A Fetish Revealed
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July 13th, 2009

A Fetish Revealed

Alternate Title: Sittin’ In The Box O’ The Bay

the-hijinks-ensue-store-e28094-sci-five-t-shirtMichael Bay traveled to our time from a distant future where man is enslaved by sentient explosions. He also made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari while he filmed it. One can only assume she wasn’t the first actor to get in Bay’s good graces by indulging his is peculiar obsession. Honestly, if the only thing that gets you off is celebrities washing expensive cars there probably isn’t a lot of porn in that genre ready for your enjoyment. I can see why he would take it into his own hands (pun intended) to produce it on his own.

“Like this, Mr. Bay?”

“Yeah, just like that. You’re auditioning for the scene where Cappuccinotron, the Transformer with the stereotypically Italian accent, drives through some mud, then an explosion, then more mud then five more explosions and needs to be washed. Fine Italian transformers can only be washed by hand… in cutoffs…”

SPECIAL THING FOR SERENITY / FIREFLY FANS!!

My friend Mikey is parting with his beloved Serenity Prop Sword and you can totally buy it. It was actually used in the final battle scene between Capt. Mal and The Operative.

Read more and bid HERE.

PS

Sorry for the lack of a comic on Friday. I was in a bit of a creative rut and didn’t want to half ass it.

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^ 38 Comments...

  1. DuckAmuck

    Hmm… who knew the proverbial "couch" had four wheels?

  2. hijinksensue

    Hmmm… the tapes arent super legible after resizing. Ill redo them with a font instead of handwriting and maybe theyll be easier to make out.

  3. Greg

    To be fair, washing a car is a lot less seedy that what I would have Megan do in an audition. Also, I went to school with the film reviewer mentioned in the link, Jason Solomons. It's funny seeing folks you know in the press.

  4. greg2point0

    I bet the Shia LaBeouf tape has a lot of him saying "No Michael. No No NO NO!!!"

  5. Sean

    Wow, the sword is over $300, and there's still nearly 6 days left! A little out of my price range, but I can still drool over the pictures.

    Oh yeah…nice comic.

  6. bipolarbear

    If half of what you hear about auditions are true I'm sure she thought "all I have to do is wash a car? That's way better than a bj."

  7. bipolarbear

    Then again….could "car wash" be code for something? ;)

  8. bipolarbear

    Working at the car wash….hmmm that song takes on whole new meaning….

  9. hijinksensue

    If anyone makes up a good celeb/car pairing for the top right tape, Ill add it in there when I redo the text.

  10. Rich

    Something about Martin Lawrence and a Mini…or maybe a low rider.

  11. duder

    Hasselhoff and KITT?, too easy huh.

  12. Sultmhoor

    I was totally expecting to see Josh in that chair watching the connery/lamborghini combo

  13. Hobbesie

    John Belushi/Bluesmobile

  14. Hobbesie

    Hell, Dan Aykroyd and Ecto-1

  15. BwahahaCars

    Paul Walker with the Toyota Supra….. Vin Diesel with the Dodge Charger.

  16. The_Bruce

    Steve McQueen sliding sensuously in and out of a Dodge Charger, sleeping-with-the-enemy style?

    Awesome comic btw, loved the tapes, had me a right old chuckle! Missus wasn't too impressed, it's quarter to two in the morning here!

  17. The_Bruce

    Got to throw a classic in there; Steve McQueen sliding sensuously in and out of a Dodge Charger, sleeping-with-the-enemy style?

    Awesome comic btw, loved the tapes, had me a right old chuckle! Missus wasn't too impressed, it's quarter to two in the morning here!

  18. The_Bruce

    Is it just me or does that last pane smack slightly of the scene in True Lies when Arnie watches Jamie Lee pole-dancing? Down even to the position of the tape-player (now remote) or am I reading too much into this?
    I am. I'll leave now.

  19. The_Bruce

    Is it just me or does that last panel smack slightly of the scene in True Lies when Arnie watches Jamie Lee pole-dancing? Down even to the position of the tape-player (now remote) or am I reading too much into this?
    I am. I'll leave now.

  20. The_Bruce

    Ooh, ooh! Could whoever it is be rubbing a stain out with a chamois leather?

    Just a thought…

  21. Eddie

    The only thing that's missing is a White Snake joke.

  22. hijinksensu5337

    You are reading too much into it, but you are also sort of right.

  23. GBeans

    I gotta wonder how well she cleaned it, and whether she could reach all of the roof.

    I'm really glad the sword seems to be raising a lot of interest. If the poor bastard has to part with it, it'd be criminal if it went for too little.

  24. Seandalf

    I didn't know Bay was a lefty.

  25. Sean

    Tom Sizemore shammys Cadillac

  26. Sean

    Hmmm…that last comment was meant to be humorous, but I think it just made me sound like a dick. Maybe I should leave the jokes to the professionals.

  27. Alexander Flores

    Gah! Seandalf! You beat me to that comment by a whole hour! Damn you Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!

  28. Jeff Baier

    Totally off-topic question:

    Did Denise and Eli just move in together? If so, I totally called it way back in December

    http://hijinksensue.com/2008/12/01/there-goes-my-...

  29. Junkyard

    Michele Lee shines VW Beetle?

  30. davebear_IN

    Mmmm…. Sean Connery's chest hair. Grrrr.

    Though I think "Bruce Willis Sudsy Hummer" wins the tape name game.

  31. geekygirluk

    I'm nearly crying at not being able to afford the sword. I want it SO much. Better check if they know about it on UK Browncoats – someone there will probably have enough for it.

  32. bipolarbear

    Tom Selleck buffs a ferrari with his mustache!

  33. bipolarbear

    It kinda amazes me that a real movie prop like that gets all the way to ebay….and then isn't snatched up by a rich collector or sci-fi museum.

  34. geekygirluk

    I'm surprised my own self.

    I guess there must be so much old movie junk out there that collectors have to be *really* discerning about what they'll buy, and museums couldn't take them all. But Serenity props should really be given a home in the valhalla of props.

  35. Duckamuck

    I would think a creepy celeb/car pairing would involve Barney. There has to be some skeletons in that dinosaurs closet. But what car? Prowler? Spider? Gremlin?

  36. AmazingAdrian

    Actually, I wonder if this explains why Mr. Bay became the director of Transformers in the first place? It doesn't really strike me as the kind of franchise that most others would be jumping to get (at least, not before the success of the first movie).

  37. Wretched and Beautiful : links for 2009-07-14

    [...] HijiNKS Ensue – Geek Webcomic – Updates Monday, Wednesday and Friday » Archive » A Fetish Revealed "Michael Bay traveled to our time from a distant future where man is enslaved by sentient explosions." (tags: comics) [...]

  38. Heliphyneau

    I signed up just to post this:

    Ned Beatty gut buffs VW Bug.

    I suspect there will be squealing.

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