Guest Comic By William Tallman Of Reptilis Rex

I’m at Emerald City Comicon RIGHT NOW having a motherbuttshaking PARTYPARTYPARTYPARTY!!! If you are in Seattle, come to booth 1106 (the Blind Ferret Booth) and SHAKE DEM HEALTHY BUTTS!  (also buy stuff from me)


In my absence you are presently being treated to a guestual type comic from William Tallman, creator of Reptilis Rex. It is uncomfortably clear from the panels above that W.T. gets my sense of humor, gets my characters’ sensibilities and draws my characters better than I do. I’m not even going to ask if you enjoyed this comic (BECAUSE YOU DID), so in your pursuit of more haha-yuckyucks by Mr. Tallman I will direct you again (THAT’S RIGHT, TWO LINKS!) to his comic about a deposed Reptoid king from our very own hollow Earth who comes up to the surface and has a pretty shitty life. The cuteness of the pictures is designed to distract you from the undeniably honest sadness of the human reptoid condition. It’s funny!

COMMENTERS: Have you ever explored the expanded universe (novels, comics, CCG’s, whatever) of any particular popular culture element? Did you find comfort in delving into a larger universe which concerned a thing you already loved, or were you saddened when you found out Han Solo used to be partners with a space rabbit?

Seat Fillers

Forgive me, dear Fancy Twitter Bastards, if you have already read 2/3 of these jokes. I decided to borrow from my time-shifted Oscar’s live tweets from Monday night to fill in the gaps above (hence the secret double meaning pun title in which I reveal that I am a monster). I started watching the Academy Awards about 90 minutes into the broadcast. I figured that would give me enough time to skip all the boring parts and just barely catch up with the end. I tweeted as I watched, which must have been jarring for anyone following both me and everyone tweeting the show in real time. Afterwards, I went back and read the previous 3 hours of my twitter feed and realized something odd. The jokes in my feed, provided for free by professional funny-makers and my friends (many of whom themselves are pros at funny-making) was 1000% more entertaining than the awards themselves. But… those highly entertaining tweets (containing no less than 5 L actual OL moments) would not have been possible if not for the incredibly boring Oscar telecast. And they wouldn’t have been as funny had the Oscars not been so dry, flat and humorless. So does that leave me actually grateful for a miserably unfunny Oscars? I certainly don’t regret the jokes that I made which led to this comic, and the ones I read on my phone last night. I know this is a common occurrence in the age of constant connection and commentary but I started to wonder if there would be a tipping point where people gather around the water cooler to discuss NOT the Oscars or whatever communal viewing experience happened the night before, but rather the tweets that experience inspired.

Emerald City ComiCon 2013

Emerald City Comicon is THIS WEEKEND in Seattle. It is my favorite show of the year and I will be at the Blind Ferret Booth all weekend (#1106-1108).

I saw someone post something along the lines of “Why do you watch the Oscars? Why not just read a list of winners at the end?” I thought about it and came to the conclusion that awards shows, season finales, elections and other MUST SEE televised events provide us (the country, if not the entire world) with the rare chance to all be focused on the same thing at the same time. It’s so much easier to land a solid joke when you are experiencing something right along with your audience. You can get away with “This guy is all like…” instead of “Right now I’m watching Top Chef and this guy is all like…”. It lends an additional element of familiarity and brevity, a shorthand, to the experience. For pro-time funny-doers, I think it also allows them (us?) to experience something akin to laughter at a live show. The audience is right there with you, watching the awards and their RT’s and Fav’s and such can take the place of the instant approval a comedian seeks from a live audience.

I think about this stuff a lot. 

COMMENTERS: Have you ever enjoyed someone making fun of a thing more than the actual thing? I think the Red Letter Media reviews of the Star Wars prequels certainly qualify here. To expand on that thought, have you ever enjoyed a commentary, remix, tell all book, cover band or making of documentary more than the subject on which it focused?

Rad Brobot

Blind Ferret’s server got hacked, so the HE Store is down for now. Sharksplode is still fully functional.

I did a two part interview with the United We Geek podcast. You can listen to part 1 right here!

Adventures of the Gummi Bears was one of those 80’s shows where someone said (someone in this case being Michael  Eisner), “Hey, here’s a thing kids like. Let’s make a show about it. Doesn’t matter if it’s a food or a packaging material or an intangible idea or paint samples. Just make it all alive and add magic to it!” I always appreciated the lengths cartoon producers would go in the 80’s to make a show somehow appeal more to what they perceived children were. Like with the Punky Brewster cartoon, some guy saw a successful TV show about an orphan girl and her foster father and said, “Great premise, but let’s magic that shit up a notch! Bam! She’s got a fuzzy goblin from another dimension for a pet or whatever! 80’s cartoon producer guy, you’re a GENIUS.”


I’ve stopped using Feedburner since Google has abandoned it. The old feedburner feed will continue to work, but you should resubscribe using

If you used to get HE in your email inbox through Feedburner, this service seems to offer the same functionality for free.

Just plugin the HE RSS feed [] and your email address.

You’ve Got Me On My Knees

CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 77/100 prints are sold and I only have until Dec 15th (4 days left!) to meet my goal of selling all 100. Help me get on a nerd boat and get some neat art for yourself in the process!

DEC 12th at 12noon Pacific IS YOUR LAST CHANCE to order anything from Sharksplode before Santaween!

COMMENTERS: Let’s assume “Harrison” is a red herring. What other movie trailer red herring’s did you fall for? Or did you see through them while the rest of the Internet lost it’s collective mind?

Hey hey! You can listen to an interview I did on the Clinically Inane podcast.

Into Dorkness


CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 66/100 prints are sold and I only have until Dec 15th (8 days left!) to meet my goal of selling all 100. Help me get on a nerd boat and get some neat art for yourself in the process!

HijiNKS ENSUE JCCC3 Cruise Fundraiser print


We now live in a world that has a Star Trek: Into Darkness trailer and Benedict Cumberbatch just oozes cheekboney sex all over it. There’s a lot of speculation that he’s playing Khan. He is not. He is playing Gary Mitchell, or a at least a character based on Gary Mitchell. It wouldn’t bother me if they changed the name. The wrath of Gary is not a wrath I could see myself particularly fearing.

J.J. Abrams first Star Trek is a perfect movie. That’s just a fact. A SPACE fact, which is the realest kind of fact. Even the parts that don’t make sense make me exceedingly happy. I was never a doubter as to the potential quality of the sequel. The little 1 min snippet has gotten me ever more not… being… a doubter. I have a giant Trekboner is what I’m saying, and this trailer did nothing to diminish it.

My friend Sam is the one that originally suggested to me that Tumblr, which it’s excess infestation of Cumberkin (people that were born into a human body, but know at heart they were supposed to be born clinging to Benedict Cumberbatch’s torso like a baby marsupial) might have had a hand in the crafting of the trailer. It basically leaves out most of the actual Star Trek in favor of the Sherlock star’s soothing yet wicked voice over and asskicking leapery (or leaping asskickery). I can’t say that he’s wrong, in that this movie appears to have been crafted by and specifically for nerds. SPOILERS: It was. I love it when Hollywood panders to us and gets it totally right.

COMMENTERS: Are you as excited as me for STiD? Check your Trekboner. Hmmm… that’s PRETTY excited, but I might still have you beat. If you want a little extra POTENTIALLY SPOILERY GOODTIMES, you can watch the Japanese version of the trailer.

Don’t forget to check the thumbnail to the right of the main HE comics to see if there’s a new LoFi. I’m updating them more often now.