For Every Action There Is A Redaction

CRUISE FUNDRAISER UPDATE: 98/100 prints are sold!  Only 2 prints remain! I am expecting delivery of the prints any day now and they’ll start shipping as soon as they arrive.

I made a new eBook/iBook! It’s called “Sorry I Ruined Your Book Vol. 1” and it has over 180 pages of HE book 1 preorder/artist edition sketches with commentary on every drawing! Donation subscribers get it free and it’s also available to anyone for a one time “pay what you like” donation.


Welcome to my life in a 24 hour geek news cycle. I remember when I was a kid and we weren’t able to know ANYTHING about movies or tv shows until we saw the trailers or commercials. Even then the message was very carefully controlled by the studios and producers. The stars never went on Carson and dished on who they beat out for the role or how many times the show runner got fired. We just took our geek media as it was presented without the burden of behind the scenes knowledge. Often times, shows I liked would get cancelled and I wouldn’t even know until it just never came back the next season. You’d read a one sentence blurb about a new Batman or Superman movie in a Wizard Magazine, and then… nothing. No idea where it went or why it never materialized. Of course, the irony of it all is that NOW you can find the answers to all of those questions online. I know exactly why Nicholas Cage was never Tim Burton’s Man Of Steel. Honestly, I’m just grateful for that one. We, as geeks, dodged a Batman & Robin ’97 sized bullet there.

I say the intimate knowledge of the inner workings of the media I choose to consume is a burden, but I really do enjoy it. I like the anticipation that it builds, and the satisfaction of being “in the know.” The burden part comes in when too much familiarity with the “sausage-making” process of geek pop culture can lead to unrealistic expectations and eventual disappointment, either from getting your hopes up too high based on 100’s of blog posts, interviews and YouTube clips, or from prejudging a project based on any of the aforementioned data distribution methods.

All in all the lowering of the barrier to information is overwhelmingly a good thing. As consumers we now have nearly as much privilege to information as would have been reserved for the people that actually worked on the projects themselves. But there was a (now lost) purity and innocence in finding out about a movie for the first time when you saw the trailer or the poster, and then not knowing anything else about it until you were in the theater 3 months later. I think it was easier to just like things back then without having to be an expert on them.


The Unwashed Masses

I’m doing something different with the comics starting this week. A bit of an experiment, or rather a continuation of The Experiment. I could certainly use your feedback and your support. Please take a few minutes and READ MORE here.

The thing I hate the most about going to movies in the theater, especially popular ones, is the people. Specifically the teens. I HATE YOU TEENS! I HATE YOUR STUPID PRETTY BUT STILL AWKWARD FACES! I am an adult, and as such I believe I have a right to live a life totally devoid of teens. I am all for teen segregation. They already have their own schools. Why not their own restaurants and movie theaters?

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!! Let the healing begin. 

Show Us On The Trilogy Where George Hurt You - funny star wars t-shirt, george lucas shirt, star wars parody

There was a kid in line behind me bitching THE ENTIRE TIME about how “fucking retarded” this particular movie theater was because he stood in the wrong line for an hour and missed his showing of Avengers and no one did anything to stop him from doing such an incredibly stupid thing. To be fair, the theater was so incredibly packed that it was difficult to tell which line was for which showing. This kid, however, allowed himself to stay in the wrong line for over an hour PAST the start time printed on his ticket. Movies do not start an hour late. They are not concerts. Iron Man and The Hulk are not getting high in the green room while Thor gets his Mjolnir hammered by some Asgardian groupie. At one point he called his mom to complain that he was going to be late getting home because of how stupid the theater was and how he doesn’t want to just leave because he already spent like $20 (certainly hers, not his) on snacks. I should not have to endure such teenage dumbness just in order to see a film on opening weekend. Can I pay $5 more to sit in the Adults Only theater? Does that theater serve booze? Who wants to invest in this idea? It’s quite possibly the best idea anyone has ever had.

So what about The Avengers? Quite simply, it was a triumph. It rivals Iron Man and Spider-Man 2 for the title of “Best Super Hero Movie Of All Time” (I do not count The Dark Knight in this category because I just don’t. It’s its own thing.) Without question it is certainly the best Thor movie, the best Hulk movie, the best Captain America movie and the best Iron Man sequel produced to date. And the Hulk… Jesus the Hulk. I have NEVER liked any incarnation of the Hulk in any form of media, filmed, televised or printed. Yet give this character to Joss Whedon and he uses him with such precision and skill that he steals not just every scene he’s in, but quite possibly the entire movie. The use the words “the Hulk” and “subtlety” in the same sentence seems contradictory, but that’s what it was. As a matter of fact, every single thing I loved about The Avengers stemmed from that Whedonesque subtlety that I’ve grown to love so well. A throw away line here that is anything but a throw away, a bit of body language that goes almost unnoticed but tells an entire story. God dammit, Hollywood! Do you see now what we’ve been trying to tell you for a decade?

I want to write a thesis deconstructing the ways in which Michael Bay and Joss Whedon destroy downtown Manhattan. The ham fisted wrecking ball vs. the artist with the soft touch. In the end, the city is still rubble, but the way it got there could not be more disperate. I am not exaggerating when I say I fell asleep during the climactic battle of Transformer 3.  I honestly could not tell what was happening on the screen for the last half hour of the movie and I just lost interest in fighting the boredom. The last 30 minutes of The Avengers, however, might be the most fun I have ever had in a movie theater. Oh, and did I mention The Hulk? HULKHULKHULKHULKHULK HULLLLLLLLLLLLK!!! Seriously, it was that good.

COMMENTERS: Post your thoughts on The Avengers in the comments. SPOILERS MUST MUST MUST BE TAGGED or your comments will be deleted and you will be banned from commenting. DO NOT RUIN THIS MOVIE FOR ANYONE.

The Thin Furry Duke


Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

The newly relaunched HE Store is up and running over at Blind Ferret. Please go check it out and maybe buy a book or a shirt or something. Shirts will begin shipping soon, now that we are all back from Comic-Con.

UPDATE: You asked for it, so I added a “Chibi Wolverine” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Winter Is Coming” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscription and you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.


Long story short: Short mutant tall. I watched the premiere of Wolverine (Marvel Anime version) on G4TV and it just wasn’t for me. I’m not a huge anime fan to begin with, so let that color my opinions however you like. The show was done in my absolute least favorite style of anime. The “lovers exchanging long, silent looks over the ocean while 80’s casio keyboards set to vibraphone play softly in the distance… then everybody fights” style. It wasn’t terrible, but it certainly wasn’t Wolverine. This cat was about 24 years old, tall, slender and pointy in all the wrong places. From chin to Aladdin Sane-esque frock, he was all points. The only thing I really enjoyed about Wolvanime was the completely shoehorned moment reminding the audience”Hey! Wolverine is Canadian!” when the incredibly Japanese Logan is seen standing atop a random Manhattan building drinking a can of clearly labelled “CANADIAN BEER.” Yatta bub!

COMMENTERS: What other unexpected anime characteristics might Logan or any other Japanimated Marvel character have? What sort of situations might they find themselves in? Does Chibi-Charles Xavier have to catch (’em) all the mutants in order to be a true mutant training master?

Dallas Fancy Bastards! I am going to be at STRIP: The Dallas Webcomic Expo this Saturday [August 6th] from 10-5pm. It’s only $5 to get in. Come get a book or a sketch. It’s a very low key show and I’ll probably be doing a fun times panel with the dude from Cyanide and Happiness.

WATCH THIS WITH YOUR EYES! My friends Yuri Lowenthal and Tara Platt are both fantastic voice over actors (Yuri is the voice of Ben 10, Sasuke Uchiha from Naruto, and tons of video game characters, and Tara has voiced characters in Naruto, Final Fantasy XIII, Bleach and dozens of anime series and video games) and now they have stepped out of the booth, in front of the camera to create their own show. Shelf Life is a live action web series about four action figures living on a young boy’s shelf. It’s like Toy Story for those of us that grew up with He-Man and Spider-Man. You can watch the trailer HERE and check out the full series when it premieres later this summer. You can also follow them on the Facing Books.

Shelf Life - Funny Web series Super Heroes Toys, comedy web series

LAST THING: My AC died last week and living without AC in Texas is not an option. The new unit is costing me $3000. SPOILERS: I don’t have 1 thousand of dollars, let alone 3 of them. If you enjoy my ability to make comics without dying of heat stroke, please consider making a donation, buying something from the store or buying something from Sharksplode.

UPDATE: You wonderful Fancy Bastards have already donated nearly $650 towards the AC repairs. Thank you so very much. Your generosity means so much to me and my family.


Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

I am closing out some current t-shirt and print designs. Please check out this blog post since the stuff on closeout probably won’t be available again.

Rejoice nerds. Our long national nightmare is over. X-Men: First Class has wiped clean the stains left on the X-Movie Franchise by X-Men 3: Frasier Beast and X-Men Original Recipe: Wolverine. It really is that good. Before I get to the good, I will quickly dispatch with the bad. As stated in the panels above, the films Americanizes ALL of the non-American characters from the comics. This seems like a very strange and totally unnecessary choice. The X-Men were always supposed to be an international collective, representative not of any one country, but of the world. It’s supposed to be mutants v. humans, not americans v. everyone else. Since the plot of the movie revolves around the cuban missile crisis, I wonder if they did this to place emphasis on the American/Russion conflict. This doesn’t ruin the movie, but it will leave longtime X-Fans confused. The other major gripe I have it will Emma Frost. The casting, the writing, and the characterization are just wrong. She comes off in the film as a tarty, sexy, fun-loving, bond girl. Where is the stone cold fake-British-accent-sporting bitch we all love to hate/love? [NOTE: I admit I am primarily familiar with the Emma from Astonishing X-Men and realize she might have been portrayed differently in the past or in other titles, perhaps without an accent at all.] January Jones (who until recently I assumed was Blake Lively), either can’t act or just doesn’t want to. Again, these are small gripes that only slightly detract from an otherwise fantastic movie.

Now for the good. The rest of it… is the good. Michael Fassbender as Magneto OWNS this movie. While I adored Ian McKellan’s portral of the master of magnetism, it was clear we were seeing a battle weary version of Magneto in his twilight years. He was more concerned with playing general to his various henchmen than getting into the thick of things himself. He was probably on a 2-3 bottles of Ensure a day habit and likely went to bed around 8pm, right after “The Wheel” went off. The Magneto we see in First Class is in his prime. He’s an assassin, a fucking unstoppable badass. And his friendship/idealogical struggle with Charles Xavier really balance out his all consuming need for revenge. Speaking of accents, Fassbender’s Irish accent pops out towards the end of the film during a few moments of impassioned speech.

There are parts of the film that feel like it should be called X-Position Men. Characters pick their codenames, give their backstories or drop an unusual amount of backstory in a very short of amount of time, but you can’t really fault them for trying to bring the average movie goer up to speed quickly in order to move the plot along. Some of it feels ham-fisted, like when Mystique says, “I want to be called Mystique and you should be Professor X!” But most of it goes over just fine. I also applaud the filmmakers for establishing quite clearly that the movie takes place in the 1960’s but somehow keeping everything mostly decade agnostic. It doesn’t feel like a period piece which keeps things more relatable. Final verdict: GO SEE IT. Fun times.

COMMENTERS: Did you see X-Men: First Class? What did you think? Do you hope they continue the franchise in this timeline?

Hulk: El Hombre Increíble

UPDATE: Or maybe this didn’t happen at all.

In the same week it was announced that former TV Hulk, Lou “The Ferrigs” Ferrigno, was joining Steven “Fat Karate” Seagal in the Arizona Anti-Illegal Immigration Marauder Posse Squad Strike Force Delta, AND that Guillermo “The Most Mexican Director In Hollywood” del Toro would be bringing a new Hulk TV series to ABC.

Keep Your Laws Off My Ovipositor T-ShirtI can put up with a lot of things, but brand disparity among individuals loosely affiliated with the same fictional property is ALWAYS where I draw the line. I guess. Come on, The Incredible Hulk Franchise. Pro-Mexican or Anti-Mexican? Pick a side. We’re at war.

Is it just me, or does this story make it seem like Steven Seagal actually is the character he played in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete? Pro-tip for illegals trying to sneak past Lou Ferrigno at the border: he’s partially deaf. Stay behind him and be very, very quiet. If he catches you in a sleeper hold, it’s lights out.

For those unfamiliar with Eli’s Vespa-riding doppleganger, it is his friend Alex. He last appeared in THIS COMIC taking Eli’s place after Eli asked for too much imaginary comic money.

COMMENTERS: This whole thing just screams, “set up for a reality show.” Name the show, come up with the tagline, and/or give us an episode synopsis. I’ll get you started:

“Bean Counters with Lou Ferrigno and Steven Seagal! We’re taking these illegals back to brown-town!”