Therefart iAm

HijiNKS ENSUE Vol 1 Godspeed You Fancy Bastard @ Topatoco

The only I reason I can think of for Apple looking to Phillip Shoemaker, the creator of such apps as “Animal Farts” and the e-urine v-simulatrum “iWiz“, for a leadership position in the App Store is that Steve Jobs has realized his own mortality (being that Apple could easily bring about The Singularity but has chosen to delay the product cycle to better fit with projected Q3 2012 earnings estimates) and is dead set on driving his company into the iFarting ground on his way out.

Just as Willy Wonka sent out his golden tickets to find a suitable heir to his chocolate empire, Jobs created The App Store with the soul purpose of finding the fart-obsessed piss-app monger who could make sure Apple legacy for quality and style would die with him.

HOLY SHIT THIS WEEKEND IS BALTIMORE COMIC CON!!!

Baltimore Comic Con

I will be in the Artist Alley at table A164 with Fancy Bastard Alex (Mechamenchi) at my side. Baltimore was the first show I ever exhibited at and my first taste of seeing experiencing the kindness, generosity and sense of community of you, The Fancy Bastards, in person. One of the biggest highlights of the show was the FB meetup. I would really like to do another Baltimore FB meetup Saturday night August 28th around 7:30 or 8pm. Last year we did it at Hooters because they had a nice deck and could accomidate a good-sized group, but I am open to suggestions for a different meeting place. Please comment below of you think you will be able to make it (and understand that I will be heartbroken if this doesn’t happen since I have been looking forward to it all year).

Under The Bridge Downtown Pt. 3

To be concluded in “Under The Bridge Downtown: Epilogue”.

I’ve been having a ton of fun with this experiment in brief, contained continuity. If you like it, I may inject a bit more of it from time to time. I might do a big, 4 comic tall poster of these when I’m done. Any interest in that sort of thing?

Additional special thanks to Rob D of Cyanide and Happiness for guest staring in this series of comics.

COME OUT TO ONE OF THESE SHOWS!!!

DWEX 2010: THIS IS NEXT WEEKEND!!!
The Dallas Webcomics Expo – Aug 21 in Plano, TX
With Something*Positive, Cyanide and Happiness, Gastrophobia and Complex Actions
MORE INFO

Baltimore Comic-Con: Aug 28-29 @ in Baltimore, MD
MORE INFO

Dallas Animefest: Sept 3rd – Sept 6th, 2010 Dallas, TX @ Hyatt Regency Dallas at Reunion
with Shortpacked and Two Lumps
MORE INFO

UPDATE: The print is in the store for a limited time! Get it while you can.

Under The Bridge Downtown Print
BUY THE PRINT HERE!

An Uncommon iNfestation

“Quick! Get me a Macbook Air. We must shave him! It is the only way to sap him of his strength!”

Thanks to everyone that watched me draw this comic live on Ustream. Follow me on Twitter if you want to know when the live streams are going to be.

I remember when I bought the very first Macbook Pro (15″ Core Duo) that it had a set of dummy screws on the left side of the chasis that served no purpose other than to duplicate the functional screws on the right side of the machine. You see Uncle Steve strives always to maintain harmony, balance and above all, gadget homeostasis. It warms my various circuits and doodads to know that my personal electronics of choice are architected by an absolute madman.

[Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!
There is also a PRINT of this design too!]

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

This ideal is evidenced most by the fact that no one ever even wants the white version of whatever Apple puts out (accept for the Macbook 13″. There seems to be a colon-ton of those things around). I suspect that, per his own special brand of megalomaniacal lunacy, Steve dreamed up the white iPhone 4 only to serve as counterpart the black one. Perhaps to give you a less favorable alternative in order to make your darker choice seem somehow more fulfilling. Choosing one thing OVER another is certainly something more to be proud of than simply taking the only thing that is available. Hell, that’s actually one of the core principals of Mac Fanboyism.

There’s The Flashing Magic Screen

I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend [Saturday and Sunday]. Come say hi!

At least for now, if you click HERE you will see a video regarding the Apple iPad that begins with a quote of outstanding douchery [captured nearly verbatim in panel 1 above]. Apple loyalist though I may be, I admit they are not above criticism. And to suggest that “we don’t know how computers work so they must be magical” fails to impress me on two accounts. A) I know how computers work… EVERYONE except my mom knows how computers work, and 2) even people that don’t know exactly how computers work don’t think they are magical like phoenix tears.

I do not see a demonstration of “pinch to zoom” multitouch and immediately avert my eyes from the iPad as not to offend it’s heavenly gaze. I do not slaughter a goat as to make a sacrificial offering to the iPad that it may smile upon my crops in the coming season or bless my family with many strong sons and beautiful daughters (for selling to rich village land owners). Nor to a steal off into the night and paint myself with the goats blood, dance around a bonfire and chew the hallucinogenic leaves of an indigenous shrub in order to work myself up into a trance-like frenzy in hopes of better knowing the will of the iPad. Those are the actions of someone who looks at the unknown and interprets it as magic. C’Mon Apple. That was just dumb.

Numfar! Do The Dance of Joy

I’ll be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend. Come say hi!

Oh, Steve. You had me at “we are not currently developing a tablet.”

Seems like the new Apple iPad would be fun to travel with. Can’t see much use for it around the house when it really isn’t much smaller than my laptop, but I haven’t laid hands on it yet (which is typically when an Apple product grabs hold of your soul and doesn’t let go). I imagine the UI is crazy fun to play with and developers are going to have a blast coming up with new ways to utilize it. The entry level price point of $499 is also quite tasty, considering the first iPod cost that much. Continue reading