2 Pad 2 Furious

EWOK STAAAAAARRREEEEEE!!!

Ewok Stare Shirt

C2E2 IN CHICAGO IS NEXT WEEKEND!!! I will be there with Randy, Danielle and David!

THERE IS A NEW HE PODCAST!!! EPISODE 81 – DICK ISLAND

Josh IRL picked up an iPad 2 today and he’s already looking for ways to not just dispose of, but humiliate its predecessor. I feel like if there were a way to pants an iPAd in front of the girl it liked, Josh would do just that.

Commenters: What can Josh do with his old iPad? Fold it in half and use it as a stand for his iPad 2? Cram it under his tires for traction when he gets stuck in the mud? World’s tiniest and most expensive toboggan? YOU DECIDE!

The Cuptertino Diet

MEEEEDLY MEEEEEDLY SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
ALL NEW REDESIGNED “AND MY AXE” SHIRTS ARE IN THE STORE!

And My Axe - Gimli shirt by HijiNKS ENSUE at Topatoco

NEW HE Podcast Episode 80: Medium Seabiscuit [or is it Sexbiscuit?]

HijiNKS ENSUE at Emerald City Comicon

OMG EMERALD CITY COMICON IS RIGHT NOW [starting Friday]!!! Come see me and Angela at booth 307.

CONVENTION UPDATE: I will be at The Toronto Comics And Arts Festival May 7-8 after all, and I will also be at Connecticon July 9-11.

BOOK UPDATE: The giant, frost bitten pallet of HE Book 2‘s arrived at my house on Wednesday. I’ll start shipping books when I get back from ECCC. Non-artist edition books will ship first, followed by non-artist UFE’s (still waiting on some of the goodies like stickers and buttons to arrive), followed by all artist editions. I have at least 200 books to sketch, so please be forgiving when it comes to delivery times.

Ok, don’t look at me like that. Josh came up with this and I just wanted to make sure you all knew what a monster he was. Now that you know… what he is… just don’t look him directly in the eyes if you ever meet him. Because I assure you, the thing looking back will chill you to the core. It’s like staring into the soulless eyes of a shark with cataracts. Or maybe a raccoon. Either way it’s some sobering shit. The temperature in the room will drop 10 degrees, then it will rise because you just peed yourself. He’s a monster. A monster.

COMMENTERS: So hows about that spanky new iPad 2, eh? That mobile Garageband is giving me dangerous thoughts. One might even say IDEAS. Ooooohhhhh…. ideeeeeaaaaaasssss….

The Morning Paper

LAST CHANCE FOR “KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY OVIPOSITOR SHIRTS”!!!
They are only $15! They will never be printed again, so get ’em while you can.

Here! Have an unfinished comic. UPDATE: I replaced the comic with the final inked and colored version, but if you still want to see the rough version it’s in a free post in The Vault.

Getting the book done (as in 100% done, no more changes done) has eaten my entire life away this week. In fact I am still not fully through with my part (as I assumed I was last night). I have the proofs in hand and there are some problems to address. Combine all of that with the SNOHSHITWEREALLGOINGTODIE situation going on in Dallas right now, and this week has been rather unproductive in terms of comics. I am going to try to fill in the missing comic gaps for this week with a few Lo-FiJINKS comics and get back on the horse (is that a real expression?) come Monday.

If you would like Josh to have an expletive exclamation of some kind in panel 3, feel free to post it in the comments. If I like one, I may use it in the finished (inked/colored) version. In case it isn’t clear, his breakfast consists of Vodka, fountain Big Red w/ a slice of bacon, and pancake syrup.

Apple and Newscorp are putting the final nail in the coffin of the concept of printed newspapers by releasing The Daily, an all digital newspaper for the iPad. I love this idea. I love it so much I LURV it. I never understood why big media always seemed to argue that the death of newspaper (ie newsPRINT) and the death of journalism were one in the same. I always heard the argument of, “if no one is actually reporting and writing the news, where will the bloggers get their information from?” This always seemed like a symptom of the problem. That being big media not understanding its own role in digital culture. Yes, we still need people to research, write and distribute the news in a professional and organized way. And we still need resources we can trust more than the average Livejournal. What we don’t need is someone in a ’74 El Camino throwing a bundle of paper at our door at 5am. Keep making the news, just stop printing it.

Speaking of old media and things that need to die, some motherfucker had the audacity to put a phonebook on my doorstep a few days ago. Can you believe that shit? I ran for my crossbow with the intent of putting a bolt betwixt his ribs, but he ran off before I got a clear bead on him. I just left it there. I don’t even want to touch it. It’s just this giant, 4″ thick bound reminder of wasted resources, and living in the past. I would be shocked if the power required to send everyone in America a digital phonebook equalled the cost of actually producing a single phonebook. Bluh. The whole situation just makes me sick. I feel like an idiot for putting them in the recycle bin the same day that I get them. What a waste.

Anyway, feel free to comment on The Daily or you take on the “death of newspapers” from any particular angle in the comments.

Special thanks to Joenis for making some changes to the site design of HE that should make it easier to navigate. Check out his comic, LAWLS.

We’re Calling This One Busted

DALLAS AREA FANCY BASTARDS: Come see me at Star Trek Fan Days this weekend (October 23rd – 24th) in Plano, TX. Riker, Data, Worf, Doc Brown, Draco Malfoy, and Captain Kirk will be there! More info HERE.

Give Me the Coffee You Fairy Godmother

Flip You Melon Farmer! The “Edited For Content” mug on up for sale NOW!

The Laser Defense Grid App (released by ZingoZany Mobile, a division of The NSA) requires at least an iPhone 3Gs running OS 4.1 and is available in The App Store now. Download it or we’re all going to die.

I know the cover story is that Obama met with the Mythbusters as part of the Whitehouse Science Fair and to film a segment for an upcoming Mythbusters episode, but you know somewhere in the Oval Office desk is a tattered piece of legal paper that says:

Barry’s List Of Things to Do Before I Die

  1. Be a lawyer [X]
  2. Get smoking hot wife [X]
  3. Illinois Senator or at least owner of the White Sox [X]
  4. Get elected first black President of USA [X]
  5. [added 3/16/2005] Become honorary Mythbuster/ press button to blow up a limo or something [X]
  6. [added 4/28/2010] Become friends with Lady Gaga [  ]

As for why he met with Steve Jobs I can only assume that there is actually an extinction level event around the corner and Obama wants to get that Verizon iPhone 4 before he takes his place in one of the arks high in the Himalayas that will safely allow 100,000 of our smartest and wealthiest humans to ride out the apocalypse. He might even get Jonathan Ive to design a stylish, brush aluminum test tube to store giraffe DNA.

Therefart iAm

HijiNKS ENSUE Vol 1 Godspeed You Fancy Bastard @ Topatoco

The only I reason I can think of for Apple looking to Phillip Shoemaker, the creator of such apps as “Animal Farts” and the e-urine v-simulatrum “iWiz“, for a leadership position in the App Store is that Steve Jobs has realized his own mortality (being that Apple could easily bring about The Singularity but has chosen to delay the product cycle to better fit with projected Q3 2012 earnings estimates) and is dead set on driving his company into the iFarting ground on his way out.

Just as Willy Wonka sent out his golden tickets to find a suitable heir to his chocolate empire, Jobs created The App Store with the soul purpose of finding the fart-obsessed piss-app monger who could make sure Apple legacy for quality and style would die with him.

HOLY SHIT THIS WEEKEND IS BALTIMORE COMIC CON!!!

Baltimore Comic Con

I will be in the Artist Alley at table A164 with Fancy Bastard Alex (Mechamenchi) at my side. Baltimore was the first show I ever exhibited at and my first taste of seeing experiencing the kindness, generosity and sense of community of you, The Fancy Bastards, in person. One of the biggest highlights of the show was the FB meetup. I would really like to do another Baltimore FB meetup Saturday night August 28th around 7:30 or 8pm. Last year we did it at Hooters because they had a nice deck and could accomidate a good-sized group, but I am open to suggestions for a different meeting place. Please comment below of you think you will be able to make it (and understand that I will be heartbroken if this doesn’t happen since I have been looking forward to it all year).