Fancy Bastards Assemble!

FANCY BASTARDS ASSEMBLE! Here’s your chance to help me do something very special for my family and in return get something very special of your own.

SHORT VERSION: For $35 you (and 99 other Fancy Bastards) will get the “Fancy Bastards Assemble!” 11″x 17″ print, plus an additional signed, large sized 11″x 17″ print of your choice (“The Doctor Is In,” “Winter Is Coming” or “Yatta Bub!”). For $55 you can get all 4 prints! As I get closer to the goal I will reveal more of the characters on the limited print HERE ON THIS PAGE.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER! [SOLD OUT]

LONG VERSION: Being self employed has many rewards: no set hours, no boss, no commute, but it also has its drawbacks: no healthcare, no steady paycheck and NO VACATION! With your help I aim to do something about that last one. My wife and I haven’t been on a real, adult vacation since our honeymoon 7 years ago. We have set a goal of joining the Sea Monkeys of JoCo Cruise Crazy 2. Unfortunately this is AN INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE GOAL. We need to raise $3500 for the trip. To that end, I have created a limited (to only 100), signed and numbered print featuring the HE cast as a familiar super hero team.

EXPANDED VERSION: At least a dozen of my friends, and a dozen more people I greatly admire and would like to become friends with are going on this cruise. Last year they had such an amazing time THEY ALL STILL TALK ABOUT IT CONSTANTLY. I want to share in this communal geek experience at sea, and I want to share it with my family. If you can help me achieve this goal I will (continue to) be eternally grateful. Plus you get a some fancy wall art out of the deal. Everyone wins.

UPDATE 10/26/11: HOLY EFFING ESS OUT MY AYY! 60/100 Print packs are already gone! I thought this was going to take weeks, not hours. I am completely floored. I have just revealed two more characters. The final 3 will be unveiled when we reach the 100/100 goal. Giant happy thanks to all those that have ordered so far!

UPDATE AGAIN: WOW! There are only 3 print packs left as of this writing. I have updated the comic with Josh in all his hulking glory and will add the last two after the final 3 are sold. Thank you guys so much for the wonderful support.

UPDATE 10/27/11: All 100 print packs are sold out! I expected this to take weeks if not months instead of days. I have to escalate the production and shipping schedule accordingly. I will add the last couple of characters to the comic/print in the next few days. Thank you all so much for the support! If you didn’t get a chance to order before they sold out, I might make the 3 bonus prints available in a pack for $30 if there is any interest.

UPDATE 11/2/11: The final two Fancy Bastards are revealed. Wil Wheaton and Mikey Neumann! Wil is just this guy, you know? And Mikey is the creative director of Gearbox Software (Brothers In Arms, Borderlands, Aliens: Colonial Marines). Mikey previously appeared on HE in THIS comic. He assumes the guise of Director Fury since, after surviving a stroke, he actually wears an eyepatch from time to time.

For those of you that didn’t get a chance to order one of the 100 limited prints, you can donate any amount and get a desktop wallpaper of this image in THE VAULT.

HijiNKS ENSUE Fancy Bastards Assemble Desktop

Guest Comic By Gordon McAlpin Of “Multiplex”

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE.

TEAM EDWARD [James Olmos]

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

Very special thanks to Gordon McAplin who makes a comic called Multiplex. You should check it out. Gordon and I first met sharing a table at last year’s C2E2 and I was shocked at how many people came up to comment on how much they loved his… dick jokes?… No… clever pop-culture references?… No… wait for it… his… HIS CHARACTERS! WHAT?! The the hell are characters? Whatever they are, and however they fit into a webcomic (I seriously have no idea), people were quite impressed with his ability to tell a real human story about the employees of a Chicago movie theater that was both compelling, dramatic and funny. Weird, right?

Either way, I don’t trust Gordon because he claims to be 7 years older than me, while appearing at least 5 years younger than me (I suspect Filipino sorcery), but I do trust comic readers to know when they genuinely enjoy free entertainment. So what have you got to lose? MONEY! THAT’s WHAT! Go buy his book! GO GO GO GO GO GO GO! It sold out at Emerald City Comicon in the first 2 days and I didn’t even get one! You know who got the last one? A BIG SHOT TV PRODUCER! They know everything, so do as he did and part with your delicious cashes.

What An As Hole

UPDATE: The Book 2 presale has begun!
Hijinks Ensue Holiday CardsThis is a comic about multiple disappointments. The first is concerning NASA’s announcement that they found non-carbon-based life on earth found some bacteria that don’t die when you replace their phosphorus with arsenic, or whatever. First contact this is not. The second is related to the all CG costume in the Green Lantern movie and how silly it looks [hint: EXTREMELY SILLY]. When I first saw the trailer on Youtube as a clip from some entertainment news magazine show it was super small, super grainy and the costume looked embarrassing. Then I saw a second clip from the same show, but cleaned up and more clear. It was still small but at that point I thought I might have misjudged the rediculatude of the costume. Then I saw the full HD trailer and realized that it looked just as crazy titty-balls as I had originally thought and the film makers had made a huge mistake. There was a valley in the curve of the quality of the various trailers. We’ll call it “Hope Valley.” Just after hope valley there’s a steep jump off into “Plastic Neon Glowin 8-Pack Nonsense Abs Chasm.” No one survives the fall.

NEWS!!!

The HE Podcast site is somewhat broken and I can’t properly post the new episode. In the meantime you can download it directly HERE. UPDATE: It’s fixed and Episode 73 is HERE.

Check out these damn HE Holiday cards in the store! You need to get them now so you can receive them in time to mail them back out before the Squash Lord crawls through your heating ducts and puts meat pies in your shoes!

HE Book 2 goes up for pre-order on Monday 12/6/2010. Without a successful pre-order there will be NO BOOK. This is also your only chance to get an artist edition other than at cons.

Speaking of cons: Austin/San Antonio Fancy Bastards MUST ATTEND the Dragon’s Lair Webcomic Rampage next weekend (12/11 to 12/12/2010)

Here is a video that FB Locke Cole made for school regarding copyright using some clips from an interview that I did.

Cursed, Hexed And Vexed

I doubt it’s actually in real danger of cancellation (no I don’t), but according to sources (rumors) Marvel IS seriously trying to ruin Whedon’s Avengers by demanding a potentially impossibly low budget.

COME SEE ME AND SCARY UNCLE RANDY THIS WEEKEND
(Nov 12-14) AT AUSTIN COMIC CON IN AUSTIN, TX!

Also, there’s a new episode of the HE Podcast up now!

Commenters: What effects will budgetary cutbacks have on Avengers? Will Hulk go back to “dude in green makeup?” Will Ant man just be filmed from really far away? Will S.H.I.E.L.D.’s headquarters be in a booth in the back of a Denny’s?

Ewok Stare Shirt

It’s A Bird, It’s A Plane, It’s An Incredibly Handsome Plane

Whatever crime Josh was being accused of, I’m certain that my testimony only served to strengthen his case. I obviously proved myself a credible witness of sound mind and sound theories about who should play the next Superman [hint: It’s Jon Hamm].

Oh yeah. A little poison space potato told me THE FREAKIN’ EWOK STARE SHIRTS [based on THIS comic] are  IN THE STORE!

Ewok Stare Shirt
More info about the shirt HERE.

Speaking of shirts, the shirt I mentioned in the comic is one I designed for the Sklarbro Country Podcast and yes, Jon Hamm did actually get caught wearing one by the paparazzi. Yep. Boner times all around. If you are a sports and comedy fan I would give SBC a listen. Hell, I don’t even understand sportsballing and I really enjoy it.

Speaking of Podcasts I enjoy and Jon Hamm and Superman and whether or not Hamm is interested in being Superhamm, all of those things are addressed in THIS EPISODE of Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo feating Jon “Kal Hamm El” Hamm.