2 Upcoming Appearances!!!
Staple!
March 6 @ The Monarch Event Center in Austin, TX
MORE INFO

Emerald City Comic-Con
March 13-14 @ The Washington State Convention Center in Seattle, WA
MORE INFO

What’s wrong with telling the suspicious link clicking, password giving, attachment downloading, bad-computing masses that a website can fix their slow computer? Well, correct me if I’m wrong, but one would assume the only way an external site could scan your files and your registry would be to give that site root access to your machine. So are they are offering malicious spyware to remove spyware?

What’s funny, is the problem these ads illustrate is a very real one. Anyone who has taken a tech support call from Mom or Dad knows that a parental computer typically starts our pristine but by day two has already begun collecting multiple viri, adware, malware, hoseware, cockware and certain types of rare Amazon River urethra parasites. The idea that computers “just slow down over time” is well accepted and corroborated by your parents’ friends, coworkers and all of your other relatives. The only engine really driving the home PC industry is that most machines are completely unusable after 2-3 years due to “Mom, you are NEVER supposed to click on that!” types of issues.

There is actually a much simpler solution that giving root access to a strange website (who really hates it when you start asking questions about their service). You can just unplug your parents from the internet. A disconnected machine is a safe machine (that can still play solitaire). And your mom doesn’t need to be reading your Facebook updates anyway.

Just FYI: I know these ads are old (2008 or so), but my sleep schedule has been 9 kinds of wacky pants for a couple of months so I am partaking in WAY more late night commercials/infomercials [as evidenced by the last 20 minutes of the most recent LoFijiNKS Podcast].

BILLS! BILLS! BILLS!:
Many of you know about the hell I and my family went through in 2009 with various illnesses and medical bills. Well, the bill from our last trip to the ER for our daughter came and it is over $2700 (that’s WITH insurance) and the best they will offer me is a monthly payment that is more than my car payment. This is in addition to the $1800 bill I am still paying down monthly for having the damage caused by my spinal tap repaired.

If you enjoy the comic and would like to help out, please consider making a small DONATION. Put “ER Bill” in the comments and I will make sure it goes straight to the Hospital/Collection Agency. I am very happy to report that the Fancy Bastards have already donated over $400 towards my medical expenses.

Thank you all so very much.