It’s My Cat In A Box

Check out all the prints and posters in the HE Store!

I’m going to be at SDCC with Cyanide & Happiness THIS WEEK! Booth 1234! More info at my Tumblr. 

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Last week the HijiNKS ENSUE Patreon went over $1500, which means starting next month there will be 4 new comics a week! This is either going to take the form of 4 HE comics or 3 HE comics and one FANEURYSM comic. Haven’t decided yet. Either way, thank you all so much for the support!

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TARDIS Necklace from Science & Fiction

tardis necklace on etsy from science and fiction

 

No Child Left Alive

I made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

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“Now, I know you’re a little apprehensive about sending your child to Hogwarts, but let me assure that our mortality rate is well within the guidelines for other reputable wizarding schools in Europe and Asia. Mortality rate… yes. The likelihood that your child will die or otherwise be rendered irreparably cursed, hexed or transfigured while in our care. What IS that rate? Like I said, it’s well within the standard… well, it’s… it’s around 30% NOW I know that seems high, but I promise you it is well within… yes, of course. No, I understand. It’s just with every single one of us, teacher and student, adult and child, carrying the power to kill with but a flick of the wrist and a a couple of odd words one has to expect a certain level of… no, I wouldn’t use that word. Well, because MURDER is a very particular word and I believe what happens here is more akin to… well OF COURSE you would bring HIM up. Yes, he was VERY murdered. Yes, horrifically so. Yes, all of the other students saw it. Well, because it happened right here in the great hall during lunch. I don’t know, I suppose he wanted to make an example of the little… yes, I’ve heard that about American wizarding schools as well. Honestly I don’t see how they could be teaching proper magic if THAT many children survive each year.”

I taught cartooning to my daughter’s 1st grade class this week and I made a cover of one of my favorite Pixies songs as a thank you to my Patreon Patrons. Check those things out, why not?

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Please Mr. Postmuggle

comfyconDid you miss my ComfyCon panel? Did you miss all of ComfyCon? Did you not know that ComfyCon was a free, online convention where many of your favorite online comics artists did live panels in their pajamas? Well, you can catch my panel, #PanelRoulette, archived here and check out the rest of the watchable goodies here.

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Do you live in or around Austin, TX? Come see me and Dave from Cyanide & Happiness and Randy from Something*Positive at Wizard World Austin this weekend (Saturday and Sunday only). We’ll be at the Dragon’s Lair booth selling merch and doing sketches.

You too can lick the back of Harry Potter’s face every time you pay that one bill that doesn’t offer online payment processing!

COMMENTERS: Given the option to take my family and jump universes, I would give up boring-ass, physics-based Earth-1 for the Wizarding World in a house elf heartbeat. So long, Internet and cellphones; hello, magic and creatures and flying around on brooms and children constantly in life threatening peril. That’s just my bag. Which fully realized fictional world would you take up permanent residence in?  

Comments (15)

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Dean's avatar

Dean · 82 weeks ago

Two T’s in Gringott’s.
Gensokyo! I’ll just need to learn how to fly and shoot magic bullets from random objects
Bek's avatar

Bek · 82 weeks ago

Obviously Josh needs to read more Discworld, particularly “Going Postal”!
Starfleet. Without question. Probably the 24th Century for holodeck reasons.
Varmint's avatar

Varmint · 82 weeks ago

Ah shoot, I dunno… Planescape, maybe? Sigil was an unusually stable fantasy locale, the kind of place where you could set up a business and pretty much not be bothered if you didn’t want to be, and the town was lousy with adventurers if you had an odd job that needed to be done. Plus travel in the City of Doors was easy enough if you wanted a change of scenery. It basically gave you access to every world beneath the D&D umbrella, plus plain old vanilla Earth if you ever got homesick.
Greg's avatar

Greg · 82 weeks ago

Culture
bubujin_2's avatar

bubujin_2 · 82 weeks ago

I’ve long been a fan of Anne McCaffrey’s world of Pern. To ride and be psychically linked to a flying and teleporting dragon would be most awesome. Shards!
PokeyPuppy's avatar

PokeyPuppy · 82 weeks ago

Second panel Joel is fricking adorable. And I think I’d go with Rowling’s world or Diane Duane’s as @RDW0409 suggested (the Young Wizards series is seriously great, I agree).
Lurkie's avatar

Lurkie · 82 weeks ago

Can I ride shotgun with Hiro Protagonist for pizza delivery? Pern is great, and even Riverworld sounds amazing, but both a little too Luddite for my tastes…
Pokémon in a heartbeat.

Chicken Fight

I was going to draw Hodor and Hagrid carrying their respective semi-motionless boy-bodies around, but I decided they should be having a bit more fun.

COMMENTERS: Who are your favorite fictional duo or team to fall into the “behemoth and small person” trope? I can think of tons of examples from comic books proper, but not that many from film and TV. Maybe you recall some obscure one’s that I don’t.

Taken It 2 The Streets

Thanks to Rob for the joke in panel 4 which inspired this entire comic.

Before I start the next storyline, I thought I would take[n] this opportunity to reinforce a few things about Eli’s personality. First off, he thinks all action movies follow the Rambo naming convention, i.e. the title of the film is the lead character’s name. This goes for Taken, Die Hard, Cliff Hanger (actually THAT one was a real missed opportunity, Hollywood) and Point Break. Secondly, he is a creature of confident confusion. He rarely knows what he’s talking about, but he know’s it’s right. Thirdly, he is probably still drunk. We’ll get into that more later.

I watched the trailer for Taken 2 and it is clear that Taken is Taken it up a notch. This time his daughter, his wife and presumably his entire extended family have been Taken by the (I’m assuming) widowers of the dozens if not hundreds of Ukrainian Albanian human trafficers he murdered in the first movie. I’m actually relieved that they took[en] this direction for the sequel. The only things going through my head at the end of Taken were A) NOT enough blood, because most of it was in my boner and B) the idea that one dude might have the particular set of skills required to take[n] the lives of 150 some odd goons, and he just might get away with it if no one identifies him, BUT how in the ridiculous fuck is he going to murder a wealthy European slave dealer in his own home AND am Iranian Sheik on his own boat and NOT face immediate retribution? The apparent answer is: no. Or he can’t. He doesn’t. Whatever. My money is on him rage-flipping all of Eastern Europe like a lumpy mattress.

SIDE NOTE: if you HAVE seen the trailer for Taken 2: Taken That Shit To The Next Level, is it just me or does the main bad guy look like The Most Interesting Man In The World from the beer commercials? “I don’t always traffic in humans, but when I do… I make it white American women. Stay scummy, my friends.”

COMMENTERS: Please insert John Taken into more films and give him his memorable quote. For example:

V: Taken Out The Lizard People – “What I do have are a very particular set of scales.” That was also works if you put Taken in Blow.