Green And Yellow, Black and White

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

[Posted 6/21/11 ] This weekend we finally celebrated my 30th birthday, so I am a bit behind on comics. I will let you interperet how those two things are related in whichever way you choose. Thank you to my friends that helped me celebrate and especially to Josh IRL and Jeff for hosting the whole thing and for their tremendous generosity.

So I guess Green Lantern is pretty terrible, huh? Oh well. At least Hal Jordan has a new pal he can trust forever. I wonder what Sinestro means on his planet. I’m sure it’s something totally innocuous like “wisdom,” “truthful” or a abstract term that translate loosely into English as “the color of blood in the moonlight from a neck slit by the knife of a former friend.”

Commenters: Feel free to post your GL movie thoughts. I feel like anyone that REALLY wants to see this movie already has, so let fly the spoilers of war.

Batmanagement

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!
ALSO: Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.
ALSO ALSO: I am closing out some current t-shirt and print designs. Please check out this blog post since the stuff on closeout probably won’t be available again.

Man, running a company is hard! You’ve got to deal with supply and demand, and keeping employees motivated, and making sure the break room has the snacks everyone likes (and some of them are sugar free because that one guy in payroll has diabetes), and how sometimes your history and/or future gets rewritten by a major crossover event and also everyone has these new collars (even Wonder Woman who doesn’t even technically have a shirt, so how does she have a collar? I guess it’s more of a choker + battle bustier combo…) so that’s just one more damn thing to deal with. Plus your assistant wants a raise, but she can’t even really use Excel, and she’s always telling the dry cleaner “no starch” in your capes, but you NEED STARCH (you’ve told her 100 times) OR YOU CAN’T GLIDE from rooftop to rooftop… BUH! It’s too much! Sometimes you wish you could just start over fresh, with fresh choices and a new continuity (maybe one where your parents aren’t so dead), and a new collars and… oh wait.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to discuss DC’s “Flashpoint” crossover/event/arch/reboot/whatever. Also, what else goes on in the day to day workings of Batman, INC? Is the Batcopier out of Battoner again? Does the boss sneak up behind you and scowl from the shadows when you’re goofing off on Facebook? Does he keep giving the sweet promotions to his son, Damian, when you’ve put in WAY more hours and are TOTALLY more qualified?

X-Europeans

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

I am closing out some current t-shirt and print designs. Please check out this blog post since the stuff on closeout probably won’t be available again.

Rejoice nerds. Our long national nightmare is over. X-Men: First Class has wiped clean the stains left on the X-Movie Franchise by X-Men 3: Frasier Beast and X-Men Original Recipe: Wolverine. It really is that good. Before I get to the good, I will quickly dispatch with the bad. As stated in the panels above, the films Americanizes ALL of the non-American characters from the comics. This seems like a very strange and totally unnecessary choice. The X-Men were always supposed to be an international collective, representative not of any one country, but of the world. It’s supposed to be mutants v. humans, not americans v. everyone else. Since the plot of the movie revolves around the cuban missile crisis, I wonder if they did this to place emphasis on the American/Russion conflict. This doesn’t ruin the movie, but it will leave longtime X-Fans confused. The other major gripe I have it will Emma Frost. The casting, the writing, and the characterization are just wrong. She comes off in the film as a tarty, sexy, fun-loving, bond girl. Where is the stone cold fake-British-accent-sporting bitch we all love to hate/love? [NOTE: I admit I am primarily familiar with the Emma from Astonishing X-Men and realize she might have been portrayed differently in the past or in other titles, perhaps without an accent at all.] January Jones (who until recently I assumed was Blake Lively), either can’t act or just doesn’t want to. Again, these are small gripes that only slightly detract from an otherwise fantastic movie.

Now for the good. The rest of it… is the good. Michael Fassbender as Magneto OWNS this movie. While I adored Ian McKellan’s portral of the master of magnetism, it was clear we were seeing a battle weary version of Magneto in his twilight years. He was more concerned with playing general to his various henchmen than getting into the thick of things himself. He was probably on a 2-3 bottles of Ensure a day habit and likely went to bed around 8pm, right after “The Wheel” went off. The Magneto we see in First Class is in his prime. He’s an assassin, a fucking unstoppable badass. And his friendship/idealogical struggle with Charles Xavier really balance out his all consuming need for revenge. Speaking of accents, Fassbender’s Irish accent pops out towards the end of the film during a few moments of impassioned speech.

There are parts of the film that feel like it should be called X-Position Men. Characters pick their codenames, give their backstories or drop an unusual amount of backstory in a very short of amount of time, but you can’t really fault them for trying to bring the average movie goer up to speed quickly in order to move the plot along. Some of it feels ham-fisted, like when Mystique says, “I want to be called Mystique and you should be Professor X!” But most of it goes over just fine. I also applaud the filmmakers for establishing quite clearly that the movie takes place in the 1960’s but somehow keeping everything mostly decade agnostic. It doesn’t feel like a period piece which keeps things more relatable. Final verdict: GO SEE IT. Fun times.

COMMENTERS: Did you see X-Men: First Class? What did you think? Do you hope they continue the franchise in this timeline?


In Loving Memory

Ovipositor Shirts ONLY $11!!! Last Chance Probably Forever!!!

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

HEY! Here’s a dumb thing I thought of on the couch last night. Heading off to see Bridesmaids with Josh. I hear it’s really good. Like sort of a “Lady Hangover” but not just for ladies. If this movie is a hit can we start calling it The Hangovaries?

Commenters: What other tattoos does Batman have? What about other super heroes? You figure Robin has to have a tramp stamp. The way he shakes that little ass around. Yeah, he knows what he’s doing.

Conspiracy

Ovipositor Shirts ONLY $11!!! Last Chance Probably Forever!!!

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

Alternate Title: Look, Up In The Sky. It’s A Flightless, Tightless Bird!
Alternate Mad Magazine Title: The Red-Blue BLECH!

Ten years later and all I have to say is, “Fuck you Smallville. Fuck you right in the eye.” I posted something on Twitter about how watching the series finale of Smallville was like taking your last, tar-filled drag on the day they stopped making cigarettes. I think that about sums it up. I’ve always know it was bad for me, and no good could come from it. I knew that I was hurting myself and, more importantly, the ones I loved by indulging in such a self-destructive habit week after week. The only way I was able to break free of its toxic hold on my life was to surrender the choice to a higher power. Namely the CW executives that cancelled the show. They have cut off the supply chain for this particular brand of poison and relieved me of the need for personal courage or strength. I am still a broken shell of a man, but at least I can’t continue to feed the monkey on my back. His banana boat has sailed… Ok, that metaphor was pretty weak, but you get the point.

I was going to write something about how you shouldn’t mourn Smallville (even for the guilty pleasure) in the same way you don’t mourn the passing of someone who’s been ravaged by cancer for a decade. When the end comes you are just happy they aren’t suffering any more. Then I realized Smallville wasn’t the patient… I was. Smallville was the disease. Then I got sad. Then I ate some cookies. There was a whole shame-spiral thing.

Regarding the above comic: The timeline is pretty weird right? I mean I know it’s a total coincidence, by damn. Two great evils, two pock marks on our nation, filling our hearts and minds with fear, existing side by side for almost exactly the same ten year span. That shit is bizarre.

Another thing: My friend Sam revealed his next, groundbreaking project in this blog post, which I had a small part in creating at TCAF. It is both terrifying and your new favorite internet thing.

COMMENTERS: We are talking about doing an All-Smallville podcast this week. Sort of a soul-colonic to rid our bodies of the toxins left by a decade of exposure to radioactive sadness. If you have topics or questions you would like addressed in the comments, feel free to post them there. Otherwise, feel free to post anything you like about Smallville in general or the finale. Finale spoilers are fine. This is a safe place.

!!!COMMENTS MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE SMALLVILLE SERIES FINALE!!!