A Good Day To Buy

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

Thanks to Lar, who inspired this comic via a twitter exchange a couple of weeks ago. Lar has some AMAZING prints for sale, including all 11 Doctors as totes adorbs bunnies.

There is a sort of reality distortion field for geeks that tends to envelop them and dampen their higher cognitive functions at events such as ren faires, comic-cons and… places where nerdy things are for sale. The example I always use is the one where you’re at a ren faire and you convince yourself that you REALLY NEEED an 11 foot tall driftwood wizard staff topped with a pewter dragon clutching a power crystal. I mean it’s only $200, and it’s basically one of a kind, and it would look SO BAD ASS propped up in the corner of your apartment between your alabaster Middle Earth chess set and your replica Xena shuriken/Gabrielle bowstaff. It seems like such a fantastic and fiscally responsible idea until you walk back to the parking lot and the reality distortion field fades.

I know some of you are able to get these items home and feel very good about your purchases, but for me they are just buyers remorse waiting to happen. I’ve never allowed myself to purchase something expensive that doesn’t actually do anything. I want to, believe me. I’ve just never had that kind of disposable income, or unclenched long enough to allow myself that kind of indulgence. I’ve had friends who own fantastic movie props, replica swords and lightsabers, hyper realistic costumes, etc but I’ve never been able to partake myself. I met a guy at Comicon San Diego last year that owns the largest private collection of BSG props (including most of the CIC) and I thought “GODS how awesome it must be to come home and be surrounded by that stuff… and FRAK ME that money could have payed so many bills!” I really think he’s the one that has the right idea. Him and the guy with the wizard staff and the lady with $3500 Serenity model with the blinking lights are the ones that know how to have fun.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever made such a purchase? Did you regret it or revel in it? What Bat’leth type item do you covet? I can’t go through those Harry Potter gift catalogs without having to convince myself that I don’t need Voldemort’s wand, a time turner and a golden snitch for my mantle.

A bunch of webcomic creators, including myself, donated items for the World Builders charity auction/lottery. They help families in 3rd world countries to be able to feed and clothe themselves through giving them goats, chickens, cows and such. Read more on Patrick Rothfus’s blog.

UPDATE 01/25/12: You can now purchase a super high quality 11×17″ print of any HE comic by clicking the “Buy A Print” button between the “Previous” and “Next” buttons in the navigation menu. If you don’t see it, try refreshing your browser cache.

CHICAGO and CALGARY Fancy Bastards: I am coming for you! I will be at C2E2 April 13-15 and Calgary Expo April 27-29 with Blind Ferret.

Guest Comic By Sam Logan Of Sam & Fuzzy

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]


NYCC Guest Week is in full effect!

I am at New York Comic-Con with Blind Ferret at Booth #1821 this weekend  (10-13 to 10-16). I will trade awkward stares for confusing winks and t-shirts, sketches, prints and books for stacks and stacks of monies. I will be giving out free “Sci-Fives” all weekend [the hand gesture, not the t-shirt].

Joel Watson of Geek webcomic HijiNKS ENSUE at New York Comic Con 2011

Sam Logan of Sam and Fuzzy understands my struggle. It isn’t enough to just juxtapose two elements of pop culture and wait for the delicious LOLs to roll in. You have to find a reason WHY the juxtaposition is funny. The equation must have a result other than “I know both’o thems things.” It’s not enough to say, “What if Batman was in Starfleet?” Because he would… wait… what IF Batman WAS in Starfleet?! I… I have have to go start a new comic.

Sam Logan has the unique distinction of being one of the 4 or 5 Canadians I know. He also makes essentially the best Harry Potter T-shirt the word has ever seen, and draws caves like nobody’s business. Not to mention he is one of my favorite convention buddies in all of comicdom. I take immense pleasure in improving his merchandise, and helping his create horrifying characters [scroll down to the blog post] and t-shirts that no one would ever want.

COMMENTERS: Following Sam’s example, come up with your own terrible pop-culture mashup. Puns are encouraged. Actually being funny for the right reasons is not.

Warp Factor 1080p. Engage.

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this Three Wheaton Moon shirt. You can buy it! Then you can wear it! Only two steps to total geeky happiness? Sign me up!

Three Wheaton Moon T-Shirt, Funny Three Wolf Moon Parody, Wil Wheaton T-Shirt, 3 Wil Wheaton Moon, Clown Sweater, Wesley Crusher, Evil Wil Wheaton

I was super excited to hear that Star Trek: TNG was finally coming to Blu-Ray in HD. They are going back and scanning the original film stock and re-editing each episode to match the original. The thing I am having trouble with is that they are supposedly replacing all of the special effects with CG. Does that mean they are going to trash the beautiful starship models in favor of a CG Enterprise? I know they did that with TOS a few years back, but that wasn’t MY Star Trek, so I didn’t really care. Now I’m wondering of replacing the amazing model work in TNG is a distrespectful Lucas-izing of the series. I know the HD scenes mixed with blurry model shots, poorly blue screened onto backgrounds wouldn’t make for a cohesive viewing experience, but it still seems a bit wrong to me. Oh, hey! That was me turning old. I am old now. Where are my turnips?

UPDATE: It looks like they are going back to the original model shots and recompositing them. So no CG Enterprise as far as I can tell. It actually looks pretty fantastic.

A THING: After a power surge last week, my file server (the one that holds all of my HE-related files) died (despite being plugged into a heavy duty surge supressor). The drives were OK but I have to buy a new enclosure ($150) to access them over my network. The same day I found out a miscalibration of our sprinkler system made our water bill for this month $200 more than we were expecting. So $350 I don’t really have just flew out the window. If you were considering donating to support HijiNKS ENSUE, doing so now would be SUPER APPRECIATED.  Donors get access to all of the desktops, audio and other goodies in The Vault. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access.

Thanks!
~Joel

 

There’s No Basement On The Enterprise

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

There also aren’t any bathrooms.

Last night Wil tweeted a bit about watching Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. It reminded me a line in his book, Memories of The Future, where he compared a particularly indignant and slightly snotty Wesley line read to the way Pee Wee informed Dottie that they would NOT, in fact, be knocking platform bar-dancing boots in the back of the bike shop. I found myself sitting at my desk, trying to convince myself to draw a comic about shotgunning the whole first season of Game of Thrones in less than 36 hours (a thing which I really did), INSTEAD of drawing the weird thing you see above. It seems that I lost my internal battle of wills, logic was thrown to the wind and common sense did not prevail.

If you are now or were ever a fan of Star Trek: TNG, I can’t recommend Memories of The Future more highly. I have enjoyed reliving the first half of the first season of TNG through Wil’s eyes (both the ones he had as a naive child in an adult’s world, and those he has now, which look back at the series with fond reflection, a little regret, and a ton of snark) more than I would have thought possible.

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

HEY A THING!: Someone familiar pops up in this Weregeek comic.

ANOTHER THING!: My friend Tom Brislin has started a Kickstarter to raise money to record his first solo album. Fans of the HE Podcast will know his music from… the HE Podcast. Tom is a fantastic song writer, a virtuoso piano player and one of my favorite creative people on the planet. Please back his project so that I may hear the wonderful musics that are currently stuck in his brain.