Do You Like Phil Collins?

Panel 5 is a naked, blood soaked Joel chasing Eli through a high rise with a chainsaw. I’m sure you know how it ends.

My man-crush on one Mr. Christian Bale is well documented. I mean you can’t spell Christian Bale without “Christ.” The man can do no wrong as far as I’m concerned. So what if he gets in domestic disturbances with his money grubbing family members and publicly humiliates the D.P. on the set of “Terminator 4? He was Batman. He was also Bateman. Those two roles alone get him a “get out of pretty much anything free forever” card in my book.

This particular “scandal” is rather interesting. You see, Mr. Bale is very serious about his craft. He chooses his roles very carefully and he takes them very… well, SERIOUSLY. He’s not fucking around. He got down to an emaciated 120 lbs for a movie that no one even saw. He’s dedicated to his art and he’s damn fine at what he does. “The Prestige“? C’mon! That movie was fucking amazing! Anyway, so he’s on the set of “Terminator 4” filming a scene and the D.P. is fiddling with his lights off camera… WHILE THEY’RE FILMING! That’s some amateur bullshit and BatBateBale wasn’t having any of it. He tore the guy a new asshole in front of everyone. You can almost hear him pissing himself on the recording.

The best part? Bale manages to stay in character for most of his rant. His English accent only starts to slip in towards the middle when he really lets lose on the guy. The second best part about the freak out? You can dance to it.

(No, this isn’t REALLY news. I’ve been looking for an excuse to do an American Psycho comic for a long time.)

Do you think Bale went too far? Did the D.P. deserve what he got? Let me know in the comments.

The Grieving Process

Ricardo Montalban passed away this week. I’ll never forget his portrayal as Khan Noonien Singh in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan,” or as The Joker in the 1960’s “Batman” series starring Adam West. No… wait, that was Cesar Romero.

If there is an afterlife, I hope it’s governing body has a sense of humor and allows Ricardo Montalban and Hervé Villechaize to greet all new comers with a hearty, “Welcome… to Fantasy Island.

Godspeed, you rich Corinthian leather bastard.

Quantum of Sholace

Of course I have no proof, but I assume when Sir Sean Connery the video for the new Quantum of Solace theme song, “Another Way to Die,” by Jack White and Alicia Keys he was upset to say the least. It doesn’t feature horns, sultry singing, guns pointed at the camera, blood running down the screen or girls in gogo boots. I’m sure he considered it a problem, and like any problem it can be solved one of two ways. By slapping the shit out of it or shagging it until it shuts up. He tried the former, to no avail, so he moved on to the latter. Seems to have worked like a charm.

Originally I was going to have him dig through a box of swords looking for just the right one to cleave the offending video in twain, but then I though, “NO! HE FUCKS THE TV! IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!”

I seriously have no idea what I was thinking. I do remember asking myself, “I wonder how many other cartoonists are drawing a post-techno-coitus Sean Connery right now.”

As for the song itself, I like it. It sounds like The White Stripes (imagine that) with better drumming and Alicia Keys on guest vocals. I always enjoy what Jack White tries to pass off as a guitar solo. It’s like he gets a fork tangled in his strings before he plugs in his amp, and the solo is the sound of his efforts to remove the extraneous cutlery.

A side note: in trying to write dialog in Sean Connery‘s accent I think I invented LOLCONNERY-Speak.

So what do you guys think of the song? Good song? Good bond theme? Both? Neither? What was the BEST bond theme?

Can You Dig It?

I battled a serious case of writer’s block today. I had roughed out 4 or 5 comic ideas but none of them ever gelled. Josh suggested I do a fart joke and be done with it. I didn’t want to cop out quite that hard, but as a tribute to my day of desperation and to his flatulent suggestion, I threw one in the first panel.

I’d like to think Isaac Hayes was floating around in some sort of Soulicious Chocolate Funk Heaven, the kind of place where Bootsy Collins, not St. Peter, would greet you at the pearly entrance to the Eternal Life Funkdubious Mothership Spacegasm. Alas, Mr. Hayes was a Sci-Lon. You’d think he could have warded of the brainwashing powers of the “Church of Scientolgy” with his Sex-Machine powers or his ability to “not cop out when there’s danger all about.” (I know the song isn’t about HIM but… isn’t it, though?)

At least Sci-Lon’s believe in a type of reincarnation (it litterally involves a trip to Venus to have your soul refitted with a new “meat-body”). He could already be back. If you see a 2 day old baby with a deep, soulful voice, a willingness to risk his neck for his brother man and just a little more facial hair that you would expect from an infant, that’s probably him.

Ya’ damn right.