Cloudy With A Chance

The Fancy Sketch Drive is on! About 50/100 are already sold. Get in on this and help support me in a time of financial need while getting some sweet original art! I will draw damn near whatever you want (within reason) and I will do it live on Ustream (UPDATE: Due to a dead router I was unable to Ustream Friday. Going to try again Saturday).

Donors and subscribers are getting the first HE iBook/eBook. Drop a few bucks in the bucket and check it out for yourself. Take HE offline wherever you go!

San Diego Comic-Con is next week! I will be hanging out at booth 1332 with Blind Ferret. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE.

Check out this board game my daughter and I made! You can download a PDF and play it with your kids.

This comic picks up from here, when Eli was trying to recover his buried “rememberies” of the night his helicopter… apparently didn’t crash. What the hell happened that made him go on a two week bender of drunk-bauchery? I suspect we’ll find out more when Joel looks up how to hypnotize someone on the Internet and starts monkeying around with Eli’s fragile, gelatinous brain parts.

COMMENTERS: What’s the craziest thing you ever did, or anyone ever did TO you to try to get you to break a bad habit?  I have a friend who has tried to quit smoking at least a dozen times over the last 10 years. Once when we were in our early twenties I took his entire pack of cigarettes and wrote “I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!” on every one of them in red pen. He noticed it the next morning and threw them away NOT because he was going to quit, but because he didn’t want to inhale the ink from the pen. Formaldehyde was fine, but ink? Hell no. That shit is gross.

Booty-Call Accelerator

The Fancy Sketch Drive is on! About 25/100 are already sold. Get in on this and help support me in a time of financial need while getting some sweet original art! I will draw damn near whatever you want (within reason) and I will do it live on Ustream!

Donors and subscribers are getting the first HE iBook/eBook. Drop a few bucks in the bucket and check it out for yourself. Take HE offline wherever you go!

San Diego Comic-Con is next week (holy shit)! I will be hanging out at booth 1332 with Blind Ferret. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE.

The first few HE comics, like the Higgs Boson announcement, are actually lettered in Comic Sans. I never changed the font in those early comics as a way to remind myself where I’d come from and what mistakes I had made. Those were dark times. Times when a man could get a newsletter from his dentist that had Comic Sans all over it. Right in his mailbox. AT HIS HOUSE! Sure, he might see Papyrus in the logo of a local spa or nail salon, but no one should have to deal with such fonts at the place where their children sleep. Dark times indeed.

So I guess the Universe gets to keep on having mass or whatever. S’pretty cool I guess. I mean, the Higgs Boson is neat and all, but I’m saving my excitement for when someone figures out why almost all of everything in the Universe isn’t actually there. I feel like maybe 100% to more than 100% of our resources as a people should be spent on unraveling that particular mystery, because personally it crushes my brain out of existence.

COMMENTERS: If we have sent the Declaration of Independence to England in Comic Sans, I’m pretty sure we’d all not be pronouncing out H’s. So what does a person or product have to do in order for you to immediately NOT take them seriously? Is it specific to your field or area of expertise (ie Is is something most people wouldn’t immediately notice)?

You Can’t Take This Guy From Me

HijiNKS ENSUE eBook iBook iJinks Ensue Drawing Hands Is HardIf you are a Donation Subscriber, you are A) one of my favorite people, and B) going to get an email today with a link to download the first HijiNKS ENSUE iBook/eBook. It’s called iJinks Ensue: Drawing Hands Is Hard, and it contains all of the HE comics from 2007-2008 plus some neat extras at the end.

It will be in iBooks format for iPad and PDF format for everything else. My wife and I have worked CRAZY hard on it, so I really hope you guys enjoy it and understand how much I appreciate your donations. If you are not a donation subscriber and don’t plan to be ($2 a month? C’Mon!), you will be able to get my eBook offerings on a pay-what-you-want donation model starting later today.

Looks like you’re going to have to wait at least one more day to find out what repressed “rememberies” Eli was starting to uncover.

I doubt I will get to see the Firefly panel at SDCC since people are probably already in line for it, but thinking about their “huge announcements” has sent me down a certain train of thought. Has anyone else seen Tron: Uprising on Disney? Can’t you imagine a Firefly/Serenity animated series done exactly in that style? The visuals look serious enough that you can take the story seriously. Does that make sense? And it wouldn’t cost $20 million an hour like the movie did. If the crew can never be reassembled for TV or features again, and the occasional comic just isn’t cutting it, doesn’t animation seem like the most logical choice for carrying on the verse?

Speaking of SDCC: Due to booth problems beyond my control I will not actually have a spot to sit, but I will be hanging out at the Blind Ferret booth (1332) throughout the weekend. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE. Despite the lack of a table I will find a way to do sketches for you. I’ll probably bring a little collapsable stool or something. NEVER GIVE UP! I WILL SKETCH FOR YOU!

Speaking of sketches, money is EXTREMELY tight in HijiNKS land right now, so I am going to do a live sketch drive this week. Starting tomorrow you’ll be able to order custom sketch cards from this site and I will draw them (whatever you requested withing reason) live on Ustream with times to be announced on my Twitter. I’ll probably limit them to 100, but if it’s a success I’ll do it more often.

COMMENTERS: What do you hope they announce at the Firefly 10 year anniversary panel at San Diego Comic-Con? Realistically and in your wildest imagination? How about my animated series idea? How would you see that playing out?

Sokath, His Eyes Uncovered!

George R.R. You Done Yet? Shirt, A Game Of Thrones Parody Funny Shirt George R.R. Martin

New shirt at Sharksplode! George R. R. You Done Yet? It’s nearly winter! 

A helicopter crash? That’s it? That’s what Eli has been nonstop drank-facing about for weeks? Sounds like somebody can’t hold his horrific near death traumas. Oh, does baby need a toxic level of alcohol in his system to repress the memories of falling from the sky in a 10 ton exploding murder cage with multiple rotating death blades? Here, baby. Let me put that booze in an itty-witty bottle for baby. Baby. Dumb, stupid baby had himself a psychotic break. Dumb baby.

Things for you to know about, look at and do:

The first HE iBook/eBook type thing is nearly done. Just adding in the extras and writing up the intro. You can see the cover and get more info here.

The FB FB’s (Facebooked Fancy Bastards) seem to be enjoying the HE Fancy Bastard Facebook Group. Come join us for nerdy discussions without all that Internet meanness and pointless arguing.

I’ve been reposting all of the previously locked content from The HijiNKS ENSUE Vault over in my Tumblr under “The Vault Redux.”

Fans of The Experiment: My wife and I are embarking upon a second experiment. She is starting a photo restoration and photo retouching business. You can see her website HERE. Please feel free to pass her URL along to anyone you know that might need damaged photo repaircosmetic touch ups in photosremoving someone from a photoadding someone to a photocolor correcting a pictureblack and white / color effects or photo colorization, or just general Photoshop image manipulation.

COMMENTERS: The title for this comic comes from one of my favorite episodes of Star Trek: TNG called “Darmok” about a species that speaks only in colloquial metaphor based on knowledge of their shared history and mythology. Assume some great cataclysm befalls humanity and in 500 years we’re all speaking metaphorese based on geek pop culture. Please come up with some common phrases and their translation or usage. For example: “The Dude, his rug pissed on,” to convey a feeling of indignation or injustice. Or “Bill and Ted at the battle of the bands,” to convey a most triumphant, non-heinous moment of… triumph (meeeedly meeeedly squeeeedly reeewwwrrrr!). Bonus points if you can come up with an entire conversation without explaining it. 

This Is A Safe Place

George R.R. You Done Yet? Shirt, A Game Of Thrones Parody Funny Shirt George R.R. Martin

Sometimes you have let the one’s you love know how their path to self destruction is really inconveniencing you. Other times you have to say, “F-Balls to that!” and go grind your man-bits (Tim Bits if you’re Canadian) right into another man’s pants-parts while the sweet sounds of oontz-oontz-oontz rhythmically lull you into the waiting appendages of anonymous club sex. You know how it goes.

I’m not entirely sure Eli actually needs an intervention. I suspect something much more sinister is behind his recent constant drankishness. Or maybe he’s an alcoholic. I guess we’ll see.

Oh, and Oreo? You didn’t have to do anything to make me love you more than all other cookies, but it’s nice that you tried.

The initial Preorder for the Lil’ Wil Wheaton plushie ends on 6/30/12. If you definitely want one before the holidays, NOW is the time to order.

The first HE iBook/eBook is nearly done. You can see the cover HERE. Donation subscribers will get it for free. Everyone else will be able to get it for a pay-what-you-like donation.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever intervened for a friend or family member on a NON-life threatening problem? Ever gotten up the courage to tell a room mate they needed to bathe more often, or that eating nothing but Romen noodles was going to kill them? I guess that IS life-threatening. I once flat out told a guy (friend of a friend, but not MY friend) that he couldn’t come into our apartment any more because he reeked so terribly if cigarettes that it made my eyes water and and my allergies go nuts. He remained not my friend from that day forth.