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EMAIL JOEL
Welcome To The Machine
This comic depicts my adventures with the inversion table I just bought off of The Craig List. I’ve come to refer to it as “The Infernal Machine.” For the uninitiated, the purpose of an inversion table is to hang you upside down by your ankles to relieve tension on your spine. The first time you strap in and invert, you get the sensation that all of your feet blood is fighting a turf war with your head blood for control of your brain. Your eyes feel like they’r being hoovered back into your skull and your ears immediately engorge with hatred. It’s unpleasant to say the least. Once you get used to it, however, it’s not so bad.
After 5-10 minutes in The Infernal Machine, my spine feels quite a bit better. The positive effects only last for a few minutes right now but I’m hoping they will lengthen with repeated use. I should also mention that my left ankle is only attached to my leg by a tangled mess of sinew, muscle and fractured fragments of bone. 
With all the book related extra work I’ve had, I’ve neglected to update The Vault. I tried to remedy that today by adding 3 posts showing the making of the art for the book cover, and new desktop featuring the Ewok Stare based on this comic.
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Tags: autobio, back pain, health, The Princess Bride
Related posts
September 1st, 2009 at 2:42 am
hahahahahahahahahha
August 31st, 2009 at 9:42 pm
I tried one of those things once. I should have figured out how to get out of it before I got on. As soon as I got upside-down I freaked out and couldn’t get myself right-side up. I eventually got out by removing one ankle at a time and nearly falling on my head. I guess you’re supposed to have a partner.
September 1st, 2009 at 2:50 am
so does Josh have six fingers (and should he prepare to die the next time Eli sees him)?
September 1st, 2009 at 2:59 am
in the HEniverse it would be 5 fingers.
September 1st, 2009 at 3:26 am
For the first time, I think I don't get it.
September 1st, 2009 at 3:36 am
Princess Bride dude, Princess Bride.
September 1st, 2009 at 4:14 am
Yay! PRINCESS BRIDE is the best everevereverevereverever!
And the book is several orders of magnitude better than the movie. Really.
Wonderful comic, and I'm really sorry about your back. Hope you find something that works!
September 1st, 2009 at 4:20 am
"My name is Eli Luna and you drank all of the beer. Prepare to die!"
September 1st, 2009 at 7:00 am
Great to see Princess Bride references – love that film!
September 1st, 2009 at 7:29 am
Wait, where did the PB ref's appear in that strip?
September 1st, 2009 at 7:38 am
Find an osteopath! I couldn't walk without mine.
September 1st, 2009 at 7:39 am
I have one of those @home & it rules! 10 minutes on that thing reversed months of what my usual slouched sitting did to my spine, which has the Mom-sickening effect when it goes snap-crackle-pop like Rice Crispies. I have a new, better name than "inversion table": the Bat-rack! Hang upside-down & try doing situps saying "I am the night!" for a few reps. Just make sure you have someone in the room to flip you back up.
Speaking of Batman, did you see io9's latest poll on TV badasses? River Tam vs. Batman?! And she won??!! WTF???!!!
September 1st, 2009 at 12:50 pm
I love the first panel, especially Josh's first line. (Still no Brokeback jokes, though)
The back-wreck thingy of yours is awful, but being able to draw inspiration from your pain/other misfortunes is a sign of true artist!
(Or not, but that's what I tell myself when I doodle "argh my life is made of fail"-comics in my sketchbook)
-D
September 1st, 2009 at 12:55 pm
We use to have one of those at my gym. I think it broke. It was weird the first time and I could only use it for like two minutes, but after you get use to it, it's really awesome; relaxing even.
September 1st, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Love it! Princess Bride is one of my favorites.
September 1st, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Everything but the first panel.
September 1st, 2009 at 12:18 pm
For some reason, I am reminded of the floating upside-down suspension unit used by George McFly in Back To The Future 2.
September 1st, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Princess Bride references are the very best kind of references.
Is it sad I caught it right in the middle of the second panel?
Also, "to blave" means "to bluff". SO, Joel must have been playing cards, and he cheated!
September 1st, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Joel, you are my hero.
September 1st, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Love the Princess Bride reference! "Inconceivable!" My kids demand it regularly!
P
Hope the Infernal Machine works for your back. My mum in law's got one, I know what you mean about the head thing!
September 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 am
WTF, Joel?!? I was just looking up Princess Bride on Wikipedia for a fanfiction I'm writing (a Thursday Next fanfic, actually). The history of this tab starts with William Goldm– er, S. Morgenstern's other book, The Silent Gondoliers.
Weird coincidences…
September 2nd, 2009 at 1:33 am
Is an osteopath anything like a psychopath. They both end in 'path' so it can't be a coincidence.
Gollum, standing along a river while beating a live fish to death, says to the viewer:
"Yes Yes Precious we can fix his back" (continues to beat the live fish while mumbling to Precious about bone therapies he can perform and how much he likes bones)
I suggest you pull out you spine and get a mechanical exoskeleton replacement modeled after nearsighted Howler monkey spines (Howler monkey-man?).
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:31 am
ah, pure pure gold. I have nothing really to add to the convo just my general approval. Get well soon!
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:43 am
Only me that noticed the Pink Floyd reference in the name? o_O
Strange concidering that the "wish you were here" album is one of the best, ever.
And on the not of the infernal machine, I've tried it a few times. Besides the gush of blood to the head, it was actually quite nice and (not that I had any real problems with my back) my spine felt rather good afterwards.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@Joel: I just got the Princess Bride joke. I love it when there's subtle references I can pick up on, especially when the really old geeky stuff is hard for my 19 year old self to understand. For example I have never seen any of the Star Trek TV series all the way through. I fail as a nerd/geek somehow because of that.
I hope your back feels much better soon, I recommend a family member instead of a chiropractor cracks your back for you, it always fixes mine right. Chiropractors for me summon up the image of the infamous Back Kraken, a creature so vile the back of no man can survive it and live without pain and misery.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Also I wanted to point out that Josh gets more evil with every comic. How far will he go before he becomes a 21st Century Sade?
September 2nd, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Princess Bride FTW!
Coincidentally my girlfriend's bad back was acting up last night to the point of her crying and begging for drugs, my help or anything to stop the pain. I simply said "as you wish" Thankfully a good massage from myself eased the pain enough that she could get to sleep.
Careful Joel, you're in danger of having a story arc and character development.
September 2nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
That should really be Muahahahaha! considering your the villain here
September 2nd, 2009 at 6:21 pm
By which you mean a Smooth Operator, surely.
September 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
Awesome Princess Bride Reference
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:17 pm
If we put you in that chair long enough will you tell us where you hid the WMDs?
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:25 pm
He must have playing cards with the mob then.
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:26 pm
Josh looks so jazzed for this whole process. He probably was just waiting for a chance to show off his new totally-not-a-sex-toy toy.
September 5th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Hahahahaha love the Princess Bride references. It's one of my favorite movies, my family and I watch it every holiday that we go over to my grandfather's house. Also, comic Josh is totally lying about it not being a sex device. You can see it in his eyes.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:54 am
[...] at least 150 times. 6 times or so in the last couple of months thanks to TNT-HD, which explains my recent preoccupation with it. It’s my wife’s favorite film and certainly holds a spot in my top 10. It is also one [...]
October 6th, 2009 at 5:53 pm
[...] Dying? Dead? If you haven’t been following my recent health tragedies you can catch up HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE. I am pleased to say that my normal back pain (due to a bulging disk) is all but [...]