Of Tooth And Claw. Of Blood And Stone.

Strange things happen to me when I travel. I basically suspend the need for regular sleep and go into a sort of survival mode fueled by adrenaline, alcohol and copious amounts of meat. I become a creature not of reason, but of instinct. I become… a BLOODWOLF! Also sometimes I am chased by them through airports. I am alternately one OF them or tormented BY them. It depends on how long my flight is delayed or when the last time I had any coffee was. Anyway, the underlying condition that brings on the Bloodwolves is called Plane Madness, and I promise that you do not wish it on your worst enemy (my worst enemies are the rival pack to the north known as Cave Wolf Clan).

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!!

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Plane Madness, scientists believe, stems from the unbelievable amount of horseshit you have to deal with in modern day air travel. Pat downs, porno scanners, oversold flights, lost checked bags, lost CARRY ON bags (seriously this happened to me once), missed connections, confusing terminals, other passengers, people in general… it’s all just maddening. Since I am traveling A LOT these days in order to peddle my wares and sundries at various comic’ed book type conventions, I am subject to the throws of Plane Madness more often than the average Bloodwolf human person.

The incredibly odd thing about my condition, and you may know this if you follow me on Twitter, is that in order to keep my tenuous grip on reality during the onset of Plane Madness I have to immerse myself in fictional scenarios that are somehow less terrible than the chaos that is actually happening all around me. Obviously a pack of blood-hungry wolves terrorizing the terminal is preferable to the realities of air travel, so The Bloodwolves were born.

I feel like I’ve over-explained this concept in a big, confusing mobius strip now, but I am still recovering from C2E2 in Chicago last weekend and my brain is not yet fully de-wolfed and re-brained yet. I had a lot of fun at the con. Thanks to all that came out and said hi, got a sketch or bought a thing. The guys from Explosm and I wrote a musical at a few different bars over the course of the weekend. Who knows if we’ll remember it all and actually write it down before the Bloodwolves devour our memories with their bone-magics in order to conceal their existence. Oh, you didn’t know they did that? Of course you didn’t. That’s how you know it worked.

COMMENTERS: Have you ever suffered from Plane Madness? What about Road Trip Tripping or Train Dementia? What about just general Travel Insanity? Only in sharing your experiences can you begin to understand the Bloodwolves’ plan for you.

I wrote this comic on my iPhone at 30,000 feet, and subsequently drew it on my iPad using Paper by 53 and an Adonit Jot Pro stylus. I pieced it together and added text in Photoshop when I got home. Other than that, I have no explanation for what the hell it’s all about. The Bloodwolves were guiding my hand.

The Great Iron Bird And The Blood Moon

“George Hurt You” shirts are in the store!!!

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Sometimes air travel can be stressful. Like, what is the deal with airline peanuts? And what about that pack of Bloodwolves that always chases you through the airport trying to get you to fight for your place of honor within their pack and claim your wolfbride? And why is there so little legroom? These are the questions be need to be asking.

Having missed my flight home from Emerald City Comicon, I was forced to stay an extra day in Seattle and thus, no regular comic update for today. My bad fortune ended up being David’s good fortune since his plane didn’t leave until 11pm Monday night. We were able to celebrate his birthday in style (and cuddle) and rejoice in the fact that his recent suicide attempt had failed.

My flight back to DFW was at 6am Tuesday morning, a time which I did not appreciate until later when I learned that Dallas and its surrounding suburbs were being destroyed by TORNADOGEDDON 2012 and all flights in or out of DFW would soon be grounded. We got plenty of rain, but no damage to our home or our frail human bodies.

I would like to reiterate that ECCC is THE BEST comic convention in North America. The Fancy Bastards I encountered in Seattle went above and beyond to make me feel welcomed and appreciated. And the cookies… oh sweet baby crocodile-faced Jesus monster clone, there were so many cookies. Also booze. There were so many tiny bottles of booze. We… did things with candy and booze… bad things. Also I danced with a meta-shirt-wearing-Ewok.

I bet there will be a fancy sketch comic tomorrow.

COMMENTERS: Hit me with your saddest airplane/airline related stories, or perhaps your greatest flying triumphs.

At Five Mile High Mall

Dallas Anime Fest

Dallas Animefest is this Weekend! Come see me, Shortpacked and Two Lumps (plus a bunch of cat-girls and such) all Labor Day Weekend. We will be doing a Webcomic’s panel every day.

It’s Fri Sept 3rd – Mon Sept 6th, 2010 at the Hyatt Regency Dallas at Reunion Tower.

Sky Mall is essentially “The Magazine of Requirement” in that nothing in it exists until you are fooled into thinking you need it. I wouldn’t have even been traveling to Baltimore by way of Muggle-plane if the Floo Network hadn’t been down for maintenance. I honestly don’t know how you people put up with it.

Very special thanks to too the FB’s who came out to Baltimore ComicCon. Especially Alex who was my assistant and roommate for the weekend and Adam who gave me a ride to and from the airport. We had another fantastic FB meetup at The Hooter’s in The Inner Harbor. Try as we might to find an alternate location it was as if fate was pulling us towards greasy wings and orange shorts (those being OUR shorts after wiping wing sauce on them). Somehow we forgot to take a group pic this year, so please post links to pics in the comments if you have them.

You guys have no idea how grateful I am to be able to show up in an unfamiliar city and have friendly faces waiting for me there to share laughs and food and to create new, wonderful memories. Thank you all.

Oh… And watch this.