I’m torn between saying, “Ugh, you are so right” and going off into a diatribe about how devalued being both a woman and unattractive can feel (“So what the hell’s the point of you then?” is what it feels like society says (although not necessarily individuals), which is one of the reasons Fury Road is so awesome) so I’ll refrain from the latter and just say the former.

The worst part is that a lot of the cows are given something that increases their milk production significantly; but also significantly raises their incidence of mastitis (which is an infected teat). Which is super painful and sucky even without them then going, “Welp, guess you’re hamburger now.”

I watched a show about prisoners in the US who were allowed to work in dairy farms. This one prisoner was sad because one of his favorite cows had an infected teet and if it didn’t get better soon they were going to send her off for “processing.” I thought, “What a great metaphor for the patriarchy: Sorry. One of your tits has gone bad. Time to chop you up into hamburger.”

True story: I knew a woman of a maritime bent in a sea-port town who had a goat with an infected udder. The vet asked for a milk sample from each teat. She was about to label them “left” and “right” when she realized it might not be clear if she was talking about her left or the goat’s left.

She labelled them “port” and “starboard”.

I’m looking forward to the inevitable “man being held hostage by his dog” one of these (there will be one like that, right?) because I’ve been enjoying the crap out of this gag.