The Spirit Of Coincidence

Funny T-Shirts, Geeky shirts, Doctor who parody shirts, Team Edward James Olmos shirt, Groverfield Shirt, Sci-Five Star Trek Parody T-Shirt in The HijiNKS ENSUE Store

Pre-JocoCruiseCrazy Lo-Fi comics continue unabated! Or possibly unabashed! Or maybe unabridged. The closer I get to the cruise, the more useless my brain mind is go having.

Do you ever get the feeling Nic Cage’s movies are less “planned out films” and more “impromptu documentaries?” Like he has all these problems and vices and bizarre situations he get himself into and the only way to exercise the demons from his life is to capture them on film. I’m suggesting that there wasn’t even a script for The Wicker Man, but rather Cage was running around on a island one weekend punching old ladies, stealing children’s bicycles and shoveling handfuls of bees into his mouth just as some quick minded film maker happened to catch it all. A bit of second unit shooting, some creative editing and BAM! Cage movie. Why should Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance be any different? Look at Nic Cage. That is a dude that spends probably 75% of his day almost to entirely on fire. Any director would be a fool NOT to follow him around with a camera for a few days on the off chance he started stealing 50 cars, breaking into an abandoned prison or trading faces with a closeted Scientologist.

The ONLY reason I would ever consider seeing the sequel to Ghost Rider (a movie less “terrible” than it was “just plain boring”) is that it was directed by the duo behind Cranks 1 and 2. These guys seems to know what they are doing when it comes to over the top, “did I actually just see that?” action movies. They make no apologies for lack or story in or incongruity of plot and just GO GO GO GO for the insane shot, the ridiculous stunt and the gratuitous murder sex. I highly recommend listening to the interview regarding the Crank films and Ghost Rider with director Brian Taylor (pictured in the comic above) on the How Did This Get Made? podcast. It’s impossible not to like this guy after hearing him talk about his films and realizing he’s actually right there with you on the whole “that made NO SENSE AT ALL BUT IT WAS AWEOME” situation. He’s totally on your team.

COMMENTERS: Any desire to see Ghost Rider: Vengeance Protocol? How about you post your best “day in the life of Nic Cage” that accidentally got captured on camera and turned into one of his films?

FLORIDA FANCY BASTARDS: If you are headed down to MegaCon in Orlando this weekend, please stop by booth 331 and see my Blind Ferret cohorts. They will have a selection of some of my most popular shirts at the booth including “The Doctor Is In,” “George” and “Winter Is Coming.” Supporting them supports me, so I highly encourage it.

Megacon 2012

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The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

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NEW HE PODCASTEpisode 83 “Ass Merkins”

UPDATE 4/28/11: Some of you are upset that I’ve taken this position. Let me assure you that I wasn’t trying to just jump on the “hate Scott Adams” bandwagon. I read what he wrote and I thought it was in REALLY poor taste. Sure it may have been out of context or intended for a certain audience, but unfortunately he posted it on the Internet for everyone to see. And regarding the whole “sock-puppet #1 Fan” thing, I don’t think he’s a horrible creep for doing that. Just a regular creep. The mentality of “time to go do my daily defending of myself on the Internet using a different identity” is just a lame, sad activity. I feel bad for him honestly. He might actually be a happier guy if he had a smaller niche audience. Then he really could just talk to one subset of people that understood his comments towards women weren’t as misogynist as they sounded. I certainly know what it is to say something outrageous for comedic effect, knowing good and well I don’t really feel that way. But if I got called out on something like that on such a grand scale I would apologize and move on. Just my thoughts on the matter. Maybe I came off as too harsh. Maybe I’m not familiar enough with the subject matter. I am willing to concede that. I have also toned down some of the language in the post below to be more in line with how I actually feel and less outrageous. I should also point out that all I really wanted to do was use the “posting about yourself on forums” aspect of the story to make a joke about Josh doing the same thing. That’s why over 2/3 of the comic deals with that aspect and not with Adams.

Thanks,

Joel

I guess Scott Adams is kind of like the Michael Richards of cartoonists. If he could have just kept his mouth shut, he would have faded into reasonably likable obscurity. Now we have the unfortunate burden of knowing that he’s a bit of a misogynist, and egomaniac.

These days I don’t find Dilbert inspiring, or entertaining. It’s about as base as comics get (hell, it was nearly impossible to try to mimic Adams’ completely rigid and emotionless drawing style for the comic above), which doesn’t suit my tastes. When I was an adolescent I did look up to Adams, though. He was spreading nerd culture to the masses just as I was learning to take apart computers, and he was able to leave his IT career and turn his hobby (passion?) into his job. Both admirable feats, in my mind.

I even had a newfound respect for him a few years ago when I learned about him permanently losing his voice, then retraining his brain to speak as if he was singing (he had to trick his brain or else it would not let him speak). I just thought that was a cool thing to do, and a nice little story about not giving up, etc, etc. Now I have a harder time respecting the guy. Seems like he’s a little full of himself and reacts poorly when cornered (though, I may have done the same in his place. Who knows?) The safest bet would have just been to apologize and move on.

COMMENTERS: Do you care if a cartoonist is makes seemingly misogynist comments? Would it stop you from reading his comic? Would it stop you from reading mine if I acted the same way? How about a sandwich? Have you eaten? You look thin. Let me make you a sandwich.

HEY! Check out this interview I did for Hollywood Jane.

ALSO HEY! Check out this interview my friend Tom Brislin did for The Functional Nerds Podcast. He does all the music for the HE Podcast and he’s one of my favorite people.

 

From The Ashes, A Sheenix Rises

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS THIS WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy [Something*Positive], Danielle [Girls With Slingshots] and David [Shortpacked & Dumbing Of Age]! Read more about it HERE.

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!!

Ewok Stare Shirt

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND

If you preordered HE Book 2, please read the updated shipping times on THIS PAGE.

When you’re only speed is “GO,” eventually you burn out. I started writing this comic over 2 weeks ago, back when Charlie Sheen first began his one man Vatican assassination attempt of his own career, with the intention of running it before I left for Emerald City Comicon. The reason I was unable to finish it is that every time I would get done with the script, Sheen would do five more interviews and I’d have to go back to the drawing board. I wanted to somehow incapsulate the depths of his coke-fueled insanity and subsequent public breakdown in three simple panels. I soon realized this task was insurmountable and shelved the idea.

After a week passed I figured there was nothing left to say about Charlie Sheen that hadn’t already been covered elsewhere. Then I recalled a particular monolog from a prominent geek popular culture television program that seemed to sum up his entire ordeal. Those words, originally spoken with the utmost delusions of grandeur by Brother Cavil in Battlestar Galactica can be found in panels 7 and 8 above. Read them carefully and shudder at the similarities between a the grandiose ramblings of a drug addled, millionaire actor and a robot that orchestrated the destruction of humanity because of his mommy issues.  Can someone make sure Sheen doesn’t have access to our planetary defense grid? Oh, we don’t have one of those? Then we should be fine.

COMMENTERS: What other quotes from geek TV and movies would make good Sheen rants? Feel free to modify them slightly to better fit his particular dementia(though top points will go to those that fit perfectly with no alteration). “I aim to misbehave,” comes to mind.

The Captain’s Prerogative

AND MY AXE!
MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE!

And My Axe - Gimli shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE at Topatoco

Last chance for Ladies Heather Grey “And My Axe” shirts!

NEW HE Podcast in which we discuss the possibility of Nathan Fillion buying Firefly.

OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS THIS WEEKEND!!! It is by far my favorite show of the year. Come see me and Angela at booth 307. Here’s a MAP to all the other webcomics I know that will be there. I will be at the Marian Call show in Seattle Thursday night. If any Fancy Bastards are in the audience, feel free to comic up and say hi. Due to my traveling, there will an unusual comic schedule this week. Probably a guest comic and maybe a few more Lo-FiJINKS comics than normal await you.

Nathan Fillion wields a strange power over geeks. If he were to tweet the word “jump” we would probably knock the Earth off its axis. But no amounts of tweeting or jumping or wishing or clapping can bring Firelfy back from the dead. At least not the way it was. Most of the actors have moved on and many of them (including Captain Castle) into a higher pay grade. A few years ago I might have thrown my hat into the “hopeful Browncoat” ring, but the older, wise, more frequently disappointed me just wishes people would stop reopening the wound.

I suppose there is one way we could raise enough money to force Fox to give up the rights to Firefly. We could sell Charlie Sheens moon-sized balls for their weight in… sperm, I guess. It does have monitory value. At this point in his meltdown cycle, when Charlie finally bursts into actual flames from snorting cocaine and kerosene out of the barrel of a machine gun, I expect a new baby Sheen will rise from the ashes. A Sheenix, if you will. Will you? Excellent.

COMMENTERS: If the planets aligned and you could really have more Firefly (on actual TV), would you really still want it at this point? I’m sure the answer is a resounding yes (followed by a string of incoherent Chinese cursing), but I can conceive of a world where there are people that feel the show ran it’s course. In this fanciful scenario where the actors were available and affordable, as was Joss, what would you want to see? The River Tam storyline is rather resolved, so where should the weekly adventures of the crew of the Serenity go from there? Don’t take the comics into consideration when you answer this one.

Wheaton Comic Dare: Unwatchable At Any Speed

Team Edward [James Olmos] Shirts at Topatoco!

NEW HE PODCAST [episode 78] IS HERE! Hours of extra podcast are HERE for Vault Subscribers.

New Lo-FiJINKS comic posted late last night!

Driving back to Dallas from Austin today so colors and what not will be finished this evening.
UPDATE: Refresh as hard as you can to see the finished comic.

Wheaton threw down another comic dare challenge and, as always, I accepted. When will you learn not to step to these mad comicing skills, Wheaton? When? WHEEEEEAAAAATONNNNNNNN!

Having seen the trailer for Drive Angry 1: Too Driving Too Angry, I got the impression that Nic Cage escaped hell to rescue his daughter, who was the slutty blond played by Amber Heard that he was driving so very angry with. Then I got the distinct impression they wanted to have sex with each other. THEN I saw the full trailer and realized she was just some road cooz along for the ride. Whatever. This movie looks banana-tits insane.

COMMENTERS: What’s your favorite/least favorite crazy/sane Nic Cage performance and why? Also, please create subtitles for the inevitable sequels to Drive Angry: Drive Momma From The Train.

Thanks to @SpringHeeledJak for suggesting the Hindenburg kite.