Cosmic Sans

I wrote at least three different comics about “Darmok.” I am definitely making at least one of them, but I haven’t decided if I’m going to save it for later or just do it now. I also haven’t decided if I’m just going to give up HijiNKS ENSUE and FANEURYSM and just make Darmok comics every day until I’m dead. Decisions are tough. It feels like that one time… with Temba… and the arms or whatever. Metaphors are also tough.

becomepatron

As much as I love “Darmok,” I do take issue with it. Actually, I take a metric assload of issue with it. Let’s assume that at some point the Tamarians didn’t talk like stupid idiots. They HAD to have regular language at some point in order to pass down the stories that allow their metaphors to be relatable. So perhaps they gave up on coherent speech as a people at some point and the Head Tamarian In Charge said, “Guys, here me out. We all know about Darmok, and Temba, and Shaka and what they were all about and what not. How’s about when I finish THIS SENTENCE, we only speak in reference to our shared cultural stories from here on out starrrrrtiiiiiinnnnnng…. NOW?”

I’m sure it worked out great for maybe a day or two, and everyone felt super cool about their complicated new way of not really communicating very well, and how funny it was that they were super frustrating to every other species in the Galaxy, but then… THEN someone needed to find a way to say, “Hey, I think I dropped the remote behind the couch when I was vacuuming. Can you reach back there and check? I would, but you know how my back is.” Then it was just kill or be killed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Captain Dathon and his crew were the last six surviving Tamarians. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were only six of them left and they had JUST started talking this way maybe 6 weeks ago.

Of course it makes a hell of a lot more sense if you consider that maybe they only speak that way in adulthood, or in formal settings, or if they belong to a particular religion are political affiliation, or if they are high born or when they want to infuriate an uncharacteristically dense in this particular episode Starfleet Captain until they are eaten by an invisible monster in order to prove a point.

If you missed the first FANEURYSM comic, it is HERE. If you missed what FANEURYSM is all about, read this excerpt from the previous blog post:

HERE COMES FANEURYSM
I’ve decided to start making a new, supplemental comic, in the vein of the old LoFi-Jinks comics, which will serve as the comic that “comic Joel” actually makes in the HEniverse. […] I’m starting off with a few comics about Star Trek: TNG to serve as the basis for the conversation in THIS HE comic.

Check out the new comic navigation beneath the comics! 

Screen Shot 2014-04-30 at 6.32.57 PM

You can now more easily navigate between the different kinds of comics (HEFaneurysmHE ClassicLoFiGuest ComicsPhoto Comics and Con Sketches) with the “Prev. Cat” and “Next Cat.” buttons. You can also click the archive button to be taken to a list of categories with descriptions for each.

Tentaculr.

Today, Monday June 3rd is my birthday! I am 32 years older than some dumb baby that was just born today. SUCK ON THAT, BABY! I can drive and rent a car and get car insurance and… do other stuff that involves cars. If you want to say “HAPPY FANCY BIRTHDAY!” might I suggest sharing HE with your friends via your link medium of choice? Might I also point you to my Amazon Wishlist and my donation page? I might? Well, good then. I just did. CELEBRATE ME FOREVER!!!

Lar made this for my birthday because he loves me… and also he might hate me… and you… and people with eyes.

Yahoo buying Tumblr is like Napster buying Spotify. Or did Napter eventually become Spotify? After the 4th or 5th sell off and rebranding I kind of lost track. I know for a while it was a brand of pocket internet radios and vacuum sealers to keep deli meats and cheeses fresh.

It’s weird to watch a company with no real relevance or identity struggle to recapture some perceived essential usefulness in the mind of the online public that they lost a decade ago. I say it’s weird because any other company that didn’t survive the DotCom bubble and come out with billions would just disappear into total obscurity. Yahoo somehow persists, buying things people like, ruining them then wondering why we move to a different table when they sit next to us at lunch.

COMMENTERS: Are you worried Yahoo is going to ruin Tumblr? Do you care? Haven’t Tumblr users been doing a pretty good job of ruining Tumblr by themselves? Has any site, service or brand you’ve loved gotten better after a buyout?

Comments (34) 

Candace's avatar

Candace· 104 weeks ago

It looks like it might be Fritos to me. There is a long, proud tradition of putting stuff on Fritos and making something even more awesome than just plain Fritos. 😉
It’s definitely mac n’ cheese.
Tom327Cat's avatar

Tom327Cat· 104 weeks ago

No it’s not, It is Mac and Cheese and Chocolate and Vodka. Seriously Joel, you need to keep up, after all, you are writing the darn thing.
Tom327Cat's avatar

Tom327Cat· 104 weeks ago

Go with the name brands on that, You will always be disappointed buying the Kroger or Safeway stuff.
Ugh, don’t even get me started on Kirkland’s Best Mac n’ Choc n’ Vod ‘n Cheese.
Yahoo has shareholders? huh. Who knew.
I thought about being true to reality, but I decided comic Josh, like every other regular human, likes chocolate.
The good about Yahoo buying Tumblr: One less site with a poorly chosen name I have to worry about not caring about.

The bad about Yahoo buying Tumblr: I forgot.

Will Tumblr survive? Not if Yahoo tries to put their login page in front of it… Seriously.. who coded that thing? It wasn’t a code monkey (*sings* maybe manager wanna write god damn login page himself)… it’s the only page I’ve ever been to on my phone that seems to be intentionally written to be completely useless from a mobile device.

Candace's avatar

Candace· 104 weeks ago

I think Chipotle got better after McDonald’s spun them off.
I know it’s not the point of the comic but the slightly out of focus Josh in the background of panel two is amazeaballs. I love little art things like this.

1 · active 104 weeks ago

Hey thanks! I try to make it interesting to look at.
Junkyard's avatar

Junkyard· 104 weeks ago

Hah, this is fantastic! My first genuine laugh-out-loud moment from a webcomic in a while. 🙂

1 · active 104 weeks ago

I was happy with that line too.
I’ve never used Tumblr, but hearing that they are in trouble makes me glad I didn’t focus any time on it.
“Yahoo somehow persists, buying things people like, ruining them then wondering why we move to a different table when they sit next to us at lunch.”

That. is. Gold.

Happy Birthday Joel.

2 replies · active 104 weeks ago

Who else did they buy?
Most notedly flickr.
Snag's avatar

Snag· 104 weeks ago

Tumblr was ruined the moment it went live.
Kryss LaBryn's avatar

Kryss LaBryn· 104 weeks ago

Gotten better after a buy-out? Not that I’m aware of. Gotten worse? Yeah, a buy-out ruined my perfect job.

It was well-paid, and got me in amazing shape; I really liked it. But then it got bought out by a huge American, and very litigation-conscious, firm, and went straight to hell. Suddenly we all had to wear hard hats and steel toed boots, even in the parking lot, and all the middle management guys who had been fairly relaxed beforehand suddenly were (legitimately) in fear of their jobs and cracked down on us like a tonne of bricks.

This in a place where the equivalent rules beforehand went “No open-toed shoes out on the floor.” And pants, while encouraged, seemed to be pretty optional.

Yeah, I kind of hate buy-outs. Also, Cargill sucks.

It didn’t bother me when Yahoo! bought Tumblr, as I only causally use it to begin with. I am interested to see what happens though.
Ryan's avatar

Ryan· 104 weeks ago

I think you meant ensure instead of insure in the third panel.

1 · active 104 weeks ago

It’s technical, so probably most folks won’t understand it, but yeah… most of my career I’ve worked with ColdFusion. It was created by Allaire Corp which was later bought by Macromedia, who made it a whole lot better and then Macromedia was bought by Adobe who also made it a whole lot better. Each company in turn was larger and more popular than the one before and each company in turn did real well by the product.
I’m not a tumblr user or visit it very often, so I don’t have a strong opinion one way or the other (I sound like I’m from the Neutral planet from Futurama). As for a service getting better after a buyout, did youtube get better or worse after Google bought them? But troubles with cartoons aside, Disney buying Marvel really didn’t change much. They kept on like they been doing since before.

Oh, and happy birthday, Joel!

I…never really understood what Tumblr is. I don’t get it, and I shrug non-commitally, as if someone asked me about football or something.

Chipotle unsold-out. I think that’s the closest thing I can think of. Some years ago, McDonalds went through a process of tidying up, selling stocks that they did not want. So, Chipotle, who sold their stock in order to fund them in the beginning, had the golden opportunity of purging that stain upon their reputation. They seized that opportunity, and bought back that stock. Years later…soft corn tortillas and lime cilantro lime rice.

Things are looking up.

1 · active 104 weeks ago

*lime cilantro BROWN rice.
Liam's avatar

Liam· 104 weeks ago

I don’t even know what Tumbler is.

1 · active 97 weeks ago

It’s what you put rocks in to polish them.

Coming Of Age

The World Wide Web is 20! They grow up so fast. Seems like only yesterday he was sticking erotic playing cards in the spokes of his bike and now he’s graduating boner pill college and marrying a sexy sorority slut in your home town who’s waiting for you.

NEWS FROM THE FUTURE! [Posted 5/9/13]

Here are things you should know about: 

  • You can now read HijiNKS ENSUE (and a crap load of other fine comics) on the Official iOS app of webcomics, Comics Chameleon. It’s free and has a pretty slick interface and it supports the creators of the comics it displays (unlike EVERY OTHER webcomic app in the app store).
  • Phoenix Comicon is in 2 weeks (May 23-26)! I will be there with David Willis at Booth 1749.
  • Speaking of David, he is kickstarting his new Dumbing Of Age book, for which I wrote the foreword. It’s already funded, but you should back the hell out it anyway.
  • Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have an announcement regarding my involvement with the Cyanide and Happiness Show.
  • LAST THING! HijiNKS ENSUE turns 6 on Saturday (May 11). If you have an idea for a piece of HE related fan art (using any medium), I will announce a Fancy Bastard Fancy Fan Art Contest on Friday. The winner (chosen by me) will get prizes! Get to arting!

COMMENTERS: What was your very first experience with The Internet (I know the WWW isn’t exactly THE INTERNET, but hey… whatever)? What type of machine was it on? When did you first use the Internet/WWW and realize that it was going to change basically everything about how society operates?

Comments (35)

My first Interneting was most likely using AIM at a friend’s house during the summer between 8th and 9th grade. That was the first time I knew a kid with a dial up modem. I never had Internet access at my own house until I moved out on my own when I was 18. Even then, Im pretty sure I was borrowing a dial up connection that my buddy got free with his college tuition for at least 2-3 more years. My first email address was a hotmail (pre Microsoft) account created at the behest of my 10th grade photography teacher. He insisted that we all have email to get assignments then never once sent us anything electronically. I remember there being a 3 or 4 page form you have to fill out to get an email address. It seemed super official, like the IRS was involved.

1 reply · active 107 weeks ago

Conrado's avatar

Conrado · 108 weeks ago

Long time ago, maybe in 1992, I found out about this “Bitnet” thing in college (damn! I was in college in 92′! I suddenly feel old…) Next year the computer lab had several IBM Unix worksations running this “X-Windows” and there was that program… “Mosaic”… and there was this thing, the World Wide Web… and there was Lycos, and NSCA, and Yahoo Directory (actually a physical book!), and a lot of sites devoted to Doom WAD’s, and FTP, and Gopher… damn! I’m old! :p And I got my first email address… And then I became a geek…
Damn kids! Get off my web server!!
😀

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

Carlos's avatar

Carlos · 108 weeks ago

Holy cow! I started with Bitnet too. Only I was in high school at the time, which shared the computer lab with the adjacent college. Pretty soon I was all UNIX-y and started FTPing images off of the nasa.gov servers one of my high school assignments. Blew the pants off my teachers and fellow students who didn’t know you could do that. Emailing with pine followed. After that I got a chance to handle some NeXT workstations where I first started using graphical e-mail and some of the Mosaic goodness. The road to geekdom…
Lynne's avatar

Lynne · 108 weeks ago

My family got our first computer in 98 (when I was about to turn 8). We had a dial up modem, and I remember it being a really big deal whenever my mom would let me get on AOL for 30 minutes on Saturday mornings to play hangman. Sometimes she was expecting a call, though, in which case I had to wait until she was done with that.
I’m in pretty much the same boat as Conrado. I got on the college network (a VAX system) in 1990, which had an internal forum. It was either 91 or 92 when I ventured out into the wider Bitnet world (we thought those “internet” people were in a ghetto, because they didn’t have utilities like “finger”). I got on a bunch of email lists.Then, in late 92, I discovered Usenet. If you young’uns don’t know what Usenet is, go search Google Groups. Go WAY back in the archives. That’s Usenet. Fortunately, I graduated and got out of Usenet just before the Eternal September.

I was off the internet for a bit, until I went to work at an ISP in late 94. That was my first experience with the three Ws. I also learned about MUDs and shit. It’s been all downhill ever since.

Paul Turnbull's avatar

Paul Turnbull · 108 weeks ago

Earliest Internet was probably Newsgroups being imported into one of the dial-up BBS’s I frequented in the late 80s. First WWW use would be 1992 or 3 using Lynx on my university’s VAX system.And now I’m startled to realize I’ve been using the web for its entire existence. Yikes!

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

HikingViking's avatar

HikingViking · 108 weeks ago

I was a late adaptor to the interwebs, in the same way that I’m typically a late adaptor to just about everything. I started “using” in the mid 90s, but really it was more for e-mail than anything else. I had a Yahoo account, because even at that time AOL accounts were kind of sad. Actually, to this day, some of my only online snobbery comes into play when I see someone with an AOL e-mail. I’m kind of waiting for the cool kids to start getting AOL addresses as an ironic thing. And no, I didn’t have any clue at how much the WWW would change the world. Or computers for that matter. I thought it was all just another toy – a novelty that would die down. How incredibly wrong I was, and how glad I am that I was wrong.
I was ten. My school library had installed two computers with THE INTERNET which we were supposed to use to help with library things. Of course a bunch of ten years olds in those days had no idea how to use the internet to get information so we just fought over who got to use it to play Neopets which had only just launched.For some reason we all thought that pressing down the F5 key would make the internet work faster.

Getting onto Prodigy and then having absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do. It was on an old IBM 486DX machine. This would have been around 1995? Really got into it once my 50 free hours of AOL kicked in! WOO!!!
hoboken nomo's avatar

hoboken nomo · 108 weeks ago

my first memory was back when ever the AOL first came out…my old man made that whole buddy list thingie there. you know that messaging system that has evolved into every sites chat program…… i was like 9 or 10
Josh would be proud: my first chat room hook up. Brown chicken brown cow!!Side note: I so wanted those Oakleys back in the day. Thankfully I resisted.

Ali's avatar

Ali · 108 weeks ago

I was in elementary school. We had “computer class” and I think about third or fourth grade, the teacher taught us how to use Netscape Navigator and AskJeeves. There were weird things about “gopher” and whatever the other one was that wasn’t http, that I don’t remember at all, and have NEVER needed to know since, except once recently I accidentally (I don’t even remember how) typed “gopher” in my address bar and pressed enter, and my browser added a :// to it and then got confused.My parents were fairly well-off by the time having internet in your home was a thing; we already had two phone lines, plus a third line for faxes, so they got a fourth line just for the dial-up modem, and we never had to deal with the whole “get off the computer, I have to use the phone!” deal that I see people my age reminiscing about. I quite enjoyed the modem handshaking sound and was kind of disappointed when we got cable.

1 reply · active 108 weeks ago

Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 108 weeks ago

Netscape Navigator – wow, that takes me back! That was the first browser I ever used. It must have been late 1997, when I was in England at my mom’s for a few months after graduating High School. I can’t remember what I used The Net for back then, because I’m sure I didn’t have an e-mail account until I started university in 1999 (just in time for the Y2K panic!). I do remember my first visit to the crappy computer labs at my Uni – you had to queue for ages, and the computers were so. damn. slow. I remember searching in vain for the Netscape icon on their desktop, because that was all I knew. Then I just clicked the one thing that had “Internet” in the title – yes, the dread IE – and made myself a hotmail account. The Uni mail system ran on an antiquated version of Pegasus – black 8-bit letters on white, keyboard use only. Ahh, simpler times…
Oh Internet. Your a good kid sometimes.
geekbear's avatar

geekbear · 108 weeks ago

CompuServe 1982. Atari 800XL .
AOL in Geoworks Ensemble in 89.
Faye's avatar

Faye · 108 weeks ago

I don’t have an impressive story, I didn’t even get online until 1999-2000, but it does come full circle.I remember getting an hour a day on the family computer when I was growing up, and choosing to spend it on the ol’ dial up modem, playing about on MUSHes. (The same game is now deserted at the times I used to log on, thankfully I’m no longer limited to ‘an hour a day after school’.)

When I was 16, and had money of my own, I bought my very own computer, with my own dial up internet – and a much faster 56k modem! Zoom! However, it could not maintain a connection for more than 5 hours at a time. I never actually used the phone that came with the line, I only wanted the internet.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Earlier this year, I got my own ADSL2+ line set up, using the very same additional phone line I had to have installed when I got dial-up. I still mainly use it to MUSH. (Yes, people still play on those.)

There are some differences: I do a lot of other things at the same time now, like read comics. (I have a dual monitor setup, typically browser or games on one, MUSH on the other.) And I have ‘Naked’ ADSL2+, which means no phone.

Nephaline's avatar

Nephaline · 108 weeks ago

My boyfriend was studying programming in another province, back in 97, the university had a T1 gateway. Since long distance was so expensive, my parents gave me their old computer and I paid into a BBS (Billboard System) email gateway over a dial up modem, so we could communicate.
After asking for additional donations so they could upgrade, this BBS group that had been going for many years collapsed. I assume this was because the cost for individual dial up was becoming more affordable, and people were no longer interested in the BBS system. Spending & donating that money and only get a few months of the BBS made me so mad!Did not have internet until late 1999-2000 after the boyfriend got a job and his office had a line I could dial into at night, used it for free for several years.

My family bought the Bally Computer System instead of an Atari, and you could follow the booklet provided and program games on it.: http://www.glankonian.com/~lance/History.html
Back in 83 my junior high had a computer programming class, where we “learned to program” (ha! right!) on Commodore Vic 20’s. We learned a bit of basic and were supposed to make our own games, but those stupid tapes were usually faulty.

bionelly's avatar

bionelly · 108 weeks ago

Not really using it myself, but the first time I remember being made aware of the internet was in my middle school computer class. It wasn’t part of the curriculum at that point, but the teacher demonstrated sending an email to us, then said, “By the time you’re adults, you won’t be able to get a job without being able to use this, and the kids who are in kindergarten now will be better at it than you. Good luck.”
Fisrt thing I did in internet was joining IRC; it was a chat room in DALNET i remember. And it took some time for people in the chatroom to convince me that they were not bots talking. I didnt give any chance for them to be real. The operator in the room was named Scott and at that time he was like a father to me 🙂
The Web was just a novelty in 1993, the Internet was still Usenet, email, IRC, FTP, MUDs and MUSHs and so forth. At the time, the response was often “well, it’s like a GUI for Gopher, right?”The real Internet disruption of 1993 was The September That Never Ended, when the commercial internet outfits invaded the previously-mostly-academic Usenet and associated environs in the fall of 1993. Previous Septembers had been periods of barbarian invasion on Usenet as the freshmen discovered their new university accounts and were painfully socialized and civilized. In the fall of 1993, the expected invasion proved to not just be the usual passing disaster,, but was instead a never-ending flood of digital Vandals, and the somewhat insular, hippie-libertarian culture of “the Net” never really regained its bearings.

Brian's avatar

Brian · 108 weeks ago

A dead crab, she said, she said?My family didn’t have much money, so we still didn’t have a computer. My first internet experience, therefore, was WebTV. I mostly used it for associating on a Tolkien fan board. I met my wife there. I didn’t know it was going to be the big thing, but it was pretty big for me at the time.

Ceri's avatar

Ceri · 107 weeks ago

I’m looking forward to the inevitable cosplay versions of World Wide Web you will meet at conventions from now on, Joel.
(Pics or it didn’t happen.)
Mahnarch's avatar

Mahnarch · 107 weeks ago

I remember my first foray into the WWW… Computer class (94?)
My teacher and I couldn’t figure, for the longest time, why the internets HATED me!No matter what computer I went onto I couldn’t get a single site to come up. I’d switch computers with another student. They’d work “mine” perfectly, and their old computer suddenly stopped working for me…

Turns out; It’s not http://www,(comma)[websight],(comma)com…
It took us over a month to figure this out.

missmushu's avatar

missmushu · 107 weeks ago

In the mid-80’s, we had a frankensteined Apple IIe that my dad cobbled together from spare components he found in the industrial engineering lab at the university where he worked. When he took me to work with him on the weeekends, I would use the dial-up connection to send messages to my sister at home. And when I say dial-up I mean I took the phone receiver off the hook and put it in a cradle and manually rotory-dialled the number. It was like a prehistoric live chat. Good god, I’m old.
Joseph's avatar

Joseph · 107 weeks ago

I went from BBS’s to Prodigy, and then to AOL.
Bryce's avatar

Bryce · 107 weeks ago

The first internet I remember is Hunt the Wumpus. I hunted that Wumpus so hard…
Shayne's avatar

Shayne · 107 weeks ago

1985/86. Commodore Amiga 1000. I was 12/13. Mostly local Bulletin Boards (BBS). I remember when Tetris landed. I happened to be learning russian at the time. This helped greatly since the executable/installation had not been translated yet. I got it installed and my older sister monolopized the computer from then on.
StoneMaven's avatar

StoneMaven · 107 weeks ago

Oooooh, the dark ages when I’d just gotten out of college and gotten married. My sister had something miraculous called AOL at her home in Denton, and we played trivia games in the chat. Then my husband signed up for the beta-test of our local phone company. We were livin’ the high life with Pegasus Mail program and downloading crap and ignoring WAREZ spam posts off the usenet. Those were the days.
Well I’m old skool…first Internet was pre-WWW using Gopher to hack out of University to grt into UglyMUG and other multiuser games. Rainbow also, and Aminet.I’d been using the Internet a few years until the browser came along (a few years late) but there wasn’t much to see in 1995. I was more about usergroups!
Gordon's avatar

Gordon · 106 weeks ago

All about the bbs on my Commodore 64, dog!

John Carter Of Veronica Mars

I’ve been meaning to watch Veronica Mars for several years, but I’ve never actually gotten around to it. I guess I should get on that.

I’m always happy when someone finds a way to circumvent the established systems that are in place for keeping people from getting their creativity out to the people that would appreciate it. Garageband, iTunes, YouTube, Kickstarter and a host of other softwares and services (including the Internet in general) that mostly didn’t exist a decade ago exist, in part, to shake up the status quo of the creative industrial complex and break down the barriers between content creators and their fans. They also exist to make large amounts of money for their owners and shareholders.

See, that’s the thing. The systems by which creative people are given license and funds to create a thing and distribute it to their audience aren’t changing all that much. It’s just that we’re slowly removing redundancies, levels of arbitrary approvals, and decreasing the number of obsolete middlemen in order to take a 50 step process down to a 5 step one. I want to make this. Do you want it? Ok, give me money and I’ll do it and then you can have it. Here, I made it like I said I would. Thanks. That’s pretty much how it’s always been, accept now those are the ONLY steps (in most cases), instead of just the major milestones between dozens of other, smaller ones. That isn’t to say creating a thing like a show or a book or an album doesn’t require hundreds of steps, and hours and often times people. It’s just that there are fewer INDIVIDUALS that can tell you, “No. Stop this,” and you’d actually have to stop.

 The Veronica Mars Kickstarter (which funded on its first day and is currently hovering over $3 million) is a different beast than your typical crowd funded project. Instead of a person or team with an idea to make a thing, and all they need is money and time, this is a studio owned property that’s jammed up sideways with the typical Hollywood bullshit red tape. Rob Thomas doesn’t own his show, which means some WB exec said, “We’re not going to give you $2 million to make a movie for a cancelled show that no one cares about. Come at me with a pitch for an adapted fairy tale but with hot teens and we’ll talk business. Now it’s TIME FOR COCAINE!” And Rob Thomas said, “A) I do not front Matchbox 20. That is a DIFFERENT dude. And B) How about I get the Internet to give you $2 milly? Then can we do our movie?” And that exec probably replied, “SURE WHATEVER IS IT HOT IN HERE TO YOU IT’S PRETTY HOT TO ME I DON’T THINK IT WAS THIS HOT BEFORE I DID ALL THIS COOOOCAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNNNE!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGLGLGLGLG!!!!!”

I honestly forgot what I was writing about during that last part, so I’ll wrap up by saying that this is the first step in a BIG BIG change in how very expensive projects get made or whether they get made at all. There will certainly be some (probably A LOT) of people that take this idea and try to replicate its success in extremely dumb ways, but there will probably also be quite a few worthy projects that get off the ground because of it. I don’t think we’ll get a Serenity 2: Zombie Wash In Space from Kickstarter any time soon, but I bet we get a few more proper finales to some unduly truncated TV shows. It’s a BIG baby step in the right direction.

COMMENTERS: First off, are you psyched for this Veronica Mars movie? Did you love the show or overlook it as “Buffy without monsters” like I did? Second thing: What property do you think would best benefit from a Kickstarter resurrection? A cancelled show, a long rumored and eventually shelved movie project? A video game sequel that never happened?

You Ain’t Got To Lie, Craig

NEWT FOR PRESIDENT!!! GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BITCH!!!

funny scifi parody t-shirt newt 2012 newt for president t-shirt aliens ripley scifi parody

I wish there was even an ounce of exaggeration in this comic. Of the last 20 things I’ve sold on Craigslist the other party has flaked out with no reply or response of any kind at least 15 times. Some of them have gone so far as to schedule a pickup time and place and simply not show. You… you just can’t do that to people. You can’t just fuck with peoples’ lives like that. I mean, you KNOW I am sitting in that Target parking lot off the freeway and you don’t even bother to let me know that you just aren’t coming? That’s sociopathic behavior. That’s worse than murder and should be punished accordingly.

One guy went as far as to tell me he was coming to get whatever I was selling (probably something computer related), call me when he was on the way, call me AGAIN telling me he was close and STILL NOT SHOW UP! What happened to him? Was he kidnapped by a family of Yeti? Was he completely incased in cement and buried on the Moon? Did he simply just cease to be? WAS HE EVER REAL TO BEGIN WITH?! IS CRAIGSLIST EVEN A REAL THING?! Oh, right… all those hookers got murdered, so it must be real. But that hooker murderer went to jail. These flake-out, no-show pieces of shit just get to go on with their merry, narcissistic lives. That isn’t justice and it isn’t America. In the Founding Fathers’ day, if you placed an ad in the local almanac offering to trade your silver smithery services in exchange for a gently used ox yoke or a half hour of discrete accompaniment to the alley behind Ye Olde Denny’s and you didn’t hold up your part of the bargain, they would chop your head off with a crossbow! Do you know how long that would take? A really god damn long time.

My daughter has been drawing characters from the Tiny Titans comics and I have been posting them on my Tumblr. They are, in a word, cutedorable.

Some website is doing a webcomics March Madness with over 100 comics. I am on the list and I am currently against a comic called Trenches. I only know of about 10 comics on the list, and I don’t care about the outcome, but it’s neat to see your friends win stuff, even if it’s silly. Go vote or whatever.

COMMENTERS: Am I alone? Is it just me? Does my email give off some kind of “I am not a person and do not serve common courtesy” vibe? Have you ever had this experience with Craigslist, eBay or any other type of classified ad situation? What about crazy Craigslist stories? Do you ever think people buy cheap stuff on Craigslist just to case your house for eventual home invasion? No? Just me? Well you do now.