There Are FOUR Jack-O’-Lanterns!

[reddit-me]That look in your eyes says “WTFCOMIC?” but that look in YOUR EYES screams “SERIOUSLYWTFCOMIC?!” Your reaction is understandable. This Halloween comic is really just a love letter from me to other hardcore Star Trek: TNG fans. I actually came up with about 100 even more obscure, 1(ish)-episode characters to use for costume ideas but in the end I settled on The Traveler, Lal and not one but TWO Captain Dathons. Dueling Darmok’s, if you will.

Almost no one entered the comic recreation contest so I have extended ALL DEADLINES for all 3 contests through the weekend. If you want to enter and win either Borderlands (PC) or Ghostbusters (360) you have until late Sunday night to enter. Winners will be announced Monday. For those that plan on entering the comic recreation contest, FEAST YOUR RIDICULOUS EYEBALLS ON THE CURRENT FRONT RUNNER AND DESPAIR!!!

If you enjoy HijiNKS ENSUE at all
, and you want to see it continue, or you support my EXPERIMENT to try and make a living from this comic PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take 60 seconds and fill out this marketing survey [LINK]. It’s 23 multiple choice questions and it shouldn’t take more than a minute. It would really mean a lot to me.




Josh Wins Halloween

In what may be the most meta move in the history of Internet, Josh dressed up as HIMSELF from the “Godspeed You Fancy Bastard” comic. It’s like a living recursive anagram acronym (J.O.S.H = Josh! Oh Shit! Halloween!). Then Eli and I decided to use this (hopefully) once in a lifetime opportunity to recreate the GSYFB desktop in real life. Luckily there was a missile just laying around in a nearby office (no kidding… thanks, Jen!)

Here’s the COMIC and the DESKTOP for comparison.

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H-E-Ween Flashback ’87

I wasn’t allowed to celebrate Halloween as a kid, since it was created and maintained by Satan and his legions of costumed followers. I got to wear a costume so I wouldn’t be the only kid at school without one, but it was generally something innocuous like a cowboy or a monkey. I may have been a cowboy on the outside, but inside beat the heart of a werewolf, or a ninja or Optimus Prime. I did go as ALF one year, but the costume was incredibly hot and I couldn’t see out of the mask. Eventually I just looked like a kid that had decapitated a sasquatch and was wearing most of it’s flesh as a trophy.

As the comic depicts, I spent a good chunk of my childhood aspiring to BE a Ninja Turtle. Not to dress as one or act like one, but to ACTUALLY grow up choose a career path as a professional Ninja Turtle. I assumed I could position myself in the direct path of oncoming chemical waste trucks over and over until one happened to flip and dous me with ooze in close proximity to an amphibian reptile.

I didn’t get to trick or treat until I was 14. I did it just the once (dressed as The Crow) and realized how lame it was to trick or treat as a teenager. When teens come to my door now asking for candy I say, “Get a job, asshole! Buy your own candy. Plus, it’s June! Why the fuck are you doing door to door asking for candy anyway?!”

I always thought those trash bag costumes (usually available at grocery stores) were just total give ups. What kid slips on a painted dry cleaning bag, and a flimsy plastic mask and feels suddenly transformed into Skeletor or Inspector Gadget? Though, a few years ago my wife and I were passing out candy to neighborhood children when one kid approached us wearing JUST a trash bag. Like a black, 50 gallon garbage sack. I didn’t ask what he was supposed to be. He couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. I just gave him a great big handful of assorted candy and thought “Happy Halloween, you miserable sonofabitch.” Wondering what he was supposed to be haunts me even to this day. A kite? A rain cloud? A trash bag?

So I pose these questions to you:

  • What was trash bag kid supposed to be?
  • What was your best/worst childhood costume?
  • What was your best/worst adult costume?

Hell House 3: The Housening

Take out Eli and Denise, add a 13 year old me and this is a basically a true story. I had to recover deeply repressed memories to bring you this comic (the first in a week of Halloween themed HE’s).

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of a HELL HOUSE, it is essentially a haunted house put on by a fundamentalist Christian church with the intent of giving children night terrors and guilt for things they haven’t even thought of doing yet all for the glory of Christ. When you’re 13 and someone says, “Hey, instead of boring old youth group, we’re going to a haunted house/ hay ride out in the middle of nowhere!” you’re typical response would be “meh.” You’re 13, so everything is pretty much, “meh.” But internally you’re all “sounds cooler than singing praise songs then talking about how we’re better than everyone else for an hour.”

When I said a Hell House is essentially a haunted house… well, it’s not. It IS NOT a haunted house! In a haunted house you pay money to walk through a maze of dark corridors while “actors” dressed as ghouls and monsters jump out and scream at you. Sometimes there’s a chainsaw. It’s fun for every one. I should know, I worked at one in high school. It was pretty much awesome. A Hell House, on the other hand is a place where you pay money to walk through a barn that has been outfitted to look like a house and in each room “actors” act out short vignettes depicting different ways one might damn oneself to Hell. It is seriously a living instruction manual on “How to Win Friends and Get Into Hell.”

Oh, also it’s fucking terrifying when you’re a kid. Also it’s ONLY for kids.

I’ll reconstruct the scenerio as best as my fragile mind can:

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