, but the friendships are the thing I would feel like I was missing out on the most if I stopped going.

Being a traveling Internet cartoonist is like carrying on a dozen or so long distance relationships. Sure, you can text and skype and stay in touch via Twitter and Facebook, but you don’t really get to build new memories or new shared experiences until you’re getting kicked out of a hotel lobby together because that particular hotel doesn’t allow drunken pizza parties at the coat check desk at 4am and WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ANYWAY TO TELL ME WHERE I CAM… WHERE I CAM… WHERE I CAN AND CAN’T HAVE A PIZZA PARTY DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I DRAW BRO ARE YOU EVEN A INTERNET?!

Anyway, it’s a fun time more often than not and a necessary recharge for the relationships in my life that happen one weekend at a time, four to five times a year. I have to pack a lot of living into that single weekend in order to feel like my con-friends aren’t so far away once I get home. Hotel lobby or not, we ARE having that drunken pizza party, dammit.

Last month the HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon went over $1500, which means 4 new comics a week is in full effect! This is the 4th new HE comic for this week. Here’s hoping I can keep it going. At $2000/mo we hit 5 new comics a week, and that’s when I flee to the desert and hug a cactus until a family of rattlesnakes makes a home in my skull.

I’ve enjoyed being able to share some of the weirdness of traveling to comic conventions with you Fancy Bastards via this story line. The sideways, backwards, wrong way Uber icon thing actually happened to me and Rob Denbleyker from Cyanide and Happiness at SDCC. We just stood on the street corner watching the icon twist and turn, go through buildings and circle back the wrong way. The part about the lady attendant in the men’s room was actually a thing I freaked out about at SDCC, though I did manage to keep my composure. It didn’t care that it was a lady in the men’s room. I paused for a second, thinking I was in the wrong place, but it certainly wasn’t the idea of a strange lady looking at my back while I pee that worried me. I simply cannot come to terms with the concept of bathroom attendants in general.

So many questions come to mind. Are they just standing there silent staring at urinals when no one is in there? Are they relieved or annoyed when someone does arrive? How do they feel about doing a completely unnecessary job  that actually ads multiple levels of complexity and confusion to a very simple process? Washing your own hands and grabbing a paper towel out of a dispenser is an uncomplicated process. It’s also the culmination of what is, for most, a PRIVATE activity. Introducing an addition human being between you and the hand washing apparatus is orders of magnitude more convoluted than NOT doing that for everyone involved. I want to tell them to let me do it myself, but that somehow seems rude. What if you ran into the bathroom to have a horrific emergency type toilet experience and then came out and had to face a pretty, smiling women who knows EVERYTHING you just went through? Should she pat you on the back and offer condolences? Should she avert her eyes and shame you for your misdeeds?  What about the ones that try to sell you things? Candy, cologne and condoms: The 3 C’s of bathroom attending. Who in their right mind would buy toilet candy from a bathroom lady? What if she was in no way identified as an employee of the establishment?  Would you buy food from a strange women who was hanging out in the men’s room? EVERYTHING about bathroom attendants give me cause for alarm and distress. 

[UPDATE 8/26/14]
I won’t be using Uber again until they publicly disavow their anti-competitive practices and apologize for “Project SLOG.”

Uber, on the other hand, is a fucking magical dream (despite the app glitch depicted in this silly comic). Traveling from city to city and con to con for the last 7 years has taught be a lot about the misery of public transportation. I’ve stood in the rain for 30+ minutes, frantically trying to hail a NYC cab only to have it snatched out from under me by some cab-sniper ranting and raving about how he saw it first, from his vantage point around the corner and behind a bush. With Uber, you set up your account (takes about 3 minutes), then press THE button, the ONLY button in the app. The button that says, “Send a driver to my current GPS location (or the location of my choosing if I want to move the little location dot over to the street corner or whatever), and have them be in a clean and newish car, and show me on a map exactly how far away they are and every turn they make along the way, and text me when they get here. Also make them have my number to call me in case they have a hard time locating me, or if I’m drunk and I tell them I’m at 4th and B, when I’m actually at 4th and E (which is a thing I did). And just for grins, let me rate their performance when they’re done to weed out the shitty drivers from the system.” Like I said, It’s a god damn “We live in the glorious future” amazing miracle service. We used it exclusively in San Diego this year and it made EVERYTHING about a normally untenable situation (getting to and from the Convention Center each day) a delight.

Uber is a disruptive technology that is clearly superior to traditional cab companies in every way, which is why traditional cab companies are so scared of them. I say to the cab companies, Improve your service, compete instead of shut out, or watch me laugh as you are BURNED TO THE GROUND.  This year at SDCC, me and Dave from Cyanide & Happiness had this one driver who played us “Funkytown” and The Gap Band and told us stories about riding around in his custom van, listening to The Gap Band and smoking weed when he was a young man. He was our angel and I’ve missed him every day since.

Last month the HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon went over $1500, which means starting right now there will be 4 new comics a week! Thank you all so much for the support!

This is me at the end of every comic convention, but especially at the end of SDCC. There’s nothing like being in a VIP room (that you somehow got into because you know a guy who know’s a girl who worked on that one show with that other girl…), with an open bar, packed to the rafters with celebrities both legitimate, internet and otherwise and wanting NOTHING more than to hug your family and crawl into your own bed. The best party is almost ALWAYS on the last night and the last night is almost ALWAYS when you’ve lost all enthusiasm for partying.

This is certainly a charmed problem to have, but my goal is to share some honest truths about my weird life while also being somewhat entertaining. Hence my relating the mostly entirely true story of trying to convince my friends to leave the VIP Mythbusters party (in which Guillermo Del Toro and the Korean dude from LOST were in attendance… so was Skrillex, but that’s a different story all together.) and catch an Uber back to our hotel so we get could a good night’s sleep before our flight home the next morning. Home is where the heart is, and home is where the butt goes. Put that butt at your home. It goes there. It wants to be there. Put it there.

TARDIS Necklace from Science & Fiction

Do me a favor, if you enjoy this comic, please check out my store, my shirts on Sharksplode, and my wife’s geeky jewelry on Etsy. It would help us out a great deal.

DENVER FANCY BASTARDS:
I will be at Denver Comic Con THIS WEEKEND with Cyanide & Happiness June 13-15, 2014 at booth 734!

It’s always been hard for me to equate the things I make and the things my friends make with the “REAL” things (books, movie, TV) that I consume. For the longest time I suffered from this ridiculous mental block where I thought characters and stories created by my friends (or by ANY webcomic artist) just weren’t as real as the characters on TV or in movies. Something about the fact that I KNEW these people and KNEW what went into the making of a webcomic removed the mystique and delegitimized their art to me. I also thought I was protected from this delegitimizing effect because I wasn’t TRYING to tell a real story. I was only making observational pop culture jokes, and webcomics were the perfect place to do just that.

In retrospect, I’m not sure how I was so dumb about this whole thing for so long. Perhaps it was fear of failing at telling a decent story with an online comic that got me into thinking it wasn’t a valid medium for that kind of creative endeavor.  Whatever the reason, I was wrong. Dumb and wrong. Just a big ol’ wrong, dumb wrong-guy.

Current and Future Patrons, we are less than $100 away from unlocking more comics per week!

This is a 100% true story about the time my good friend, David Willis, gave me a boner with his brain. Well, technically he drew the cards with his hands, so… yeah, he basically straight up gave me a handy. Looks, all I know is he had a brain and some hands and then there was art and shame. What more is there in life? Absolutely nothing. You got your brainhands, and your artshame and that’s it.

FANCY BASTARD BULLETIN! 
Tuesday June 3rd is my birthday (I’m almost positive I’m turning 33). If you like to help me celebrate, please feel free to check out:

• My Patreon campaign
• My donation page or
• My Amazon wish list.

The Patreon is honestly the greatest thing you can do for me in terms of making sure I am still able to do HijiNKS ENSUE as my full time job. Otherwise, I’ll happily take an Internet high five via Twitter or Facebook.

COMMENTERS: What could I possibly ask you relating to this topic that wouldn’t bring on a bunch of things I don’t actually want to know? How about this: Have you ever become a fan of a friend? This happens A LOT in my line of work, but have you ever known an artist or musician or pornographer or comedian in real life that you are now a genuine fan of outside of your friendship?

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

I had A LOT of fun making this comic for some reason. Perhaps it was sleep deprivation induced euphoria, but the dialog, the inks, everything was just a blast to create. Especially that blanket in panel 2. I am super proud of that blanket. That’s a GOOD blanket (cartoonists get excited about weird things). I hope you like it.

I taught cartooning to my daughter’s 1st grade class this week and I made a cover of one of my favorite Pixies songs as a thank you to my Patreon Patrons. My Patrons also got to see a rough version of this comic early (hint hint).

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

At least a dozen of you DEMANDED that I make a shirt based on this comic, SO I DID.

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

I have 4 or 5 submissions for the Fancy Fan Art Contest. I NEED MORE! “But, Joel! I don’t know how to art!” you say? TOO BAD! YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT! Write a poem! Write a song! Bake a cake! Knit a scarf! The more creative the better! RULES, PRIZES AND DETAILS HERE. 

At least a dozen of you DEMANDED that I make a shirt based on this comic, SO I DID.

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

I have 4 or 5 submissions for the Fancy Fan Art Contest. I NEED MORE! “But, Joel! I don’t know how to art!” you say? TOO BAD! YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT! Write a poem! Write a song! Bake a cake! Knit a scarf! The more creative the better! RULES, PRIZES AND DETAILS HERE. 

Alternate title: “I Ain’t Got Time To Pee”

100% true story from the very first con at which I ever exhibited (except David wasn’t actually there). Something about a pink human dick emerging between a Predator’s legs made it seems like either A) This Predator has a really small, really fucked up dick, or B) This Predator has eaten a human, and it’s attempting to escape out of the Predator’s vagina, dick first. YES there are lady Predators, you xenomisogynists.

At least a dozen of you DEMANDED that I make a shirt based on this comic, SO I DID. If I don’t sell at least a dozen I will brand the 12 of you as liars and scoundrels for time in perpetuity.

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

I have 3 submissions for the Fancy Fan Art Contest. I NEED MORE! “But, Joel! I don’t know how to art!” you say? TOO BAD! YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT! Write a poem! Write a song! Bake a cake! Knit a scarf! The more creative the better! RULES, PRIZES AND DETAILS HERE. 

The most recent HijiNKS HANGOUT is archived HERE and features me, Mikey Neumann and Stepto trying to figure out where Star Trek Into Darkness fits into the “quality pantheon” of Star Trek films.

UPDATE: You guys demanded it, so the Transformers shirt in the last panel is a real thing now. 

Of course comic Joel is reacting to the shirt he saw in THIS COMIC in the only way he knows how: with equal measures of drawing dumb stuff and righteous indignation. That’ll show the world.

COMMENTERS: What’s the most ignorant of offensive t-shirt you’ve ever seen? It doesn’t have to be within the context of geek culture, but that might help to keep things in context. Please don’t get into political tees. That will open up a whole thing I don’t really want to get into on this site. What about the most right on, inclusive or inspirational tee you’ve seen?

Fancy Patrons got to see this comic a day early (albeit in a rough draft fashion).

Hello new readers! I hope you are enjoying the comics. Please check out the ABOUT PAGE and then check out the ARCHIVE PAGE so you can see the different types of comics I’ve created and posted here over the years. You might also want to read about THE EXPERIMENT, follow me on TWITTER (and TUMBLR) or join our FANCY BASTARD FACEBOOK GROUP where we mostly talk about what’s currently on TV and other geekery.

I saw a parody of the now infamous Wondercon “Coffee shirt” that replaced the bottom line with “I’m terrified of coffee.” It’s frustrating when the internet gets upset over the typical depiction of the “Standard North American Fedora (yes, I know the hat is called a Tribly. The PERSON IN THE HAT is called a Fedora.),” with their half-formed mustaches, their intense and undeserved overconfidence about their hysterically shitty opinions and their  general obliviousness to why everyone is always trying to escape their orbit. This is not a stereotype. This is a fixture of the world in which I have chosen to make my home and ply my trade. Mysogyny is real, it is rampant in comics and geek culture and it’s a fucking cancer on an otherwise lovely and inclusive corner of The Internet/real world.

The comics I grew up on, and honestly most all of the comics that preceded them… well, shit, and MOST all of the comics today, fed and continue to feed this systemic malfunction like dry brush to the fire. You don’t have to read many super hero books to wonder why “men” raised on them have a skewed view of a woman’s value and place in the world. The super men were/are just as laughable, but their portrayal is far less damaging. Despite being impossibly muscled murder machines and one-liner factories, at least they had stuff to do. At least they were more than a pair of super powered quadruple F titties, hovering above 8 pack abs, wrapped around a 12″ waste. Granted, they weren’t MUCH more, but they were more.

I will admit that I haven’t regularly read a super hero book in about 15 years. I’ll pick up the occasional trade or one shot, but the genre as a whole doesn’t do much for me. I guess, I don’t really know the current state of things. I know what I see at conventions, which is exactly what I remember from my childhood. I’ve kept up with the new Buffy comics (seasons 8, 9 and the current season 10), which certainly break the mold in terms of how super powered women are portrayed. Though Buffy (in whatever incarnation) has always done that, so color me not surprised (though still delighted).

COMMENTERS: Ladies: Do you feel welcomed in the world of comics and conventions? What aspects of geekdom have brought you into the fold? What still needs to change? Which books/titles/fandoms are the most inclusive and accurate in their portrayal of women?

Men: When did you realize that super hero comics were sort of misogynist and fucked up? Was it Frank Miller? I bet it was Frank Miller.

The next Patron-ONLY Google Hangout is Wednesday night, May 13th at 9pm central. I will post the link in the Patreon Activity feed when it goes live. We’ll talk and I’ll draw. It’s a good time!

A reader emailed me one time and said they wanted to donate a Bitcoin to me. At the time they were worth around $160 of non-pretend (but, honestly, ACTUALLY pretend) US currency. I replied back stating that I was not a robot, and did not have a data port installed for cryptocurrency upload, nor did I understand how to convert a gifted Bitcoin into, say, an Amazon gift card or something besides an abstract digital concept. That reader never replied. Now Bitcoins are worth several times what they were back then, but still no one has figured out how to spend them.

As far as I understand, Bitcoins are like if you could spend your Twitter followers. Which means Dogecoins are like if your job payed you in upvotes. Actually Dogecoins, a silly joke currency for digital laughs and dogeital ha ha’s, are now  apparently real money, so I guess we just aren’t taking the concept of currency seriously anymore as a species. Whatever man. Do what you want, I guess. “Live and let spiral helplessly into gullible digital financial ruin,” is what I always say.

COMMENTERS: I suppose everything you see on the Internet is currency now. Please make up your own Internet trope or meme-based monies in the comments. Also, please let me know if you’ve ever successfully earned, kept and spent a Bitcoin. HOW DO YOU EVEN DO IT?

Patrons got to read this comic (in a half finished state) a day early.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

Thank you so much for treating me so kindly while I visited your fine city, and thank you to my friends/brothers from  Cyanide & Happiness for hosting me and letting me play in there sandbox once again. I worked harder and drew more at this con than I ever have in my entire life. We, Rob Denbleyker and I, literally sketched for 9 hours a day, 4 days in a row with no more than a 15 minute break each day. My hands are sore, my brain is tired, and my heart is full of Alberta beaf… no, wait. My stomach… no, pretty sure it’s my heart. 

I hope to see you again next year, Calgary!

RE: This comic
When I was at Emerald City Comicon last month, I received the first ever piece of “post-reboot” HE fan art (WARNING: ADORBS) from Fancy Bastard Natalie Metzger. She contacted me and offered a guest comic for my Calgary trip and I was all too happy to accept. Oh, little bottles of booze, you will surely be my undoing. You and the Great Old Ones. But mostly you.

Natalie has two webcomics going on right now:

http://cthulhuslippers.com and http://over-encumbered.com

She also has a website/hub here:  http://thefuzzyslug.com

STORE STUFF!
There are some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them. Appease your lamenting walls!

[actually posted on 4/25/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I sketched this comic on a plane and drew it in a Canadian hotel room. Convention permitting, I will be posting some more comics over this weekend. I’ve also got a pretty sweet guest comic lined up for while I’m returning from Calgary Expo on Monday.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.

RE: This comic
I have made a lot of comics about Star Trek, many of them about TNG. When someone asks me about TNG is like I’m Madonna, it’s 1997 and someone just asked me about Kabbalah. I burst like a dam of interest, enthusiasm and information. Seriously. Try it sometime. Ask me about Data’s journey to become more human. Ask me about Dr. Crusher’s diminished role in Wesley’s life, and how we was a child raised by a bridge crew (AND SCIENCE!). Ask me about how bad Troi was at her job. SPOILERS: She was TERRIBLE at it. Anyway, I freaking love TNG so hard. It’s the one fandom that shaped me the most. I love a lot of made up space stuff, but TNG is the made up space stuff that changed my brain the most. Hell, I dare you to ask me about how much I hate Dr. Pulaski. Go ahead. I DARE YOU. 

STORE STUFF!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

COMMENTERS: What made up stuff made the biggest impression on you? Was it made up space stuff? I hope it was made up space stuff.

[actually posted on 4/22/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I have a pretty cool idea for how to get caught up this week, that I think many of you are going to enjoy. More on that when it’s actually a thing. I’ve also got a pretty sweet guest comic lined up for while I’m away at Calgary Expo.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.

RE: This comic
David’s a real person, and one of my best friends. I am also a real person. Comic Joel is a fictionalized version of myself. Comic David is a HYPER-fictionalized version of David IRL. I hate explaining jokes, but I thought it was necessary to explain this distinction to prevent anyone else from thinking I am being rude, or cruel to my actual real life friend.

Speaking of selling things related to comics TO people, AT places, a reader asked me for some business advice and I posted my answers to her questions here on my Tumblr.

STORE UPDATE!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

The first ever HijiNKS HANGOUT was fun! My guests were be David Willis and Angela Melick and you can view the archived stream HERE. If you miss the HE Podcast, the HijiNKS HANGOUT is probably a thing that will make you happy. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges for the next one to #HijiNKSHangout.

[actually posted on 4/21/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I have a pretty cool idea for how to get caught up this week, that I think many of you are going to enjoy. More on that when it’s actually a thing.

RE: This comic
Get it? It’s because I envy David’s enormous audience and all his success! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, good times. Good times. Seriously, though, I DO envy David. Not for his readership, but for his work ethic. On a good day, David draws four comics. In a good WEEK, I draw three. I’m working on… working on it. I also want to recognize that David has been very kind about sharing these comics staring him with his readers, and I know they are not actually butt-eyed trolls. Jealousy can make you say hurtful things about eyes and butts. I’m certain they are wonderful people, who perhaps need another webcomic in their lives.

STORE UPDATE!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

The Patreon Patron-ONLY Hangout was fun! It was just me and a handful of Patrons shooting various shits for an hour or so. For part of it they watched me draw a commission I was working on while we talked about conventions and such. There will be another one next month, and if you’re a $10 Patron or above, you are SUPER INVITED to join in!

The first ever HijiNKS HANGOUT was also fun! My guests were be David Willis and Angela Melick and you can view the archived stream HERE. If you miss the HE Podcast, the HijiNKS HANGOUT is probably a thing that will make you happy. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges for the next one to #HijiNKSHangout.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.

[actually posted on 4/16/14] I’m still playing catch up on a week’s worth of comics. This is the second new comic I’ve posted today. You can see the previous one by clicking the back button up in the comic navigation.

100% Convention Truefacts! You can almost always find your way TO the convention in the morning by following the Narutos and find your way HOME (to the hotel) in the evening by following the same, partially undressed/disassembled, significantly more sluggish Narutos. They are nature’s cosplay compasses. They flock… or school.. they do one of those. Anyway, they do it search of food, mates and nesting grounds. If you seek any of those things FOLLOW THE NARUTOS! Do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT follow the adult Pokemons anywhere. ANYWHERE. You do not want to go where they’re going. You do not want to see what they see.

2 HANGOUTS THIS WEEK! 

Patreon Patron-ONLY Hangout is tonight [4/16/14] at 9pm central! $10+ Patrons and above can join me on Google Hangout while I draw, answer questions and do other stuff for about an hour, or until we get bored. I will post the link in the Patreon Activity Feed 5-10 minutes before I get started.

The HijiNKS HANGOUT is tomorrow night [4/17/14] at 9pm central. It’s open to all, and will be streaming live on Youtube (I will tweet the link right before we get started). My guests will be David Willis and Angela Melick. Viewers of our ComfyCon panel can expect more of the same. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges to #HijiNKSHangout.

I wrote a blog post about how my Patreon is going and when to expect the rewards I’m working on right now.

[actually posted on 4/16/14] I’m still playing catch up on a week’s worth of comics. I’ll be posting a second new comic later today, so check back!

This comic is based on the time Kiddo got her first Choose Your Own Adventure book. It’s actually called The Secret Of The Ninja, and she was ENTHRALLED with the concept of reading a book over and over again with different outcomes. She’d have her face buried in the book for a few minutes, then pop up and ask, “Should I drink the tea and go into a trance or continue up the mountain?!” These are the hard questions that every parent eventually has to answer. My fatherly instincts told me which path she should take. “TRANCE, TRANCE, TRANCE! That sounds awesome! The mountain will still be there when you come out of it!”

2 HANGOUTS THIS WEEK! 

Patreon Patron-ONLY Hangout is tonight [4/16/14] at 9pm central! $10+ Patrons and above can join me on Google Hangout while I draw, answer questions and do other stuff for about an hour, or until we get bored. I will post the link in the Patreon Activity Feed 5-10 minutes before I get started.

The HijiNKS HANGOUT is tomorrow night [4/17/14] at 9pm central. It’s open to all, and will be streaming live on Youtube (I will tweet the link right before we get started). My guests will be David Willis and Angela Melick. Viewers of our ComfyCon panel can expect more of the same. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges to #HijiNKSHangout.

I wrote a blog post about how my Patreon is going and when to expect the rewards I’m working on right now.

[actually posted on 4/14/14] I’m playing catch up on a week’s worth of comics. Luckily I’ve got three written and I’m banging them out one after another. Just like Josh will be at his Bear Meet Up.

Years ago, after Josh have given me a sort of crash course on Bear culture, I remember it dawning on me how cosmically unfair it was that we had similar man-guts (referring to the outside appearance of the stomach and NOT the gooey bits inside the body including the ACTUAL stomach), yet HIS was considered sexy by those whom HE would consider sexy. Of course moments later my brain recalibrated and remembered that as a straight, white male I was at the lowest difficulty setting and I should probably not envy the dude in a counterculture of an already oppressed counterculture. Still, to be able to eat Pop-Tart ice cream sandwiches for dinner and know that I was IMPROVING my sex appeal… there’s something magical about that.

I wrote a blog post about how my Patreon is going and when to expect the rewards I’m working on right now.

[Actually published on 04/10/14] Life has been kicking my ass a bit for the last couple of weeks. A week ago my family and I were huddled in a closet during a tornado warning (which touched down EXTREMELY near my house), then a hail storm smashed both of our cars to shit, and now it turns out it also claimed our roof, which needs to be replaced. THEN I drew this comic and my laptop died before I could export the final file. THEN my wife’s hard drive died. Nothing to really freak out over, but it’s been a trying week to say the least, and thus my comic productivity and patience have suffered. I’ll be playing catch up all weekend, and will do my very best to get three new comics up for the week of 4/14/14 and three MORE new comics up for the following week.

Then I’m going to Calgary Expo with Cyanide & Happiness!

OTHER THINGS TO KNOW: 

Speaking of Cyanide and Happiness, we have a new short up where I did some writing and play the dentist.

I did a guest comic for my friend Angela, because her husband drove a bicycle down a mountain the wrong way.

I wrote a blog post about how my Patreon is going and when to expect the rewards I’m working on right now.

[Actually published April 7th] Thank you, Fancy Bastards, for your patience. I’m playing catch up after a week of unexpected distractions. First their was a tornado/hail storm type of situation in my town. Luckily the tornado passed us over (just barely), but the hail storm gave our cars (and most likely our roof) a serious beating. So, after spending one night with my entire family in our master bedroom closet, we spent the next day talking to insurance companies, roofers and dent repair dudes. Then Kiddo got sick with a stomach bug, so now we’re on quarantine. It’s been a harrowing few days. Anyway, here’s a new comic. Another one will follow shortly (for “last week”), then (barring further tragedy) three more for “this week.”

As per my contract with the Patreon Patrons among you, I owe you three comics each week (nearly FOUR now!), some video blogs, some ebooks, and some hangouts starting this month. I plan to make good on all of those promises.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and maybe shirts.

COMMENTERS: Do you have an annual travel destination event that you have to attend? A convention, a conference, a sexcapade, a confluence of like-minded people?

My Patreon is at nearly $1200! That’s amazingly insane! 3 comics a week (M/W/F) starts for real on April 1st! At $1500, you will be forcing me to do FOUR HE comics a week, and I am OK (if not somewhat apprehensive) with that.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS! Emerald City Comicon is THIS WEEK! 

David and I will be at booth #1412 right next to Cyanide & Happiness! More info about the con AND MY AWESOME PANEL THA T YOU MUST ATTEND in THIS BLOG POST!

COMMENTERS: Where do you excel at ordering? For instance, the print/copy shop I use LOVES me because I know the different in a PDF and  jpg, and I know what print resolution is and how images can always be made smaller, but never larger and that wallet photo can not be blown up to a 10ft banner. Where are you the employee’s favorite customer and why?

My Patreon is at nearly $1200! That’s amazingly insane! 3 comics a week (M/W/F) starts for real on April 1st! At $1500, you will be forcing me to do FOUR HE comics a week, and I am OK (if not somewhat apprehensive) with that.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS! Emerald City Comicon is THIS WEEK! 

David and I will be at booth #1412 right next to Cyanide & Happiness! More info about the con AND MY AWESOME PANEL THA T YOU MUST ATTEND in THIS BLOG POST!

COMMENTERS: David isn’t a real grown up, so he doesn’t drink coffee. How do you start your morning? Coffee? Tea? Whatever liquor is still in your glass from the night before?

ECCC is my absolute favorite convention of the year, and it is SHOCKINGLY close to happening nowish. David and I will be at booth #1412 right next to Cyanide & Happiness! I will have the leftover DDDT prints, other prints, books, shirts, Wil Wheaton plushies and sketches.

I’ll be doing TWO PANELS: 

• “The Cyanide and Happiness Group Sketch Jam Panel” / Friday, March 28, 6:10pm, Hall B, (Rooms 608-609)
• “The Experiment: Making a Living Doing What you Love” / Saturday, March 29, 6:00pm, ROOM 3AB. THIS is the one I REEEEEEALLY need you to show up for. My first ever totally SOLO panel.

More panel info HERE. 

Seattle always takes AMAZING care of me, but for the uninitiated, offerings in the forms of tasty treats (cookies, cakes, Cadburry Creme Eggs, Starbucks Doubleshots [the tiny cans, NOT the energy drinks]) and tasty booze (DELICIOUS BOOZE) are always accepted and appreciated.

Tiny booze bottles will have their contents slipped stealthily into my drinks at restaurants, while larger bottles will have to contents shared with my cartoonist friends in various hotels rooms in your fair city.

NEWS NEWS NEWS!!!

HijiNKS ENSUE finally has a proper About/Characters page, and an Archive page that links to and explains the different types of comics I’ve made over the years. I’ve also updated the Support page.

My Patreon hit $750, so starting in April (the first month Patrons will be charged) HijiNKS ENSUE will have an official Monday/Wednesday/Friday update schedule and THEN it went past $1000 so every month I will do TWO HijiNKS Hangouts, where me and my awesome cartoonist/creator/maker/professional awesome person friends will hang out with you live via Google+, answer questions, tell stories, draw dicks, etc. It will be a lot like my ComfyCon Panel.

At $1500, you will be forcing me to do FOUR HE comics a week, and I am OK with that.

SEATTLE FANCY BASTARDS! Emerald City Comicon is in 2ish weeks! 

David and I will be at booth #1412 [MAP] right next to Cyanide & Happiness! I will have the leftover DDDT prints, other prints, books, shirts and sketches.

I’ll be doing TWO PANELS: 

“The Cyanide and Happiness Group Sketch Jam Panel” / Friday, March 28, 6:10pm, Hall B, (Rooms 608-609)
“The Experiment: Making a Living Doing What you Love” / Saturday, March 29, 6:00pm, ROOM 3AB.

More panel info HERE. 

Also, make sure to follow the 6 comic guest arch Joel (“Comic Joel,” that is) will is doing over at Woody After Hours starting HERE.

 
COMMENTERS: Did you ever meet someone as a kid, or hear someone speak as a teen, or interact with a particular person in any way that made you say, “THAT. That is what I want to be.” Hearing Niel deGrasse Tyson talk on Cosmos (seriously, watch this show with your kids) about his encounter with Carl Sagan at 17, and how it shaped not only WHAT he wanted to become, but THE KIND OF PERSON he wanted to be really got me thinking about this.

Check out these things: My Store, The Sharksplode Store, My Wife’s Geeky Jewelry Etsy Shop.

Speaking of supporting HijiNKS ENSUE, I’ve had some very interesting and exciting talks with the guys at Patreon (you might have seen the Google Hangout I did with Jack Conte where he talked all about it), and I’m hoping to have some news for you Monday of next week.

This begins a subplot of the current storyline that very closely resembles real life events. For a while in first grade my daughter was finishing her work too fast and getting bored at school. The teacher suggested she take on some independent projects where she study a subject that interested her and present her findings to the class. She was all freaking over this idea. The first one was about dolphins.  For her second project she decided to learn about her favorite planet, Saturn. I mentioned this on twitter and a bemohawked friend of mine offered to provide some insider info on the subject straight from the spacehorse’s mouth. She had, and continues to have no idea how cool this is. The project is coming along nicely and she’s almost ready to present it to her class. Having a curious kid is pretty rad.

As soon as my daughter realized she could see her own face in the preview window when we Facetime’d, it was all over. I get maybe a half an answer to, “What did you do at school today?” before she just starts mugging for herself and making animal sounds. Eventually I stopped fighting it and realized if I wanted quality time with my kid while I was on the road, THIS was going to be it.

One of the hardest things about traveling for conventions is leaving my family behind. Skype and Facetime make it somewhat easier, but it’s still a drag. I have some friends famous/popular enough to get invited out to conventions as guests and since most if not all of their costs are covered, they often get to bring their families. I think when Kiddo is a bit older, I’d like to take her to a summer convention. Let her see the weirdness of her daddy’s job first hand. Maybe she can run my credit cards for me or grab the right sized t-shirts. Or maybe she can stand in line for 6 hours to get me a $45 hotdog while I stand in a different line for 6 hours to get a $45 coffee. Perhaps I’ll just put up a sign that says, “Cute kid will draw you a picture for $10.” It would probably be the most profitable con I ever did.

Harry Potter fans: Check out my wife’s new Wizard Duel necklace! She’s also got a Kissing Pacman necklace and Game Of Thrones house necklaces for House Targaryen, House Stark and House Lannister.

COMMENTERS: Has Skype/Facetime/Video chat/etc changed your life at all? Do you have any particularly clever uses for it? Sometimes I get my cartoonists friends on Skype and just leave it running while we’re both working. It’s almost like having a co-worker. Weird.

Harry Potter fans: Check out my wife’s new Wizard Duel necklace! She’s also got a Kissing Pacman necklace and Game Of Thrones house necklaces for House Targaryen, House Stark and House Lannister.

Having a small child is like having an iPod with a very short playlist. Like 3 items are on this list AT MOST for MONTHS at a time. Also, that little repeat loopy arrow button is checked. It’s checked as hell. There are weeks when you would kill for all 3 items to be in random rotation on the playlist, but instead it’s just the 1 and the iPod has nearly infinite batteries and is able to achieve optimum volume at all times. For several months now, the Frozen soundtrack has been the ONLY item on the playlist that is a metaphor that is my human daughter child.

Luckily, the Frozen soundtrack is something I enjoy (in relative moderation… as I have recently learned). My daughter’s singing is also something that I enjoy. My daughter enjoying things and expressing her enjoyment of those things is ALSO something I enjoy. This confluence of enjoyable things sounds like it would leave me in a state of pure elation at all waking hours of the day. That is… often not the case.

The honesty in the comic above is that just when I think I can’t take any more of her belting “For The First Time In Forever” it loops back around from earsplitting and annoying to incredibly cute and heart warming. Regardless of where I happen to fall on the curve at any given time, I make sure to tell Kiddo that I like her singing. Luckily she seems to have inherited the old man’s sense of pitch, so her singing is LOUD but in tune. Another thing I’ve noticed is that she’s inherited my gift/curse for voice mimicry. I cannot sing a song without doing the original artists inflections, accents, tone, etc. She appears to be the same way, and it honestly makes me super proud. Not that this is some amazing gift, but just that it further illustrates that pieces of me are alive and running around inside of her brain.

COMMENTERS: What do you kids have on repeat ad infinitum? What did you have on repeat as a kid?

Bro, do you even Frozen? I’m really getting sick of all these “Fake Frozen Kids” wearing all the Frozen shirts and buying up all the Frozen dolls and dressing up in Elsa costumes and POSING like real diehard Frozeholes Brozen* (what REAL, ADULT Frozen fans call ourselves) and just clogging up the genuine fandom with their poser bullshit.

CONVENTION TIME! Emerald City Comicon in Seattle (March 28-30, 2014) with David Willis in the webcomics section right next to Cyanide & Happiness.

My first ever solo ECCC panel: It will be all about The Experiment and I need BUTTS IN SEATS! SEATBUTTS! You GOTTA COME to this panel. I am also doing a live drawing panel with my Cyanide & Happiness friends. More info on both panels HERE. 

My wife made a Kissing Pacman and Ms. Pacman necklace. Also available in double Pacmens or Pacladies configurations. She’s also updated her Game Of Thrones house necklaces to include House Targaryen (in addition to House Stark and House Lannister).

COMMENTERS: What “thing(s) made for kids” do you genuinely enjoy more than adults are meant to? 

[*Thank you, David, for reminding me.]

My first ever art collaboration with my daughter is here! The “Daddy/Daughter Digital Drawing Time” print is signed by both of us, numbered and limited to 100 pieces. [More details HERE.]

All proceeds are going to pay an unexpected IRS tax bill. Your support and help are greatly appreciated, plus you get a pretty sweet piece of art for your wall. Hate art? Hate walls? Donations are also incredibly appreciated, if that’s more your style.

COMMENTERS: Kiddo and I have had this conversation MULTIPLE times. It was especially bad when she was younger and I had just started doing conventions. Did your parents ever go somewhere super cool and leave you behind because they were just trying to remember what it was like to be people, the people they were before you dominated their existence? Have you ever done this to your kids?

ANOTHER THING: I did  THIS and THIS and then David did THIS.

Comments (49)

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Liam · 78 weeks ago

I must have been about four when my parents went to Disney World, is that the Florida one, without me and my sister.

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@changa · 78 weeks ago

Waa?
Disney World is for people with kids, and losers.
Why choose to be the second if you’re already the first?
I do plenty of things without my kids, but never long-distance or kid friendly things, because that just makes no sense to me.

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2 replies · active 76 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 78 weeks ago

I love Disney World. We had our honeymoon there. Your generalizations are for losers.

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Stonemaven · 76 weeks ago

Objection. Disneyland/world is also for gay guys and couples! I know because my dear friend and his boyfriend go several times a year. Lucky bitches.

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Bill· 78 weeks ago

Comic Joel is a dick. Wil Wheaton would not approve.

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1 reply · active 78 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 78 weeks ago

Comic Joel is playfully facetious.

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Rob · 78 weeks ago

When I was 10 my parents left my sister and I with my grandparents and went to Hawaii. In return when my 3 kids were 5, 3, and 1 my wife and I left them with my parents and went to Hawii. I guess what goes around, comes around.

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2 replies · active 77 weeks ago

seriously · 78 weeks ago

Only if you remembered to properly sugar up your kids first along with express instructions to drive your folks as close to crazy as they can without getting themselves killed or sold off to gypsies.

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SageBrushFnord · 77 weeks ago

Don’t forget the caffeine! Two cups of coffee 30 minutes before drop-off, and a couple boxes of 5-hour energy stashed among their gear.

NOBODY SLEEPS!

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Dean · 78 weeks ago

Punch some airholes in the shipping box, she’ll be fine. Kids are resilient at that age.

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manbeardman · 78 weeks ago

my dad is a huge trek fan which must be genetic cause i am too there was a comic store down the street when i was 7 and he would go from time to time to get models i wasnt allowed to go because he figured i would spaz out when i saw the professionally built models and all the toys when i was 10 i finally got to go and true i did completely spaz out but i also had some money ( was my bday ) and was broke when i left

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Bruceski · 78 weeks ago

My dad worked at a big laboratory and traveled a lot to other ones. It wasn’t a constant desire, but I remember wanting to go along and see what places like Livermore were like, how they compared to the place I knew.

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5 replies · active 78 weeks ago

Bruceski · 78 weeks ago

You know, I’m an adult and have a car now. I don’t know if the lab there has any visitor info sorts of places that don’t need a clearance but I could easily drive down there some time and look around.

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Rob · 78 weeks ago

If your talking about Livermore Laboratory, they sure do. My son and went down last summer and toured the laser facilities. It was engineering geek heaven.

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Bruceski · 78 weeks ago

Neat! I’ll add it to my to-do list. Los Alamos laboratory really locked down in the last 10 years so it’s good to know Livermore has stuff open.

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lou · 78 weeks ago

Man, I LIVE near there and I can’t get in. The website says I need to make a reservation months in advance.

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Bruceski · 78 weeks ago

Just checking, you mean LA? Livermore says 2 weeks notice for their tours.

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lou · 78 weeks ago

In 1989, guess where my parents went after dropping off me and my brother with the grandparents (can’t recall which set)? Berlin, to help Tear Down The Wall (Pink Floyd reference!) and they brought home a few pieces of it, too!

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1 reply · active 76 weeks ago

LMcCJ· 76 weeks ago

That is the best reason I have ever heard!

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bubujin_2 · 78 weeks ago

It was a few years after my folks brought their fourth child into the family that they probably decided they needed to escape the madness and reconnect adult to adult in Boston–for an entire week of our spring break. Being only 10 or 11 at the time, my asked or imposed on one of his married grad students to tend to us. Can’t recall any desire on my part to want to tag along, and we all survived the ordeal.

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@kellyskritters · 78 weeks ago

1977 my mother went to Vegas to see Elvis, I was 7.

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Allen · 78 weeks ago

I have no idea who watches The Mentalist either. I prefer Psych for all my fake psychic detective needs

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5 replies · active 76 weeks ago

Bruceski · 78 weeks ago

Wait, the guy in Psych is fake?

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gabepuratekuta· 78 weeks ago

Same here

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Jingy · 77 weeks ago

I’ve had not just one, but 3 different people I know try to get me to start watching the Mentalist.

None of the 3 exactly share my tastes, so I’ve still yet to see even a single episode. But I guess THEY are why the CBS is still making it… SO yeah, blame my family and ex-GF for it’s continued existence.

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Kirby · 77 weeks ago

I did when it was its turn on TNT’s cycle.

And by Cycle, I mean they show just about nothing but that same show most of the day, every week day. Then, they slowly start to fade it out for a new show by making it share the day with a different show, and then the different show takes over.

It is currently Castle’s turn on the cycle.

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Stonemaven · 76 weeks ago

The Netfilx paradigm. Watch All The Eps. Detox. Repeat.

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TemplarKnight · 78 weeks ago

Am I the only one seeing that “This” and “This” seem to lead to the same video?

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2 replies · active 78 weeks ago

Dave · 78 weeks ago

Yep, David’s post too. They link to the same URL. Is instagram screwing with someone?

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hijinksensue· 78 weeks ago

FIXED:
http://instagram.com/p/iBAHAnNcQe/

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Steve · 78 weeks ago

Perhaps, when things go better, you may want to hire your daughter as a con assistant. Helping carry and suchlike. You can actually put her on salary and deduct it, and the relevant expenses, from the taxes. Commonly done, but do talk to your accountant.

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@efin98 · 78 weeks ago

Wait a minute- did your daughter get glasses?

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1 reply · active 78 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 78 weeks ago

Shes always had glasses but because they were black it wasnt obvious.

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lou · 78 weeks ago

Joel, I have a question you raised in the previous strip with that comment about “the one true Batman”: were you referring to different versions of Batman across different media, or like when the title of “Batman” is used by someone other than Bruce Wayne, like Terry McGuiness (Batman Beyond) or Richard Grayson (Grant Morrison’s Batman & Robin and Batman, Inc.)? Also, what’s your take on superheroes switching identities, like when Bucky Barnes ascended to the name Captain America?

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1 reply · active 77 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 77 weeks ago

Both, actually, specifically with regards to Batman. The character has been presented in SO MANY DIFFERENT movies, TV shows, cartoon series, comic incarnations, action figures, etc. that “my Batman” and “your Batman” could be entirely different characters with entirely different histories. I use the DCAU as a common point of reference since most geeks my age grew up with it and have a familiarity with the continuity and supporting characters.

It’s hard to have a strong negative opinion on Cap and Spider-Man and whoever else switching identities when it pertains to a character that’s been around 40+ years. They’re just looking for ways to keep new readers coming to the books and the “Hey, the old guy is dead and now it’s a new guy!” routine is just one of their go-tos.

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seriously · 78 weeks ago

The face on your daughter in panel two…I know that face, I’ve caused that face before.

That is the face all women instinctively put on when you’re about ten seconds away from being bitched out for something stupid/insensitive you’ve done or said. The last time I saw that face it was from my niece who I gave a lift to school one day.

Turns out she didn’t think it was funny when you recount a “hilarious” story about the time she sharted herself waiting in line at Disney World.

Who knew?

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Kiki · 78 weeks ago

Does your daughter take commissions? I collect octopus art and hang it in my studio, and I’d love to have a piece made by her that I can hang it next to the Josh vs. Jedi Octopus piece you drew me at ECCC a few years back.

Let me know girlpirate@gmail.com

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1 reply · active 77 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 77 weeks ago

I imagine she would appreciate the opportunity.

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Tiffany · 77 weeks ago

my mom went to Hawaii without me. I went on a honeymoon cruise without my daughter & my step kids. occasionally if their grades aren’t good they don’t get to miss school for out of state renaissance fairs or sca wars. But mostly they’re included. they are always included, unless custody agreements or bad grades dictate otherwise. so they go to comic con, & rent fair. star trek lan parties & midnight movies. in return have a family happy wear matching TOS pjs.

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Greg · 77 weeks ago

A former boss of mine wanted to teach his unruly kids a lesson. He set up a trip to Disney World, suitcases on the roof etc and headed off with the family. He told his kids in the back no squabbling or he’d turn the car around and cancel the holiday. About 30 minutes in the squabbling started so he turned the car around. He knew full well this would happen so he didn’t even bother buying tix or even filling the tank up.

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mist · 76 weeks ago

We got dragged around the martial arts competitions (Dad was a competitor or judge) and he rep’ed for NZ one year and did a whirlwind world tour (including US Disney) but we couldn’t afford for the whole family to go. Still very proud of his accomplishment, he even got a trophy handed to him by the Japanese Emperor.

Most of the time we simply couldn’t afford to go anywhere, as all the money went back into the business, and when we were younger parents kept saying we were to young to really appreciate it anyway.

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FanGirl · 76 weeks ago

Joel, I’m a big fan, I love the strip, I’ve been reading for years.

But, I just have to ask, are you ever going to post new content on a regular basis again? For a while now, you’ve been posting maybe once a week, and I think there were only 3 new strips in December! It just strikes me as a little presumptive of you to ask your readers for donations to support your work when you aren’t really providing us with any content. I don’t mean to be rude, I genuinely just want more to read!

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3 replies · active 76 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 76 weeks ago

This type of question is better handled via email, but yes I have big plans for 2014. I’ve been taking some time to finish up overdue commitments from 2013 and haven’t made any official announcements because I haven’t really had a grasp on how long these things would take me to complete until now. You should expect new comics, a lot more comics and expect them a lot more often starting next week. I do not think you are trying to be rude, but please understand my position. I am not forcing anyone to support me in any way. I am asking. If you’re answer is “yes,” then I appreciate your support. If your answer is “no,” then we don’t really need to discuss your reasons. Another thing to consider is sometime real life gets in the way of making internet comics. Sometimes people have to take a little time off from their job. Sometimes this is around the holidays, and sometimes they don’t announce to the whole world their reasons for doing this. I am not offended by your comments, and I probably should have said something public sooner, but I needed a break. I needed time to wrap my head around where HE goes from here and I needed to spend some time with my family.

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FanGirl · 76 weeks ago

Hey again! Thanks for the reply. You are absolutely right, and you certainly don’t owe me an explanation! I was just being nosey.
I’m looking forward to whatever you have coming next! Take care.

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Imaria· 76 weeks ago

The internet is the clingiest of all relationships; one or two nights without a bedtime phonecall telling us “I wuv you”, and we get all freaked out and assume the whole relationship is a lie.

…how the hell did you manage to turn us into a business model?!

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moffattbooks· 76 weeks ago

He lives!! actually we figured the holidays would be time off for you. I work retail so I just had average random days off while the the rest of North America played.

actually I’m surprised you didn’t make a strip here or there centering around jaded Christmas as an adult or watching the ball drop instead of sleeping lol

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S58 · 75 weeks ago

I’m not really liking the direction the comic has taken, though I respect your decision I’m afraid that I’ll cease to read it frequently.

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1 reply · active 70 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 75 weeks ago

Why would you post this? What’s the point? Can I use this information? Can it serve any purpose other than to make me feel bad? Just a heads up: NO CREATOR EVER NEEDS TO HEAR THAT YOU’RE DONE, YOU’RE UNFOLLOWING, YOUR UNFRIENDING, YOU’RE NOT READING/LISTENING/DOWNLOADING/ETC/WHATEVER. NEVER. Just never do this again and everyone who could every possibly be involved will be happier and better off.

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comicguy · 75 weeks ago

Great comic!!! Aw… thats cute a little georgia okeefe

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As you determine where to spend your hard earned monies this holiday season, might I suggest these fine establishments?

• The HijiNKS ENSUE Store: Books, Prints, Posters, T-Shirts and more by yours truly!
• Sharksplode: Geeky T-Shirts by me and Wil Wheaton, made to order!
• Science & Fiction: My wife’s Etsy shop full of fantastically geeky jewelry!
• Emily Watson Photography: Give a loved one a beautifully restored photo to remind them of how live used to not be so burned, torn and sepia toned.

If you want to support HijiNKS ENSUE for the holidays, but hate capitalism then perhaps you would enjoy GIVING A DONATION or purchasing sometime on my Amazon Wishlist? All of those ideas sound terrible? Then how about a digital highfive via Twitter or email?

STILL WAITING ON A FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH?: I am still plowing through them. You will have yours in the calendar year of 2013. This I vow! If yours was a time sensitive gift for someone, please email me right away and I will move you to the front of the line.

I’m still recovering/playing catch up from Webcomic Rampage, which was this weekend in Austin, TX [Hence the temporary sketchyness of the comic above. Though it seems a non-zero number of your enjoy the pencils better than the inks/colors. Bunch’a weirdos.]

UPDATE: Inks and colors are done, but you can still see the sketchy version on my Tumblr.

This comic is somewhat inspired by a story I wrote on my Tumblr earlier this year about a father and son I saw at San Diego Comicon. I feel like any self proclaimed geek would do well to adopt “We’re having so much fun, and EVERYONE is invited,” as a personal motto. Better to be a geek ambassador than a geek gatekeeper.

We came home Monday night to the aftermath of DALLAS ICEFUCK 2013. Kiddo thought it was snow that had completely entombed our home, cars, yard, cats, etc. and wanted to go play in it. My initial reaction was, “No, it’s just ice and there’s no way to play on ice without hurting yourself,” to which my wife offered the counterpoint, “Eh, fuck it. Let her go have fun.” She did a bit of running and sliding on her knees, and a bit of falling over on her head just to pop up a quick “thumbs up” to let us know the injuries weren’t fatal. She threw chunk of ice at our fence and watched them explode into powdery crystal puffs with a very satisfying “PFATT!” sound. She stomped holes in the ice that covered the ground to reveal the grass underneath and pried large ice chunks off her swing set then piled them high wherever she saw fit. She frolicked (this is the most literal and perfect demonstration of what it means to FROLIC that I have ever witnessed) for a good hour before bed. She was grinning and laughing and completely enthralled in the simple act of running around and falling down in the ice and I almost deprived her of that joy because it seemed messy or slightly dangerous. I want to learn how to adopt, “Eh, fuck it. Let her have fun,” as more of a mantra in the coming year.

COMMENTERS: As a child or a parent has the  idea of  “Eh, fuck it. Let ’em have fun,” every led to any long lasting memories… or injuries?

Comments (32)

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@GeeksComicStrip · 79 weeks ago

That is so awesome, in so many ways. This is why your new direction is the perfect way to go. You prove that no one needs to rely on pop culture references as a crutch for their comics. Just let the story unfold, and everything flows perfectly.

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ThePhysicist · 79 weeks ago

When my now-14yr-old twin boys were 4, they each took a side of a chocolate cake pan and snuck it to their bedroom. I found them nestled on the bottom bunk, elbow-deep in chocolatey goodness and wide-eyed at having been caught. Couldn’t get more than a few words into my best “no-no” speech before breaking. I wiped the laugh-tears from my eyes, climbed in beside them, and grabbed a fistful of cake.

p.s. Shout out from Carrollton. Proud to that you’re local! -Chas

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3 replies · active 79 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 79 weeks ago

Hah! I used to live in Carrollton right behind that big green belt next to target.

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Richter12x2 · 79 weeks ago

I used to live in the other apartment complex, just a little further down on the opposite side of the road – not the one with the fountain, but the one where the police used to like to sit and catch speeders.

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hijinksensue· 79 weeks ago

I was actually in an old neighborhood, not an apartment. We were the youngest people on the street by like 25 years.

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skorpeyon· 79 weeks ago

I completely agree with the alt text. That, to me, is the only Batman.

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FSilvermane · 79 weeks ago

I was like 9 and we went to GA to see my Grandparents. It was the year they had like 5 inches in Savannah, GA. I had never been in snow so when it snowed overnight I wanted to go out and explore. Grandma was dead set against it since their house was a 100 year old structure and all the furniture in it except the TV room and soem appliances int he kitchen was antique. Grandpa [the Sicilian]looked at her smiled and said “Feh,… let him have fun,.. whats the worse that can happen”. I immediately ran outside to explore,..Grandpa put on a coat and sat on the porch to watch me. All was well for about an hr till I waled into the field next to the house, forgot the ditch was like 8 feet deep and stepped off into thin air [the grass was cut at same level as the field and snow had covered it all]. I was unhurt but found a whole new fun place under the arch of snow covered grass.

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aeronmichaelangelo· 79 weeks ago

You keep making these beautiful half-finished comics and I’m going to start demanding a geeky Take On Me music video.

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FuryOfFirestorm· 79 weeks ago

You are on a roll here with your comic, Joel. Can I live with you guys so I can be surrounded by the awesome 24/7? I’ll just basically be like the Ben Grimm of the family, except I have better skin (but my dick is also orange and bumpy).

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2 replies · active 79 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 79 weeks ago

I was cleaning out the guest room until that last sentence.

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seriously · 79 weeks ago

@ furyoffirestorm78

Either stop eating Cheetos, or wash your hands better before masturbating.

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Wesley · 79 weeks ago

We used to jump off a rooftop into a (concrete) sand box for fun, inspired by a “no smoking”-campaign that was intended to warn against the effects of smoking rather than promote jumping off rooftops. One time I was feeling insecure about my jump – we were doing some silly pitching game and our material had run out and I had to go and get it below – and after a slight hesitation decided to take the jump anyway.

I slipped and instead of jumping into the sandbox, fell onto the concrete border on the first week of the summer holidays. I spent the rest of that summer recuperating from several sprains that left me unable to walk decently for a while.

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danwcole· 79 weeks ago

Unrelated to the comment-theme established – Kid needs to be protected from the Bloodwolves, man! The BLOODWOLVES! MAAAAN!

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@Tedhealey · 79 weeks ago

Without any prior swimming lessons, at the age of 6 and upwards, my parents would let me play in a lake (A full fledged LAKE) without supervision.

Weirdly enough to this day I don’t know how to swim. But I can dog paddle wearing rubber boots.

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locixloci· 79 weeks ago

One of your finest, dude.

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bubujin_2 · 79 weeks ago

Being a guy who has raised two boys with a high level of play in anything they do, everything has pretty much been “oh f–k it, let ’em have fun.” Fortunately nothing’s been so wild that it ever resulted in a season-ending injury.

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@davidma7685 · 79 weeks ago

Think she did that on purpose so she could go. lol

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grneyedgoddess · 79 weeks ago

One year – when my kids were 6 and 7 – it snowed just after they had fallen asleep. We were packing for a move and I was sad because we were leaving a great yard and the snow would be gone by the time they got up. My husband found an old package of sparklers and we both looked at each other, then at the kids door. We jumped up, woke the kids, wrapped them in robes and boots, and took them outside to play with sparklers in the snow. It was one of our best decisions ever. They still remember it (at 17 and 18) and we have some wonderful photos that we will always treasure.

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GallopingConch· 79 weeks ago

I love literally everything about this strip Joel.

YOU’RE GIVING ME FEEL-THINGS

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tomspeelman· 79 weeks ago

I’ve had it where I’ve put off studying to goof around with friends. It’s helped a lot sometimes.

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Paul · 79 weeks ago

Two words that anyone who grew up during the 80s/90s in NYC suburbs of NY/NJ/PA/CT know that relate to this: Traction Park

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1 reply · active 79 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 79 weeks ago

Hah! I watched the trailer for that doc recently. Seems terrifying.

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@efin98 · 79 weeks ago

Sliding on thin patches of ice on the sidewalk with well worn shoes and running fast.There were four of us kids so our parents just said the heck with it, if we didn’t get the picture that you will hurt yourself after seeing your siblings fall down on their butts multiple times and whine in pain then it’s your own darn fault. I still have the scar on my head from tripping and sliding into a cinderblock wall…

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Debs · 79 weeks ago

My dad was the king of “ah F it, let them have fun.” He was the inventor of tackle red light, green light, the game that never ended without tears. He let us ride on the bumper of the truck on our dirt road until I fell off the bumper and tore up my elbow. The greatest thing he ever configured for fun was a fiberglass half pipe for skate boarding reinvented as a water slide. It was the greatest thing ever, but I think I still have fiberglass slivers in my thighs thirty years later.

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Fren · 79 weeks ago

I can only agree. Nerd/geek culture is the best culture because it’s INCLUSIVE. We’d never make fun of you for not knowing something! We’d just explain it to you … at length … verbosely … with footnotes.

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1 reply · active 79 weeks ago

jonathansills· 79 weeks ago

…and side digressions. And we’re not afraid of ellipses, either!

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Leigh · 79 weeks ago

I took my daughter to her first sdcc at about 3. we had to stop at all the booths with transformers. she’s 13 now, and spent most of the day in the anime film festival last con. we live in SD, so its our home con. I usually only get day passes and hit the exhibit floor, and hug all my friends. there are plenty of times when we’ve mixed up a batch of cookie dough, & eaten half or more raw. the time I let the two teenaged girls hike/float alone 2 miles down the big sur river is the one that left me worried. then they called from the campsite down river and asked for a ride back.

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Kat · 79 weeks ago

We didn’t have any hills to speak of where I grew up so my dad passed down a tradition from his. He hooked up a couple of sleds to the back of his pickup and pulled us up and down the street. My mom was horrified but let us go. After a couple of runs the other neighbor kids were at the end of their driveways holding sleds wearing their best puppy eyes. By the end there was a train of eight or nine sleds behind his truck.

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noteventhesameguy · 79 weeks ago

As I sit here in Denton watching MST3K with my eldest daughter before she goes back to her Pokemon Yellow game (we’ve already watched all the Netflix episodes of Doctor Who), I kinda love ya for posting these last few comics.

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mist · 78 weeks ago

pwn3d

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LMcCJ · 78 weeks ago

We always start with, “yes” then add conditions afterward. Walking into nursery school one day, there was a massive mud puddle. My daughter had a twinkle in her eyes and I said, “After school, not before.” I picked her up later and, with sufficient clearance from other , let her stomp away. She was filthy, my car seat got a little dirty but she was happy and the envy from the other students… It’s astounding how many parents won’t let their children jump in puddles.

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dancingotter72· 73 weeks ago

When my now 15 yo daughter was 3, we went camping with her best friend’s (also3) family. I had brought a large amount of finger paint for the girls to paint rocks. One the last day, we put the girls in my tent to play, while I helped her friend’s mother pack up her tent. All of a sudden, we realized the girls were being too quiet. (You know that feeling, I’m sure) We looked over and the girls had gotten out of the tent and into my bin with the paints. They had by this point open every paint container and emptied them by painting each other head to toe. My first reaction was to be upset, but the other mother’s first reaction was to laugh and grab her camera. Because of her reaction, I was able to see the humor in it and in future situations. I also have the most awesome picture of the two girls that I can torment them with forever!

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As you determine where to spend your hard earned monies this holiday season, might I suggest these fine establishments?

• The HijiNKS ENSUE Store: Books, Prints, Posters, T-Shirts and more by yours truly!
• Sharksplode: Geeky T-Shirts by me and Wil Wheaton, made to order!
• Science & Fiction: My wife’s Etsy shop full of fantastically geeky jewelry!
• Emily Watson Photography: Give a loved one a beautifully restored photo to remind them of how live used to not be so burned, torn and sepia toned.

If you want to support HijiNKS ENSUE for the holidays, but hate capitalism then perhaps you would enjoy GIVING A DONATION or purchasing sometime on my Amazon Wishlist? All of those ideas sound terrible? Then how about a digital highfive via Twitter or email?

WEBCOMIC RAMPAGE IS THIS WEEKEND IN AUSTIN, TX!!! [MORE INFO HERE] 

[Writing this on Friday 12/6/13: Due to a freak ice storm in Dallas, I had to move up my travel plans to go to Austin by a day and in the process lost two days of drawing time. Please enjoy this rough sketch version of the comic. I’ll ink and color it this weekend and re-upload]

[Update 12/7/13: Hey, it’s the finished comic! Super-refresh real hard if you don’t see it. The sketchy version is saved over on my Tumblr.]

My wife and I took our daughter to her first convention (in costume as Raven from Teen Titans) a few weeks back. It was important to me that she see the insane shrine to creativity and capitalism that pulls me away a dozen or so times a year first hand. I didn’t like that she knew I went away for 4 or 5 days a month to something called a “convention” but really had no concept of what that meant. It was a spectacle and certainly too much for her to take in (“MAN! My Little Pony is REALLY popular here!” she commented.), but at least now she can picture in her head the nerd Bacchanalia that I am consumed by when I’m away.

COMMENTERS: Can you remember a time as a child when you were brought to a place or event and simply awestruck by the size, grandeur, insanity or horror of it all? Did you ever go back as an adult? How did it compare?

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josh· 80 weeks ago

Oh yeah, all the time, the event was called “church” and we went all the time when I was a kid but then when I grew up and went back it was just really, really creepy.

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3 replies · active 79 weeks ago

sicklittlemonky· 80 weeks ago

Aw man, you beat me to it! We were Jehovah’s Witnesses when I was a kid, so we went to church 3 or 4 times a week, plus these giant conventions a couple of times a year! It felt like a punishment, and the level of commitment people had just blew my young mind. I stopped going as soon as I moved out on my own, but I went back a few years later for a memorial service, and it was just… weird. I discovered I am not the church type, to say the least!

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Bruceski · 79 weeks ago

The synagogue I grew up in was all about community and basically a social thing, so now that I’ve grown up and moved and such going to services feels really weird. They may be awesome people but they’re not MY community, and it’s hard to shake that expectation even when you know it’s silly.

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GallopingConch· 79 weeks ago

Am I the only one who still goes to church by choice?

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@negativezach · 80 weeks ago

We went to Vegas one year when I was a kid. My parents won holiday concert tickets. We watched all the cool free shows like the pirate battle at treasure island and statues at Caesar’s Palace. We also went and had dinner at the Excalibur and watched jousting. I thought is was really cool, but going back as an adult (who doesn’t care much for gambling or strippers) I was disappointed (by all the gambling and strippers) Se La Vi`.-Zach

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Lurkie · 80 weeks ago

Vegas is a good one, we went there every xmas when i was a kid – Gramma liked the penny slots. But the first thing that popped into my head was DismalLand. You know, the Tragic Kingdom? Loved it as a kid, now my kids love it and I hate it. Too crowded, too expensive. Plus, my brain doesn’t like being rattled around inside my skull by rollercoasters anymore now that I’m old. (Does 43 years qualify me to be yelling “Get off my lawn!”?)

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lou · 80 weeks ago

When I was a lad, I think of 10, my dad took me and my brother to this car show at the Cow Palace in San Francisco. So many weird looking cars! All shiny and new and totally-never-been used on the road. But the real treat was getting to meet none other than Ed “Big Daddy” Roth! He drew us a Ratfink on a shirt we still have (framed of course), and yes, he was wearing the hat!

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Josh · 80 weeks ago

You should save the sketch version! While the finished products look great, it is fascinating to see “how it’s made”. Keep up the great work!

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TJ “Kiltman”Anderson · 80 weeks ago

Reminds me of when I was a kid and dad took me to drag racing and monster truck / tractor pulls.. didn’t realize then what a bunch of <insert stereotypical cliche of your choice here> it was full of.. did not wish to be associated with/by them

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bubujin_2 · 80 weeks ago

Probably going to Disney World (Florida) as a not-too-youngish kid on a summer family vacation, then going to Disney Land (California) when in college (perhaps twice, once without family), and a couple of times to Tokyo Disney Land as an adult with kid/kids. Except for the lines and the schmaltz it’s always been a fun time, although enjoyed a little differently from a grownup’s perspective.

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Tricia · 80 weeks ago

Steampunk Fionna? Is this a thing?

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Siirenias · 80 weeks ago

I went to Star Trek cons at a very young age, but I wasn’t totally blown away by it. I had been going to rock concerts since before I can remember, and when events escape the edge of perception, it stretches your mind like nothing else. Or maybe it was the haze of pot, tobacco and heroin smoke.Also, cookies in stick form is something I miss. No hassle of fitting it in a mug of cocoa!

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Tony · 79 weeks ago

My uncle took me to GenCon the year before they moved from Milwaukee to Indianapolis. There was all sorts of sharp, geeky stuff, and there was sci-fi that wasn’t Star Wars or Star Trek (I was sheltered in Junior High in 2002…). I haven’t been to their shiny new city yet, but I want to, just as soon as I stop spending my summers unemployed with student loans hanging over me like a monthly trio of swords of Damocles…

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cookiesandmeme · 79 weeks ago

How DARE you invite people to remember ANYTHING about Attack of the Clones?!…This has really put a damper on our relationship, Joel.

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cookiesandmeme · 79 weeks ago

P.S. Your family might be the coolest family.

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Bruceski · 79 weeks ago

A couple of years after Jurassic Park came out (so I would have been 11-12 or so) dad ditched work and we ditched school to drive to Albuquerque for a technology expo. The keynote presentation was about the CG that went into JP (remember this was a Big Deal back when the movie came out) and it was absolutely worth the trip, but the rest of the expo was totally over my head. I could tell it was interesting stuff, but it was not interesting stuff aimed at being digested by kids.

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Daundelyon · 79 weeks ago

My parents took me to the local Renaissance festival the year it opened and I was immediately hooked on all things medieval and renaissance. Somehow though, I didn’t go back for almost seven years. When I did go back, it was to audition for a job.

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cbrichar · 79 weeks ago

The Vatican. Whether a card carrying member of the church or a dirty heathen like me, I defy anyone to step in and not be moved by the breathtaking artistry of the works and architecture therein, with the understanding that, somehow, *humans* made this.

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1 reply · active 79 weeks ago

@CX316 · 79 weeks ago

Amazing what you can achieve when you pour the majority of the cashflow of a continent into one city for several hundred years

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Jeff A · 78 weeks ago

When I was probably 8 or 9 and my Dad took me to Fenway Park for the first time. Walking up the ramp, coming up into the stands and seeing the whole stadium open up in front of me. Grandeur galore!

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Leigh · 77 weeks ago

a grateful dead concert at 14. It was at a football stadium in Vegas. I got a contact high and fell asleep on the lawn to drums and space. No one harassed the cute sleeping underage girl.

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Mister Jay · 79 weeks ago

I like these arcs. I keep waiting to see a strip where someone whose been too jaded by the abuses of decisions finally sees something that rekindles their faith to come back to geekdom and a welcoming arm is offered and someone says “Welcome home”. It’s beautiful. And also a very positive message your sending your daughter. Just prepare her for the few geeks that war over whose series is better. Not all of geekdom is love and friendship after all.

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My wife, Emily, will also be exhibiting with me and selling some of her geeky jewelry from her Etsy shop, Science & Fiction.

All the info is HERE, but this is the part you really need to know:

This year’s guest list features 16 awesome webcomic talents:

–Ryan North
–David Malki
–Alex Woolfson
–David McGuire
–Danielle Corsetto
–Joel Watson
–Randy Milholland
–Rob DenBlyker
–David Willis
–Lar De Souza
–EK Weaver
–Jeph Jacques
–Dusty  Smith
–JD Saxon
-Dan Price
-Bonn Adame
-Bill Williams

Dragon’s Lair Austin is hosting HijiNKS ENSUE, Something*Positive and Cyanide & Happiness at their booth this weekend as a special preview of December’s Webcomic Rampage event.

We’ll have books, shirts, prints, posters, plushies and sketches. Come by booth #938 Saturday and Sunday and say hi!

I’m returning to New York Comic Con for the first time since 2011. This will be a bit different than my typical con, where I’m exhibiting just as HijiNKS ENSUE. I’ve been sitting in with my Cyanide and Happiness friends doing sketches at conventions for several years, but now that I’m a writer and a voice actor on the Cyanide and Happiness show, we’ve made the “occasional sketch jam” a little more official.

SPEAKING OF ME AND EXPLOSM: Have you seen the new HijiNKS ENSUE Store?! I now have a signed prints, posters and books which is a thing I’ve never offered before.

I’ll be with them all weekend, doing sketches, talking about the show, signing stuff and generally making a mess of things AS WELL AS selling my own books, and shirts and commissioned sketches (that last one will only be when time allows, since their line is usually wrapped around the corner).

Come visit us at Booth 2247. I’ll have a Sharpie in hand and stick figure dick jokes on my mind.

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James · 88 weeks ago

“The difference between you and me is, I make this look good”

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podmaker · 87 weeks ago

I reserve the gorilla suit for weddings only.

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Fletcher · 86 weeks ago

Is there a specific reason he looks like the Evil Fox Exec? Is all this “continuity” just a set up for the greatest Evil Fox Exec comic ever? HOW FAR DOWN DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO JOEL????

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1 reply · active 86 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 86 weeks ago

Actually the Evil Fox Exec was made to look like an older, more evil version of Joel. Sort of like polar opposites, or two sides of the same argument.

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Wayne · 84 weeks ago

What I am more interested in knowing is, how does your wife feel about the beard? I’ve been active duty for almost 7 years now and wish I had the opportunity to grow my Ginger beard. Do you hide things in there? Snacks? Tools? Is it a Go Go Gadget Beer Beard? TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!

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Your eyes and your literacy do not deceive you! I will be at Fan Expo Canada in Toronto this weekend with Blind Ferret and Randy Milholland of of Something*Positive. I will be at booth #844 and I will have t-shirts, books, sketches, prints, Lil’ Wil plushies and… THE MYSTERY BOXXXXX!!!

Come by and buy stuff or say hi, or ‘eh or aboot or CTHULHU FHTAGAN or whatever you Torontoonians say. Remember (always remember and NEVER forget) that you have the option (NAY, THE RESPONSIBILITY!) to bring me tribute in the form of exotic boozes, confectionary treats, Starbucks Doubleshots (the ones in the tiny cans), or actual Starbucks Iced Soy Lattes in exchange for my favor. My favor may take the form of a free sketch, a handshake, a confused and confusing scowl or a series of fierce blows to the head and knees and maybe the ear canals.

UPDATE: OH CRAPSPASM I JUST REMEMBERED THE KOREAN BBQ PLACE IN TORONTO THAT SERVES UNLIMITED MEATS FOR LIKE $8 OK NOW I’M SUPER EXCITED!!!

ANOTHER THING! 

Check out these Tetris earrings my wife made! 

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EvilJorge · 95 weeks ago

I want a t-shirt or print of that picture, damnit.

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1 reply · active 95 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 95 weeks ago

Are you going to the con?

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Larry · 95 weeks ago

Tell me more about this Korean BBQ place, please! I’m going to be in Toronto the week after this con.

I’ll also suggest that, last time I was there, there were a bunch of decent and cheap sushi places on Eglinton between Yonge and Mt. Pleasant. Also, I suggest you try the amazing Jewish delicacy known as Smoked Meat. Caplansky’s near U of T and Centre Street Deli up in the burbs are both amazing, and different enough that it’s worth going to both if you want.

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hijinksensue· 95 weeks ago

http://www.koreangrillhouse.com/

It’s amazing. They just keep bringing you raw meat and you cook it in your table and it’s AMAZING. The more the cook the dirtier the grill gets with meat drippings so the longer you’re their cooking, the better the food tastes.

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Larry · 95 weeks ago

Thanks! I do love Korean BBQ. There’s one in Philly where the little old lady who brings the bulbogi et al to your table doesn’t really trust you to get it right unless you are asian, female, and over 50.

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@musicchan · 95 weeks ago

I am sad, can’t afford to go to the con this weekend. I’ll be puttering away at Michaels, doing my job instead.

Where’s this Korean BBQ place though? I’d like to check it out some time in the future.

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hijinksensue· 95 weeks ago

http://www.koreangrillhouse.com/

See my reply above.

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HeyZeusKreesto · 95 weeks ago

I feel kind of cheated with this comic. A week or so with no new comic, and this new one is basically an advertisement for something else I can’t afford. But I know this is not just a hobby for you, so you do what you gotta do. Also, I was thinking of buying a drawing from you if it’s still available when I get paid Friday. Is a zombie panda eating the HE crew too complicated?

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2 replies · active 95 weeks ago

HeyZeusKreesto · 95 weeks ago

Sorry, no edit button. To add to the end of my other post, I’ll most likely be including an extra $10 donation if that matters at all.

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hijinksensue· 95 weeks ago

Trying not to be too insulted by your initial comment, but if you feel you aren’t getting what you deserve from this situation then perhaps you should seek free entertainment elsewhere. If you want to buy a sketch that’s cool, but 4 characters will require more than a $10 donation. The guidelines are posted on the sketch drive page.

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njmckay· 95 weeks ago

I am SOOO looking forward to meeting you at Fan Expo this year! I missed you laster year as I was at the Star Wars Celebration Convention. My friend bought me your second book and i’ve been hooked ever since.

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1 reply · active 95 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 95 weeks ago

That’s great! Im glad you enjoyed the book.

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@shalahoyden · 95 weeks ago

Not to take away from the comic (cause it’s bloody fantastic and I very much wish that I had the opportunity to meet you!) but I do plan to buy that Tetris necklace and earrings as soon as I get a good enough paycheck! I may actually buy the earrings this week and the necklace (hopefully) soon thereafter. I call dibs!

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hijinksensue· 95 weeks ago

They’re made to order so they’ll be available when you’re ready. Thanks!

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By the time you see this comic, the conclusion to my five part series of SDCC predictions, the con will technically be over. I will likely be more cognizant and in good health than my illustrated adventures would suggest, but only just barely. I had a revelation about San Diego Comic-Con this year. In the years, months and weeks leading up to the show I posted some rather negative thoughts about the SDCC exhibitor experience. It’s too big, too poorly organized, too expensive, too not focused on comics… etc, etc. These things are all still true, but most of them are true (in some way) of most North American conventions. I finally realized that there are two contributing factors that make SDCC seem like such a monster by comparison. They are A) The 2 extra days and B) the 100,000 extra people.

Let me explain. Regarding A), most comic conventions are 3 days long, Friday through Sunday. Anime conventions are usually 4 days, but you can easily skip the first day as most anime kids are in school on Thursday. You can also skip the next day as well as the two following days, because most anime conventions are macabre pits of despair and torment. San Diego, on the other hand, is 5 days. 5 ACTUAL days. The show starts properly on Wednesday and there are 10’s of thousands of people there on Wednesday ready to go go go! That means you really need to be there on Tuesday to set up, if not first thing Wednesday morning. Even then, you still might be flying in on Tuesday and either way you’ve committed almost a solid week to this show. This is all compounded by the fact that due to its size and scope, one day at SDCC feels like 4 at any other show. By the time you crawl out of the airplane and back into your own bed, you’ve lost the mental, and emotional equivalent of at least a year. When you break it down, no 1 day of SDCC is that draining or even unpleasant at all. It’s the week that you lose that makes it feel that way.

Concerning B), there is no other comic type convention in the world where 100,000+ people attend the show (ie are walking around on the show floor), and an ADDITIONAL 100,000ish people are just IN SAN DIEGO for some reason. I mean people that don’t have show floor badges, but are still in town for parties, panels, offsite events and shmoozing. This means any time you try to pop outside for a quick lunch, you are immediately sucked up in a veritable sharknado of human beings. A humnado, if you will. The noise and congestion and chaos created by all of these additional bodies makes the streets outside of the convention extremely unwelcoming and tumultuous, especially if you aren’t a huge fan of crowds.

Add to both of these factors that the hotel lottery for SDCC is a fucking nightmare, and the airlines jack up their prices for all San Diego flights for that week and you’ve got a really fantastic, amazing, extremely special event that ends up feeling like a life-sucking, anarchistic struggle for survival. It really isn’t that, though. It’s the former. It’s quite the spectacle and something of a Mecca for geeks, nerds, fans and fun-havers. I’m going to strive to remind myself how lucky I am to get to do things like San Diego Comic-Con for MY ACTUAL JOB, and complain less about the minor inconveniences. I’m also going to stop suggesting people, fans and exhibitors alike, stay away from the show at all cost. It’s a worthy pilgrimage. Even if you only make it once, you should probably make it.

My friend Lar said (repeating something he’d heard during the con), “SDCC is like mowing your front lawn. If you enjoy it, you’re weird, but if you don’t do it for awhile people start to worry about you.” That’s incredibly right, but I am going to try and be more like the weird guy that enjoys it, instead of the guy I am now who probably wishes he could ignore it and make it go away. That said, please don’t hold me to any of this come late June next year.

When this week is over, would anyone be interested in a poster/print of all 5 days on one page?

COMMENTERS: What event/time of year do you both love and dread? 

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Writebastard· 99 weeks ago

Oh! Here first am I. So I’ll do my tumblr comment againe:

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE <HORK>

That is what it seems like to me.

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Writebastard· 99 weeks ago

Also I seem to have puked in the comment system as a matter of solidarity. My left arm is encased in some sort of well-articulated chromed and hot-glued foam-board which is very clever in terms of technique but is not actually a costume, as I have not left the house for four days.

Am I robot?

There is beer.

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Josh · 99 weeks ago

There is a certain group of family members that I tend to dread seeing around holidays. It may not be the same thing as an event you were asking about of course, but my cousins literally have an Uncle Stepdad. So…that.

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Mitch H. · 99 weeks ago

Uh, dude, Comiket started cracking 500k in the middle Oughts. Admittedly, Comiket is pretty stripped-down and could arguably be better-described as a truly enormous artist’s alley rather than a traditional convention, but still – 560,000 bodies, all passing through one, admittedly enormous, convention center. And they do it twice a year.

SDCC is probably the event that mostly closely corresponds to Comiket, but we’re still talking about something five times the size of SDCC.

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3 replies · active 98 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Pretty sure I mentioned North American cons as the focus of my essay.

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bowtiesarecool · 99 weeks ago

I can’t imagine a worse place to be for an non-Japanese speaker…

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Lily · 98 weeks ago

Not to mention all that stuff he specifically mentioned about the EXTRA PEOPLE IN TOWN FOR TANGENTIALLY-RELATED CRAP, which Comike (and Japan Expo) don’t do.

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Jaydit Skiabe · 99 weeks ago

Well so far ComicCon IS the time of year I love/dread, because I’m never able to go, so all I get are awesome pictures and stories and a deeply seated longing to subject my own self to such abuses of excess.

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Courtney · 99 weeks ago

And people wonder why I love going to Dragon*Con. Not nearly as crowded and just as much fun! If not more!

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@theelkmechanic · 99 weeks ago

Love and dread? October through Christmas, because Halloween and pies at Thanksgiving and, hey, Christmas, but mall parking lots become stress-inducing nightmare zombie mobs, yet my wife insists on bringing me for my uncanny ability to get the closest parking space to the door.

Oh, and “nacho cheese remnants and hot dog water” almost made me lose my breakfast.

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@borednihilist · 99 weeks ago

I’ve never been to any con, much less Comic-Con, but I’m not sure I could handle the stress of such large crowds. Hell, waiting in the lunch line back in high school annoyed me, so I can’t imagine waiting in lines for any of the panels. But I do enjoy much of the nerdy news that comes from SDCC, and the cosplay pics all the geeky sites feature. That said, if I were to ever attend a con, it would probably be a smaller one, so it would be easier to navigate and I’d be better able to meet the people I’m interested in meeting – i.e. the artists of all the various types of comics I read! Is there a con that Joel, Ryan North, Zach Weiner, and Jeph Jacques all go to? That’s the con I’d want to visit.

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

ECCC in Seattle is the one you want to go to.

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Dave · 99 weeks ago

Thanks Joel, It’s nice to get a fresh take on the whole thing. I’ve always thought that people that truly truly hated the SDCC experience have a bit of an obligation to the hundreds of folks on the waiting list to maybe step aside and let someone else have their shot. I mean Matt Inman of the Oatmeal can raise nearly a million dollars for a Tesla museum but he has to beg (so far unsuccessfully) to share space at the con. It’s nuts. So thanks!

For the rest of you folks, here are some tips from an old SDCC vet.

1. Don’t stay in a downtown hotel. Those are for people who are determined to get into Hall H. Those people are crazy. The hotels know this. They know that if you’re willing to get up at 3 AM to get in line you’re willing to pay insane hotel fees to do so. That said, as Joel found out, San Diego doesn’t really have a taxi service you can rely on. Stay at a hotel that has access to the Trolley. There are a few in Mission valley but my favorite is the Double Tree as it is literally on top of a trolley station. Note that this will probably cost you Hall H. The trolley starts running at about 5 am, which means it’ll get you to the Con at 5:30. That’s right on the edge of being able to get into Hall H first thing.

2. Your other option is to rent a car but for the love of god don’t park downtown. You’ll never get in/out during the Con. Park at Qualcomm Stadium (which is free) and take the trolley in. If you must drive downtown don’t park right on top of the convention center, buy parking in the Horton Plaza lot off of 1st street. You’ll have easy in and out access at the expense of walking about 4 or 5 extra blocks (it’s a sacrifice after a day on your feet at the con but you won’t sit in traffic for an hour)

3. Don’t try to eat right near the Con. As Joel said the crowds are insane. Downtown SD is a traditional city grid with numbered streets going north and south and lettered streets going east / west…. with a few named east/west streets in between. The con is centered on 5th street.

Don’t walk down 5th street.

When you leave the con head on over to 4th or 6th. They’ll be busy but you’ll be shocked at how much lighter they are. 3rd and 7th are dead. Flat out dead. You’ve still got to cross the street with the crazy mob and protesters and such, but once you get past that it isn’t that hard to escape the crowd. Lots of restaurants on 3rd or north of Market with no waiting even during prime-time. Hell, there are some places that on normal San Diego weekends are absolutely packed and yet, during the con, are empty because they aren’t close enough to the center and all the locals have been driven off by the geekswarm.

best of luck folks!

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

@JonS253 · 99 weeks ago

There’s also a Ralph’s supermarket up the street. You’d never expect to find one there, but it has an underground parking garage, so people can go there. And it has a deli counter. Back when I lived in the area, that deli counter fed me at least twice a day during con.

Now if only Seattle had a worthwhile public transit system so I could make it to ECCC (parking in Seattle’s worse than parking in Diego, believe it or not).

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leeapeea · 99 weeks ago

I live in New England, so I LOVE LOVE LOVE September. It’s perfect weather for almost all outdoorsy things (except ice hockey – not far enough north for that to start in September). But I run transportation for the largest school district north of Boston and my department is… me. So I rarely see outside my office in September anymore, except when I walk to Planned Parenthood and donate whatever money I have and beg them to put birth control in the city water.

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CatVonAwesome· 99 weeks ago

It was great to meet you on, I think?, day 3? By the time con security was waking me from my slumber on the concrete outside Hall H on Sunday I had lost most sense of when things had happened. I only knew it was Sunday because I had drilled into my head for a year that I would be on under those tents Sunday for my SuperWho morning.

By the time I was at my hotel sunday night I had lost all ability to recall thoughts regarding names, times, places, my own name, my family, where I actually live and how I was getting back there. My body was attempting to shut itself down after 5 days of soft pretzels, coffee, cookies and red meat. (Though “meat” is a generous word.) Despite my hotel being in fucking Mordor, they did have a great breakfast so there was a bit of nutrition happening. And the shuttle service from Mordor was wonderful. Frodo should’ve been so lucky.

But, despite all of these things, I’m already blocking off the dates for next year. I can’t stay away. Exhaustion, euphoria and realizing your mere feets away from the beards of The Vikings is better than any drug.

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR! (Threat? Warning? Excitement? All of these things?)

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

MrPlow99 · 99 weeks ago

One does not simply take shuttle service from Mordor!

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Kiltman · 99 weeks ago

#ECCC Is Now A Love/Hate thing For Me…It Started Out As A “Hey Maybe I Could Drive A Couple CelebS I Wanted To Meet, And They Will Give Me Free Stuff.. And Then Morphed Into Managing Alll The Ground Transports For What Has Become A (Pretty Damn Big Ass) Convention. Soo.. I Enjoy It…But Now With 50X More Stress.

(Jennie Breeden, Norm Reedus, Jonathan Frakes, And Wil Wheaton, In Case You Were Wondering…) #Bonusround, Rolled A 2Fer1 & Met Our Joel Watson At The Same Time..#Priceless

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Bah… you love it.

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Jonathan Reilly · 99 weeks ago

Man, I’ve done my share of overstimulating travel and the thing that saves my brain is some time before and after to acclimate. Leaving Burning and spending two days in a resort pool saves my brain every year.

As a suggestion, why not fly in to Los Angeles the weekend before SDCC and relax a bit before you go head to head with KHAAAAAN. Stay with friends, relax, swim in a pool, enjoy the Stone Beer Garden, maybe even go to Disneyland if that’s your thing (though it’s not terribly relaxing).

Drive down with your friends on Tuesday afternoon- set up your booth and merch and steady yourself for the NERD ULTRA MARATHON. I recommend flasks.

Once the con is over, pack up your stuff on Monday, head back to Los Angeles, take a Silkwood shower to get the Con Crud off and Decompress. Give the PTSDCCSD abate before you get on a plane and take a leisurely flight back on Wednesday, schedule permitting.

Bracketing your con experience with small group, low key social interaction with people you like might help to wash the OVERWHELM out of your psyche.

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2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

kerys · 99 weeks ago

My fiance is second in command of a small multi-genre con (think a mini D*C w/~2-3000). I keep trying to convince him that he wants to take off from his day job 1-2 days before & after the con, he keeps saying it’s a great idea then not doing it. One day I will convince him!

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

The only problem with this plan is that it keeps me away from my family for even longer.

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Tom327Cat · 99 weeks ago

I like mowing my lawn and considering what people think of as normal, weird is a preferential state. Also, to be seen by so many? That might be too exhausting.

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Chaucer59 · 99 weeks ago

LOVE/HATE – Thanksgiving. I’m the family chef. We always have more people than space, and I can never recruit enough help. It’s exhausting, but I’m good and getting better every year. Still, something about starting meal preps two days in advance and getting up at 6 a.m. on a holiday morning just so the bird will be out and cooling by two p.m. really sucks.

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

Candace · 99 weeks ago

I hear you on the Thanksgiving thing. I love all the Thanksgiving food, but it’s a lot of work, and a big calorie hit right before another big calorie hit (Christmas.)

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Candace · 99 weeks ago

Christmas. I love Christmas, and Christmas music (all kinds of Christmas music, from the sincere to the satirical), but it always seems like so much work for something that should be enjoyable, and I often seem to get sick around that time of year, so I frequently have to do all this Christmas prep while ill.

That being said, it’s gotten easier since we convinced the family to just do gifts for the kids, and make charitable donations in honor of the adults. I love wrapping gifts and cooking, but not while ill!

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furrbear· 99 weeks ago

I used to go to SDCC as a guest of a pro, but that was like a decade ago – I can only imagine what it’s like now, and I’m only going back once I develop the ability to teleport*. No waiting for panels! And con security can take a flying leap trying to do anything about someone who can teleport, right? And being able to teleport anywhere I want for sleep and/or food – no problems with personal maintenance!

*Think the original Tomorrow People – yay low-budget ’70s UK SF!

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While I’m at SDCC, I’m posting predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being. Outlook = Probably found in a ditch.

Where am I? Only the wind knows. Also I bet gender-bent Jon Snow, despite knowing nothing Jon Snow, knows. She was around the booth a bunch earlier and seemed to have a cache of Dragon Glass under her pelt cape. As everyone who’s studied cartoonist lore knows, Dragon Glass is one of the only things that can kill us, along with bullets packed with soil/rocks from the town of our birth and entitled reader comments.

Truth be told, I am having an amazing SDCC experience. I’m spending time with some of my very favorite human beings and I’ll definitely be coming away with a few new favorites to add to the list.

When this week is over, would anyone be interested in a poster/print of all 5 days on one page?

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Lani · 100 weeks ago

Oh, god, now I NEED to see that picture. PLEEEEEEEASE?

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WongBal · 100 weeks ago

Glad you’re having a good time, Joel! Will we get more of your kickass photo comics once you get home?

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1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Candace · 100 weeks ago

Yes, please, Joel, I miss the Fancy Photo Comics.

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Dan · 100 weeks ago

Dear gods but I want Sadburry Eggs to be a real thing…

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3 replies · active 99 weeks ago

Notebooked · 100 weeks ago

You can make it real. You can make it happen.

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

They extremely are a real thing. I invented them in Seattle last year and there is video evidence.

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Dan · 99 weeks ago

You’re a visionary, sir.

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@JonS253 · 100 weeks ago

An image of all five days on one page would be cool. So would a picture of the 10th Doctor riding a T. rex, fighting Skeletor in a Sailor Moon outfit. Just sayin’…

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1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

Notebooked · 100 weeks ago

A poster of the five days, read from up-to-down?

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tom_zombie· 100 weeks ago

I read this in Hunter S Thompson’s voice from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Laughed my balls off.

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1 reply · active 100 weeks ago

lou · 100 weeks ago

Every time I read something by Hunter S. Thompson, I hear it in the voice of General Hunter Gathers from the Venture Brothers.

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ETSD· 100 weeks ago

I’m confused … which one of them is wearing the Sailor Moon costume?

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2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

Caitlin · 100 weeks ago

I think Skeletor, but I prefer the visual of the t-rex wearing it.

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Correct.

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Candace · 100 weeks ago

I think Joel is under the table, mumbling bloooooood….

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Trevor · 99 weeks ago

Is it wrong that I now WANT to see the 10th Doctor riding a T-Rex? That sounds awesome!

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lou · 99 weeks ago

Joel, we can’t find you. Come in, Joel. Joel? Joel! JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLL!!!

->Continue or Exit

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@kellyskritters · 99 weeks ago

Well I’m glad you’re having fun!

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MrPlow99 · 99 weeks ago

Anyone else love the fact that the Sunday comic hasn’t been posted yet? It’s seems perfect for the character arc.

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Rich Hendricks · 99 weeks ago

I shall demand a picture of a T-Rex riding The Doctor for my next signed copy.

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Roborat · 99 weeks ago

Okay, for the next year, everybody ask him for this picture.

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Dave · 99 weeks ago

…and Joel was never heard from again.

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2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

lou · 99 weeks ago

Wow, he’s really sticking to it; he didn’t post a Day 5 strip yet!

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

art imitates life imitates extreme exhaustion.

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@efin98 · 99 weeks ago

Should we expect a “man found wandering the streets of San Diego under the influence of some mysterious substance”?__More importantly, should we start a collection to help with your bail money or do you already have that budgetted into your con budget?

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Dave · 99 weeks ago

This is pretty fitting. Seems every time I came by at the Con he wasn’t there. Oh well. I bought a print from his daughter (no new books) anyway… but you missed out on your Starbucks Joel!

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2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

You bought that print one morning when I wasn’t able to get a cab to take me to the show. I was staying 20ish miles away and no cab companies would actually send anyone to pick me. This happened more than once that week.

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Dave · 99 weeks ago

I came by another time when you were at lunch too. No worries though, I’m not complaining. Dude’s gotta eat, and lord knows that’s tough to do at the Con. I’ve shaken your hand before. I go to the con to support the artists. I don’t HAVE to see you to do that and even buying from someone else at the booth still feels more personal than the online store.

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While I’m at SDCC, I’m posting predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being. Outlook = Not So Good.

Well that escalated quickly. Despite only being the 2nd real real day of the convention proper, Friday is usually my 3 rd or 4th consecutive day with no sleep (after 2-3 weeks with little to no sleep), and marks at least a few days of eating like a garbage monster. It’s also begins mere hours after the closing of the largest party I attend each year, w00tstock.

Despite writing this days before the actual event, I can assure with 100% future-man-from-the-past certainty that this years w00tstock was the greatest, the geekiest and the most ridiculously fantastical melding of all of the things I love, all happening in one place, which is a place full of people super excited about loving the same things I do in the same way I do. How do I know this? Because it always is. Every year always tops every previous year. Eventually, in order to top itself, w00tstock will have to be a theater full of blow job robots that fart money.

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Liam · 100 weeks ago

$200 for a sandwich?

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The Unknown FB · 100 weeks ago

That’s only a minor hyperbole on Joel’s part: con food be hella pricey.

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deadrobot · 100 weeks ago

“I saw a Ghostbuster stab a Boba Fett over a cobb salad.”

That line made me have a baby. I love you.

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Please name the baby Jango Zuul.

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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Its like Lord of The Flies, except con goers are way too fat to crush anyone with a giant boulder

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Daveren · 100 weeks ago

Blood.

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Michael Corley · 100 weeks ago

Bloooooooooood!

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@Bobuta · 100 weeks ago

Is it possible to get a drawing of these “blow-job robots that fart money” at a future w00tstock that you speak of? This may top my current favorite of Wheaton’s Spicy Dick Milk LOL

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2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

Man, I’ll draw just about anything for just about anyone.

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@Bobuta · 100 weeks ago

Then “make it so” and take my money! I can’t wait to see how you imagine such robots would look LOL

Seriously though, let me know if there’s an official method for requesting this drawing or if this is good enough

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Steve · 100 weeks ago

This is how Chaos Legionnaires are born.

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lou · 100 weeks ago

I have to find if The Doctor ever met J.R.R. Tolkien. He’s teamed up with other English literary figures, even before the relaunch.

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Mjoellnir · 100 weeks ago

Tolkien intolerable? Kill him with fire!°°

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2 replies · active 100 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

His world building and characters are second to none. HIs prose is nearly impenetrable.

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lou · 100 weeks ago

I thought it was well-known that Tolkien was a linguistics professor first and an author second.

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Orf · 100 weeks ago

Do you clear a profit on SDCC? Seems like a horrible crucible of people-flesh and overpriced services.

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1 reply · active 99 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

I won’t do a show twice if I dont make a profit. SDCC is a bit of a different animal because there are intangible benefits in terms of super fun time parties, networking, making new friends, etc. I still make a profit but its not as good as other shows.

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earlleonardmusicforkids· 100 weeks ago

Aw man, i never knew i wanted something and now i want nothing but…

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I’m trying something different for this years “while I’m at SDCC” comics. Instead of guest comics, or NO comics like I’ve done in the past, I’ve decided to make predictions as to the toll that SDCC (the con, the parties, the lack of sleep) will have on my physical and mental well being.

For Day 2, the first real day of the con, I assume spirits and energy are high despite my undoubted lack of sleep and non-lack of beer the night before at the Farking Wheaton w00tstout launch part at Stone Brewery.  I’m sure I’ll have had my typical boost of first day convention energy that causes me to be “ON” far more so than I typically am. Those that visited my booth were probably treated to fits of “playful shouting,” “simulated yelling at high volumes,” “impromptu dance parties” and “actual yelling.” What a lucky bunch they were to see my in my prime before it all went terribly wrong on Day 3.

Coming to SDCC? Come see me at the Blind Ferret Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics area. I will have books and shirts, sketches, Lil’ Wil plushies and ??????THE MYSTERY BOX??????!!!! Speaking of books, if you buy HijiNKS ENSUE Vol’s 1 or 2 you’ll get a free mini print featuring my Sharknado sequel posters! More info HERE.

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Stranger · 100 weeks ago

Wow, conventions sounds like an ordeal. Youre probably going to get the Con Crud on top of it

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4 replies · active 99 weeks ago

Opie · 100 weeks ago

Con Crud is a small price to pay for the chance to almost meet NPH !!

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Bryce · 100 weeks ago

To rip-off an old stand-up joke, ever notice that the more successful self-referential comic writers get the more their strips deal with going to or coming from conventions?

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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

That sounds like a dig. If you dont enjoy the content I post here, I suggest you discontine your consumption of it and refrain from commenting.

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Mahnarch · 99 weeks ago

Joel, Joel, Joel… *waves Joel over with a drunken swagger* [arm around Joel’s shoulder (more to keep himself up, than Joel)] He said, “More SUCCESSFULL”… MAN!!! I thin’… I think That’s a com.. *hic* ..a comsti .. *hic* consumable,,, man! I’d take it!

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HikingViking · 100 weeks ago

Maybe you could steal the disco ball and fancy lights from the Euro-Rave diner, set them up at your booth, and sponsor that break dance competition between Optimus Primes (Primi? Primu?). That would certainly draw a crowd. Plus, if you need to scream, you can just go all James Brown and shout things like “GET DOWN!”, or “HUH!” while the break dancing is happening.

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3 replies · active 100 weeks ago

lou · 100 weeks ago

I’m sure Primes is the correct plural form.

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The Unknown FB · 100 weeks ago

It is, according to the various incarnations of the shows, books, and graphic novels.

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hijinksensue· 100 weeks ago

Primuus.

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deadrobot · 100 weeks ago

From Gawker.com ComiCon post comments:

“6-2-1 rule, people. Every damn day, 6-2-1:
6 hours of sleep
2 meals
1 shower”

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DrPepperMD· 100 weeks ago

In case this comic ever shows up in a book: sandwich, not sandwhich.

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2 replies · active 99 weeks ago

The Unknown FB · 100 weeks ago

Wouldn’t it depend on which sand he had in his wich?
And if he was eating at WhichWich or that eurorave restaurant again?

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hijinksensue· 99 weeks ago

Fixed. Thanks!

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Guest · 52 weeks ago

There aren’t cracker barrels in California

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1 reply · active 52 weeks ago

hijinksensue· 52 weeks ago

Really good point. Consider this comic and all jokes contained within invalid. You are doing God’s work, internet pedant.

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