Twenty-Four Hour Shopping In Rapture

Ovipositor Shirts ONLY $11!!! Last Chance Probably Forever!!!

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

Fact 1) There are people currently living on this planet that think, NAY HOPE, the world is going to end tomorrow night in a glorious, cleansing fireball and those of us left on Earth are going to have our eyeballs raped out by demons. Fact 2) These people are why we can’t have nice things.

I know there aren’t normally new comics on Saturday, but maybe you should come check this site around 6pm central time. Who knows. I bet it will still be here and I bet there will be a special surprise for you. Who am I kidding? Of course The Internet will will be here. When The Great Deceiver, The Light Bringer, The Lord of Lies, The Prince of Unspeakable Sorrow comes to claim his Earthly throne and rule for a thousand years there is DEFINITELY going to be an Internet. That’s probably, like, his MAIN thing. It’s going to be fire, brimstone and The Internet. Bam! Population enslaved, water turns to dust in your mouth, eyes that vomit bees, the whole nine. There’s probably something in the Facebook EULA that gets the ball rolling for him. “Oh, you already clicked “Agree.” No take-backs. I totally get to let these harpies eat all your skin off.”

Be on the lookout for my new t-shirt that says, “I Got Left Behind And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt and My Eyes Raped Out By Demons.”

See you Saturday! And Sunday! And all the rest of the days!

COMMENTERS: How are you going to celebrate The Rapture? I say Go wild. This is your last day on Earth (no it isn’t). Have fun. Make some jokes. Eat some donuts. You deserve it.

Blasphormers

My Heart Is A Hate-filled Pineapple T-Shirts are Alive and Pulsating @ Sharksplode!!!

My Heart Is A Hate-Filled Pineapple T-Shirt at Sharksplode

NEW HE PODCASTEpisode 83 “Ass Merkins”

Sharksplode.com - Geeky Nerdy T-Shirts, Funny Tee Shirts

The soaps were scented in various Autobot flavors. Diesel for Optimus Prime, New Van Smell for Ironhide, Lilac for Bumblebee, and High Karate for Jazz.

The events in this comic are 100% true in that they are two half truths combined into one super-truth. The first half come courtesy of the fact that I did find a Transformers themed door hanger from a local church on my front door this week. Pretty sneaky, Jesus.

And the rest of the truth concerns that fact that, while he was not present at the time of the door hanger discovery, this is EXACTLY WHAT IT IS LIKE TO TALK TO DAVID WILLIS ABOUT TRANSFORMERS. Let me be clear: I am not disparaging Willis’s mighty knowledge of all things Cybertron. I marvel at it in fact. I ask him leading questions just to hear him weave his gentle word-music about what Dinobot prefers for breakfast in the US comics vs. the Japanese comics [SPOILERS: It’s Energon in both]. At least a dozen times he has answered questions about the franchise that have plagued me since elementary school. Those of you not privy to his physical being can partake of his robo-knowings at the TF-Wiki, of which he is a major contributor. David has appeared in HE a few other times. Go Read BOTH of HIS COMICS. Love him as he loves fictional robots with silly names.

COMMENTERS: What other 1980’s cartoons or Michael Bay-type movies would make good religious advertisements? Please try to keep it light-hearted and respectful, since I’m sure I’ve already offended plenty for all of us. I think I saw a Thundercats TV spot about not huffing glue one time.


 

A Long Term Commitment

Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco!

NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers.

In case you weren’t nervous about the future of humanity as a whole, please know there are people [REAL ACTUAL PEOPLE] who have signed Billion Year Contracts with a science fiction religion. Now sleep, children. Sleep comfortably in the knowledge that we, as a species, are too stupid to survive much longer.

COMMENTERS: What are some of the sci-fi stipulations of the Scientology Sea Org’s Billion Year Contract? Is there a non-refundable security deposit on your space pod? Do you get to upgrade to a new Operating Thetan level ever two years as long as your account is in good standing?

Protestlytizing

Leaving on a plane for San Diego Comic-Con in 6 hours. Please post your “geek protest sign” slogans in the comments.

I will have this comic as a special print available at The Topatoco Booth (#1231) in the Webcomics Pavillion. One of the signs is left blank so that I can personalize a slogan for you when you buy the print. It looks like this:

SDCC Protest Print

I’m not going to comment on the WBC protesting comic-con (because it promotes false idol worship) since it will just lead to them getting more attention. Dumb, hateful people are predictably hateful and dumb. Something kind of neat is happening as a result of the protest, though. Check out #godlovesbatman on Twitter [more info here]. Thanks to @melsh for titling the comic.

[skip the rest if you’ve read Monday’s blog post. just some SDCC updates and reminders]

Comic-Con 2010

SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON!

I will be at the Topatoco booth (#1231) in the Webcomic’s Pavilion (just around the corner from Penny Arcade).

I will have a few shirts, my book, various comic prints, a few left over large prints, the special print mentioned above, and a new item:

Sketch Cards! For $5 I will do a quick sketch for you on a nice card that looks like this:

HijiNKS ENSUE Comic Con Sketch Cards

Pretty neat, huh? Sketches in HE books (that you buy) are free, and larger commissioned pieces are priced depending on complexity.

COMIC-CON EXCLUSIVE “Browncoat vs. Red Shirt” SHIRTS!!!

I did a couple of shirt designs for Quantum Mechanix, fine online retailer of various Firefly/Serentiy, Dr. Horrible, Battlestar and Star Trek Merch, that will be exclusively sold at Comic-Con (booth 3251, which is mid-hall, toward the back wall, near the break area) and likely never again. Pick a side and display your colors proudly.

DO YOU WANT A SAN DIEGO FANCY BASTARD MEETUP?

FB’s JustChristine and JonnyAce wants to organize a meetup for sometime during the con. Thursday night I will be at W00tstock. If you are interested make a commentFollow me on Twitter for minute to minute updates as to what’s going on while I’m at Comic-Con.

Didn’t You Get That Memo?

I can’t comment on Pat Robertson’s disgusting comments regarding the great tragedy and loss of life in Haiti. Nor can I conjure words to describe my feelings about Rush Limbaugh urging people NOT to donate to the Haiti relief efforts via WhiteHouse.gov (which just has a link to the Red Cross) as to not “play into Obama’s humanitarian agenda/strengthen his acceptance by minorities, etc., etc.” I can only reiterate my initial gut reaction [previously posted on Twitter]:

“I want to see Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh get face-fucked to death by a semi truck.”Continue reading