Pornographique

This is a 100% true story about the time my good friend, David Willis, gave me a boner with his brain. Well, technically he drew the cards with his hands, so… yeah, he basically straight up gave me a handy. Looks, all I know is he had a brain and some hands and then there was art and shame. What more is there in life? Absolutely nothing. You got your brainhands, and your artshame and that’s it.

FANCY BASTARD BULLETIN! 
Tuesday June 3rd is my birthday (I’m almost positive I’m turning 33). If you like to help me celebrate, please feel free to check out:

The Patreon is honestly the greatest thing you can do for me in terms of making sure I am still able to do HijiNKS ENSUE as my full time job. Otherwise, I’ll happily take an Internet high five via Twitter or Facebook.

COMMENTERS: What could I possibly ask you relating to this topic that wouldn’t bring on a bunch of things I don’t actually want to know? How about this: Have you ever become a fan of a friend? This happens A LOT in my line of work, but have you ever known an artist or musician or pornographer or comedian in real life that you are now a genuine fan of outside of your friendship?

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I also made you this super cute Adventure Time/Doctor Who shirt. GO BUY IT! 

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A Load Of Bullshirt

UPDATE: You guys demanded it, so the Transformers shirt in the last panel is a real thing now. 

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Of course comic Joel is reacting to the shirt he saw in THIS COMIC in the only way he knows how: with equal measures of drawing dumb stuff and righteous indignation. That’ll show the world.

COMMENTERS: What’s the most ignorant of offensive t-shirt you’ve ever seen? It doesn’t have to be within the context of geek culture, but that might help to keep things in context. Please don’t get into political tees. That will open up a whole thing I don’t really want to get into on this site. What about the most right on, inclusive or inspirational tee you’ve seen?

Fancy Patrons got to see this comic a day early (albeit in a rough draft fashion).

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Guest Comic By Natalie Metzger

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

Thank you so much for treating me so kindly while I visited your fine city, and thank you to my friends/brothers from  Cyanide & Happiness for hosting me and letting me play in there sandbox once again. I worked harder and drew more at this con than I ever have in my entire life. We, Rob Denbleyker and I, literally sketched for 9 hours a day, 4 days in a row with no more than a 15 minute break each day. My hands are sore, my brain is tired, and my heart is full of Alberta beaf… no, wait. My stomach… no, pretty sure it’s my heart. 

I hope to see you again next year, Calgary!

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RE: This comic
When I was at Emerald City Comicon last month, I received the first ever piece of “post-reboot” HE fan art
(WARNING: ADORBS) from Fancy Bastard Natalie Metzger. She contacted me and offered a guest comic for my Calgary trip and I was all too happy to accept. Oh, little bottles of booze, you will surely be my undoing. You and the Great Old Ones. But mostly you.

Natalie has two webcomics going on right now:

http://cthulhuslippers.com and http://over-encumbered.com

She also has a website/hub here:  http://thefuzzyslug.com

STORE STUFF!
There are some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them. Appease your lamenting walls!

Merchandising 101

[actually posted on 4/22/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I have a pretty cool idea for how to get caught up this week, that I think many of you are going to enjoy. More on that when it’s actually a thing. I’ve also got a pretty sweet guest comic lined up for while I’m away at Calgary Expo.

CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

Calgary Expo 2014

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.

RE: This comic
David’s a real person, and one of my best friends. I am also a real person. Comic Joel is a fictionalized version of myself. Comic David is a HYPER-fictionalized version of David IRL. I hate explaining jokes, but I thought it was necessary to explain this distinction to prevent anyone else from thinking I am being rude, or cruel to my actual real life friend.

Speaking of selling things related to comics TO people, AT places, a reader asked me for some business advice and I posted my answers to her questions here on my Tumblr.

STORE UPDATE!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

The first ever HijiNKS HANGOUT was fun! My guests were be David Willis and Angela Melick and you can view the archived stream HERE. If you miss the HE Podcast, the HijiNKS HANGOUT is probably a thing that will make you happy. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges for the next one to #HijiNKSHangout.

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Give As Good As You Get

[actually posted on 4/21/14] Still playing catch up and still a week behind on comics. I have a pretty cool idea for how to get caught up this week, that I think many of you are going to enjoy. More on that when it’s actually a thing.

RE: This comic
Get it? It’s because I envy David’s enormous audience and all his success!
HAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, good times. Good times. Seriously, though, I DO envy David. Not for his readership, but for his work ethic. On a good day, David draws four comics. In a good WEEK, I draw three. I’m working on… working on it. I also want to recognize that David has been very kind about sharing these comics staring him with his readers, and I know they are not actually butt-eyed trolls. Jealousy can make you say hurtful things about eyes and butts. I’m certain they are wonderful people, who perhaps need another webcomic in their lives.

STORE UPDATE!
Some of the shirts in the HE Store on are MAJORLY on sale, because they aren’t going to be printed again. Some are down to the last few sizes. Get ’em while you can! There are also some great PRINTS and POSTERS in the store. Your walls cry out for them.

Apparently they found an extra box of Lil’ Wils hiding in the warehouse, so there’s maybe 50 or 60 of these little dudes left between now and the heat death of The Universe.

The Patreon Patron-ONLY Hangout was fun! It was just me and a handful of Patrons shooting various shits for an hour or so. For part of it they watched me draw a commission I was working on while we talked about conventions and such. There will be another one next month, and if you’re a $10 Patron or above, you are SUPER INVITED to join in!

The first ever HijiNKS HANGOUT was also fun! My guests were be David Willis and Angela Melick and you can view the archived stream HERE. If you miss the HE Podcast, the HijiNKS HANGOUT is probably a thing that will make you happy. Tweet your discussion topics, questions and drawing challenges for the next one to #HijiNKSHangout.

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CALGARY FANCY BASTARDS!

Calgary Expo 2014

I will be at Calgary Expo as part of Cyanide & Happiness in booth 622. It’ll be me and Rob Denbleyker doing stick figure dick sketches, and I’ll also have some HE prints and shirts.