Pitching Puns

COMMENTERS: Please pitch your own Breaking Bad “sPUNoffs.” 

The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is still going through the end of this week! Check out the details and order yours HERE.

MY WIFE KEEPS MAKING AWESOME STUFF! My wife has a super cool, ultra geeky jewelry shop on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace andt the just announced Harry Potter inspired Quidditch necklace. Check out dat Quaffle!  

quidditch necklace

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Surely the time is right for the Star Trek slash-fic rom-com – “Bonking Borg”?

Or perhaps, in these times of financial austerity, a look at life at the bottom of the financial ladder, where every loaf counts: “Banking Bread”?

Or a remake of the Monkees, charting life as an up and coming music group – “Breaking Band”?

psuedoname's avatar

psuedoname · 96 weeks ago

Brad Pitt goes on a series of rollercoasters after a big meal – Barfing Brad
Weaselspoon's avatar

Weaselspoon · 96 weeks ago

An evil genius has hoisted an entire German spa town onto wheels and it is rapidly accelerating towards the Swiss. To prevent the outbreak of war, our hero is going to have to do all he can to stop it. Coming this fall: Braking Baden-Baden
Giffy's avatar

Giffy · 96 weeks ago

There’s a bloody war among the rams and ewes, and finally, through all the turmoil, out arises the new monarch: Great King Baa.
An 80 year old grandmother, is forced to reexamine her life when her entire small town gets dysentery … there’s only one way she knows to stop the impending shit storm. This fall, granny’s got the cure: Baking Bran
Van Helsing comes to America to discover a massive vampire colony in LA. Catch “Staking Vlad” next on Fox!
mokatz's avatar

mokatz · 96 weeks ago

The Swedish Chef: Borking Bork. (Bork!)
Nathan deGargoyle's avatar

Nathan deGargoyle · 96 weeks ago

Will Shakespear’s new cookery show – Baking Bard.
I’ll get me coat – Taxi!
Benjamin Mansfield's avatar

Benjamin Mansfield · 96 weeks ago

A trendy new trend breaks out this fall as trees begin to drop their leaves. Make sure to tune into Raking Fad.
Benjamin Mansfield's avatar

Benjamin Mansfield · 96 weeks ago

Winter is coming!! Tune into HBO’s Game of Thrones spinoff throwback to the founders of House Stark – Brrr!! Aching Back!!
Mcecny's avatar

Mcecny · 96 weeks ago

Cesar Millans new reality show on training attack dogs – Barking Mad!
Sesame Street has fallen on hard times. To get by, Big Bird has to take up a hard hat and join the local construction company. Bricking Bird!
Gemma's avatar

Gemma · 94 weeks ago

Nice necklace. It should go really well with my new breaking bad shirt.
Daemnor's avatar

Daemnor · 26 weeks ago

“Bunking Bald”

<chortle>

Passive. Aggressive.

The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is all new looking and such, and all ladies shirts are $5 off! 

 I have dreamed a dream, but now that dream is gone from me. It’s hard not to take it personally when you have such a specific plan for your favorite geeky movie or show and it seems like Hollywood or the BBC or the Universe in general just isn’t paying attention to that plan. It’s even worse when you find out how close the Universe’s plan was to your own. It’s worse when you find out out you could have had it all

COMMENTERS: When I was a kid we were rarely privy to information such as casting rumors. Hell, we were rarely privy to information at all by today’s standards. What ill-fated casting rumor did you most hope was true? What geeky movie or show suffered from the worst casting? The best? 

The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is still going through the end of next week! Check out the details and order yours HERE.

MY WIFE KEEPS MAKING AWESOME STUFF! My wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace and more geeky creations in her shop, but she just announced her Harry Potter inspired Quidditch necklace. Check out dat Quaffle!  

quidditch necklace

Comments (75)

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He’s riffing on the “Let go and let God” slogan.
Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 96 weeks ago

“Ain’t no law that says a dog can’t be a timelord.” — Air Bud 12, as told by Rifftrax Live.
TheWatcher's avatar

TheWatcher · 96 weeks ago

Isn’t “rooting for a black doctor” just as bad as rooting for a white doctor?

Can’t we just hope that part is cast well, regardless of skin colour?

16 replies · active 96 weeks ago

TheWatcher's avatar

TheWatcher · 96 weeks ago

Irrelevant. Just because there hasn’t yet been one does not make having one preferable *if* there is someone better for the part.
Breaking racial barriers is important whether its in sports, politics or entertainment. Also the “if there’s someone better for the job” is an old argument that’s been used by “I’m not racist, but I’m just sayin’l racists for years.
MichaelH's avatar

MichaelH · 96 weeks ago

It’s still odd everyone wanting a black or female doctor to be written by a white male. Shouldn’t we be wishing for the next showrunner/head writer to be the black/female (or both) who would in turn produce the diversity needed? It worked with the previous gay showrunner who opened the door to Doctor Who happily including characters of any sexuality desired.

While it’s nice Moffat has entertained widening the role, it’s also good that in the end he’s choosing to write the Doctor he knows rather than trying to force a new aspect of the Doctor just for the sake of it.

And the next showrunner is possibly the (respectful) campaign to wage now. After all, Davies was getting ready to leave and we didn’t even know it by about now!

UnderTheDark's avatar

UnderTheDark · 96 weeks ago

You know what, you make a fantastic point. I would be SO much more excited to hear about a new, non-misogynistic/”color-blind” show runner… if you think that women and minorities are under-represented IN FRONT of the camera, well Mississippi-godDAMN take a look behind!
TheWatcher's avatar

TheWatcher · 96 weeks ago

I would be nice to see a black doctor, but saying I’m “rooting” for it seems to me to be going to far…

I really hope the show-runners are colour-blind both ways when casting. I’m sure that they have a vision of what the doctor should be and frankly I’d be disgusted if that vision includes a race. (And in fact, we know it doesn’t. Since a black man has been offered the part before.)

If a white guy got the job over a black guy because they think he’ll be a better doctor – that better fits how they want to develop the character – so be it. The same goes for age, sex – whatever.

“Also the “if there’s someone better for the job” is an old argument that’s been used by “I’m not racist, but I’m just sayin’l racists for years.”

It’s funny, because I’m black. (Well, my mother is anyway.) But come on. Attack my argument, fair enough. But don’t use it as an excuse to lump me in with those assholes.

TheWatcher's avatar

TheWatcher · 96 weeks ago

I mean if you were just rooting for Chiwetel Ejiofor, I could understand it more. Chiwetel Ejiofor is fucking awesome.
It’s not just that they’re black, I think Cheesewheel and Idris would both be friggin awesome at the gig. But it’s not about wanting “Black” or “white” it’s about wanting “different”. Asian, woman or ginger would be cool too. though not an asian woman ginger. That might be weird.
Does she have a British accent? Gender, race and folcile-bending I’ll wholeheartedly endorse, but I’ll not have my doctors be other than British.
Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 96 weeks ago

As I said on the last comic, there is no one “best actor” for any role. Acting is pretty much the only profession where a black woman who nailed her audition for the Power Rangers can be told she didn’t get the role because “we already have a black actor”. So it’s naive to the border of incredulity to say “color doesn’t matter as long as it’s the best actor” whenever “someone who isn’t white” is mentioned as a casting possibility.
Dukes of Hazard.
When Coy and Vance joined the show. No, at least they were acknowledged to not be Bo and Luke. But C’MON!
Love the word Alcoholabetes by the way. 😉
Ron's avatar

Ron · 96 weeks ago

I was dreading Heath Ledger as the Joker. All I could picture was Ten Things I Hate about you. It was going to be horrible. Then I watched it. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Since then I don’t judge who gets cast for whatever role.

1 reply · active 96 weeks ago

I had never seen his previous works, but I was similarly skeptical. Holy shit was I wrong.
Paul's avatar

Paul · 96 weeks ago

Used to love the show Sliders, especially with the original cast. I was not the least bit perturbed when they replaced Sabrina Lloyd as the token female/love interest with Kari Wuhrer. I was, however, a bit annoyed when they replace Jerry O’Connell with his lesser brother, Charlie. The dynamic was completely obliterated and the show lost a lot of something, including me as a viewer after a few episodes.

4 replies · active 96 weeks ago

I caught a really late in the series episode one night about a month ago and the entire cast has been replaced (more than once over) and only Rembrandt was left. Charlie O’ wasn’t even there. It was some other random dude who apparently was a shitty clone of Quinn or something.
That was the last season when Jerry focused on directing. The finale was anticlimactic, too
I suggest you watch the finale to find out
Richard Ayoade. Would have been brilliant. So much of a long shot that it was fun to think about. But Neil Gaiman says that he knows a black actor who was offered the Doctor and turned it down.

1 reply · active 96 weeks ago

That would have been bananapants awesome.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 96 weeks ago

I just want a maple bacon vodka pancake batter smoothie.
It seems everything would be fine if I had one of those…

What if I went crazy and made PANCAKES out of it! Oh, the awesomeness…

1 reply · active 96 weeks ago

So, being that you have free will, i suggest you start collecting ingredients.
I don’t know who decided Topher Grace should be Venom, but they deserve nothing less than being thrown in Sarlacc’s pit.

4 replies · active 96 weeks ago

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Canadian Spider-Man · 96 weeks ago

Topher Grace should have been Peter Parker. Tobey McGuire was completely miscast. During That 70s Show, I swore he would make the PERFECT Peter, and then the Spider-Man movies happened, and Tobey was an emotionless robot. And then they finally get Topher, but he’s Eddie Brock..
Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 96 weeks ago

When I went to see Gatsby my main comment was “how come when Tobey Maguire is shy and awkward it’s painful, but when DiCaprio does the same kind of thing it’s endearing?” The answer of course is “because one of them’s a good actor.”
I think it was definitely different back in the day before the Internet…we would just watch the show, take what we got and either kept watching or stopped.

I remember reading about Lucas’s 9 Star Wars plan, being all excited and then wondering if we were ever going to get Episodes I-III.

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HikingViking · 96 weeks ago

I think the best fantasy movie casting I’ve ever really noticed was Julie Walters being cast as Molly Weasley. After watching her play Mrs. Wilkinson, I couldn’t imagine a better actress to play someone so fiercely protective and maternal. But honestly, I think her acting chops (along with many of the actors and actresses in the franchise) had their talents wasted – or at least not utilized to the fullest. Alan Rickman being a very notable exception. At the other end of the spectrum, the worst casting ever was Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt being cast in Interview With the Vampire.

3 replies · active 96 weeks ago

That whole series is full of just sublime casting choices. Hagrid, Snape, pretty much all of the teachers… just fantastic.
Stonemaven's avatar

Stonemaven · 96 weeks ago

Re Interview:
I read the book as a kid and always pictured Sting (circa Dune) as Louis and Rutger Hauer (circa Ladyhawk) as Lestat and maybe Mathew Broderick as Armand. If it had been made into a movie back then at the time, it would have been perfect. I was horrified when Pitt and Cruise were announced even though my ideal actors were too old by that time.
I had heard that Patrick Stewart was rumored to play Mr. Freeze in ‘Batman and Robin’. I was hoping that it was him instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

4 replies · active 96 weeks ago

in retrospect, arent you glad it wasnt him?
Liam's avatar

Liam · 96 weeks ago

Considering how “Batman and Robin” turned out yes I’m glad but at the time I was disappointed because I think Patrick Stewart could be a good Mr. Freeze.
Just imagining it is giving me waking nightmares. I must wash Batman and Robin from my mind.
bucketofarrows's avatar

bucketofarrows · 96 weeks ago

Nathan Fillion as Nathan Drake. He even said he wanted the role. When I heard it was Wahlberg and the weird direction they were going I died a little inside and then felt relieved when the whole thing got scrapped.

HikingViking, another exception was Maggie Smith I thought.

1 reply · active 96 weeks ago

Ali's avatar

Ali · 96 weeks ago

I was hoping for David Tennant as Thranduil, honestly, back in like 2010 when Hobbit casting rumors were first floating around. And I was pleased by the Nimoy as Smaug casting rumor, but far more pleased by the reality of Cumbersmaug.
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groklife · 96 weeks ago

Late 80’s/early 90’s: I was so ready for Pierce Brosnan to be Agent 007.
Instead, we got Timothy Dalton. Nothing wrong with Timothy Dalton, but HE WASN’T Pierce Brosnan!

Of course, then I got Pierce Brosnan. Be careful what you wish for. I thought he was crap in his four Bond movies.

Daniel Craig is fantastic, imho.

Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 96 weeks ago

In the early 90s, rumor had it that Robert DeNiro was being cast as Wolverine. I could not and can not imagine it.
Liam's avatar

Liam · 96 weeks ago

Here is a good one. Nicolas Cage as Superman.
Mr. T is still alive. That recent A-Team movie should have had him as Mr. T! I don’t care if he has aged; it should have been.

I don’t really know enough to figure out how to get in on the casting rumor mill, though.

2 replies · active 96 weeks ago

He has NOT aged. He is ageless.
The Unknown FB's avatar

The Unknown FB · 96 weeks ago

Enough of your jibber-jabber…Mr. T is a closeted Time Lord!
He pities those who fool with his TARDIS!
Tony's avatar

Tony · 96 weeks ago

There was a rumor that Christopher Eccleston was going to find his way into Game of Thrones (I want to say as Balon Greyjoy, but I could be mistaken), and this was right after my second time watching his run as the Doctor (you know, the time after you’ve seen the Tennant years and the beginning of Smith’s run, and you’re rewatching everything and you realize how much more brilliant Eccleston’s Doctor was than you initially gave him credit for), and I was excited to see him doing anything, but especially something as cocainesque as Game of Thrones. Sure, even he probably couldn’t have saved Balon Greyjoy from the massively petty stupid that Georgr R. R. Martin originally imbued the character with (seriously, what the fuck is the point of invading the North when the Lannisters probably can’t afford to thoroughly defend the wealthiest castles in the country from the sea because two of the people that want to claim their Iron Throne are like two days’ sail from attacking the capital?), but it doesn’t change the fact that I would really love to see Mr. Eccleston on screen again in something I’m going to watch…

2 replies · active 96 weeks ago

Eccleston is fantastic! It would have been awesome to see him in Game of Thrones! But he will be in Thor 2! So don’t give up on him.
Kirby's avatar

Kirby · 96 weeks ago

People really don’t give Eccleston’s doctor enough credit. Of the three, “modern” doctors he’s probably my favorite.

I was squeeing my little fanboy brain out when I heard that Matt Smith wanted to do a crossover between them. <3 I so so very very disappointed that it never happened. *crosses fingers* Another 5 doctors, another five doctors

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Bubbalouey · 96 weeks ago

Erm… Didn’t you only just start watching doctor who last year?

2 replies · active 96 weeks ago

lou's avatar

lou · 96 weeks ago

I think he’s been mainlining old episodes in between seasons.
Canadian Spider-Man's avatar

Canadian Spider-Man · 96 weeks ago

I was hoping for an older man to play the Doctor. Skin color didn’t matter. I got what I wanted!

1 reply · active 96 weeks ago

Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 96 weeks ago

Now I’m imagining Bill Nye as The Doctor. Someone would ask “how are the Daleks doing this” and he’d get halfway through an explanation full of props and sound effects before they got killed because they forgot to run.
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meagankn · 96 weeks ago

THAT NECKLACE! GIVE IT TO ME FOR TO PUT ON MY NECKLACE PLACE! I’m throwing all my dollars in a vaguely Southeastern direction which means, given a good head wind, they should reach you from Seattle in about a week. Then necklace, please? Yes. Thanks. `
I think i remember hearing Coin Firth wanting to be a villain in Doctor Who. I could be mistaken here but he said something that he wanted to play a bad guy.

As for the new casting of the Doctor, I’m excited that they’ve gone back to a mature actor, I saw some of Tom Baker’s Doctor and he was brilliant in that! But I get that people want something different, i myself am tired of the love struck companions and would love to see an alien companion for a change.

Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 96 weeks ago

When I was a kid I think every year we had a new rumor about an Ender’s Game movie with various people in various roles. This was back when the internet was AOL and I didn’t have political awareness, so it was possible to actually enjoy an Orson Scott Card book without feeling slimy.
Kirby's avatar

Kirby · 96 weeks ago

Green Lantern’s hasn’t been brought up in here? Interesting.

I like Ryan Reynolds. He might not be in a lot of the best movies, but I don’t think he was right for… well, any of the human lanterns I can think of off the top of my head. At least he should have been a -funny- character. Flash, for example.

It’s kind of like having a movie with Bane and casting a muscle bound hulk as Mr. Freeze instead.

You all know what I’m talking about.

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Chaucer59 · 95 weeks ago

Some of Enterprise was excellent. As long as they were just filling in back story, it was fine. Where they went to hell was in adding whole empires of aliens we’d never seen in Star Trek. That just stretched hell out of audience credulity.

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Bingeing Bad

Breaking Bad’s final 8 episodes start in less than a week. In order to prepare I am giving myself ulcers by rewatching seasons 4 and 5.1 of the most captivating show of the last decade. It is killing me. It is killing me and I love it.

The HijiNKS ENSUE Store seems to have gotten a makeover.

I have SO MANY thoughts, ideas and opinions about Breaking Bad. I could go on for pages about character motivations, growth, plot complexity, the absolute beauty with which it is shot… but, instead here are some things I posted on Twitter

  • Rewatching Breaking Bad season 4 to prep for the new eps and getting crushed under the weight of its fantasticness.
  • I wonder if Aaron Paul would have grown into such unbelievable talent-pants if not for Breaking Bad. Did it awaken his latent abilities?
  • I would imagine working with Cranston and Gilligan forced Paul to up his game. To play in their world he had to rise to their level.
  • Not that Paul wasn’t great in season 1 but by season 4 he’s in a whole new league.
  • I play this game during every Breaking Bad where I try and chart Walt’s motivation throughout the episode. Is fear, ego or pride in control?
  • I also try to track Walt’s shifting layers of deception. Is he lying to himself, others, both? He moves in and out of lies so fluidly.
  • Sorry. Breaking Bad Spoilers: Walt lies a lot.

And one for the road: 

  • My daughter is talking about Equestria Girls like they just announced Peter Capaldi is playing Twilight Sparkle.

COMMENTERS: What’s the most/longest/hardest/fastest you’ve ever binged a show/series/book/whatever? Was it worth it?

The 2013 DIGITAL FANCY SKETCH DRIVE is still going! I’m running low on funds (like I usually do this time of year), so for $20 I will draw you just about anything (within reason). Check out the details and order yours HERE.

hijinks-ensue-digital-sketch-drive-07-13

ANOTHER THING YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD KNOW ABOUT! In addition to having her own photo restoration business, my wife has also started making super cool, ultra geeky jewelry on Etsy. You can see her Tetris necklace below and more geeky creations in her shop! The first 10 Tetris necklaces are already gone. Get in on this now, because the more orders she gets the longer the wait will be.

tetris-necklace

Comments (59)

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When I first found the West Wing, after it had already finished its run, I watched the whole thing in about a week.
Wesley's avatar

Wesley · 97 weeks ago

I do this quite a lot.. basically I become a fanatic about anything I like, starting at the beginning and stopping only to sleep, work or because I either get annoyed by it or finish it up to the current episode/comic page/book/whatever.
Thomas's avatar

Thomas · 97 weeks ago

Every time a new book in the “Wheel of Time” series came out, I reread the entire series.

3 replies · active 97 weeks ago

Wesley's avatar

Wesley · 97 weeks ago

Including the prologue?
Jesse's avatar

Jesse · 97 weeks ago

I did the exact same thing, including the Prologue. It got pretty ridiculous towards the end.
isoldeblackbunny's avatar

isoldeblackbunny · 97 weeks ago

trying to read prologue to 13 in 6 weeks (so I had a gap week before 14 came out) nearly killed me: it was glorious.
Ha, ha! I say ignore that irregular heart beat of 4 minutes per beat and push on with the show!
When I was in Jr. High, I was home sick and watched six episodes of Muppet Babies back to back followed by Knight Rider. (The episode where CARR returns) 😉

1 reply · active 97 weeks ago

Kryss's avatar

Kryss · 97 weeks ago

KARR was awesome. XD Hey, look; Asimov’s Three Laws matter! XD Is Knight Rider in reruns somewhere? Or on Netflicks? Damn, they should bring back NBC’s Thursday night lineup from, like, 1984 or so. Knight Rider, the A-Team, and Magnum P.I. It would be epic. XD

Yes, yes, Magnum PI was CBS and the A-Team might have been, like, ABC or something. I don’t care; you know what I mean.

Damn, now I want an epic crossover.

That might have been my first. We were watching it with Netflix DVD’s and finished 2 discs every day and a half, then waiting 3-4 days for new discs.
groklife's avatar

groklife · 97 weeks ago

I did this with all of the Dark Tower novels, until King let the last few go within a few months of each other.

I tend to binge series, too. “Fringe” is what I’m on now. Netflix just screwed me on that tip, though. They emailed me, letting me know that Season 5 was available. I watched the first 8 eps in two evenings (at work), clicked on the 9th and was told, “No longer available to stream.” I was pissed!

Got an email from them yesterday telling me that it’d be available in September. Woo. Freakin. Hoo.

runcibletune's avatar

runcibletune · 97 weeks ago

My mom and I did that with TOS. I decided to watch it after enjoying the 2009 reboot. Like you said, it was often (usually?) unintentionally hilarious – we enjoyed pausing it and laughing about what was going on as much as watching it happen.

This was before I understood how to get TV shows on my computer so we would borrow 4 DVDs at a time from our local library. It was awesome.

The Unknown FB's avatar

The Unknown FB · 97 weeks ago

What’s also fun is after doing that do all the rest of the Trek series: TAS, TNG, DS9, VOY, ENT.
You could put ENT before TOS, but I don’t think that’s wise…and for even more fun, mix the Prime universe’s 10 movies into your viewing, in date of release order.
Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce · 97 weeks ago

Saw Equestria Girls in the theater. It was much better than I had expected.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 97 weeks ago

I ONLY enjoyed 24 when 1 season ran as a 24-hour marathon on TV.

**I so want this to end with Walter White, holding a gun, standing over a shot Hank gasping his last breaths. Walter leans in and says, “I AM Heisenberg.” choke-rasp- black.

4 replies · active 97 weeks ago

RE: your finale prediction, it’s going to be the opposite. Hank HAS to kill Walter. Everyone loses. EVERYONE loses.
DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 97 weeks ago

Jesse shows up, guns blazing. Shoots Skylar in the head. The kid takes the baby and hides under the table (they both live).
Walt gets shot in the neck, Hank gets shot in the gut. Jesse gets shot by Hank.
Walt and Hank, both sitting on the floor, gasping their last breaths. Hank says “I knew this day would come.”
Walt says, “I have to tell you… I am Heisenberg.”
gasp-gasp. rasp-rasp. choke-choke. black.

I really think Hank needs to die.

DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck · 97 weeks ago

I reject your “reality” and replace it with my own, much more “fantastical” one.
A couple months ago, I set aside everything to watch EVERY EPISODE of Dr. Who that Netflix had. Old, new, whatever. It took a while, but it was worth it…kinda want to do it again.

16 replies · active 97 weeks ago

I did that a few years ago. Probably 3-4 a night until I was through 9 and 10.
runcibletune's avatar

runcibletune · 97 weeks ago

Did you start at the beginning? I’ve been meaning to get into Who for a while but my do-everything-in-order tendencies are at war with everybody telling me that the newer stuff is more accessible and I should start there.
Nah, I started with 9.
Well, watching the new seasons *will* get you ready for the big thing that’s going on. I’ll probably have to catch it once it hits Netflix, unless I can catch a marathon of the stuff not yet on netflix (to catch me up).

Sadly, and I did research on this, some of the old series were lost in a warehouse fire on BBC property. Amongst the original reels lost were legendary episodes from the first season onward, but some has survived. I would still recommend watching ALL the old stuff, but the very oldest episode is quite disorienting. I’m not sure if the very first episode was lost, or if Netflix just doesn’t care.

lou's avatar

lou · 97 weeks ago

Radio plays? They still make those?
Shane's avatar

Shane · 97 weeks ago

It’s actually a bit more horrible than that. During the late 60s and into the 70s the BBC policy was to erase and reuse the video tapes that the shows were recorded to. They figured no one was interested in some old sci fi show so they wiped them out. All though copies of many episodes have been found, about 40% of the first six years of the show are gone.
Animated, eh? It’ll lack the overwhelming charm of old SFX, but it’ll be something!
Netflix, actually. I lost sleep, watching every episode they had. I didn’t keep track of the number of episodes…or days…
And now I’m on to X-Files, but I’m trying to pace myself.
Bex C.'s avatar

Bex C. · 97 weeks ago

When Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire came out, I purchased the book and read the entire thing from start to finish in one sitting. I took a few breaks to eat and bathroom, but one full 15 hour stretch of time devouring the whole book. As soon as it ended, I immediately wanted to start it over but my dad made me take a break. I was 13.

3 replies · active 97 weeks ago

I did all of Harry Potter on Audiobook over the course of a month. I was listening to it while I worked, in the car, and in bed. I was actually really sad when it was over.
Holly's avatar

Holly · 97 weeks ago

I got my first (and so far only) speeding ticket while listening to the HP audiobooks and driving cross-country. I got so caught up in the dementors scene that I didn’t realize I was going 93mph through Nebraska.
Bex C.'s avatar

Bex C. · 97 weeks ago

I’m sad to say that when I finally got my copy of book 7, I didn’t read it immediately. It was a mixture of being supremely busy with day to day life and not wanting it to end. I ended up picking it up after 6 months of staring at it and SOMEHOW still avoiding all spoilers. I was intensely sad when it was over, too. Now whenever I get bored with reading new stuff, I pick the series up and read it all over again.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 97 weeks ago

LOTR Extended Editions was my biggest binge. When Return Of The King came out, I shut myself away with stockpiles of snacks for a night and first re-watched Fellowship and Two Towers, then ROTK, then ALL the extras on that one, then ROTK again, with the actor’s commentary.
Best. Night. Ever.

1 reply · active 97 weeks ago

I have all of those on BluRay and I still havent made it through them yet. We usually get about 2.5 hours into one and give up.
lou's avatar

lou · 97 weeks ago

Sometimes I do this with movies. My brother & I watched Captain America: First Avenger on Blu-Ray before we went to see The Avengers, and my friends & I watched that movie on Blu-Ray before seeing Iron Man 3. I took 6 hours out of 1 Friday to watch Batman Begins and the Dark Knight before the Saturday I went to see the Dark Knight Rises. The most hardcore instance of this is when I went to YouTube to find the clips of the complete TRON movie, before I went out to watch TRON Legacy.
As for TV shows, my friends and I also watched Season 4 of Fringe (because certain complications with our schedules kept us from watching it on TV and DVR’s can only hold so many episodes) so we could follow what the deuce was happening in Season 5. ALL worth it!
Skye's avatar

Skye · 97 weeks ago

When I was in high school, my boyfriend had Babylon 5 on VHS (taped off of TNT) and I sat on a bean bag in front of my TV and watched the entire series the summer between freshman and sophomore year. I had to sit in front of the TV because I didn’t have a remote for my VCR, so in order to fast forward through the commercials I had to push the buttons on the front of the VCR. The only times I came downstairs were to get lunch, eat dinner (mother insisted on dinner at the table), and to trade out VHS tapes with my boyfriend (each tape only held 6 episodes or so if I remember correctly).

I still haven’t forgiven him for spoiling Z’ha’dum–we’ve been married for 11 years now and he’s still in trouble. *glares*

Mike Ferris's avatar

Mike Ferris · 97 weeks ago

That Tetris necklace is baaaaaadass. I know what my wife’s getting for her birthday.
Adam D.'s avatar

Adam D. · 97 weeks ago

My friend (poor bastard, though he likely would be a Fancy Bastard) used to work for Barnes and Noble, and he ALWAYS (not sure if he volunteered or not, he’d never tell me) on for the Harry Potter releases. And like a good friend, I’d go to keep him company so the little Hogwarts wouldn’t cause him to start firing Killing Curses at anything that moved. Normally this ended with me getting a copy of Harry Potter, then sitting down and reading it cover to cover in about 3-5 hours. No bathroom breaks, no food breaks… just sitting up at 1am,2am,3am,4am… knowing full well I had to work the following day, and just not giving a damn. Plus it prevented any of the books being spoiled, which ended up being a good thing.

Wife would usually read it after I had finished… except for book 5, where the local radio station decided to blurt out the ending… at 9AM. You could imagine how that went down.

Ben's avatar

Ben · 97 weeks ago

With the exception of TNG, I have a tough time with episodic stories, especially where there is a long story arc involved. If I feel like watching Dr. Who, I feel this need to watch all of Who… in order… back to back.

If I’m feeling some BSG, then it’s off to the Pilot I go.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Jack Shephard wake up in that jungle after Flight 815 crashed. Or how many times I’ve heard Christopher Eccleston has said “Run!” Or

Star Wars? LOTR? Back to the Future? Robotech?

With me, it’s “In for a penny, in for a pound.” I can’t watch one without all the rest.

xero's avatar

xero · 97 weeks ago

2 solid weeks catching up on a manga and several months watching 5 diffrent seasons of Kamen rider (starte with dcad when it was new and started going backwards got to Hibiki and stopped cause yea it’s REALLY bad

working through detective conana atm…i’m on chapter 7 of 696 :.((

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Conclave

Apparently my finger is squarely on the twin pulses of the 12th Doctor casting situation, because when I stared into the untempered Vortex and asked myself who the next Doctor should be the very first name that came to mind was the unpronouncable one belonging to Chiwetel Ejiofor (CAUTION: His name is a killing word). So is this how we’re doing things now? I just DECIDE on the ways in which I want the universe to be awesome and the pieces all start to fall into place like so much reverse JENGA? I am 100% OK with this.

I have a store where I sell books and shirts. If you buy that stuff I can pay my mortgage and feed my family like a regular dude with a real job.

It was probably right around the moment someone said, “Hey, maybe not a lanky white dude for The Doctor this time?” that C.E.’s intensely impressive talent, range and ability to say something softly, calmly and so terrifyingly serious that you know he means business and is NOT to be trifled with began to stick in my brain as a potential successor to the Sonic Screwdriver. Imagine the simple, calculated and honest way The Operative from Serenity explained to people how they had failed to meet his expectations and exactly how they were going to die… now apply that same badassery and emotional weight to a “Doctor speech.” That shit is chilling. I want that in the blue box.

How badass would it be if A) he was cast as the Doctor and B) a few years from now they just go ahead and use his actual name as the name of The Doctor? It sounds Gallifreyan enough for me.

COMMENTERS: Dream-cast The Doctor and his next companion. 

Comments (85)

2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

me neither i sincerely hope this is just a rumor
90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

Really? Why? I know it’s not who you might have wanted (if indeed he gets the role) but in everything I’ve seen him in (especially Black Mirror) he was a very good actor. And the Doctor role (like Neil Gaiman said) is very much about being pleasantly surprised by what a guy you didn’t expect in the role is able to bring to the character.
Plus I get a sort of Sylvester McCoy vibe off the guy!
TheWatcher's avatar

TheWatcher· 103 weeks ago

I hate to tell you this, but the original source of the Chiwetel Ejiofor rumour is the Daily Mail. Over here in Old Blighty, The Daily Mail has a reputation for being less than accurate. Much less than accurate, actually.

Franky, I rate the chances of me getting the part over The Daily Mail getting it right.

2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Paige's avatar

Paige· 103 weeks ago

Damn it.

I’m not touching the 12th Doctor discussion (well I am, but I want no part of it), but Chiwetel Ejiofor actually would be a great Doctor.

since I’m not even on the right rock, I’ll throw my two cents in and say I’ll just wait until the person gets announced. Both Tennant and Smith said they had some time in between being selected and finally being announced so probably the same situation here.
If you’re going to go with a far-out prediction, you can’t beat the one proposed by other webcomic Capes N Babes: http://www.capesnbabes.com/2013/06/07/873-doctor-…
Roger Daltrey!
not just for the obvious “Who” wordplay, but also…
(1) he used to have the same hair as Tom Baker… and has more of it left
(2) instead of “alons-y” or “geronimo” he can just yell “YEEEAAAHHH” (if CBS will let him)
(3) I remember him guesting on several episodes of “Sliders” as what was essentially an Evil Time Lord. He was the best thing on the show at the time (not that difficult, I know).
Just sayin’
Faye's avatar

Faye· 103 weeks ago

It’s probably going to be some unknown. This sort of casting rumour isn’t a new thing, though.

Just watch Curse of Fatal Death (Comic Relief themselves have put it up here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do-wDPoC6GM ) – the Doctor blows through half a dozen regenerations in 20 minutes, and just about every actor to play the Doctor was rumoured to be ‘the next Doctor’ at one point or another. (Joanna Lumley was rumoured for Five, for example.)

If you don’t want to watch, the Curse of Fatal Death Doctors were: Rowan Atkinson, Richard E. Grant, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant, Joanna Lumley.

2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Joanna Lumley would have rocked actually. And for those who don’t know who she is, she was Patsy on AbFab.
90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

Why wouldn’t you want to watch Curse of the Fatal Death – it was awesome! And of course Richard E. Grant finally got to go on and play a villain in mainstream Doctor Who!
I don’t mind as long as they don’t cast Billie Piper *ugh*http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-2274….
nenslo's avatar

nenslo· 103 weeks ago

They’ll find a way round it. To be honest the first thing they should do is cut the late 90s TV movie with Paul McGann from the canon.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce· 103 weeks ago

I’m pretty sure they already have. The Doctor sure as Hell ain’t half-human.
Faye's avatar

Faye· 103 weeks ago

I think last but one – the first regeneration was One into Two, so the twelfth regeneration will be Twelve into Thirteen.

The limit is because regeneration is a kind of mutation, and can lead to defects later down the line. It’s like making photocopies, a copy of a copy of a copy isn’t going to be as clear as the original.

When the Doctor does his funny ‘still got legs!’ thing, it’s not a joke, regeneration could seriously mess him up some day, and there’s no ‘undo’ on that. See also: Each Doctor being less mentally stable than the predecessor.

scarlettb's avatar

scarlettb· 103 weeks ago

Back in the day, the Master had reached the end of his regenerations, and he got a new set from the Time Lords for, like…helping out with something. (I am less than clear on the details.) So I have always thought of regeneration limits as more of an administrative ruling, to prevent Time Lords from just regenerating limitlessly, than a biological restraint. Now that there ARE no other Time Lords, I assume said limits would be revoked.
The Time Lords gave the Master more lives because they needed him to be a super-soldier or something for the Time War, but he wussed out and high tailed it to the heat-death of the universe.
Hotsauce's avatar

Hotsauce· 103 weeks ago

They’ve already said “meh, that’s just something the Doctor said. The Doctor makes shit up all the time.”
nenslo's avatar

nenslo· 103 weeks ago

The showrunners won’t go for anyone obvious, so if someone’s touted in a news article as “being in the running” then you know for certain they’re not.
Big John's avatar

Big John· 103 weeks ago

From what I recall back in the 80s, Time Lords had 12 regenerations. However, The Master was able to get around it and weasel himself another 12 through his dastardly deeds. That said, they haven’t mentioned it at all in the new series and it wouldn’t be the first time cannon got changed without any other explanation.

3 replies · active 94 weeks ago

Faye's avatar

Faye· 103 weeks ago

That “507” could be interpreted as ‘I am crawling backwards through an air duct, please stop asking me things.’, so I dunno.

It’s possible, but I don’t think the 500th Doctor would resemble a Time Lord at all by that point. See above, re: mutating regenerations.

Or see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mawdryn_Undead – the guy with the brain outside his head suffers from unlimited regenerations.

First of ALL,
First of ALL,
Its called math bitches: 12 Regenerations ( 12.5 so far ARE CANNON )
means 13 Doctors.

Although with the new insertion of SAD doctor, between 8-9 … we are going on 13 )
12.5 Regenerations = A regeneration crises after = Evil Doctor= The Valeyard

Of course between body stealing and the Elixer Of Life , the Master earned and scammed 5 extra lifes…
WE already know the Valeyard goes breaks the OLD time lock on Gallifreys past,
or maybe he’ll take the RegenerationEnergy from Donna Noble, and blood from Jack , and make himself TImeLOrd Victorious for realz…

Even the new Bad timelords will give him a new set for breaking them out.

The Rizz's avatar

The Rizz· 103 weeks ago

I still think Don Warrington would make an incredible Doctor.
Lani's avatar

Lani· 103 weeks ago

In my dreams the next Doctor and companion are Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. Doesn’t matter which one is which, but that would be wonderful. They’re really the only white males I’d be okay with. I’m hoping for a female Doctor.

3 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Hugh Laurie would be a badass Doctor, if he brought in the same attitude as House.
Now I’m imagining a Bertie Wooster Doctor. In some ways it’s appropriate, but mostly quite strange.
Rikonius's avatar

Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

If they put Fry and Laurie in, then I think I’d rather see Fry as the Doctor and Laurie as the Master.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

I’ve had this discussion with FB friends and on a message board, and the consensus was that it’ll be somone as unknown as Smith was before DW.
That said, the two names floating around that got me excited were: 1. Olivia Colman (probably only known outside the UK for playing Margaret Thatcher’s daughter Carol in The Iron Lady, but she is a brilliant comedic actress with dramatic chops) for the first female Doctor – but she was in The Eleventh Hour as the mother who got possessed by Prisoner Zero, so I’d say her chances are slim to none.
2. Julian Rhind-Tutt, who has almost exclusively been on TV in Britain (he’s had a few small movie parts) and thus is known, but not really famous. He has done comedy (Green Wing) and drama (The Hour), and, most importantly: he’s a Ginger! A sexy Ginger at that!

3 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Faye's avatar

Faye· 103 weeks ago

Just noting here, a previous role in the show doesn’t rule out a recurrence. Sixth Doctor actor previously played a Gallifreyan guard captain, who shot at Five.
Shayz's avatar

Shayz· 103 weeks ago

As Faye said, on the previous role thing, because Karen Gillan appeared in one of the episode during season 4, The Fires of Pompeii as one of the Seers (or whatever they were), before she later became Amy Pond.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

I don’t know about Six shooting Five, but Karen Gillan was pretty much unrecognizable in Fires of Pompeii, and any resemblance could have been explained by making her Amy’s distant ancestor. Which works for a companion, but the Doctor is a different animal, and Olivia Colman was pretty recognizable (and memorable, if only for the creep Prisoner teeth) in Eleventh Hour.
I did a piece on my website, with my top six choices for the next Doctor:
http://www.zekefilm.org/2013/06/01/opinion-time-f…

1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

UnderTheDark's avatar

UnderTheDark· 103 weeks ago

Oh, Siddig would be brilliant! And close enough in stature and demeanor that the change wouldn’t be too jarring for the delicate sensibilities of life-long Who fans ;p
Shocking plot twist: Wil Wheaton knows who it is because Wil Wheaton is going to be the 12th Doctor. Also, the Doctor’s real name is Wesley Crusher. And Stand By Me takes place on Trenzalor.

2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

The dead body he finds is… HIS OWN! TIME TRAVEL AAGHAGHAGHAGHAGH!!!!
Rikonius's avatar

Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

And Ace Merrill is Davros!
Rikonius's avatar

Rikonius· 103 weeks ago

On a more serious note, I think that Chiwetel Ejiofor would rock as the Doctor, and I like him a lot more than Idris Elba for the role.
I think Elba is cool, but I think he has too much of a physical presence for the role. I think the Doctor should be scary in a more nerdy manner, and I don’t see Elba pulling that off.
A Doctor with kinky boots. I could see it!

1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

His head makes the most adorable noises.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce· 103 weeks ago

If we’re going for a dream Doctor, I’d throw my vote for Sir Patrick Stewart. Back to the first Doctor’s stubborn old grandpa vibe.
Tony Todd… CANDYMAN CANDYMAN CANDYMAN!!
Nice focus pull in the split panel
Liam's avatar

Liam· 103 weeks ago

I would like to see Bill Nighy as the Doctor. He was the museum guide in “Vincent and the Doctor”.
90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

I don’t mind what colour skin he has, but the Doctor has to remain British!
Candace's avatar

Candace· 103 weeks ago

Speaking as an American, I actually have to agree with you there. I can’t even imagine a non-British actor as Doctor Who. Regarding recent speculation, I think it might be kind of fun/funny for the Doctor at some point to “wake up” as a woman (which I think is highly unlikely), but even then, the actress would have to be British, or it just wouldn’t feel right.
anxiety.junkie's avatar

anxiety.junkie· 103 weeks ago

My best friend is convinced that it isn’t just MS leaving, but they are going to end the series entirely. But she’s still bitter about the lack of a new season of Torchwood, so I think she’s projecting. I hope she’s projecting. 😛
Bron's avatar

Bron· 103 weeks ago

Its a pity in my mind that meera syal has already had a fairly prominant role in one episode as she’d make a fairly awesome doctor who.

Firstly I think we need an older doctor, someone who is more like your favourite teacher (I imagine like one of those older slightly mad science ones or maybe art or drama if you think about them (my english teachers all were ex-steel workers who were insane chain smoking nutters for some reason)) or an eccentric but fun relative when you were a child.

Secondly the female thing. The doctor mentions in “the doctor’s wife” that one of his friends a fellow timelord always had a specific tattoo put somewhere on his or her’s body. This does mean that timelords can change gender canonically. Also add into this the fact that the doctor has been seemingly having more and more violent regenerations and it could be seen as the doctor trying to repress a change he doesn’t want. Maybe he isn’t a fan of being female? Maybe he knows that a female form of the doctor is the precurser of something bad he doesn’t want to happen?

2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

In fact, as difficult as it is to fit the scene in canonically, Romana’s regeneration scene during Tom Baker’s tenure featured her trying on several different forms including that of Tom Baker (which he heartily approved of as he said he liked the look of that form). So we know a Time Lord can switch gender. The question is, which actress should take on the role?
Faye's avatar

Faye· 103 weeks ago

The form the Doctor approved of was a repeat of the first one she tried, just dressed like him – not actually regenerated into him. Romana just hid her actual face behind the scarf and hat.
I don’t like the idea that it’s Rory Kinnear, though I do like him. I DEFINITELY want it to be Idris Elba.
I really liked this comic. No opinion on Doctor Who casting, just really enjoyed reading this.
Orion M's avatar

Orion M· 103 weeks ago

I’d love Chiwetel, but I’d only love him after my crushing post-Matt Smith depression ended.

Matt Smith is leaving Doctor Who. I’LL NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN.

(Just like I would never be happy again after I got to the end of Eccleston’s run, actually. Tennant I didn’t mind leaving, it may be sacrilege in some quarters, but I wasn’t all that impressed by the end of his time.)

1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Tennant left no scenery unchewed. His turn at the end of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Firewas more understated than his last season as the Doctor.
90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek· 103 weeks ago

The wierd thing for me is Ejifor is my friend Will’s uncle. I’ll never be able to look at Will again knowing he’s part Time Lord!
I don’t mind who they cast as the Doctor really (no pun intended) as the last 3 choices have all been excellent and have been ‘the best Doctor ever’ for me, so I’ll probably enjoy whoever gets the job. I just don’t want them to do it for reasons of political correctness. “Ooh, we’ve not had a black Doctor, lets fix that!” or “It’s time we had a woman Doctor!” It shouldn’t be about skin colour or gender, just a question of who has something to contribute to the character. As long as they’re British!

We’ve had a half serious/half clownish broken man in Ecclestone. Then we had the loveable geek with a core of steel in Tennant. Finally Smith gave us a goofy toddler who’s actually a lot cleverer than he let on. What type of Time Lord should the next one be?

scribly's avatar

scribly· 103 weeks ago

All wishful thinking. Sadly enough we all know it’s going to be Jeremy Clarkson who’s going to “drive” the TARDIS from now on…

2 replies · active 103 weeks ago

Candace's avatar

Candace· 103 weeks ago

Holy crap, I never thought of that, but Jeremy Clarkson could actually be a great Doctor! I can just picture him with that evil twinkle in his eyes…I doubt he would take the role, though.
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

I can just see him wildly flipping switches in the TARDIS’ control room while it spins through time and space: “MOAR POWERRRRRRRRRRR!!!”
AmyLynn's avatar

AmyLynn· 103 weeks ago

As far as the 12 regenerations go, I remember River being concerned about him using up his regeneration on her. She spoke as if it were a quantity of energy that could be used up, not a power that could only be used a specific number of times. The writers could have added that in to redirect our attention though.
Poodles McGee's avatar

Poodles McGee· 103 weeks ago

Doctor: Wil Wheaton
Companions: Several webcomic artists/writers

I’m not kidding. I’ll take hostages to make this happen.

Jingy's avatar

Jingy· 102 weeks ago

“I also begged Chewie…”
The last time I heard a sentence starting like that, it was from someone accounting their comicon- sexcapades.
Liam's avatar

Liam· 103 weeks ago

How about an American for the Doctor?

1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Bron's avatar

Bron· 102 weeks ago

No just…. just no……

I dont think an American doctor would work for British audiences and we are still the primary market so that would be insane to do. Sorry.

An American actor could work but only if he could do a British accent that was fantastic which I can’t really remember seeing yet.

Bean's avatar

Bean· 103 weeks ago

I’d just like to say that I am 100% supportive of the idea of Hugh Laurie or Stephen Fry as the Doctor. Whoever they cast, I’d really like it to be an eccentric older person.

This is probably somewhat hypocritical of me to say, since David Tennant is ‘my’ Doctor, But enough with the Young Actors. If I wasn’t so attached to David Tennant, Christopher Eccelston would be my favorite.

1 reply · active 102 weeks ago

Bron's avatar

Bron· 102 weeks ago

I agree with the older, I think we need an eccentric curmudgeon type doctor again.

I would stop watching if it was Steven fry though, I just find him incredibly annoying.

I think that Hugh Laurie would also be a mistake he is just too well known it would be Hugh Laurie not the doctor.. I love him but I think wrong for the role.

have i missed something but i thought that john hurt was number 12? or is he number 0?

1 reply · active 103 weeks ago

Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

No, he’s supposed to be an earlier regeneration, presumably from the Time War – the one who broke the promise. At least that’s what my insanely knowledgeable DW-geeky friends say. They’re placing him between 8 and 9 (which should throw off the whole counting system, but I guess that’s all very wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey).
We’ll find out in the 50th anniversary special, I guess!
Ceri's avatar

Ceri· 103 weeks ago

Which would make my “Who, M.D.” t-shirt almost prophetic!
And if Stephen Fry gets to be his companion (like some others already suggested), we’d have Jeeves & Wooster all over again!
xero's avatar

xero· 103 weeks ago

I really can’t argue with that choice i honestly don’t have a better one
BaneDeadpool's avatar

BaneDeadpool· 102 weeks ago

The new Doctor needs to be a lesser known name. They need to be the Doctor, not a ‘whats-his-name from whatever that movie or show was who is now the Doctor’. Also, I think a cool take would to have the Doctor regenerate as a ginger woman.
Tim Roth is one I hadn’t heard mentioned in any of the speculation (until this thread), but I think he could do a really good job. His character in Lie To Me had moments of out-there-weirdness/zaniness and a LOT of intensity too. And then we’d have a Doctor who’d fought the Hulk and lived, and should therefore fear nothing anyway!
Chaucer59's avatar

Chaucer59· 99 weeks ago

I was deeply disappointed when David Tennant left (no, NOT my first Doctor–that was James Baker). I don’t think anyone before or since has so embodied The Doctor as Tennant. Matt Smith is just so…meh. I think it’s truly sad that so many outstanding scripts were wasted on an actor with less charisma than a sea cucumber and less range than William

I agree wholeheartedly with Ejiofor. He’s a brilliant choice and can go from loving to menacing and back again with aplomb. If not a black Doctor, what about a sex change? I can see it now: the Doctor Who page 3, the Doctor Who Playboy spread, the Victoria’s Secret Who line.

Everybody stop and listen to me right now!

I decided it would be awesome if, perhaps for a double-ep season finale, they fire through like 4 Doctors by the closing credits. Fall off a building, shot in the face, cut in half by a band saw, whatever. Nothing ups the stakes in a plot like the main character repeatedly paying the ultimate price to save humanity/the universe/the Queen Mum.

That would also give them the opportunity to give a few British actors the ability to play the big guy, if only for 15-30 minutes. Hows about Sir Ian Magneto with a sonic screwdriver? Companion looking on in horror at his repeated grisly deaths…

This is the greatest suggestion I have ever made on the internet. Seriously, think about it.

 

The Red Reading

Monday June 3rd was my birthday! I am 32 years old and STILL aging! If you want to say “HAPPY FANCY BIRTHDAY!” might I suggest sharing HE with your friends via your link medium of choice? Might I also point you to my Amazon Wishlist and my donation pageCELEBRATE ME FOREVER!!!

I’m really hoping George R.R. Martin’s A Game Of Thrones inspired coffee table book is just page after glossy page of arterial blood spray.

!!!SPOILERS FOR THE CURRENT SEASON OF GAME OF THRONES IN THE COMMENTS!!!

!!!PLEASE NO SPOILERS FOR THE BOOKS/SHOW BEYOND THE RED WEDDING!!!

COMMENTERS: So how about that Red Wedding? Yeesh.

Comments (34)

Wesley's avatar

Wesley· 104 weeks ago

Happy Belated Birthday Old Man!
I say that as you are only one day older than I. 🙂
Shit balls just about covers my reaction 🙂
Deinse is back!! I’m happy to see her again.
Mike's avatar

Mike· 104 weeks ago

As someone who read all 5 books the second season 1 was over, watching the reaction to The Red Wedding has been great. It’s been horrible KNOWING this was coming and hearing everyone go on and on about what a great show Game of Thrones is. Yes it’s a great show, but dayum if anybody can die at any time. All the “OMG THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE” fans forgot that fact.

1 · active 103 weeks ago

Bemmie's avatar

Bemmie· 104 weeks ago

I Had a horrible nightmare where Serenity was being renewed with Whedon directing, but it was being written by George RR Martin…Yay i’m getting my favourite characters back and oh god oh god they’re all going to die!
Candace's avatar

Candace· 104 weeks ago

Awesome! I think it’s been a while since we’ve gotten to see any HE arterial blood spray. I sort of miss that sometimes about the older HE comics, when the characters would die horribly in gouts of arterial blood spray, then be back alive and OK the next comic, kind of like a Looney Tunes cartoon, except bloodier. I realize doing that now would spoil the continuity, and I do enjoy the continuity, so glad you found a way to work in some glorious blood spray without breaking continuity. :-)Of course, it’s hard to top the climax of the artpocalyse, in which everyone was bathing in oceans of blood. That was beautiful.
It was not the worst atrocity of the Boltons. We must never forget the crimes of Lord Michael of House Bolton. His blasphemous hymns have wrought much pain.Also, you know nothing, show watchers.

1 · active 103 weeks ago

UnitedShoes37's avatar

UnitedShoes37· 103 weeks ago

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu3tcpORu31r5it…
Fear not. I will drive out the usurper and reclaim my ancestral seat and all will be right with the world.
Jason's avatar

Jason· 104 weeks ago

I’ve read all of the books and I thought that I would be prepared for this episode. Honestly, it just made it worse. I was starting to worry in the episode when Robb first planned to attack Casterly Rock. I just knew it was coming but it was still a little surprising. Robb’s wife is completely different and not pregnant in the books, so the baby maiming was just as shocking to me as it was to people experiencing the Red Wedding for the first time.
 3 replies · active 103 weeks ago
Paul's avatar

Paul· 104 weeks ago

Robb’s wife is pregnant in the books, but holed up at Riverrun with the Blackfish, and she’s Jayne Westerling, not some foreigner from across the Narrow Sea.
Jason's avatar

Jason· 103 weeks ago

Ahh. Ok. Thanks for that correction. I forgot she was pregnant.
She’s not pregnant. Or not anymore. Someone stuffed her full of moon tea to fix any possible “problems” she might be harboring.
Jason's avatar

Jason· 104 weeks ago

Spoilers for the finale!!!!!
Picard is captured and assimilated by the Borg, and the episode ends with Riker firing on the Borg Cube that has Locutus on it. Cliffhanger!
90percentgeek's avatar

90percentgeek· 104 weeks ago

I honestly didn’t see it coming! I’m avoided reading the books until after the show is finished as it’s one series I hadn’t got round to reading before they chose to adapt it for TV. I heard some muttering about ‘The Red Wedding’ and at first I thought it was going to be the Red Lady marrying someone. Only when they were all in the drinking hall and all the women rushed out of the room did I suddenly recall that old viking tradition of inviting your enemy to a feast, getting him drunk, and then charging in and killing him and all his men. At which point I suddenly couldn’t believe that Rob would be so stupid as to go into the situation without guards or without at least noticing the potential for danger!
My only consolation now is that potentially something truly horrible will happen to Joffrey!
2 replies · active 103 weeks ago
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robgonzo· 104 weeks ago

The series doesn’t play up enough the idea of ‘guest right’ that the book does. Catelyn warns Robb to make sure Frey shares “bread and salt” i.e. refreshments with them as soon as they arrive because then the Sacred Law of Hospitality is in place and he can’t hurt them. It’s just not done in Westeros.
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UnitedShoes37· 103 weeks ago

Also, they didn’t play up that Robb had guards, not that it did him any good (seriously, I just reread that chapter a few days ago. Cat mentions being so relieved that he brought two of his most trusted knights, kept them sober, and kept them fairly close to his seat. Can’t remember what happens to them after the carnage begins though)
I actually thought that it was much less grisly than the book. The slaughter of all the Stark soldiers, hundreds of bodies floating down the river and most of all the chapter ends with you thinking that Arya is dead too.Looking back, I had a similar reaction to some of the fans watching the TV show though I kept it to myself; as is required by law for English gents such as myself.
I’m not watching the show now – I have the DVDs ordered – but the TV Blackwater was about as over-the-top as they possibly could have staged, given the realities of their budget. Well, that, and the fact that the battle occurred mostly at night – you can’t get Jackson-scaled CGI overkill when it’s all torchlight and magic explosions – “Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.” The first season’s “battles” were so laughably non-existent that I honestly didn’t expect what we *did* get in the second season.
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Lfreeze· 104 weeks ago

Greywind, not Ghost.
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jasomenaso· 104 weeks ago

GOT is making Walking Dead look like sesame street!
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Jonathan H.· 104 weeks ago

Was my birthday as well, and I also turned 32. Glad you’re still with us making people laugh 🙂
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scarlettb· 104 weeks ago

My mother’s reaction when I asked her what she thought, “The CGI department has really mastered the throat-slitting effect.”
robgonzo's avatar

robgonzo· 104 weeks ago

If anyone wants to see how it goes down in the Books they should check out the Wiki of Ice and Fire. http://awoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/Red_Wedding
tl;dr's avatar

tl;dr· 103 weeks ago

I’ve watched the Game of Thrones and I have learned how it is played
I’ve seen characters rise and fall through dragons, plots, and blades
But underused the most powerful weapon still remains:
The rampant male organ of the one called Podrick Payne!Poor Ned “the Eddard” Stark thought his honor would see him through
But his attempt at Cersi-mercy merely got him screwed
Yet, would his sense of honor have left him feeling constrained
If he’d had just one night of beastly lust with Podrick Payne?Cersi and Jaime’s love broke Brandon’s back to stay hidden
And now the kingdoms are at war since these lovebirds are kin
But would their incest-driven urges still bear this war’s blame
If both these Lannisters rode, not horses, but Podrick Payne?

Theon Greyjoy was sent as ward (hostage) to Winterfell
Quoth dad: “You’ve forgot your kin!”, so he screwed the Starks as well
Yet, I propose he would have dropped the slight of kin long-slain
If his kraken got a smackin’ from the snake of Podrick Payne

King Joeffrey is a tosser-douche of the highest degree
An inbred piece of slime and filth scraped off a demon’s knee
Yet, would he . . . no, forget it, such a pairing I’ll refrain
He can’t deserve to be pleasured by Podrick fucking Payne!

The White Walkers, those buggers, killed another Stark (Benjen)
But whiney Jon Snow can’t kill them back sans obsidian
Sam DID stab one wight from behind, but still the point remains
What if he’d been stabbed in THE behind . . . by Podrick Payne?

And now we come to the events of this past Sunday’s eve
The Red Wedding (Bolton and Frey!!!) had left us all to grieve
But Walder and Roose might have relented had it been arranged
That, instead of Edmure, Robb had brought them Podrick Payne

There are characters still alive that leave us still with grins
Arya (she’s Batman!), Tyrion, Daenerys plus dragons
But all their tribulations could have been dodged and restrained
If all of Westeros had but a taste of Podrick Payne .

DuckAmuck's avatar

DuckAmuck· 103 weeks ago

Again, I say “I think it’s awesome that Arya gets to play Eddie Furlong with her own pet Terminator.”
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AdinfinitumSpero· 103 weeks ago

I don’t think that table book was as realistic as advertised , I didn’t see any white stains