Mr. Fish Goes To Washington

After listening to Kevin Costner testify about how he would fix the Gulf oil spill, I kind of get the impression he bought a “Magnificent Oil Machine” kit out of the back of a Boy’s Life magazine. Though I can see him, gills clogged with syrupy crude, clutching sea turtles in his webbed toes and sea-shepherding them to safety. It’s a tough life for The Mariner. He is more at home with the dolphins and giant mutated sea turtles (it turns out he wasn’t actually able to save them) than he is with humans. His only comfort is that in the ocean, no one can see you cry.

So how is it that actors go about getting face time with congress? Is there a special clip board somewhere in Washington they just have to sign up on?

Name: Costner, Kevin
Occupation: Actor, Director, Ichthyosapien, Amateur Science Enthusiast
Reason for addressing Congress: I bought a patent for a macine that eats water and oil (mixed) and craps water and oil (separated)

Even James Cameron proposed shooting arrows tipped with Unobtanium at the gushing pipeline or some such. That’s an imaginative idea. He should make movies. My challenge to you: How would a particular actor/celebrity solve the oil spill crisis? Perhaps Morgan Freeman could narrate as Tim Robbins crawled through the pipeline with a very large bag of clean clothes tied to his ankle.

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

There is also a PRINT of this design too!

Just When I Thought I Was Out…

NEW SHIRT! NEW SHIRT! THE BEST SHIRT I’VE EVER MADE!!!

SciFi SyFy Tv-Movie Title Generator Shirt

Science Fiction TV-Movie Title Generator T-Shirt @Topatoco!!!

There is also a PRINT of this design too!

I wrote this comic right after the Fringe season 2 finale last week, but it was unfortunately preempted by a couple of LOST comics. This is really a shame because part of my job is to relate to you, gentle Fancy Bastard, what I think is worthy of your geeky time, attention and monies. And though the point of deciding between the two series is rendered moot by the completion of one of them (LOST SPOILERS: Everyone dies! No really. Everyone. You, me, everyone eventually dies), Fringe is the one scifi show above all others currently in production that I can say, “IF YOU AREN’T WATCHING IT, YOU SHOULD BE!” It is by far the most satisfying science fiction on TV.Continue reading

My Award Has A First Name

WTF IS GOING ON!?!?
If you follow me on Twitter, you may know that my mom was in a really bad car accident yesterday. I ended up spending all night in the hospital and came home to get some rest about 2am this morning. I’m headed back to the hospital now. She is doing well, but she needs to have surgery for a compound fracture in her thumb. Please send positive thoughts our way and excuse the lack of comic updates this week.

I assume I will still be at Emerald City Comic Con this weekend if she is already home and recovering.

If you are in Seattle and would be interested in a reader meetup this weekend, comment below.

Upcoming Appearances!!!

Emerald City Comic-Con
March 13-14 @ The Washington State Convention Center in Seattle, WA
MORE INFOContinue reading

Brother, Can You Spare 50 Million Dimes

Don’t have a lot of time to post with… words… and….

So here’s the facts: Nic Cage owes a metric shit ton of money to the IRS and Johnny Depp stepped in to foot the bill. That’s a Hollywood bromance if there ever was one.

BIG FUN NEWS!!!
I will be a guest at the Dragon Lair Webcomics Weekend Rampage December 12-13 in Austin, TX with Jeph, Danielle, Kurtz, Randy and more! From what I know it’s just going to be a giant webcomics meat meet and greet for 2 days with extra awesome and a dash of good times.

Screen shot 2009-11-16 at 5.59.14 PM

Ever since Wil Wheaton tweeted about and bought the “Holodeck Is For Porn” shirt, they’ve been selling rather well (for the first time). Oh, you don’t know about it? Maybe you should buy one and be one of the cool kids.

The Holodeck Is For Porn Shirt

A 21 Face-Rubber Band Salute

You actually have to pull the face-rubber bands while they’re on your face to properly (and respectfully) launch them.

A lot of you are too young to remember Captain Lou Albano, but to us children of the late 70’s and early 80’s he was a pop-culture fixture. The 1980’s stood in such stark contrast to the 2000’s in that a big, fat, hairy, sweaty dude with rubber bands stuck to his face could be a pop icon. It’s not like Captain Lou has constantly been on my mind for the last 25 years, but his recent passing unlocked a flood of memories of being 8 years old and him being EVERYWHERE. He was freakin’ MARIO for Toad’s sake. The Super Mario Super Show seemed less like a scripted children’s show and more like a late night public access affair (but with a MUCH lower budget). Captain Lou portrayed what seemed to be a pre or post mushroom kingdom Mario that lived and worked as a plumber in a big city (presumably New York) with his brother-in-overalls Luigi. I lean towards “pre “because he wasn’t constantly waking from night terrors shivering and screaming about carnivorous fungi and flame belching, man-sized lizard people. In between Mario’s Earthbound hijinks, they would show Super Mario Bros. cartoons that seemed to be set in the universe of Super Mario Bros. 2. It was never clear how the cartoons and the live-action show were supposed to be related but 8 year olds typically don’t ask those sort of questions. We just watched the show, ate our Ninja Turtles cereal and occasionally did “The Mario” for hours on end.

In remembering how Captain Lou affected my childhood, I would be remiss to leave out Hulk Hogan’s Rock N’ Wrestling cartoon. Captain Lou didn’t actually voice himself in this short-lived animated ridiculousness (neither did any of the other WWF wrestlers for that matter) but I absolutely LOVED this show. The idea that all of my favorite wrestlers were driving around in giant Cadillacs and monster trucks and having adventures and doing good deeds appealed to my… gullibility.

So, rest easy Captain Lou. I don’t know if you were a great man, or even a good one but you entertained me as a child and for that I am grateful.