Denver Comic Con 2014 Fancy Sketches

Dearest Fancy Bastards, if you enjoy this comic, please check out my store, my shirts on Sharksplode, and my wife’s geeky jewelry on Etsy. It would help us out a great deal.

Thanks for coming out to see me in Denver last weekend (even though you were actually there to see Cyanide & Happiness). Here are some of the hundreds of sketches we drew for various enthusiastic Denverites. These are probably THE ONLY sketches from the entire weekend that didn’t involve graphic nudity, intense and disturbing sexual imagery, horrific violence and just a ton of boners and ass blood. It was that kind of weekend.

Fancy Patrons: We are less than $50 away from unlocking more comics per week!


Momoa Justice, Momoa Problems

Dearest Fancy Bastards, if you enjoy this comic, please check out my store, my shirts on Sharksplode, and my wife’s geeky jewelry on Etsy. It would help us out a great deal.

Based on the casting of Jason “PecsPecsPecsPecs” Momoa, I am guessing DC is going for a less kind, less gentle Aquaman. No better way to shut up the Aqua-haters than to show us a badass Aquaman, I suppose. Of course the confirmation of Aquaman’s addition to Batman V. Superman: The Case Of The Crumpled Cape means the movie (which is NOT a Justice League movie?) will feature Supes, Batman, Wonder Woman, Cyborg AND Aquaman. I’m guessing everyone except for B-Word and S-Hole show up right at the end, wink at the camera and fly straight into the sun. Seriously though, I am not 100% on board with this group-movie before solo movie Justice League situation. It seems super-flawed from a superhero super-storytelling perspective. I’m curious how they are going to integrate an older, grizzled Batman into a world that seemed to be totally flabbergasted by the appearance of Superman in Man Of Steel: Metropolis Gets 9/11’d X 100.

Fancy Patrons: We are less than $50 away from unlocking more comics per week!

I also just uploaded a new iBook/PDF comic collection for all $5+ Patrons. 



HijiNKS ENSUE: I Could Really Go For A Martwinky Right About Now
(An iBook Collection Of HijiNKS ENSUE Comics from 2009)
EXTRAS: Contains an intro I wrote while on an airplane and while insane with sleep deprivation. I can not promise you that it makes sense at all. Also contains a whole section of freelance projects (many never before seen) that were commissioned by you, the Fancy Bastards.


Emerald City Comicon 2014 Fancy Sketches

Oh sweet merciful crapbastards, Seattle, you are always so good to me. I am on an airplane (the kind in the sky) right now, so please enjoy these convention sketches in lieu of a comic update today. I had an amazing time with my wonderful friends and was, once again, showered with generosity from the Pacific Northwest Fancy Bastards.

If you would like to see some of what I was up to this weekend, please check my twitter feed for #ECCC and #ECCC2014.

See you next year, Emerald City!

Oh, and I ran out of most of my prints early on Sunday. If you weren’t able to get the HE print you wanted at the show, you can always get prints and posters in The HE Store


All Apologies


The big giant mega blowout HE Store sale is over, and we are putting the final touches on the new HE store which will soon (like probably October 1st) live HERE.

UPDATE ON THE FANCY DIGITAL SKETCH DRIVE: If you are still waiting on your Fancy Digital Sketch, I am SUPER BACKLOGGED on these. I am very sorry it’s taking so long. Doing 50+ original pieces of finished art always sounds easy, until you agree to do it and take money for it. I am working through them, but if you need yours urgently, feel free to let me know via email.

COMMENTERS: You get what Denise is saying, right? I mean, you GET IT, right… man? What’s the best/most confusion drunksplanation you’ve ever gotten/given? Since they are basically the same, what’s the best childsplanation (a kid trying to explain something complicated to you, giving little to no context or discernible facts) you’ve ever received?

When my daughter was 4 she had a playdate with a friend and they watched a movie. She tried to tell us what the movie was in the car on the way home. There was a man who was dead, but not all the time. And a girl who didn’t know she was really a princes and the bad man did a spell. It went on like that for 20 minutes before I realized the man who was not always dead was Rasputin and the movie was Anastasia.


This is my wife’s birthday week! Celebrate it by buying yourself a present from her Etsy store “Science and Fiction.” Check out her her latest geeky creation, a Pacman inspired necklace!

Pacman Necklace on Etsy


Comments (14)

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This became evident when we realized everything she was saying was totally accurate.
Kudos on extending the Nirvan-y goodness another comics’ worth with the title!
Adrian's avatar

Adrian · 90 weeks ago

My wife was a little loopy, but decided that would be better than being in super panic attack mode, and she sat down we me and a bunch of friends to watch Teeth. That one movie where the lady has shark teeth, y’know, down there. Well there is a scene where she dives into a lake with a guy friend and my wife innocently asks, “I wonder if her teeth are chattering.” I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.
seriously's avatar

seriously · 90 weeks ago

One time I was expecting an important phone call and had to leave the house for a few minutes. I figured they’d leave a message on my machine and that would be that.

Turns out in the fifteen minutes I was gone my sister-in-law dropped by with my 5 year old nephew to visit. And the expected phone call happened. My nephew answered the phone before she could stop him and he fervently promised whoever was on the other end he’d give me the message.

Yeah, turns out five year olds can’t take phone messages for shit.

His version of what was said basically boiled down to: “The man said to see the lady Monday, at um….I forget. But to call him back at exception um…seven hundred something. And I think his name was Lou.”

Luckily I was able to get a hold of “Lou”, whose real name was Albert, the appointment was for a Wednesday, the extension was 435, and he’d never said anything about a lady in the phone call at all.

Zee's avatar

Zee · 90 weeks ago

I remember babysitting a five year old, and her three year old sister. The five year old went to the bathroom, and after a while, I thought she’d been gone for too long. I knocked, and she opened the door, and there was a giant puddle all over the tile. It had appeared that she filled a shoebox with water (and a rubber duckie), and then put it on the floor, where it proceeded to leak everywhere. I asked her why she had ton this, and she said that she had “accidentally, but on purpose” put the water on the floor. We went through several different variations on this, but it was always “accidentally on purpose”.

After about the third or fourth iteration, I realized that this was a child’s way of saying, “Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time…” laughed, and got a mop.

1 reply · active 90 weeks ago

zee's avatar

zee · 90 weeks ago

why she had “done” this
Kevin's avatar

Kevin · 89 weeks ago

A lot of the actual conversation is lost to me, as it was me trying to explain.. I was visiting a friend and we were drinking quite a bit when I got out a bag of cookies I had brought (ziploc baggie with about 10 cookies in it?) I had a bit too much to drink, and blacked out and thought it had only been about 10 seconds when it had been about 5 minutes. All but 2 of the cookies were gone. At this point I called my female friend a fatass and got angry she had eaten all my cookies.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

Kevin's avatar

Kevin · 89 weeks ago

(second part got cut off.)
I then spent quite a while trying to drunkenly convince her that there had been about 30 cookies in this single small bag.

Apologies were made the following morning ..

lou's avatar

lou · 89 weeks ago

I think I’m better at explaining things when I’m drunk, because I’m just more talkative than when I’m sober, and as I hear myself, more witty and charming. I have dubbed this “The Bond Effect”.

1 reply · active 89 weeks ago

I feel the same way. I’m extremely talkative as it is, and Im VERY comfortable speaking in front of large groups of people, but after a few drinks I am just ON. I find the part of my brain that can do quick joke calculations and rapid fire comebacks, and joke tags performs at peak efficiency when slightly lubricated. Then a few more drinks and I just get reeeeeeallly quiet.

Take With A Grain Of Kryptonite

OH COME ON! That’s no fun! I thought Walter White would have made a great Lex Luthor. Can he at least be Darkseid? He could cook up the Anti-Life Equation in an old RV in Space. Hell, New Mexico is practically Apokolips already. Just open fire pits and lava geysers everywhere.


I will be participating in this Bumbershoot panel series this weekend!

My bit is:
Sat 31 Aug 2pm
Seattle, WA
The Leo K Theater
155 Mercer Street Seattle WA 98109
2nd and Mercer in the Seattle Center
[Ticket Info here]

Have you seen my wife’s latest geeky jewelry creation? MOTHER EFFING LIGHTSABER NECKLACES AND EARRINGS! 

lightsaber necklace and earrings

COMMENTERS: Who would you like to see play Lex Luthor? Alternately, make up some more headlines from this “reputable movie news” site.

Comments (15)

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I believe you’ve got that backwards
He actually did play Gordon in the Batman: Year One animated movie.
Liam's avatar

Liam · 94 weeks ago

I would like to see John Malkovich as Lex Luthor.
Richter's avatar

Richter · 94 weeks ago

Ving Rhames as Lex Luthor!
Bruceski's avatar

Bruceski · 94 weeks ago

Kevin Spacey again. Forever.
Wait for it…


Lex Luthor is Jesus, bitch.

Liam's avatar

Liam · 93 weeks ago

Nicolas Cage
Im happy to be your filter.
Galley Slave's avatar

Galley Slave · 93 weeks ago

Michael Madsen
Dave's avatar

Dave · 92 weeks ago

Quentin Tarantino as Lex Luthor
Nechie's avatar

Nechie · 92 weeks ago

Bieber as Robin O.o