Food Fighters

Han And Chewie “I Know” shirts are live at Sharksplode! 
[based on this comic]

Han And Chewbacca - I Love You / I Know, Han And Chewie Star Wars Parody Funny T-Shirt

Seattle Fancy Bastards! I am coming for you this weekend! Read more HERE

I’m approaching The Hunger Games the same way I did Harry Potter. See and enjoy the movies first THEN read the books and find out about all of the stuff that would have pissed me off about the movies. So far it’s working, because I really liked the movie. The lead character, the archery girl, has a real cunning and agility to her. An almost feline quality. A “catness,” if you will. [pause for applause] Thank you, thank you. I’ll be encasing myself in concrete now as to preserve the look on my face when I made the most perfectly crafted joke anyone has either spoken, written, read or heard aloud. Also because it will kill me, which should satisfy those of you that think I should die for that joke. I regret nothing. Except for drowning to death in concrete.

I wasn’t a complete Hunger Games virgin going in. I knew the basic premise and I had read a bit on Wikipedia to familiarize myself with some of the more fleshed out concepts of the world that would no doubt be left out of the cinematic offering for time and pacing reasons. I felt like the end result was a nice tight narrative that did a clever job of introducing you to its world while not smothering the plot. It was obvious that many characters that certainly had larger stories in the books had drastically reduced roles or were even relegated to background glimpses (further Wiki’ing confirmed this theory). You could see little threads of plot all over the place that the film wouldn’t have time to even address, much less resolve. I think that’s a good thing, because it gets casual observers like me more interested in reading the books and getting a full view of the world building within.

MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD: Regarding Mr. Kravitz portrayal of Cinna the stylist, there were some fucked up allusions going on with his wardrobe creations. The clothing was supposed to represent the district the tributes hailed from. District 12 is a coal mining area, where both Katniss and Peeta’s father’s were killed in a mine explosion, so Cinna dresses them in coal black clothing and SETS IT ON FIRE!? I’d say that isn’t appropriate or sensitive in the least, but these kids are being lead to their deaths in a child murder contest for the amusement of the home viewing audience, so what do I know? I was surprised at the amount of actual child murder that they showed. I was really expecting them to pull a few more punches and gaping blade wounds. The opening “scramble for supplies” scene was actually pretty disturbing to watch. Right about then the concept of children killing each other sinks in, followed by the concept that it is essentially for entertainment (as well as propaganda, control through fear and intimidation, etc). Back to the coal fire: did anyone else get the impression that Cinna drew inspiration from Centralia, the Pennsylvania town that’s been on fire for 50 years (or 150 by his time)? Maybe district 12 isn’t far from there.

My only real gripe with the movie (knowing a bit more than the average person about the book’s plot, but not nearly enough to get all that upset), the idea that hunger was a central theme of the story just didn’t come through at all. I never got the impression that anyone was starving. Poor? Sure. Starving? Not really. These kids are pretty and plump and muscular and heathly. When presented with multiple feasts, at no point does anyone gorge themselves like a person that has been living off of rations would. I get that they are terrified and tramatized, but the word “HUNGER” is in the freaking title of the movie. It seems like one of the most important themes of the book was just kind of swept under the rug. Also, the movie basically says that Katniss is faking her love for Peeta to garner favor with the audience, but gives the impression that by the end she is actually in love with him. This seemed odd, so I looked it up and, yup, she’s a faker and she totally and in cold blood breaks his heart at the end of the book. I guess they want us to be more sympathetic to her, but honestly in the situation she was in survival is the only thing that mattered. Also, just to clarify, the three finger salute means “Hey The Capitol! Read between the lines jackwads!” right?

COMMENTERS: Did you see The Hunger Games? What did you think? Were you a fan of the books already? PLEASE MARK ALL COMMENTS WITH SPOILERS AS SUCH. 

CHECK IT OUT: My daughter drew another Tiny Titan and it’s up on my Tumblr.

The Final Problem

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you.

Gallifrey University Fighting Time Lords Shirt - Doctor Who parody, geeky tees, funny t-shirts,  nerdy shirts

@sizemore twatted a tweet so good I had to ask for permission to make it into a comic. Luckily he obliged, and thus you have the only ending to House that I will ever accept.

Before the pedanti-squad gets their pedanties all knotted up, I do know that once during season four of House “it” was, in fact, Lupus. I’m actually quite glad House is ending. It’s really the only formula driven, procedural show I’ve ever appreciated. I think the blame for that appreciation falls squarely on Hugh Laurie. He has remained consistently captivating for eight years. Even when the plot was faltering, the sidekicks were boring or the case was too fantastic to get emotionally invested in HE was the grizzled glue that held it all together. Despite my stubbley crush on the pill popping, leg limping wonder doc, I firmly believe the writers and producers of House have taken that character absolutely everywhere he could possible go. He has gone through various stages of addiction, recovery, self-destruction, and re-recovery more than a few times. He’s taken the same physical and emotional journey through the peaks and valleys of self loathing and self discovery over and over and to have him continue to circle around the depths of the human condition for 1 or 2 more years would be abusive to the character and the audience.

In all honesty, the show could have ended after season 4 and I probably would have been fine. They might have even checked out with a little more integrity at that point. The subsequent seasons have veered into territory so implausible that the ideas might as well have been borrowed from rejected Nip/Tuck scripts. Still, they somehow managed to real in the crazy and keep things interesting without resorting to too much sensationalism.

The problem with House is that it has always asked the audience to suspend disbelief in order to allow for a character that in any sane world would have long since died by his own actions or those of someone who has spent any length of time in his company, or at the very least been completely abandoned by anyone and everyone he had ever worked with or known personally. The show has explored each of these ideas multiple times, but the consequences never seem to stick. No matter how smart he is, no matter how many lives he’s saved, House would have been fired from PPTH in the first season and had his medical license permanently revoked. It gets harder and harder to ignore this fact as the show goes on since he starts committing felony after felony and goes essentially unpunished. Even after he basically attempts to murder his girlfriend/boss and her entire family he gets a truncated prison sentence, a slap on the wrist AND his old job back. I think the writers found it harder and harder to reset the show back to its basic premise after each consecutive escalation of insanity. If it were to continue any longer, house would have to assassinate the president with a tank, then somehow be elected president himself.

OK, I would totally watch that show.

COMMENTERS: What show that you enjoyed just went on at least a season too long? When should it have ended? I bet more than a few of you are going to say Supernatural season 5. For me it was Heroes, after season 1 and Nip/Tuck after season 2. I would also have accepted a straight up cancellation of LOST after season 3, since none of the unanswered questions up until that point were EVER answered in the remaining 3 seasons.

ALSO: Check out what I made for Josh’s 30th birthday. 

You can now purchase a super high quality 11×17″ print of any HE comic by clicking the “Buy A Print” button between the “Previous” and “Next” buttons in the navigation menu. If you don’t see it, try refreshing your browser cache.

Get HijiNKS ENSUE Comic Prints!

Winter Is Coming

UPDATE: “Winter Is Coming” shirts are now IN THE STORE!!!

I’ve been tossing this Calvin and Hobbes meets Game of Thrones idea around for a while. Originally it was going to be Calvin/Jon Snow and Hobbes/Sam standing atop the wall mirroring the dialog from the final Calvin And Hobbes strip, ending with “Let’s Go Exploring.” As I was doing research for reference images I came across the cover to the Attack… collection and realized it was basically already a scene out of GoT, complete with a White Walker and everything. So there you go. I hope you enjoy it.

Joel Watson of HijiNKS ENSUE at Baltimore Comicon 2011

Baltimore Comic-Con is this weekend! I will be in the Artist Alley right next to Dannielle Corsetto at Table #A187 or so. I will have books 1 and 2, “The Doctor Is In” shirts, “Team Edward [James Olmos]” shirts and “Ewok Stare” shirts, plus prints, stickers and Fancy Sketches.

We have had a really fantastic Fancy Bastard meetup each year. Details HERE on G+ or talk to FB Adam (who is organizing it) directly on G+ or Twitter. Hope to see you at the show and the meetup!

Commenters: Please come up with your own Game Of Thrones/ Sunday Comics crossover and let us know how it plays out. I’ll get you started: The Family Circus as the Lannisters. Jeffy = Joffrey? Right? Amirite?

UPDATE: You asked for it, so I added a “Winter Is Coming” desktop to The Vault. I’ve also added “Chibi Wolverine” and “Three Wheaton Moon” desktops as well. Just make a donation of any amount, or sign up for a recurring donation subscriptionand you’ll get access. I’ve also added mobile versions of these desktops HERE.


Got GoT?

Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made a thing! Check out our Wesley’s Big Adventure Shirt over at Sharksplode.

Funny Geeky T-Shirt Star Trek Parody shirt - Wesleys Big Adventure T-Shirt-Wil Wheaton-Wesley Crusher-Sharksplode-I'm A Loner Data A Rebel

My Friend Lar saw this shirt and drew THIS. It’s amazingly wonderful.

Anybody hear about this Game Of Thrones show? No? I guess it sort of flew under the radar, because people haven’t been talking about it on the Internet non-stop for months and months or anything.

I had been purposefully ignoring the glowing reviews of Game Of Thrones because I didn’t have HBO and I didn’t want to bother trying to acquire the show through other means. As I get older I look at every Torrent and ask myself, “Is this hour of entertainment going to be the one that costs me a $35,000 settlement?” I am old.

When I noticed an HBO free preview weekend on my HD Fiber TVmawhosits I hoped I might luck into a GoT marathon that I could record for later viewing at my leisure. Alas, there was no such marathon, but the entire series was available via On Demand. I had a very important decision to make. The free preview only lasted another 26 hours, and there were 10 one hour episodes to devour. In order to consume a media-meal this large I would have to forsake all other responsibilities. Sleep, work, my family, all liabilities that were keeping me from being caught up on the new thing all the Internet kids are Internetting about. “Eff it! I’m going for it!” And for it go I did… go.

I was surprised how little the show resembled Lord Of the Rings in tone. LoTR is very grand. The scope of the story, the settings and the characters are equally vast. GoT is almost the opposite. Instead of an epic struggle against ultimate evil for the fate of the world, GoT focusses on about 40 characters internal struggle to “get theirs.” The story masquerades as grand because there are kings and castles and knights and wars and talk of dragons, but it is actually very small and very human. It’s a tale of selfishness and petty jealously. The only great evil resides in the schemes and machinations of nearly every characters in the show. They’re all just terrible people (except for most of the Starks).

One thing I find confusing about the series (and the books too, I suppose) is the fact that [SPOILERS] nearly everyone dies. Like everyone. Just as you are saying to yourself, ” Oh man, if that guy gets to do the thing he wants to do, it’s totally going to fuck up the things those other guys want to do,” he dies. Then the other guys die. Major plot threads just build and fizzle due to character death. I understand this is Martin’s thing and all, but it’s… jarring? [/SPOILERS] Regardless I really enjoyed the series and look forward to season two. I might even sign up for HBO for a few months just to watch it in real time. Though I admit, seeing 5 eps back to back was SO much more satisfying than waiting week to week. Also, Peter Dinklage fucking rules.

Anyway, here are some GoT greeting cards slogans I made up on Twitter:

“You put the IMP in PIMP.”

“Congrats Graduate! Once you take The Black, you never go back… to having sex.”

“Happy Fathuncle’s Day!”

“You’re Hodorable!”

STORE NEWS: The HijiNKS ENSUE Store is closed for a few weeks so I can make some big, exciting changes. [READ MORE HERE] In the meantime you can still get shirts from Sharksplode and HE Book 2 from this very site.

MUSIC!: My friend Tom Brislin has started a Kickstarter to raise money to record his first solo album. Fans of the HE Podcast will know his music from… the HE Podcast. Tom is a fantastic song writer, a virtuoso piano player and one of my favorite creative people on the planet. Please back his project so that I may hear the wonderful musics that are currently stuck in his brain.

COMMENTERS: Feel free to post your SPOILER FREE thoughts on Game Of Thrones or make up your own G0T greeting card slogans.

The Boy Who Landscaped

The Doctor Is In T-Shirt

“The Doctor Is In” shirt based off the “You’re The Last of The Time Lords, Charlie Brown” comic is here! - Geeky Nerdy T-Shirts, Funny Tee Shirts

Alternate Title: Peaches and Herbology

Then, right as Neville lifts the Sword of Gryffindor above his head, his parents appear to him in an apparition and say, “Neville, it is ussssss. Yourrrr craaaazzzzzy parennnnts. We might be insaaaaaane from toture and locked away in St. Mungoooos, but even we knooooooowwww you aren’t good enough to defeat… well, anythinnnnnng. Put down that sword and look for a nice place to curl up in a ballll and diiiieeeeee. Let Harry and Hermione take care of the harrrrrrd stuuuuuuuff. Also, why are we talking like ghooooossssts? We’re perfectly aliiiiive, if not totally insaaaaaane.”

COMMENTERS: How excited are you for Deathly Hallows Pt. II? Oh, you aren’t excited? You don’t like Harry Potter? Or you like the books, but not the movies? You should probably go away so we can have our fun.

A NEW THING!!! I have launched It is NOT a replacement for The HijiNKS ENSUE Store. It IS a place that I can put up my more niche, inside, “maybe not for everyone, but definitely for super geeks like us” shirt ideas.

HEY! Check out this interview I did for Hollywood Jane.