JoCo Cruise Crazy 2 Fancy Photo Comic Part 4

Ewok Stare Shirt, Ewoks Carebear stare t-shirt, funny star wars shirts, empire strikes back parody

EWOK STAAAAAAAAARE!!!!!

My “2 or 3 JoCo Cruise Crazy Photo Comics” plan has evolved into a “stop when you run out of photos” plan. Luckily, I am nearly out of photos. I have one more proper Fancy Photo Comic planned for tomorrow and perhaps a special Dolphi-jinks photo comic for the weekend. THEN I can return to crafting actual comic’d laugh panels from raw pixel ore and pen sweat.

I thank you all for indulging me during this unusually long stretch of irregular HE content. It really helps me to process the JoCo Cruise Crazy experience by getting it out in these comics. And, for those of you that appreciate them, it’s a way to give you something back for allowing me to take the trip in the first place.

John Hodgman was actually trying to photo bomb (Hodg-bomb) our “prom pics” on the stairs. That in itself should be the recruitment slogan for JCCC3. “John Hodgman tried to photo bomb us! Oh, the whole boat is sold out now because of how fantastic that slogan was? Ok. Neat.”

I really wish you could have seen David psyching himself up to ask for DOUBLE THE LOBSTER MEAT with his dinner. “It’s supposed to be unlimited, right? I mean how can they say no? I PAID TO BE TREATED LIKE A SPECIAL BOY GOD DAMNIT! SPECIAL BOY WANTS TWO LOBSTERS! SPECIAL BOY WANTS TWO LOBSTERS!” When he finally got to pop the shameful question and the waiter just kind of shrugged an “of course you want two lobsters you piece of shit” shrug and nodded his head in apathetic acknowledgement that every action in his life had lead him to this point, I’m pretty sure David’s boner exploded. He really did tear into it like a bear cracking open a turtle with a river rock. He was sucking every pore of that bottom feeding creature for any remnant of succulent butter-meats. It was like dinner and a freak show.

COMMENTERS: What’s the craziest request you’ve ever been obliged in a service situation? It could be a restaurant, hotel, vacation, car dealership, etc. Anything that proves, “You’ll never know until you ask.” Do you work in service? What’s the craziest request you’ve ever received? Did you do it?

UPDATE: Here’s a closeup of the TARDIS fezzes my wife and I made. 

Handmade TARDIS Fezzes

The Future Imperfect

This weekend, on one of our rare, child-free nights my wife and I drove downtown to see Josh and his husband Jeff for dinner and movies. They live in a very nice neighborhood full of affluent types with fancy homes that just so happens to be about 40 feet away from the murdery, crack-rocky part of town. This is just how downtown Dallas is laid out and there’s no escaping it if that’s where you choose to hang your hat or your sack of rocks.

THE HIJINKS ENSUE STORE IS A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN BUY STUFF!!!

Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

Due to the infrequency with which I visit this area, and my constant focus on not being murdered, I am unable to commit the directions to memory and thus employ a GPS to get me safely there. On the way the GPS said something very much like panel one above and I found myself mocking a machine’s elocution. A machine that knows exactly where I am, within 4 or 5 feet, because it can talk to 3 different satellite that are in space because we put them there with rocket ships. Is there a word that means “jaded by unfathomable privilege?” Because that’s what I am. Also, it should imply that I’m a terrible asshole for not being thankful each day and marveling at the wonders that surround me. Still, when my GPS says “parkway” it sounds like a Dutch exchange student. “Paaarqueaugh?”

Instead of a movie, we watched the first episode of Misfits. We all really liked it. Many of you Fancy Bastards have recommended it, so as soon as I can procure the rest of the series I will ploy through and make some comics about it. Oh, and if you don’t get the Top Gear reference, watch HERE.

COMMENTERS: What technological marvels do you find yourself taking for granted? What would be the best or worst voice for your GPS to have?

Assisted Mobility

Sharktopus Vs. DinoVampire Vs. CyberYeti!
The Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator Shirt!!!

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Here’s some reference material in case this comic is causing you to have a confusion stroke. If it isn’t then we can probably be best friends.

As I delve deeper into the world of the Doctor (currently all caught up on 11, about half of 10 and just started on 9), I see more and more parallels from the rest of science fiction as a whole. It really is a sort of “everything to everyone” sci-fi series that borrows as much from Star Trek as it does from Ray Bradbury. That isn’t to say Doctor Who isn’t original. Far from it. It’s just that with a premise that has literally NO boundaries as far as what kind of stories it can tell and in what setting or with what characters, it is helpful that it tends to stay grounded in familiar sci-fi tropes. I think that helps you not to feel lost despite the fact that each episode introduces you to a new setting and a wholly unknown set of circumstances. If Doctor Who were Star Trek, Science Fiction as a whole would be the Enterprise. The genre is the comfortable surrounding that creates the “walls” of the show.

Thanks to my buddy Wil for helping me flesh out the idea for this comic. I actually came up with it while talking to him about Doctor Who a few weeks back [that sentence was nearly too geeky to type]. You should totally check out his recent appearance on The Nerdist Podcast. He is just a genuinely great guy and the more I learn about him, the more I respect him.

Regarding the Daleks: When I’m designing evil major appliances with the intent of taking over the universe, I might want to pull out the old space tape measure and jot down the dimensions of a few average sized doorways. Seems like a narrow foyer is enough to stop these demented dish washers in their tracks.

Regarding Captain Pike: Look, I know it was the 60’s, but if you can imagine interstellar travel and super computers, why can’t you imagine a world where a paraplegic can do a little more than go forward, back up, and answer “yes” or “no” questions? This “future-tech” doesn’t work as well as taping a laser pointer to his head and pointing him at a Ouija board. I rewatched “The Menagerie” in preparation for this comic. I was surprised how good the story actually was. The 60’s camp and occasional extreme over acting was still there, but at it’s root there is a very cool sci-fi idea. I do, however, think it would have been a better idea if captain Pike was told to beep once for “truth” and twice for “dare.” Also, does anyone else get the impression that if you open the hood on pike’s chair it’s basically just a Port-O-John inside? I bet they just park him over a drain and turn on the hose.