Calgary Expo 2012 Fancy Photo Comic Part 1

“Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!! [based on this comic]

I am dead, Calgary. You killed me with your booze. Also with your meats. That bacon wrapped corn on the cob was NO JOKE. Neither was the pulled pork poutine, which A) Is an actual thing, B) Would either be illegal in the states or elected to public office and C) Is transcendently delicious. Seriously, Calgary, with your meats, meat sauces, oil derricks and cowboy hats I wasn’t entirely sure I had left Texas. I mean, sure, it was cold and the people were polite, unarmed and generally in good health, but a lot of it was like Texas. Ok, the hats were the main thing. Also, the con took place inside a rodeo arena. Luckily the two events were not happening simultaneously.

This Fancy Photo Comic features my friend and convention adventuring partner Angela, the Blind Ferret crew and a guest appearance by Josh Cagan who was at the con to do a panel about the 10th anniversary of Undergrads.

COMMENTERS: In your international travels, have you ever found little pockets that felt like home? A BBQ joint in Calgary might as well be a portal directly to Dallas except for the lack of US beers, and flagrant racism. Have you ever been pressured or otherwise encouraged to take part in a local custom while traveling? What?! Binge drinking is too a custom!

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our University of Gallifrey Fighting Time Lords Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts, nerdy shirts

ONLY TWO DAYS LEFT!!! The HijiNKS ENSUE Store will be shutting down for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] If there is a shirt you want, and you DON’T WANT to wait until sometime after San Diego Comicon, you should probably buy it now. This week will be your last chance for a at least a few weeks. Please check out this blog post to see which designs won’t be coming back, in case you want one of those.

CONVENTION NEWS: I will be at San Diego Comicon at the Blind Ferret Booth with Least I Could Do, Looking For Group, GuttersGirls With Slingshots and possibly more. It’s going to be a blast and a frakking half.

I can say with certainty that, while I do not share an enthusiasm for any organized sporting contest, I can understand fully why many (most) people do. There’s camaraderie, civic pride, a perceived communal goal, competition, statistics to geek out over, rivalries, drama, etc, etc. The part of “sports enthusiasm” that I can’t even begin to relate to on even the most basic level is the mentality of the vast minority of sports fans where in a particular game doesn’t result in their chosen team winning, and they decide the only way to express their disappointment is to set shit on fire, assault people and destroy public and private property. Not to mention proving to any hyper-advanced alien races who may be watching us that, yes, we are all a bunch of beastly fuck ups, and you should probably go ahead and lazer-doze our stupid planet to make way for your intergalactic throughway.

Seriously, if all it takes to devolve a random group of previous reasonable people into god damn rage monkeys is a little alcohol and some sad hockey times, then we don’t deserve nice things like societies and civilization. “MY SPORTS WAS BAD! I NEED TO HURT THINGS AND PEOPLE!” just isn’t acceptable. I know this seems odd, but this kind of behavior scares me more for the future of the human race than war. There’s something incredibly sinister and terrifying about the snap change from “I’m a regular guy, hanging out at a hockey game. I have a job, and an apartment and I’m in a long term relationship” to “I bet this car should be on fire and then things will be better. How about a brick to this guy’s head? Yeah, this is an excellent way for me to behave, and afterwards there will be no negative repercussions.” That borders on sociopathy. So does littering (I’m quite serious), but that’s a different argument all together.

Many of the riotous fuckwits were photographed and videoed by onlookers and uploaded to this tumblr. Here’s hoping they are identified and held responsible for their crimes. That reminds me of the cell phone surveillance system in The Dark Knight, except we don’t need Bruce Wayne to build it for us. We’re already doing it ourselves. The next time you plan to throw a flaming trashcan through a local business window, keep in mind that nearly everyone around you has an HD video camera in their pocket.

At least this deplorable display of inhumanity allowed an opportunity for others to step up and show some real selflessness and kindness. My friend Amy posted this on Twitter today:

I’m not from Vancouver, but I’ve gotten to know the city and its people pretty well. They’re AWESOME. Last night was an aberration. What you won’t hear about is how thousands of residents volunteered their time today to clean up the city after a few drunks got outta hand. RT @LizTheCanadian Here’s a gallery on Facebook of the volunteers cleaning up today

Commenters: What the fuck is going on? Are we just god damned savages? How are we ever going to get into The Federation like this?

Baby We Were Born To Run For The Border

Thus endith my week of comics, non-comics and comic-like entities dealing with my trip to Canada. The above comic is a 98% true account (with a +/- 2% margin of exaggeration) of my border crossing experience.


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The Canadian border official treated us like human beings, who were welcomed into his country and encouraged to spend our bland, greenish monies at their many fine establishments. He did want to make sure that we were attempting to procure gainful Canadian employment surreptitiously, but he was never anything but polite. He even laughingly commented about how there seemed to be a lot of people coming over for the comic con.

The US border agent treated us like terrorists. Worse, he treated us like our faces were dusted with cocaine, our pockets were brimming with knock-off boner pills, and our trunk was bulging with far too many severed torsos. All of his questions were accusatory, his tone was immediately angry and he was a fucking asshole. Let me remind you that we were trying to re-enter our OWN country. Next time I drive back into the US from Canada I’m just going to have my dick’n balls out. Just right on my lap. When the border agent asks me a question, I’ll point southward and politely ask that he address all inquiries to The Captain.

TCAF 2011 Fancy Photo Comic Part 2

Where as the previous photo comic dealt with the party times bookending TCAF 2011, this one details absolutely everything that happened during the actual 2 day show. All of it! Not a detail omitted. It’s like you are living it RIGHT NOW!

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I have tabled with Sam “Fuzzy” Logan twice now, and each time I seem to find new and more ingenious ways to mess with the stuff he is trying to sell to people. WAY TO GO ME! USA! USA! If you have not read Sam And Fuzzy, I suggest you fix your problem now (see what I did there?). If you need convincing, the comic is about a couple of dudes that inherit an ancient clan of ninjas and try to use them for good instead of assassination purposes. Also there is a vampire named Edwin who thinks the way to a girl’s heart is through her bedroom window while she is sleeping. Good stuff.

I can’t say much about the female Questionable Jeph cosplayer at TCAF, other than that she owes me one boner because upon seeing her, mine exploded.

Hey, look down at he bottom! It’s Angela again! If my carry-on bag was a Pokeball, she would be here in my dojo now. Alas, she has returned to Vancouver, or “Little Cold Hollywood” as the locals call it.

I hope you enjoyed the photo comics this week. I know it’s not typically what you come here for, but I enjoy making them and sharing them with you.

TCAF 2011 Fancy Photo Comic Part 1

Rather than trying to recount every single crazy awesome thing that happened at TCAF in Toronto last weekend, I will instead communicate my excitement through photo comics.

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here!

This first installment contains the pre-show party at Ryan North’s house. He is the goodest of good people. He opened his home and his fridge to countless wayward cartoonists and we are all better for it. There was actually a bathtub full of beer. I don’t know if this is standard in all Canadian homes of if he went out of his way for us. I have my suspicions.

Featured in the first half of this comic are my favorite comicing girls, Danielle and Angela. They were the first two cartoonists I’d ever hung out with at a con, and the first to make me feel like part of the team. The man stalked by the captain is Chris, and elsewhere in panel 4 are my roommate/travel companion Paul, Bernie, @realitymonster and way off in the back there’s a bit of Anthony.

The second half of the photo comic shenanigans take place at the TCAF after-party hosted by Jeffrey of Topatoco at BMB Karaoke. The pocket monster enthusiasts are Becky and Frank, along with a repete performance from Angela. Frank and I made a pact to sing as many 90’s nu-metal songs as possible that night. Despite the Papa Roach and and System Of  A Down we belted out, I managed to only get video of him singing “Gangsta’s Paradise.” Early in the night Questionable Jeph concocted a plan to bring the house down and queued up “Don’t Stop Believin” so that  it would appear almost last in the rotation. I have video of his performance but I dare not upload it for fear of imploding The Internet. I also have a video of him singing “Enter Sandman” but that’s just for me…. juuussst for meeeee. Also seen in these panels are Sam “Fuzzy” Logan and his fiance Shannon. Sam will factor more into tomorrow’s photo comic when I show you what happened during the actual show.