Outnumbered 2.35 To 1

BIG ASS 11×17 PRINTS ARE IN THE HIJINKS ENSUE PRINT SHOP

You can even get a big ass print of the Doctor Who/ MST3K comic

I know I’m a late adopter, but I just got my first Blu-Ray player in December. Having amassed and subsequently ripped/server stored/eBay’d a rather sizable DVD collection, I thought I was done purchasing movies via physical media. I bought the player mostly for Netflix, but seeing as it was there and that it had all those P’s (1,080 of them to be precise) I figured I might as well start re-acquiring A) My most favorite/ infinitely rewatchable movies (your Lebowskis, Ghostbusters, Princess Brides, Backs To Futures and such) and B) My most favorite gorgeous/visually stunning films (your Avatars, Fireflied Serenities, various Pixar’d Cartoonicals, Lords Of Some Rings,  and what not). On a lark I threw up about 25 movies on my Amazon wishlist and shit-in-my-biscuits if’n they weren’t nearly all purchased by your magnificent Fancy Bastards within a couple of weeks. Merry happy to me! It was the highest def’d Xmas I’d ever had! Many of them were sent anonymously or only with first names, so if I didn’t thank you directly please know that I am extremely grateful.

A couple of very nice FB’s got me the Lord Of The Rings (Extended) Blu-Ray set for the very Blackest of all Fridays (before we even had the Blu-Ray player), and my wife and I just sat down to watch Fellowship this weekend. I know I am a heretic, but I HAD to zoom that shit in. I can’t stand seeing the black bars taking up 1/3 of my TV. I’m just the type that would much rather see a full 16:9 picture than know exactly what the rest of that one Orc’s shoulder looks like before he movies fully into frame. I realized this type of zoom-happy behavior is a dealbreaker for many of your videophiles, but having crossed the threshold of fatherhood and 30-year-old-hood I find myself giving less and less of a shit about “BUT THAT’S NOT THE RIGHT WAY TO NERRRRRRD!!!” and more about comfort, ease of use and simplicity. Zooming in my Blu-Rays to fill the screen is basically the entertainment equivalent of staying in sweatpants all day. Sure, it doesn’t look as nice, but who’s really gonna know besides me?

COMMENTERS: Is there a particular “accepted nerdy way” of doing things that you just refuse to bend on? Do you rip all your audio in lossless codecs? Do you get twitchy when you see that someone’s surround sound speakers are improperly placed [raises hand]? Have you ever managed to unburden yourself from any of these behaviors to positive results?

All HijiNKS Ensue wallpapers are now available on a “Pay what you like” donation basis. Please consider donating to support HijiNKS Ensue.

TO CURRENT VAULT SUBSCRIBERS: I am currently reworking the Vault and the incentives for donations. I have some really fun stuff to announce, hopefully later this month.

What Is The Deal With Airline Peanuts?

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you!

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

While I wait for TBS to complete its inevitable transition into the “24 Hour Seinfeld Rerun Network” I satiate my need for unlikable characters dissecting the minutia of the human experience with the paltry 3 to 4 hours blocks of daily programming they currently provide. Seinfeld is one of those shows, like Newsradio, that I find to be infinitely rewatchable. Last week I was about 3 episodes deep into a Seinfeld binge when it dawned on me that nearly every premise, every complication, every problem these characters experience has been rendered moot by the modern smart phone.

Take the exact same characters and pose them with the same situations in 2012 and each episode would be about 4 minutes long, if not zapped out of existence entirely. “Are you sure we’re going to the right movie theater?” Check Elaine’s original txt, then Google Map it. “Where did I park my car in this parking garage?” Pardon the phrase, but there’s an app for that. Couple in the Hamptons wants you to see their ugly baby? Check the photos they posted on Facebook before you bother making the trip. Have you ever stopped to think about how much of Seinfeld involves getting lost? Or just not having access to a specific piece of information? In the age of the smart phone the show basically becomes the story of 4 extremely organized friends who rarely miscommunicate, have misunderstandings, or get lost.

If you examine this idea deeper the whole concept of Seinfeld really starts to unravel. Jerry, as a comedian, would never waste his witty lines on George when he could post them to his 150,000 Twitter followers. Eventually he would sell a sitcom to CBS based on his popular @ShitKramerSays Twitter account. George would be able to more successfully impersonate a marine biologist, an architect or even an importer/exporter having constant access to Wikipedia. As for “the contest,” well… for four sex-obsessed narcissists with constant access to pocket-pornography and 4G data connections, I don’t see any of them ever proposing this bet or having any interest in participating in it.

COMMENTERS: What other Seinfeld plot ideas fall apart when you add smart phones, or even the Internet to the equation? What about other classic sitcoms? Assuming they were trying to make Seinfeld today, what modern minutia would Jerry obsess over? Maybe the girl he’s dating posts too many cat pictures on Facebook. Or maybe she posts AS HER CAT. Would Kramer and Newman start one failed e-business after another? Would George freak out that his parents read his Twitter?

The Red And Blue Glasses Of Westmarch

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt, Funny Doctor Who Parody Shirt, Charlie Brown, Sci-Fi

Nothing says, “I bought you some stuff from the Internet,” like buying people stuff from the Internet. 

HijiNKS ENSUE At Austin ComicCon - Wizard World Austin

AUSTING COMIC CON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! [MORE INFO]
November 11-13 at the Austin Convention Center! Look for me in the artist alley. 

The problem with 3D technology in modern cinema is that is it usually an unnecessary add-on designed to create false buzz and inflate ticket prices. Sure, occasionally a pick-axe or severed appendage will fly out of the screen and into your face, but it doesn’t really add anything to the overall experience. Say what you will about Avatar, but seeing that film in 3D was an experience unto itself. It truly was beautiful and it felt nothing like just “seeing” a movie. It felt like living through an event. I actually read that well-done 3D can trick your brain into storing movies in the place that it would normally store memories of real events. That said, most 3D movies trick your bain into spending money on them, sitting through them then storing the memories in the same place you lock away 4th grade wedgies, 5th grade accidental farts during book reports and 10th grade atomic wedgies.

Avatar showed us what 3D can be in the hands of someone that views it as a story telling medium unto itself, rather than just a gimmick. After watching Peter Jackson’s recent The Hobbit video diary, I feel like we might not be so quick to dismiss 3D as a flash in the pan studio money-grab. The tech he is developing and the techniques they are using to create The Hobbit are truly astounding. First of all they are shooting at 48 FPS (movies are 24FPS and we see around 60FPS) at 5K! That’s nearly 5 times more information than our best HD, being recorded at twice the frame rate. He says in the video that people equate viewing the footage to having the back of the theater cut out, and just watching real event happening on the other side. If that doesn’t get you excited, then your mind has surely been warped and twisted by Sauron. Also, by the last few Final Destination and Saw movies.

Perhaps we should start regulating what movies can and can’t be shot in 3D. Maybe there should be a test, or a review panel consisting of James Cameron, Peter Jackson and “Weird” Al Yankovic.

COMMENTERS: PLEASE WATCH THAT PRODUCTION DIARY! Ok, now are you feeling any sort of increased enthusiasm about 3D? If not, why? Where do you want to see this tech go? Obviously every movie doesn’t need to be in 3D. Where do we draw the line?

Indistinguishable From Magic

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!!

Show Us On The Trilogy Where George Hurt You - funny star wars t-shirt, george lucas shirt, star wars parody

All I know is that if you say, “Siri, call me Butt Commander,” it will reply thusly, “From now on, I’ll call you Butt Commander. Ok?” That alone is worth the price of entry.

COMMENTERS: Those of you with the iPhone 4s, are you actually using Siri? Is it a novelty or the beginning of our transition into a Star Trek reality. What would you like to see Siri evolve into (what functionality would you like to see added to the platform?) Have you gotten any surprising answers to your Siri-queries? When we were in New York this weekend, my friend Rob told Siri, “I want to see some boobs,” to which she replied, “Ok, there are 17 strip clubs in your area.”

Guest Comic By Paul Southworth Of Not Invented Here

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt which you can purchase now over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

NYCC Guest Week has started!

I am going to be at New York Comic-Con with Blind Ferret at Booth #1821 this weekend  (10-13 to 10-16). Come say hi with your mouth and purchase things with your money. I will be giving out free “Sci-Fives” all weekend [the hand gesture, not the t-shirt].

Joel Watson of Geek webcomic HijiNKS ENSUE at New York Comic Con 2011

Paul Southworth of Not Invented Here starts off guest week right by trying to convince us all that people actually watch videos of other people playing Internet blocks Minecraft… wait, what? That’s a real thing? Well, holy shit. You learn something questionable every day.

Paul has one of the most unique art styles in webcomics. I’ve always envied his ability to create characters with uniquely shaped body types and non-standard proportions. He isn’t confined by realism and that allows him to draw characters that are actually fun to look at. His style is like a curvier Gendy Tartakovsky. It’s something my brain absolutely will not let me do. Now he has gone so far as to show me what MY OWN CHARACTERS would look like if I knew how draw them correctly. That miserable sonuvabitch.

A million years ago I did a guest comic for Paul’s now concluded comic Ugly Hill. You can see more great HijiNKS ENSUE Guest Comics by other awesome artists HERE.

COMMENTERS: Do you do this Minecraft video thing? Feel feel to post yours or your favorites in the comments.