Emerald City Comicon 2012 Fancy Sketches

Get it now @ Sharksplode! Scan it. It really works!

Wil Wheaton QR Code T-Shirt, The Code, @wilw, WilW, WWDN, Scannable Wil Wheaton Shirt

When a Fancy Bastard at Emerald City Comicon walked up, dropped some delicious monies in my cup and said, “Can you draw Wil Wheaton sitting on a throne of dicks?” he seemed almost puzzled at the speed with which I said, “Yup,” and got to work. It was as if he thought I didn’t have that image fully formed in my mind meer nanoseconds after the words escaped his lips. Everything I had drawn up until that point had prepared me to fully realize the dick throne in two dimensions on paper without the slightest hesitation.

ECCC 2012 was a record convention for sketches. The ones shown above are some of my favorites. I personally drew over 50 commissioned sketches in 3 days. At most shows I do 15 or so max, not including quick book doodles. Of those 50, at least 1/3 if not 1/2 involved Wil Wheaton in some fashion. When he and I are exhibiting at the same show there tends to be this fandom wormhole between our booths. Our mutual fans tend to stop at my booth, get a sketch of Wil doing or saying something questionable, then stand in line for hours to get him to sign it, then return it to me for final approval. It’s pretty awesome to think that there are people in the world that hold us both in a similar regard, or at least consider us both as “people that make neat stuff that I like.”

Last year at Phoenix Comicon, Wil and I had this deal going that I would “sexify” any of his Wesley Crusher headshots. His fans would bring their purchased photos to my booth, and I would essentially ruin them by drawing a beard on Wesley and writing “It’s sexy time!” in a speech bubble. That was one of my favorite things ever.

You can read Wil’s quick write up on the con HERE and see the couple that inspired the Nyan Wheaton drawing HERE.

COMMENTERS: What’s your most prized souvenir, signed item, sketch, etc from a celebrity (internet or otherwise) that you got at a signing or convention? 

Winter Is Coming

UPDATE: “Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!!

I’ve been tossing this Calvin and Hobbes meets Game of Thrones idea around for a while. Originally it was going to be Calvin/Jon Snow and Hobbes/Sam standing atop the wall mirroring the dialog from the final Calvin And Hobbes strip, ending with “Let’s Go Exploring.” As I was doing research for reference images I came across the cover to the Attack… collection and realized it was basically already a scene out of GoT, complete with a White Walker and everything. So there you go. I hope you enjoy it.

Joel Watson of HijiNKS ENSUE at Baltimore Comicon 2011

Baltimore Comic-Con is this weekend! I will be in the Artist Alley right next to Dannielle Corsetto at Table #A187 or so. I will have books 1 and 2, “The Doctor Is In” shirts, “Team Edward [James Olmos]” shirts and “Ewok Stare” shirts, plus prints, stickers and Fancy Sketches.

We have had a really fantastic Fancy Bastard meetup each year. Details HERE on G+ or talk to FB Adam (who is organizing it) directly on G+ or Twitter. Hope to see you at the show and the meetup!

Commenters: Please come up with your own Game Of Thrones/ Sunday Comics crossover and let us know how it plays out. I’ll get you started: The Family Circus as the Lannisters. Jeffy = Joffrey? Right? Amirite?

UPDATE: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscriptionand you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.


Burn Ban

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

CONVENTION NEWS: Connecticon is almost right now!!!. Come see me and David and Ryan and Lar and the Explosm quadruplets and much many mores!

HijiNKS ENSUE Joel Watson at Connecticon 2011

My daughter only likes fireworks in 2 ways: big and far away or tiny and close up. We tried some bottle rockets and such last year, but she found the whole ordeal pretty terrifying. So this year we kept our incendiary festivities low key. Just a few smoke bombs, spinning flowers, sparklers, poppers and those little ones that spin around then shoot up into the air. We waited for dusk, then went down to the end of the cul de sac with our neighbors who have a son about our daughter’s age. All was going swimmingly. Things were smoking and sparkling and changing colors. Chemicals were reacting like nobody’s business. The founding fathers would have been proud.

Then, right as we were about to pack up and head out to watch the town fireworks display, one of the spinny-shooty jobber’s fuse backfired (I am still trying to figure out exactly how this happened). Basically I lit the end of the fuse and instead of spraying sparks outward as the previous dozen had done, it shot sparks down at my hand. It was like the fuse burned incredibly fast, or somehow the actual firework began to ignite as soon as the flame hit the fuse. I was burned on the left thumb pretty severely. I grabbed a popsicle, the only icy thing we had on hand, and kept it against my newly seared digit.

I’m not going to lie, I bitched and moaned like a little moany bitch. It fucking hurt. I mean IT. FUCKING. HURT. I kept a cold compress on it, and my wife went to the pharmacy to look for a miracle salve or a box of replacement thumbs. Here’s where the comedy comes in. She finds these little gel pads that you stick on the burned area with medical tape (which worked like a charm incidentally), heads to the check out (this is just before midnight on July 4) and three out of three people in line were buying burn remedies. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA! WE SET OURSELVES ON FIRE FOR YOU!

I feel like on the fourth and new years the pharmacy should put all the creams, salves, aloe and bandages right up by the front door like Wal-Mart does with the umbrellas when it’s raining or the cranberry sauce on Thanksgiving. These are high demand items and we don’t need to be searching all over the store for them! Especially considering the shopper or one of their loved ones is probably still a little bit on fire.

COME ON DOWN TO THE CVS PHARMACY FOURTH OF JULY MEGA BLOWOUT SALE! We’ve got aloe! We’ve got ointments! We got 50% off disinfectant sprays and buy one get one free bandages! We’ve got gauze so sterile, you’ll have to wrap it loosely around your seeping wounds to believe it!

COMMENTERS: Have you ever been involved in or witnessed a fireworks disaster? What about non-disastrous fireworks related shenanigans?

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

Got GoT?

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

My Friend Lar saw this shirt and drew THIS. It’s amazingly wonderful.

Anybody hear about this Game Of Thrones show? No? I guess it sort of flew under the radar, because people haven’t been talking about it on the Internet non-stop for months and months or anything.

I had been purposefully ignoring the glowing reviews of Game Of Thrones because I didn’t have HBO and I didn’t want to bother trying to acquire the show through other means. As I get older I look at every Torrent and ask myself, “Is this hour of entertainment going to be the one that costs me a $35,000 settlement?” I am old.

When I noticed an HBO free preview weekend on my HD Fiber TVmawhosits I hoped I might luck into a GoT marathon that I could record for later viewing at my leisure. Alas, there was no such marathon, but the entire series was available via On Demand. I had a very important decision to make. The free preview only lasted another 26 hours, and there were 10 one hour episodes to devour. In order to consume a media-meal this large I would have to forsake all other responsibilities. Sleep, work, my family, all liabilities that were keeping me from being caught up on the new thing all the Internet kids are Internetting about. “Eff it! I’m going for it!” And for it go I did… go.

I was surprised how little the show resembled Lord Of the Rings in tone. LoTR is very grand. The scope of the story, the settings and the characters are equally vast. GoT is almost the opposite. Instead of an epic struggle against ultimate evil for the fate of the world, GoT focusses on about 40 characters internal struggle to “get theirs.” The story masquerades as grand because there are kings and castles and knights and wars and talk of dragons, but it is actually very small and very human. It’s a tale of selfishness and petty jealously. The only great evil resides in the schemes and machinations of nearly every characters in the show. They’re all just terrible people (except for most of the Starks).

One thing I find confusing about the series (and the books too, I suppose) is the fact that [SPOILERS] nearly everyone dies. Like everyone. Just as you are saying to yourself, ” Oh man, if that guy gets to do the thing he wants to do, it’s totally going to fuck up the things those other guys want to do,” he dies. Then the other guys die. Major plot threads just build and fizzle due to character death. I understand this is Martin’s thing and all, but it’s… jarring? [/SPOILERS] Regardless I really enjoyed the series and look forward to season two. I might even sign up for HBO for a few months just to watch it in real time. Though I admit, seeing 5 eps back to back was SO much more satisfying than waiting week to week. Also, Peter Dinklage fucking rules.

Anyway, here are some GoT greeting cards slogans I made up on Twitter:

“You put the IMP in PIMP.”

“Congrats Graduate! Once you take The Black, you never go back… to having sex.”

“Happy Fathuncle’s Day!”

“You’re Hodorable!”

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

MUSIC!: My friend Tom Brislin has started a Kickstarter to raise money to record his first solo album. Fans of the HE Podcast will know his music from… the HE Podcast. Tom is a fantastic song writer, a virtuoso piano player and one of my favorite creative people on the planet. Please back his project so that I may hear the wonderful musics that are currently stuck in his brain.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to post your SPOILER FREE thoughts on Game Of Thrones or make up your own G0T greeting card slogans.

The Mystery Box

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

BIG NEWS! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those.

NEWS 2: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, GuttersGirls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half.

Make sure you check out my guest comic over at Sam & Fuzzy! It is one of my favorite things that I have ever made (for serious). It stars Sam, Jeph and me and finally brings to life my favorite of Sam’s intentionally terrible shirt ideas all the way back from SDCC 2010.

Sam And Fuzzy Guest Comic

To Josh, vaginas might as well be the Higgs boson particle. He can see evidence of their existence and their perceived effect on objects around them, but he can’t directly view them or fully understand their purpose.

I still haven’t seen a single episode of Game Of Thrones, but from what I understand the season is nearly over so I should be able to acquire it and binge the whole thing over a weekend pretty soon. The typical post show review I see on the Twitters goes something like: “OMG GAMEOFTHRONES WTFBALLS?!?!?!! WHY IS THIS SHOW SO RAPEY?! ALSO WHY IS IT SO GOOOOOOOD?!?!?!? #aGameOfRape #aRapeOfThrones #twincest #soooorapey #sexslaves #bestshow” Being the world’s foremost Internet cryptographer, I am able to feed those mad ramblings into my Code-puter, cross reference them with The Talmud and decipher what is essentially a positive review. Good enough for me.

COMMENTERS: I Feel free to post your spoiler free thoughts on the Game Of Thrones television program or other stuff. You know. Whatever.