A Blatant Disregard For Canon

I’d like to clarify that I am not “humping” the screen, as it were. I’m merely mashing my junk up against it in appreciation. As of this post I haven’t seen J.J. Abram’s “Star Trek” yet. It was actually occasional HE Podcast guest host and full time Mexican, Alex that got in to a sneak peak (ALLLLLEEEEEX!), but you don’t have to be a half-Betazoid [have you ever stopped to think how ridiculous the word “Betazoid” is? It’s space-donkulous.] to know that this movie is going to rock out with it’s Spock out. Even Ensign Wil Wheaton said, “Star Trek has been reborn, and it is SPECTACULAR.”

I saw J.J. on Colbert a few nights ago. You should watch the clip just to meet Stephen’s Romulan doppelganger. Knowing that J.J. bought one of my Groverfield shirts, I can’t help but assume that he is wearing it under his regular clothes at all times. That practically makes us brothers. He did me a solid by buying my shirt. The least I can do is go see his movie, right?

UPDATE: Apparently this comic shares a title with a PA comic from a few years back. I have been listening to their podcasts, one of which featured said comic. I guess it was in the back of my mind. Oh well.

Have you seen it yet? What did you think? NO SPOILERS!!!

A Left Turn At Albuquerque

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J.J. Abrams must have some sort of geographical boner for places that start with “AUS,” because he debuted “Star Trek” in AUStralia a month before it’s US release (complete with a Wonkaesque Golden Ticket contest) and held a sneak preview in AUStin, TX. The Austin this was actually really cool. The fans thought they were showing up for “Wrath of Kahn” and  a 10 minute sneak preview of “Star Trek.” Instead “the film broke” and Leonard Nimoy came out, bitched about the technical snafu then they showed the new film in its entirety. Harry Knowles was there and you can read his account HERE. You might want to bring a book because his review is LONG. I love what he does for the geek community in general but that dude can’t write a review without retelling his entire life. He’s kind of like a fatter, red-headed Dewey Cox that way.

I suppose if I get desperate I can travel down I-35, find one of the lucky Austinites, then tie them up in a mini storage unit  and mind meld with him to get a taste of the movie. That kind of shit happens in Austin all the time. Also weed. Weed happens in Austin all the time.

I had a really hard time writing this comic, so I thought I would throw in some extra art juice to even it out. I felt like I’d already done a vegemite joke, but I couldn’t find it in the archives. Maybe it was a comment from a while back. I was also pretty sure I’d done a “The Core” joke before but then I realized the joke was on me… because I had seen “The Core.”

Where No Man Has Gotten Freaky Before

Future historians debate whether the T in James T. Kirk stood for Tiberius or Tap Dat Ass. I like to think that in a future utopia the latter would be true.

The trailer has me setting phasers to enthusiastic. I hope this movie accomplishes only two things. 1) It revitalizes a failing franchise that has been dissapointing long time fans for years and 2) Brings new Trekkies into the fold and ensures that generations to come will identify with the series and its characters.

So what do you think? Please identify yourself as a Trekkie or non-Trekkie if you choose to weigh in.

A Phenomenon Known As “J.J. Vu”

Even though I’ve never seen A.L.I.A.S., Josh tells me it had the same undertones. Maybe Felicity did too. It was, after all, about time travel. Maybe J.J. Abrams only has the one idea. Regardless I am going to stick around for Fringe and see where it goes. The pilot got me interested and the follow up episode that aired last night, while not stellar, managed to keep me interested. I am still “take it or leave it” at this point.

Check out HE Podcast # 28 (around 02:09:30) to hear our complete opinions on the pilot, the show’s concept, its chances for survival and why Josh hates it so much.

You can also voice your own opinion on Fringe in this Fancy Bastard Forum thread. If you haven’t already joined the FBF, feel free to do so NOW! Only a couple of rules: 1) Don’t be a jerk to anyone ever 2) Don’t be hateful to anyone ever 3) Debate but do not argue or attack 4) Have geeky fun

Joel And Sleepy Eli Strike Back

Kevin Smith has not already seen J.J. Abram’s “Star Trek.” Except that he totally has. But he hasn’t. And whatever he hasn’t seen, he can’t talk about. What can’t he talk about? He’s not at liberty to say. Let’s just say pointy ears are involved…I’ve said too much.

Well I’ve seen the movie too, and I’m not going to be as stingy with the information as Mr. Smith.

I can say, without a doubt, each of these things happens in the new Star Trek:

  • Kirk is brash, brazen and undisciplined and for this he will be reprimanded
  • Spock will be forced to make an illogical decision then somehow say it was the logical thing to do
  • Chekov will… let me get back to him
  • The Romulans will seem trustworthy then turn out to be assholes
  • Sulu will throw a fabulous dinner party
  • Kirk will get laid, get in a fight, then get in a sex-fight
  • Uhura will take a message for Kirk will he’s doing the sex-fight
  • Uhura will showcase the roundness of her various space parts
  • Scotty will throw vinyl records at the Romulans and beat them with a cricket bat
  • Bones will be a doctor, not a something else, damnit
  • Chekov will… scan something

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