A Good First Impression

Concealed weapons laws? In Texas? Sorry, I momentarily forgot about the sign that welcomes you into our great state: “Welcome to Texas. Please help yourself to one of our complimentary assault rifles. Due to new state regulations, you may not enter Texas with more than 4oz of gay in your carry on bag.” And they SAY you can give them your extra gay and they’ll mail it back to you, but you KNOW they just sell it on eBay.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS! Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage is less than a month away! Details HERE!

potter and daughter podcast logo hijink ensue

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month  $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.
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Calling all Whovians with holes in their ears! Just look at these Dalek earrings my wife made! They’re in her Etsy store and ready to EXTERMINATE your… lack of perfect ear jewelry?

dalek earrings etsy science and fiction

Yoink

A real thing that really happened for real. My self preservation instincts told me to fling the tainted device across the room, but my iPhone preservation instincts superseded them, and I merely placed it back on the table then ran screaming directly into the ocean. I live among the fishes now. They’re always naked, but they don’t even have phones so it evens out.

Oh, and the thing about Smallville is true too. It’s been coming on in the wee hours just before I go to bed and I’ve been catching an episode here and there. It’s not nearly as infuriating as it was during the original run when I was always hoping it was going to go somewhere or Tom Welling was eventually going to learn how to emote.

They’re on season 10 (the final season), and it’s actually highly amusing to see just how “HOLY SHIT WE HAVE LIKE 11 EPISODES LEFT TO TURN THIS POTATO WITH HAIR INTO FUCKING SUPERMAN HOLY FUCK GIVE HIM SOME GLASSES, UMMMM MAKE HIM MOVE TO METROPOLIS OH CRAP OH CRAP 4 EPISODES LEFT, FUCK BRING BACK LEX LUTHOR AND WIPE HIS MEMORY AND A DIFFERENT CLONE OF LEX LUTHOR IS SUPERBOY NOW AND OLIVER AND CHOLE MOVE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE’S EVER HEARD OF CHOLE AND THE GREE ARROW DOESN’T LIVE IN METROPOLIS AND JESUS SHIT WE KILLED JIMMMY OLSON CAN SOMEBODY GET ME A NEW JIMMY OLSON ANNNNNNNNNND HE’S FLYING,” the whole thing is.

AUSTIN, TX FANCY BASTARDS! Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage is less than a month away! Details HERE!

potter and daughter podcast logo hijink ensue

When my Patreon reaches $2000/month  $1750/month I’m going to release a new podcast where upon I interview my 7 years old daughter as she reads through the Harry Potter series. It’s called Potter And Daughter! More details HERE.
becomepatron

Pornographique

This is a 100% true story about the time my good friend, David Willis, gave me a boner with his brain. Well, technically he drew the cards with his hands, so… yeah, he basically straight up gave me a handy. Looks, all I know is he had a brain and some hands and then there was art and shame. What more is there in life? Absolutely nothing. You got your brainhands, and your artshame and that’s it.

FANCY BASTARD BULLETIN! 
Tuesday June 3rd is my birthday (I’m almost positive I’m turning 33). If you like to help me celebrate, please feel free to check out:

The Patreon is honestly the greatest thing you can do for me in terms of making sure I am still able to do HijiNKS ENSUE as my full time job. Otherwise, I’ll happily take an Internet high five via Twitter or Facebook.

COMMENTERS: What could I possibly ask you relating to this topic that wouldn’t bring on a bunch of things I don’t actually want to know? How about this: Have you ever become a fan of a friend? This happens A LOT in my line of work, but have you ever known an artist or musician or pornographer or comedian in real life that you are now a genuine fan of outside of your friendship?

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I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

sharksplode-t-shirt-adventure-timelords-WIDE

The Cleaner

I had A LOT of fun making this comic for some reason. Perhaps it was sleep deprivation induced euphoria, but the dialog, the inks, everything was just a blast to create. Especially that blanket in panel 2. I am super proud of that blanket. That’s a GOOD blanket (cartoonists get excited about weird things). I hope you like it.

I taught cartooning to my daughter’s 1st grade class this week and I made a cover of one of my favorite Pixies songs as a thank you to my Patreon Patrons. My Patrons also got to see a rough version of this comic early (hint hint).

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I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

sharksplode-t-shirt-adventure-timelords-WIDE

 

No Re-Entry

At least a dozen of you DEMANDED that I make a shirt based on this comic, SO I DID.

sharksplode-t-shirt-im-not-fat-im-just-more-than-meets-the-eye-WIDE

I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

sharksplode-t-shirt-adventure-timelords-WIDE

I have 4 or 5 submissions for the Fancy Fan Art Contest. I NEED MORE! “But, Joel! I don’t know how to art!” you say? TOO BAD! YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT! Write a poem! Write a song! Bake a cake! Knit a scarf! The more creative the better! RULES, PRIZES AND DETAILS HERE. 

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