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Any (non-Topatoco) shirts you order from the HE Store now will absolutely not arrive by Dec. 24th. I just want to be clear about that.
The goal is to have every US shirt ordered by Dec 4th arrive by Dec. 24th. That’s what the shipping deadline says on the order page and everyone involved is doing their best to make that promise a reality. There is a possibility that some of the shirts ordered late on Dec 4th will not arrive by Dec. 24th. Any shirt orders (this applies to ALL HE SHIRTS THAT ARE NOT SHIPPED FROM TOPATOCO) placed after Dec 4th probably will not arrive by Dec. 24th. The Edward shirt orders were simply unexpected and overwhelming, hence the early cut off for holiday shipping. Thanks!
Now that Josh and I are essentially a new species, I’ll give you one guess as to who tries to initiate the mating ritual.
Star Trek Voyager fans will recognize this comic as an homage to what may be the stupidest episode they ever produced, “Threshold.” That’s the one where in between court marshalls, demotions and time in the brig, Tom Paris realizes he’s the greatest genius who ever lived and develops a method for traveling faster than Warp 10. Unfortunately the main side effects of existing simultaneously in all points in space and at every point in time past, present or future is kickstarting your own personal evolution into high gear, and a bad case of acid reflux. Naturally humans evolve into scabby, tongueless monsters and eventually into catfish-faced nematodes.
Non-Voyager fans can enjoy the fact that Real Life Josh did install an SSD into his Macbook Pro and now it instantly dual-boots into our dimension and 7 others, and the battery level indicator has stopped counting down all together and eventually started counting up. Right now instead of a percentage remaining it just keep flashing prime numbers. I think it’s attempting to communicate.
Tags: scifi, solid state drives, star trek, tech, tv, voyager
Related posts
December 16th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
This episode is one of the reasons I get "the look" when I say I liked Voyager. It's entirely indefensible, much like most of their bad episodes.
Also, now I really want an SSD. Damnit.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
for some reason O.P.P. was stuck in my head this morning. then i read this and got a little freaked out…
December 16th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Oh Joel, how you combine two things I never would have associated together and make something funny out of them is beyond me. But I'm just happy to be a witness to it.
I remembered the Voyager episode from watching it in high school, it was very over the top but I hadn't realized how bad it was until I got into some TNG goodness.
Those SSD's are expensive, is Josh wearing his money hat from Borderlands good showing?
December 16th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
worst fucking episode of voyager, EVER! -how in the hell are they going to retain all their memories after turning into carp?
December 16th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
I loved voyager, but I hated this episode. Especially considering the references in TNG to Warp 13, etc., leading to the obvious conflicts
December 16th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
I far preferred DS-9 over Voyager. Undoubtedly in parts, Gene Roddenberry must be oscillating at warp 10 in his grave.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:49 pm
Totally missed this one – I thought it was a reference to that shitty Ben Kingsley/Gandhi time travel paradox movie, A Sound of Thunder…yeah…don't even ask…
December 16th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
That episode is so bad even I know it and haven't seen any of Voyager. Didn't the salamanders like, mate or something? Ewww.
-D
December 16th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
I loved Voyager. I recall seeing this episode. But, for the love of Shatner, I couldn't remember this episode until I checked out the link. How did you recall this for a comic joke? And why wasn't this episode blocked out of your memory like a traumatic childhood memory?
December 16th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Answer: Use the education box they use on Venture Bros!
December 16th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
This comic has more Trekkie cred then any other competent comic on the Interwebz. Love.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Srsly. I had blocked the warp 10 episode (and a lot of other dumb Tom Paris shit) from my memory and was trying to search my brain for the dumbest thing Neelix ever did instead.
December 16th, 2009 at 9:20 pm
Haha I love the look on salamander Josh's face. I think I missed that episode of Voyager, I kinda want to see how terrible it was.
Also 256Gb=32GB, I'm forced to dock you one geek point.:)
December 16th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
I'm either sloppy drunk or that just doesn't make sense.
How does 256Gb=32Gb? And why is the room spinning?
December 16th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
I can't believe that no one has answered this yet, but Josh would initiate… begrudgingly.
December 16th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
Gb=Gigabit GB=Gigabyte 8 bits=1byte
December 16th, 2009 at 10:19 pm
Hahaha! Josh is so totally the guy who would be unimpressed with warp tech as not fast enough!!!!
December 16th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Gotcha. No more drinks before five.
December 16th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Hey I liked the Tom Paris demotion and subsequent brig-ification episode
It showed real character growth for his character, and iirc the pips on his collar showed he remained Ensign Paris for quite a few episodes. It was Voyager with consequences and true continuity!
Love your reference to that insane VOY episode though. And gutsy too, considering you know what happened to Salamander Janeway and Paris afterwards
December 16th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Amazing comic
There are just not enough Voyager homages on web comics. You made my day!
Plus now I wand a solid state drive. *drool*
December 16th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
@ Muinamir
The dumbest thing Neelix ever did? Infect Voyager's biological computer system with mold spores from alien cheese he just HAD to have.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I totally caught the Naughty By Nature reference too. Better than Kris Kross, that's for sure.
December 17th, 2009 at 12:53 am
Dumb episodes like this are why DS9 remains my favourite Star Trek ever, that and epic space battles.
December 17th, 2009 at 12:56 am
seriously it's stupid fast, and it's not even one of the server-grade high-end drives.
December 17th, 2009 at 1:24 am
What about that episode where Tuvok and Neelix got caught in a transporter beam and ended up as Tuvix. You know, half-Vulcan, half whatever Neelix was, empathic but logical, all that…
December 17th, 2009 at 1:39 am
But Paris did get to nail Janeway…and found out she smelled like fish.
December 17th, 2009 at 6:09 am
I think they call that "jumping the Salamander"
December 17th, 2009 at 6:11 am
Don't you know they can fix anything on that show with the transporter?
December 17th, 2009 at 6:14 am
DS9 was the bomb! Character driven sci-fi at its best.
December 17th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Yup….. Captain Janeway and Paris evolve and then get it on! Bowchicka bow bow!
December 17th, 2009 at 6:18 am
Was I the only one who wanted Tuvix to stick around just so Nelix wouldn't be on the show anymore? He was like the Jar Jar Binks of Star Trek.
December 17th, 2009 at 6:21 am
That and you can't go wrong with Jemhedar and Changlings….on par with the Borg as bad guys.
December 17th, 2009 at 6:23 am
Joel's watching reruns of Star Trek while he works again…..
December 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
It says a lot about Trek that the only sign of continuity is a pip on a collar.
(Sorry, no offence intended Trekkies, B5 fan here – I like my sci-fi with *stories*
December 17th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I loved the Quark episodes, they were the cream of them all.
December 17th, 2009 at 10:06 am
One day joel will run out of Sci-fi to reference, and that will be a black day for all of us.
December 17th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Flat out the worst Voyager episode ever and considering how brutally bad the shwo was that's saying a LOT.
Sorry – I love Trek, but Voyager was unwatchable for me.
This COMIC however never ceases to make me chuckle – sometimes guffaw!
Love the middle panel – especially considering the shock on Josh's face turning into 'meh' in panel 3!
December 17th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
thats what you get for owning a mac. now if it would just do that to the rest of the mac owners so it would be easy to herd them up and execute them all.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
I read an article with Brannon Braga where he says the same thing. Of all the eps he wrote from all the series he just gets called out for that one. I say he deserves it.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
That Daddy Mack'l make ya…
December 17th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
I think its less about new money hats and more about being single, unattached and having disposable income.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
and by extension any episode featuring the Nagus or Liquidator Brunt.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Im going to go out on a limb and say that movie never existed.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
not only did they mate, but their offspring were left on the alien world they did the deed on. Somewhere in the Delta quadrant there are million year evolved humans plotting to come to earth and kill us.
December 17th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
The best part was when he BEGS janeway not to murder him and she's all "whatever, MURDERTHISMOTHERFUCKER!"
December 17th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Dude, SGU is just getting better and better. FF is a lost cause but SGU deserves another chance.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
i could probably do a whole comic series about nothing but TNG but eventually I would be the only one reading it.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
dont blame me. blame the chinese manufacturer that made the box.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
it actually took him about a year to get his rank back. They made a big deal out of it. The funny thing was, though his rank was reduced his responsibilities never changed. It was just a shame thing.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
Im going to wait until they cost about what hard drives do now. Then it will be like getting a new computer.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
blergh.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
again? or always?
December 17th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
the sun will have burned out long before that happens.
December 17th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Be nice.
December 17th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
I wish I had money so I could give it to you.
December 17th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
I wonder, back in the '90s when everyone was switching from cartridges to discs, if anyone would have taken seriously the claim that "solid state" would one day be a big deal in the tech world again.
December 17th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Voyager should be scheduled by the FDA as a potentially-abused narcotic, if you ask me. I therefore got nothing else to say beside "courts martial." Since you're not put off by us nit-pickers…at least in your human form.
December 17th, 2009 at 11:47 pm
So say we all
December 18th, 2009 at 4:48 am
@ hijinksensue
Right about when you hit the season four-ish area stories, right?
December 18th, 2009 at 4:55 am
Yeah because they have abandonment issues…
December 18th, 2009 at 4:56 am
probably both…there wasn't a lot on in the way of scifi the last few months unless you count the new shows.
December 18th, 2009 at 3:20 am
The real sad thing about FF is that I'm a Canadian and a reader. This show made some understandable changes for the target audiance, but still leaves a black mark on Canada.
Not Celine Dion sized, but still a mark.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
sounds like someones jealous of 7's success!!
but in all truth i like your plan.
December 18th, 2009 at 9:37 am
@ Mike
If killing off the Apple sales base is your goal, just float a rumor about free "Apple Care" at a pre-determined location and lay in wait with a sniper rifle and a buttload of ammo.
You won't have that problem offing Windows users, they tend to slit their own wrists with shards of Vista install discs for some reason…
December 18th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
I'm pretty sure they introduced Paris purely as the voyager equivalent of Riker And His Many Humpquests, but decided that this was a different age, and they needed to tone down on said Humpquests… Of course they were wrong.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
The only references to Warp 13 were in "possible future" episodes which firstly may never actually happen (within that universe) and secondly could refer to a modified scale, possibly including transwarp conduits.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Well I love Star Trek, don't dislike any of the series' at all and I will never understand firstly what peoples real issue was with Voyager and secondly what the big deal with this episode was, and I take Braga's comments with a pinch of salt, he was just trying to save face by admitting this ep was a stinker, he was very badly looked on by the fanbase anyway! Personally I was entertained by this and most other Voyager episodes.
December 19th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Any chance of a podcast in the near future?
December 19th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
Hopefully one more before the end of the year
December 19th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Awesome,another thing to look forward to!
December 20th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Of course chap, ferengi crack me up. It struck me as i was watching that the makers do all their best to portray them as avaricious and greedy tricksters in business, to which i then thought "as opposed to the warm and wonderful ways humans conduct their business?" I suppose gene roddenberry had some big ego.
January 8th, 2010 at 3:36 am
And yet you left the mating out of the comic.
*sigh*
January 8th, 2010 at 3:38 am
Voyager = Janeway + shame
At least, I think that's the correct equation.