Wheaton Comic Dare: Sterling Cooper Maverick Goose

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you! No, really. Specifically FOR YOU.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

Occasionally Wil Wheaton dares me to turn random tweets into comics. This burden, this curse is mine alone to carry. One day I will find a way to break the chains that bind me to the will of Wheaton, but until then you can benefit from my suffering. That is assuming you have any idea at all what is happening in the above comic. Do you? Can you explain it to me? I blacked out about halfway through drawing it and when I awoke the house was on fire. [He makes me doooo thiiinnnngs… baaaaad thiiiinnngs]

This particular Wheaton comic dare originated from a tweetversation between me and Fancy Bastard @pipsipirate regarding “Top Men” and their relationship to both Top Gun and Mad Men. Highway to the danger zone, indeed. Apparantly Wil Wheaton has my twitterphones tapped or else I retweeted the exchange, because mere moments after the initial transmission he threw down the gauntlet

Having completed the challenge and being hardly any worse for the wear [some of my skin has started to grow back], I am now hoping someone far more talented than me will remake the entire Mad Men intro using elements of Top Gun. There’s already all of that falling. The work practically does itself.

HijiNKS ENSUE At Austin ComicCon - Wizard World Austin

AUSTING COMIC CON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! [MORE INFO]
November 11-13 at the Austin Convention Center! Look for me in the artist alley. 

Wheaton Comic Dare: Your Last Lachance

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

Wil Wheaton wields a power most terrible. The power to dare me to turn Tweets into comics. Should you fear this power? Most definitely. More than you fear the awakening of The Beard? Probably not. That sounds like bad news for everybody.

I somehow found myself watching John Cusack in 1408 a couple of nights ago, and I may never forgive… well anyone. It seems that when Cusack makes movies with numbers for titles we are all made to suffer.

COMMENTERS: Will you submit to the will of The Beard? Do you think you have any choice in the matter? SPOILERS: You don’t.

Wheaton Comic Dare: Wheaton Plushie Dare

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

CONVENTION NEWS: Connecticon is almost right now!!!. Come see me and David and Ryan and Lar and the Explosm quadruplets and much many mores!

HijiNKS ENSUE Joel Watson at Connecticon 2011

I also posted a new comic last night, in case you missed it.

Much like the Sphinx, or that one guy from Labyrinth that must answer each question truthfully, I am cursed to answer each Wheaton Comic Dare in the affirmative. WHEEEAAAAAATOOOONNNNNNNN!!! When will your comic lust be satiated? Will you never lift this hex? Will my children and my children’s children forever be putting pen to Internet at your beck and call? Also, we should totally make these plushies. We would sell like a hundred thousand of them. CURSE YOU!!!!

Short story even shorter: I drew a fun little sketch of what Josh would look like if I ever made a plushie of him. Wil retorted via Twitter suggesting I plushify him as well. Wheaton’s will [wil] be done, so here we are.

Speaking of dares, I dared my friend Gordon to turn this Tweet into a shirt, and he did. That’s some funny ass shirt.

Speaking again of plushies, it is entirely a real thing that I could make HE plushies before too long. I have to start thinking about who, or what in the HExicon would make for good stuffed lovin’. Feel free to COMMENT below.

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

Wheaton Comic Dare: Check Your Bag Before We Wreck Your Bag

Ewok Stare Shirt

When Southwest called me to tell me they had found my bag I was in the back of Jason Finn‘s car with Wil on the way to meet Stepto and Marian Call. Jason and Wil were talking Mini Coopers and there was talk radio coming over the car speakers, so I pressed my phone against my right ear as hard as I could and plugged the left one with my little finger. I asked the woman on the other end of the line to repeat herself. “Shredded,” she said. “Shredded?” I replied. “Like we were a polar bear and your suitcase was a seal covered in maple syrup,” she responded.

They couriered what was left of my bag to my hotel later that night. From the extent of the damage I was completely unable to come up with a scenario by which this violation could have actually occurred. It hadn’t simply been dropped or snagged. It seemed as though some sort of manimal had clawed into (or out of) my small rolling suitcase in a blind rage. Can a creature truly hate a piece of luggage? I dare say it can. In my search for a reasonable explantation, Wil offered the Sarlacc pit theory and thus a comic was born. Later in the weekend I would prototype this comic in Wil’s copy of HE Book 2.

[Special thanks to Wil for contributing his first line in panel 1, a reference to his character in the Penny Arcade D&D Podcast.]

I toyed with the idea of continuing the Emerald City Comicon Sketch comics [Part 1 and Part 2] another day, but decided instead just to show you the rest of the sketches I wanted to share in this blog post. I will call this series “Sketches For Celebrities: Both Internet And Otherwise.”

Commenters: Feel free to offer up more examples of how and why specific airlines lose your luggage. Does JFK have to pay off the mob in “misplaced” golf clubs? Does Newark purposefully chuck your bags in the river to remind you not to go to New Jersey? How about some new slogans for Southwest? I like “Southwest: Hey whattayou Expect?” “Southwest: No Guarantees,” “Southwest: Come Fly The Functional Skies,” and “Southwest: This Whole Thing Is A Scam To Move Pretzels and Diet Coke.”

Wheaton Comic Dare: Unwatchable At Any Speed

Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco!

NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers.

New Lo-FiJINKS comic posted late last night!

Driving back to Dallas from Austin today so colors and what not will be finished this evening.
UPDATE: Refresh as hard as you can to see the finished comic.

Wheaton threw down another comic dare challenge and, as always, I accepted. When will you learn not to step to these mad comicing skills, Wheaton? When? WHEEEEEAAAAATONNNNNNNN!

Having seen the trailer for Drive Angry 1: Too Driving Too Angry, I got the impression that Nic Cage escaped hell to rescue his daughter, who was the slutty blond played by Amber Heard that he was driving so very angry with. Then I got the distinct impression they wanted to have sex with each other. THEN I saw the full trailer and realized she was just some road cooz along for the ride. Whatever. This movie looks banana-tits insane.

COMMENTERS: What’s your favorite/least favorite crazy/sane Nic Cage performance and why? Also, please create subtitles for the inevitable sequels to Drive Angry: Drive Momma From The Train.

Thanks to @SpringHeeledJak for suggesting the Hindenburg kite.