Not My Hero

HEY! This comic is a shirt now!

Superman: Where is The Birth Certificate Shirt

If you are waiting on your copy of HE Book 2, PLEASE READ THIS!!!

This incredibly stupid idea hit me last night while watching TV. I did a quick Google search to see if anyone had already thought of it and came across this article about Law And The Multiverse: a blog that discusses the real world legal ramifications that superheroes would face. They actually talk about a Superman story line where, in an alternate universe, Supes became president of the U.S. There’s a decent little line of logic that proves he’s an American-born citizen. Fun stuff, so check it out.

COMMENTERS: Let’s keep the crazy train rolling full steam right into Metropolis. Give me your best Superman-Birther slogan. Here are a few more:

The Last son of WHERE exactly?
Go back to Krypton… Oh, that’s right. YOU BLEW IT UP. Don’t let Superman blow up Earth too (or Earth 2).
Superman? Or Super Socialist?
Why is your identity a secret? TIME FOR THE TRUTH!
In America we speak ENGLISH, NOT Kryptonian!
[picture of Lex Luthor] “Miss me yet?”
Clark “Kal El” Kent: There’s an illegal alien at the Daily Planet
Secret identity? More like secret lie-entity, amirite?

 

Guest Comic By Gordon McAlpin Of “Multiplex”

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE.

TEAM EDWARD [James Olmos]

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

Very special thanks to Gordon McAplin who makes a comic called Multiplex. You should check it out. Gordon and I first met sharing a table at last year’s C2E2 and I was shocked at how many people came up to comment on how much they loved his… dick jokes?… No… clever pop-culture references?… No… wait for it… his… HIS CHARACTERS! WHAT?! The the hell are characters? Whatever they are, and however they fit into a webcomic (I seriously have no idea), people were quite impressed with his ability to tell a real human story about the employees of a Chicago movie theater that was both compelling, dramatic and funny. Weird, right?

Either way, I don’t trust Gordon because he claims to be 7 years older than me, while appearing at least 5 years younger than me (I suspect Filipino sorcery), but I do trust comic readers to know when they genuinely enjoy free entertainment. So what have you got to lose? MONEY! THAT’s WHAT! Go buy his book! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO! It sold out at Emerald City Comicon in the first 2 days and I didn’t even get one! You know who got the last one? A BIG SHOT TV PRODUCER! They know everything, so do as he did and part with your delicious cashes.

La Mujer Gato y El Luchador Mal

Ewok Stare T-Shirt Close UpThere is a new HE Podcast.
Download episode 77!

You can still order Ultimate Fancy Editions of HE Book 2 AND get your name in the book until I tell you otherwise. Could be a few more days, or longer. Not Sure Yet. There are about 30 left and selling them ALL is super important in order for me to afford the full print run without having to go into the red.

I’m going to finish out the week with Lo-FiJINKS comics so I can focus on some stuff for the book (have you preordered yours yet?).

Personally I really do not care to see Bane in The Dark Knight Rises, but I would love to see Catwoman done well on the big screen. Bruce needs to have a steady “normal” girlfriend who he is trying use to keep himself grounded in the real world, then BAM! Selina Kyle comes along and dickflips his world six ways from Sunday. I love how that particular Batman trope shows the duality of Bruce/Batman. How they are really two different people, which is something we haven’t seen in the Nolan films yet. He’s getting there, but you don’t have true Batman until he’s completely batnipples insane. All of this was perfectly explored in Batman: The Animated Series (which we all know is the best portrayal of Batman in any media).

COMMENTERS: What do you think of the villain choices? What about the actors? Any other characters or stories you would have preferred to see explored? This is probably Bale’s last Batman film. Where should the franchise go from here?

    What An As Hole

    UPDATE: The Book 2 presale has begun!
    Hijinks Ensue Holiday CardsThis is a comic about multiple disappointments. The first is concerning NASA’s announcement that they found non-carbon-based life on earth found some bacteria that don’t die when you replace their phosphorus with arsenic, or whatever. First contact this is not. The second is related to the all CG costume in the Green Lantern movie and how silly it looks [hint: EXTREMELY SILLY]. When I first saw the trailer on Youtube as a clip from some entertainment news magazine show it was super small, super grainy and the costume looked embarrassing. Then I saw a second clip from the same show, but cleaned up and more clear. It was still small but at that point I thought I might have misjudged the rediculatude of the costume. Then I saw the full HD trailer and realized that it looked just as crazy titty-balls as I had originally thought and the film makers had made a huge mistake. There was a valley in the curve of the quality of the various trailers. We’ll call it “Hope Valley.” Just after hope valley there’s a steep jump off into “Plastic Neon Glowin 8-Pack Nonsense Abs Chasm.” No one survives the fall.

    NEWS!!!

    The HE Podcast site is somewhat broken and I can’t properly post the new episode. In the meantime you can download it directly HERE. UPDATE: It’s fixed and Episode 73 is HERE.

    Check out these damn HE Holiday cards in the store! You need to get them now so you can receive them in time to mail them back out before the Squash Lord crawls through your heating ducts and puts meat pies in your shoes!

    HE Book 2 goes up for pre-order on Monday 12/6/2010. Without a successful pre-order there will be NO BOOK. This is also your only chance to get an artist edition other than at cons.

    Speaking of cons: Austin/San Antonio Fancy Bastards MUST ATTEND the Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage next weekend (12/11 to 12/12/2010)

    Here is a video that FB Locke Cole made for school regarding copyright using some clips from an interview that I did.

    Hulk: El Hombre Increíble

    UPDATE: Or maybe this didn’t happen at all.

    In the same week it was announced that former TV Hulk, Lou “The Ferrigs” Ferrigno, was joining Steven “Fat Karate” Seagal in the Arizona Anti-Illegal Immigration Marauder Posse Squad Strike Force Delta, AND that Guillermo “The Most Mexican Director In Hollywood” del Toro would be bringing a new Hulk TV series to ABC.

    Keep Your Laws Off My Ovipositor T-ShirtI can put up with a lot of things, but brand disparity among individuals loosely affiliated with the same fictional property is ALWAYS where I draw the line. I guess. Come on, The Incredible Hulk Franchise. Pro-Mexican or Anti-Mexican? Pick a side. We’re at war.

    Is it just me, or does this story make it seem like Steven Seagal actually is the character he played in Robert Rodriguez’s Machete? Pro-tip for illegals trying to sneak past Lou Ferrigno at the border: he’s partially deaf. Stay behind him and be very, very quiet. If he catches you in a sleeper hold, it’s lights out.

    For those unfamiliar with Eli’s Vespa-riding doppleganger, it is his friend Alex. He last appeared in THIS COMIC taking Eli’s place after Eli asked for too much imaginary comic money.

    COMMENTERS: This whole thing just screams, “set up for a reality show.” Name the show, come up with the tagline, and/or give us an episode synopsis. I’ll get you started:

    “Bean Counters with Lou Ferrigno and Steven Seagal! We’re taking these illegals back to brown-town!”