Every Day I’m Shoveling

The HijiNKS ENSUE PODCAST

The HE Podcast is back! Episode 84 is live! 

Grammar Dalek T-Shirts are in and shipping now!  

GenCon is right now. Hit up Blind Ferret (booth 119) and you’ll be able to pick up some of my shirts and books. You can also bother Randy.

Toronto Fan Expo is very soon!  I’ll be there with Blind Ferret. The week after that I’ll be at Dallas Animefest with Rob from Explosm.

The Fancy Sketch ends this Friday. Every Fancy Sketch and donation in the month of August goes toward helping me buy a new air conditioner for my home.

I hope you enjoy this comic as much as I enjoyed drawing that raccoon. What weird, stupid animals. Hoboes, I mean. Not raccoons. Raccoons are majestic, like antelope and those bleached cow skulls that cartoons would lead me to believe are randomly strewn about the desert. Raccoons, or “Land Piranha,” are nature’s bitning machines. They say a raccoons bite brings good luck… I mean disease. Good disease. No, that’s not right either. HORRIBLE disease. That’s it. What I’m saying is they’re great and I bet they want to be domesticated and walked around parks on leashes and to NOT eat your face off the moment you let your guard down or remove your raccoon-proof helmet cage. Protip: NEVER REMOVE YOUR RACCOON PROOF HELMET CAGE BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN THEY EAT YOUR FACE OFF. Can you tell that I’ve been awake for 2 days? I CAN’T!

COMMENTERS: Have you ever gone up against a wild animal? Were you toe to toe with a particularly nasty fainting goat? I ferret bit through the meat of my finger once. Have you every known anyone that tried to domesticate a wild animal? Did said animal eventually drag that person around by their genitals before ripping them off? No? Then I bet it wasn’t one of those diaper chimps thats always doing that sort of thing.

 

A Man, A Plan, A Hobo, Bob. Oh! Anal Panama!

Alternate Title: A Man, A Plan, A Tramp Mart. Anal! Panama! 

We now resume Eli’s previously scheduled adventure in continuity. Looks like he’s out for hobo vengeance. The kind where you seek vengeance on a hobo for his or her misdeeds. Not the kind where an actual hobo steals your shoes as retribution because you “accidentally” spilled his can’o beans.

I hope you’re liking the mini story arcs so far. I think I’m still finding my footing, but I’ve been getting a lot of nice feedback at conventions and I’m really enjoying the process. It’s more fun to write when you can expand an idea past 3 lonely panels.

Hippocrates Rising

The Fancy Sketch Drive ends on Wednesday 7/11/12! About 50/100 are already sold. Get in on this and help support me in a time of financial need while getting some sweet original art! I will draw damn near whatever you want (within reason). I finally got my home Internet working again and was able to stream some live sketching for a couple of hours. If you missed it, the video is archived HERE.

San Diego Comic-Con is this week! I will be hanging out at booth 1332 with Blind Ferret. Check my Twitter for signing times and availability. More info HERE.

Grammar Dalek Shirt from HijiNKS ENSUE

Grammar Dalek Shirts will go on presale after I get back from SDCC.

Check out this board game my daughter and I made! You can download a PDF and play it with your kids.

FINALLY! I get to go where I was going to get with this storyline. I’ve had this planned since way back when Eli got booze-sickness. We haven’t seen Boxcar Pete, the hobo who talks like a pirate for some reason, in a LOOOONG time. What did he do to Eli? Did he harvest his organs and replace them with booze sponges? Yeah, probably. That’s probably it. Actually, seems like a pretty open and shut case when you think about the sponge thing.

I once interviewed for a job at a hypnosis center. Like a “stop smoking, lose weight” type of place. I was about 20 and I had no idea what the job was, but I knew rent was due and I was desperate. The owner basically told me it was all a scam and laid out how he tricked people into feeling good about giving him a lot of money whether they met their goals or not. I was supposed to go home and memorize a script, come back and start working the scam within a week a so. As shockingly broke as I was, I managed to throw away the script and never call them again.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever interview for or even taken a job where you KNEW some shady shit was going on? What finally made you leave? Are you still there?

Undeniable Parallels

Excessive Geeking May Cause Faneurysm Shirt - Geeky T-Shirts, Nerdy Shirts, Sharksplode

Sharksplode.com - Geeky Nerdy T-Shirts, Funny Tee Shirts

I watched Waterworld this weekend… again. For like the 500th time. At this points it’s unfair to even call it a “guilty pleasure.” It’s just a pleasure. There is so much to hate about that movie, but for some reason I find the whole to be vastly greater (or at least more enjoyable) than the sum of its deeply flawed parts.  I don’t even like it in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way. Waterworld is just s shitty movie, that makes no sense, with acting that ranges from wooden to bat-anus insane that I absolutely MUST watch every time it comes on TV.

The comic above involved a very real theory I have about how Enola from Waterworld IS  the baby set adrift at the end of The Blue Lagoon. You think that movie takes place in the past. NO WAY MAN!. It’s the freakin’ future. That’s some Planet Of The Apes type science I just dropped on you. Shit, maybe that movie takes place on the other side of Waterworld. “YOU DAMN, DIRTY APES! YOU BLEW IT UP! OR MAYBE YOU SUNK IT! EITHER WAY I’M SUPER PISSED!”

COMMENTERS: Your turn to share with the group. Say your name and tell us the movie or whatever that you would like to pretend is an ironic guilty pleasure, but secretly you genuinely love it.

Ho Ho Hobo

“Now, SLASHER! now, THRASHER!
now, MURDER and SCABIES!
On, BITEY! on BLOODY! on, PLAGUEY and RABIES!
To the top of his head! to the tops of his balls!
Now bite away! scratch away! bleed away all!”

Preorder HijiNKS ENSUE Book 2!!!The art from this comic was taken from one of my holiday cards. I will be running similar filler comics for the rest of the week so I can spend the X-mas holiday times with my family and catch up on some end-of-year must-be-done-or-the-hellhounds-will-devour-my-essence type of work. I also have to work on a guest comic for… someone. You’ll see.

If you followed a stray tweet from @wilw to last year’s X-mas comic, and this is your first regular update, please feel free to check out the Archive, the Store, The Podcast and The Experiment (my thoughts on trying to making a living doing what you love in the digital age).

Also, HOLY GOD YOU GUYS IT’S TIME TO PREORDER THE SHIT OUT OF BOOK 2!!!

If you already preordered book 2 as a gift for someone else, I have provided you a handy, printable [right-click, save as] “No Really, I Got You Something” card to give to that lucky person.