Booty-Call Accelerator

The Fancy Sketch Drive is on! About 25/100 are already sold. Get in on this and help support me in a time of financial need while getting some sweet original art! I will draw damn near whatever you want (within reason) and I will do it live on Ustream!

Donors and subscribers are getting the first HE iBook/eBook. Drop a few bucks in the bucket and check it out for yourself. Take HE offline wherever you go!

San Diego Comic-Con is next week (holy shit)! I will be hanging out at booth 1332 with Blind Ferret. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE.

The first few HE comics, like the Higgs Boson announcement, are actually lettered in Comic Sans. I never changed the font in those early comics as a way to remind myself where I’d come from and what mistakes I had made. Those were dark times. Times when a man could get a newsletter from his dentist that had Comic Sans all over it. Right in his mailbox. AT HIS HOUSE! Sure, he might see Papyrus in the logo of a local spa or nail salon, but no one should have to deal with such fonts at the place where their children sleep. Dark times indeed.

So I guess the Universe gets to keep on having mass or whatever. S’pretty cool I guess. I mean, the Higgs Boson is neat and all, but I’m saving my excitement for when someone figures out why almost all of everything in the Universe isn’t actually there. I feel like maybe 100% to more than 100% of our resources as a people should be spent on unraveling that particular mystery, because personally it crushes my brain out of existence.

COMMENTERS: If we have sent the Declaration of Independence to England in Comic Sans, I’m pretty sure we’d all not be pronouncing out H’s. So what does a person or product have to do in order for you to immediately NOT take them seriously? Is it specific to your field or area of expertise (ie Is is something most people wouldn’t immediately notice)?

You Can’t Take This Guy From Me

HijiNKS ENSUE eBook iBook iJinks Ensue Drawing Hands Is HardIf you are a Donation Subscriber, you are A) one of my favorite people, and B) going to get an email today with a link to download the first HijiNKS ENSUE iBook/eBook. It’s called iJinks Ensue: Drawing Hands Is Hard, and it contains all of the HE comics from 2007-2008 plus some neat extras at the end.

It will be in iBooks format for iPad and PDF format for everything else. My wife and I have worked CRAZY hard on it, so I really hope you guys enjoy it and understand how much I appreciate your donations. If you are not a donation subscriber and don’t plan to be ($2 a month? C’Mon!), you will be able to get my eBook offerings on a pay-what-you-want donation model starting later today.

Looks like you’re going to have to wait at least one more day to find out what repressed “rememberies” Eli was starting to uncover.

I doubt I will get to see the Firefly panel at SDCC since people are probably already in line for it, but thinking about their “huge announcements” has sent me down a certain train of thought. Has anyone else seen Tron: Uprising on Disney? Can’t you imagine a Firefly/Serenity animated series done exactly in that style? The visuals look serious enough that you can take the story seriously. Does that make sense? And it wouldn’t cost $20 million an hour like the movie did. If the crew can never be reassembled for TV or features again, and the occasional comic just isn’t cutting it, doesn’t animation seem like the most logical choice for carrying on the verse?

Speaking of SDCC: Due to booth problems beyond my control I will not actually have a spot to sit, but I will be hanging out at the Blind Ferret booth (1332) throughout the weekend. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE. Despite the lack of a table I will find a way to do sketches for you. I’ll probably bring a little collapsable stool or something. NEVER GIVE UP! I WILL SKETCH FOR YOU!

Speaking of sketches, money is EXTREMELY tight in HijiNKS land right now, so I am going to do a live sketch drive this week. Starting tomorrow you’ll be able to order custom sketch cards from this site and I will draw them (whatever you requested withing reason) live on Ustream with times to be announced on my Twitter. I’ll probably limit them to 100, but if it’s a success I’ll do it more often.

COMMENTERS: What do you hope they announce at the Firefly 10 year anniversary panel at San Diego Comic-Con? Realistically and in your wildest imagination? How about my animated series idea? How would you see that playing out?

This Is A Safe Place

George R.R. You Done Yet? Shirt, A Game Of Thrones Parody Funny Shirt George R.R. Martin

Sometimes you have let the one’s you love know how their path to self destruction is really inconveniencing you. Other times you have to say, “F-Balls to that!” and go grind your man-bits (Tim Bits if you’re Canadian) right into another man’s pants-parts while the sweet sounds of oontz-oontz-oontz rhythmically lull you into the waiting appendages of anonymous club sex. You know how it goes.

I’m not entirely sure Eli actually needs an intervention. I suspect something much more sinister is behind his recent constant drankishness. Or maybe he’s an alcoholic. I guess we’ll see.

Oh, and Oreo? You didn’t have to do anything to make me love you more than all other cookies, but it’s nice that you tried.

The initial Preorder for the Lil’ Wil Wheaton plushie ends on 6/30/12. If you definitely want one before the holidays, NOW is the time to order.

The first HE iBook/eBook is nearly done. You can see the cover HERE. Donation subscribers will get it for free. Everyone else will be able to get it for a pay-what-you-like donation.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever intervened for a friend or family member on a NON-life threatening problem? Ever gotten up the courage to tell a room mate they needed to bathe more often, or that eating nothing but Romen noodles was going to kill them? I guess that IS life-threatening. I once flat out told a guy (friend of a friend, but not MY friend) that he couldn’t come into our apartment any more because he reeked so terribly if cigarettes that it made my eyes water and and my allergies go nuts. He remained not my friend from that day forth.

Know What I’m Saying, Holmes?

UPDATE 05/18/12: Donation subscribers of any level will get access to an RSS feed with the full comic in it.

I am going to be at Dallas Comic Con this weekend with Randy Milholland of Something Positive. I will ONLY BE THERE SATURDAY. Randy will be there Saturday and Sunday. You can find us at table 132. I will have books, prints, stickers and sketch cards, but no shirts. Really testing the waters on this one. If you guys come out and make it a good show, I will probably be back next year in full force.

HijinKS ENSUE at Dallas Comic Con 2012

Here’s another stand alone to break up the continuity before the next mini story arc. Read more about the new direction I am taking the comic in and how you can help HERE if you haven’t already.

Gigantic thanks to everyone that has donated last week, especially to the new donation subscribers. If you enjoy HE and would like to see it continue and even flourish, I have added $2, $3, and $4 monthly donation subscription options. If you can spare $2 a month for a bunch of comics, I would consider you to be a pretty awesome type of person.

I am giving T-shirt ads in the posts a rest for a couple of weeks while I make some new ones, but why not check out The HE Store anyway? It’s still there.

Professional Science Doers project that by 2020 we will have moved to an entirely Sherlock Holmes-based entertainment society. Between House, Moffat’s Sherlock, Robert Downey Jr.’s steampunk bromance with Jude Law, and the new CBS Holmes series, Elementary, I just don’t see any way out of this inevitability. I say we all start investing in double-brimmed caps, pipes, magnifying glasses and cocaine before the crowd gets wind of this. And yes, I am counting any and all modern iterations of Jekyll And Hyde in this equation for obvious reasons. Or rather, for what are OBVIOUSLY reasons. Reasons that I have. Reasons that you should not question. Reasons involving scarves.

COMMENTERS: Do we need a new Holmes-boy, or is one Sherlock enough? Any thoughts on the upcoming House series finale? How are you hoping it will resolve? Personally I’m glad it’s ending now rather than dragging for another year. This last season really felt like a running start towards the shark with strong intent to jump. Otherwise, please make up more silly British detective names.

Guest Comic By Brian Patterson Of D20 Monkey

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt! 

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

Since I am packing and print-making and prepping for C2E2, Brian Patterson was kind enough to provide you with an illustrated funny-time concerning role playing, Time Lords and a completely different kind of role playing. Brian makes a comic called D20 Monkey, which should quite adequately fill the dungeon and or dragon shaped hole in your geek soul that HE just doesn’t do anything for. Brian did THIS other HE guest comic last June, this one from March and THIS guest comic for my friend Alina just a few weeks ago. He has a shirt HERE that I think is amazingly well designed and funny, even though I would be a total poser if I were to wear it.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever had a game or movie or whatever that you were just DYING to share with your friends? Something from childhood that you might have perhaps been remembering through a filter of stupid child memories? Did it live up to the hype or were you disappointed and embarrassed. This has happened to be a few times with movies. The first was the partial-Python Beatles spoof The Rutles*, and the other was the 90’s gangta rap Spinal Tap homage Fear Of A Black Hat. Both were quite unique and hysterical when I first saw them (around age 15), but context is everything. In the intervening decade the mockumentary format was run pretty square into the ground, and I (as well as those I was so excited to share these films with) had become desensitized and jaded to the genre.

*Upon further reflection I might be confusing my second later in life viewing of The Rutles with a different post-Python project called Ripping Yarns. The Rutles might still be hilarious.

C2E2 in Chicago is this weekend! I’ll be with Blind Ferret at Booth 432. More details HERE
If you are coming to C2E2, you really don’t want to miss our panel:

Panel: Webcomics Roundtable With Blind Ferret and Explosm!
Date: 4/14/2012
Time: 4:00PM – 5:00PM
Location: N426c

Come to this thing! It will be 100 funs!