JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic By Sam Logan Of Sam And Fuzzy

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Fortnight is nearly back to the mainland! The pod of friendly humpback whales there were towing our powerless and increasingly Thunderdome-esque vessel back to Florida ended up being chunks of that possibly mythical, Texas-sized trash island that broke off and developed sentience. Monstrous trash whales are truly the gentle giants of the sea.

As I mentioned yesterday, the final 3 Guest Fortnight comics feature three different artists taking on the same idea. What if I got on the wrong boat? I mean, I like big boats and I cannot lie. Who’s to say I’m going to be super picky about WHICH big boat I stumble onto? They all look pretty much the same. Round, juicy… bubble…y? You know? Boats. Fellas? Fellas? Does your girlfriend got the boat?

Sam Logan is a Canadian, but please do not hold that against him. He wouldn’t even know if you did, as that Canadians lack the gene for understanding sarcasm, rudeness and the general purpose “Healthy Directionless American Rage” we take for granted. He is my friend and he makes a comic about a… let’s same a circus clown and a monkey. I’ve never really been able to tell. Maybe the monkey is a cat. Maybe they’re both cats. It’s on the Internet, so chances are pretty good it’s all about cats. He also has something to do with one of my favorite Tumblrs called “Skull Panda Loves Everything. I think he’s the webmaster.  Canada probably still has “webmasters,” right? I bet they also have “newspaper columnists” and “record company executives” and “doctors” that “help keep you well” so you “don’t get sick” and “die” leaving “crushing medical debt” behind that “devastates” your “family.”

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic By E.K. Weaver Of The Less Than Epic Adventures Of TJ And Amal

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic Fortnight wraps up week one with this stunning depiction of, what I can only assume, are completely factual events by E.K. Weaver of The Less Than Epic Adventures Of TJ And Amal. The only part I find highly suspect is that Lar and I would be in the same life raft with Jonathan Coulton. When you’re headlining your own cruise, I’m pretty sure they reserve space for you on some sort of emergency evacuation mini-sub with the captain, first mate and probably a sentient, talking dolphin. Or at least a narwhale that knows sign language.

I made a bunch of shirts and put them on the internet for to you buy. Wil Wheaton helped.

I meat E.K. when we were on a panel together last december at Dragon’s Lair Webcomics Rampage. We didn’t get much of a chance to talk or hang out that weekend, but I was really floored by the quality of her work. Her comic is a stunningly drawn, gay positive long format story and I recommend it to those of you who are fans of quality.

Thursday, eh? So is this day five of the cruise? Is this even a day? Is there still a world on the other side of this vast expanse of ocean and boat-smashed whale carcasses? My brains are no doubt sunbaked and rum-basted beyond cognition by now. The inhabitants of our city-ship have abandoned human language in favor of communicating only in sea shanties. We barter for leftover buffet hard rolls and pancake batter with jewelry made from the bones of our dead. There are two factions on board. Those that wait for people to die before making their ankles into anklets, and my team. The winning team. Oddly enough, all of this was outlined in the brochure.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been in an emergency evacuation situation? When I was a kid we were eating at a Red Lobster when flames started shooting out of the kitchen. We ran outside as the building burned. This dude next to us had taken the time to rescue his plate of crab fettuccine. I assume his priorities regarding survival began to shift as soon as he realized his meal was going to be free. I would not be surprised if he tried to order some Cheddar Bay Biscuits[TM] to go on his way out of the collapsing structure.

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic By Kris Wilson Of Cyanide And Happiness

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic Fortnight makes a detour to drop off a nondescript duffle bag at an unmarked port with this comic from Kris Wilson of Cyanide And Happiness. Kris did a guest “Cy-Jinks” comic for the last JoCo cruise. In the blog post for that comic I mentioned that Kris and his CnH cohorts (one of whom, Rob, is on the boat with me right now, and pictured above in shape-figure form) were in talks with Comedy Central to produce an animated show on the actual TV. I the last 12 months THINGS HAVE CHANGED. They walked away from the deal in favor of producing an animated series (and much more) on their own. This is super exciting, not only because my friends are going to get to make a show on their own terms, and I’m going to be contributing in some capacity (more on that later) but also because of what it means for independent content creators and what is now possible in terms of dealing directly with your audience sans middleman. I won’t be able to update while I’m on the boat, but If you follow Kris on Twitter I bet he’ll give you a link to their Kickstarter this week, maybe early next week. Fun, exciting times are ahead!

I made a bunch of shirts and put them on the internet for to you buy. Wil Wheaton helped.

Kris was here in Dallas all last week and we had a good old fashioned sleep over. We giggled about girls, watched scary movies and ate too much junk food. Which is to say we wrote a bunch of comedy for internet-TV-type-shows and made some comics. Kris is that person for me that completely unclogs my creative tap. He’s a plumber for my stopped up mental drain. He’s the toilet snake for my haha comedy pipes. He’s the metaphor to my some other thing whatever. If even half of what we’ve been talking about sees the light of day in the coming year, you’re REALLY going to enjoy it.

So today would be day four of the cruise. I’m guessing the barnacle related death toll is somewhere near an even dozen. I’d also expect that we will have accidentally left somewhere around 1/4 to 1/3 of the passengers on various tropical islands totally by accident. Those of us who are left pretty much have free reign of the boat. It’s my turn to drive today! I should be a very good cruise ship driver because of that time I road the flume ride at Six Flags. Just raise your hands and scream, right! Don’t forget to flip off the camera when you pass it. Oh, man what a good joke. [SPOILERS: I crashed us into a whale. Half of the remaining passengers fell directly into the great beast’s sea-mouth and were swallowed whole. A group of individuals led by one of our Somali pirate line cooks has taken a life boat out to try and reach an armistice with the whale. DOUBLE SPOILERS: They sailed directly into its mouth as well. There are 60, maybe 70 people left on this boat and NONE of them know how to make room service. Things are getting dire and late-night club sandwiches are going UNMADE AND UNEATEN!]

COMMENTERS: What was I talking about? No idea. Ok, give me your best/worst vacation stories. Bonus points of there were shenanigans involved.

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Comic By Angela Melick Of Wasted Talent

JoCo Cruise Crazy 3 Guest Fortnight is upon you!
That’s right, two weeks of guest comics by some of my best friends and favorite artists. Week one, being this week, being the week that I’m actually on a high seas mechanical roving self contained party island (or B.O.A.T) will consist of four comics that sort of by accident tell a story. Its weird how it all worked out. Week two will be a “theme week” consisting of three artists giving their perspective on the same… well, theme (a certain Fox TV shows certain misappropriation of a certain bearded troubadour’s certain cover of a certain song about butts). After that we’ll have TWO MORE GUEST COMICS not even about cruises at all just to ease you back into laughing at picture+word combinations that are not about boats, oceans, rum punch or constantly blasting reggae music. I’ve seen all of the comics and I highly endorse each and every one. This is not a “check out for two weeks, then come back when the J.J. Abrams comics return” situation. You are going to LOVE these comics.

I made a bunch of shirts and put them on the internet for to you buy. Wil Wheaton helped.

We start the Guest Fortnight with one of my favorite artists and convention cohorts, Angela Melick. Angela is an engineer and does a wonderfully hilarious auto-bio comic called Wasted Talent. Take a look at that comic up there and you can the engineer’s mind at work. SO MUCH DETAIL. There are gags upon gags. Plus WHERE CAN I GET THAT CATAPULT-CANNON FEZ?!?!? This is also the very first time in HEstory that my wife, Emily, has been portrayed in the comic.

Since I’ll be writing all of these posts in the past, I can only assume what I’m doing right now (now being Monday, and the past being the previous Saturday). Hmm… we will have been on the water for a whole day by the time this post appears. Let’s assume Somali pirates have commandeered the buffet, but (joke’s on us) they’re FANTASTIC cooks. I’m probably not brushing my teeth with rum punch yet, but the week is still early.

COMMENTERS: You can see above that we’re bringing ukuleles and custom fezzes on our trip. What are your non-standard essential travel items? 

Webcomic Rampage 2012 Fancy Surreal Tablecloth Guest Comic By Zach Weiner

This weekend was Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage in Austin, TX. Thanks to all the Fancy Bastards that came out to say hi. If you didn’t make it out this year, next year’s event is already shaping up to an AMAZING weekend of comics, cartoonists and fun time.s They are moving to a new location that’s twice the size and we’re going to have even more panels, events and online cartoonists.

Almost as soon as the Rampaging began, Zach Weiner started a thing whereby all of the attending cartoonists kept drawing me and replacing random words in sentences with my full name all weekend. It started as a jok and quickly escalated into a surreal, meta tribute/ribbing type situation that somehow married Being John Malkovich with Pokemon. I felt like the prettiest idiot at ball. I was getting ALL of the attention and in no way sure if I wanted, appreciated, or understood it.

Here’s a bunch of the pictures of me that Zach, David, Randy, Angela, Danielle and Lar drew of me. They are mostly a macabre descent into madness (expecially Zach’s… seriously, someone needs to reach out to him and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself) and almost ENTIRELY EXTREMELY NOT SAFE FOR YOUR WORKING ENVIRONMENT. 

CRUISE FUNDRAISER: 74/100 prints are sold and I only have until Dec 15th (5 days left!) to meet my goal of selling all 100. Help me get on a nerd boat and get some neat art for yourself in the process!

ME AND WIL MADE A NEW SHIRT HOLY CRAP I LOVE IT!
UPDATE!!! WE ALSO MADE HOODIES! 

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been the butt of a hyper localized, extremely specific inside meme? How did it last? Do people still call you “Flippers” because of what happened they day at the pool?