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A Fetish Revealed
Alternate Title: Sittin’ In The Box O’ The Bay
Michael Bay traveled to our time from a distant future where man is enslaved by sentient explosions. He also made Megan Fox wash his Ferrari while he filmed it. One can only assume she wasn’t the first actor to get in Bay’s good graces by indulging his is peculiar obsession. Honestly, if the only thing that gets you off is celebrities washing expensive cars there probably isn’t a lot of porn in that genre ready for your enjoyment. I can see why he would take it into his own hands (pun intended) to produce it on his own.
“Like this, Mr. Bay?”
“Yeah, just like that. You’re auditioning for the scene where Cappuccinotron, the Transformer with the stereotypically Italian accent, drives through some mud, then an explosion, then more mud then five more explosions and needs to be washed. Fine Italian transformers can only be washed by hand… in cutoffs…”
SPECIAL THING FOR SERENITY / FIREFLY FANS!!
My friend Mikey is parting with his beloved Serenity Prop Sword and you can totally buy it. It was actually used in the final battle scene between Capt. Mal and The Operative.
PS
Sorry for the lack of a comic on Friday. I was in a bit of a creative rut and didn’t want to half ass it.
Related posts
July 13th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Hmm… who knew the proverbial "couch" had four wheels?
July 13th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
Hmmm… the tapes arent super legible after resizing. Ill redo them with a font instead of handwriting and maybe theyll be easier to make out.
July 13th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
To be fair, washing a car is a lot less seedy that what I would have Megan do in an audition. Also, I went to school with the film reviewer mentioned in the link, Jason Solomons. It's funny seeing folks you know in the press.
July 13th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
I bet the Shia LaBeouf tape has a lot of him saying "No Michael. No No NO NO!!!"
July 13th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Wow, the sword is over $300, and there's still nearly 6 days left! A little out of my price range, but I can still drool over the pictures.
Oh yeah…nice comic.
July 13th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
If half of what you hear about auditions are true I'm sure she thought "all I have to do is wash a car? That's way better than a bj."
July 13th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Then again….could "car wash" be code for something?
July 13th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Working at the car wash….hmmm that song takes on whole new meaning….
July 13th, 2009 at 9:53 pm
If anyone makes up a good celeb/car pairing for the top right tape, Ill add it in there when I redo the text.
July 13th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
Something about Martin Lawrence and a Mini…or maybe a low rider.
July 13th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Hasselhoff and KITT?, too easy huh.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:02 am
I was totally expecting to see Josh in that chair watching the connery/lamborghini combo
July 14th, 2009 at 12:28 am
John Belushi/Bluesmobile
July 14th, 2009 at 12:29 am
Hell, Dan Aykroyd and Ecto-1
July 14th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Paul Walker with the Toyota Supra….. Vin Diesel with the Dodge Charger.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Steve McQueen sliding sensuously in and out of a Dodge Charger, sleeping-with-the-enemy style?
Awesome comic btw, loved the tapes, had me a right old chuckle! Missus wasn't too impressed, it's quarter to two in the morning here!
July 14th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Got to throw a classic in there; Steve McQueen sliding sensuously in and out of a Dodge Charger, sleeping-with-the-enemy style?
Awesome comic btw, loved the tapes, had me a right old chuckle! Missus wasn't too impressed, it's quarter to two in the morning here!
July 14th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Is it just me or does that last pane smack slightly of the scene in True Lies when Arnie watches Jamie Lee pole-dancing? Down even to the position of the tape-player (now remote) or am I reading too much into this?
I am. I'll leave now.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Is it just me or does that last panel smack slightly of the scene in True Lies when Arnie watches Jamie Lee pole-dancing? Down even to the position of the tape-player (now remote) or am I reading too much into this?
I am. I'll leave now.
July 14th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Ooh, ooh! Could whoever it is be rubbing a stain out with a chamois leather?
Just a thought…
July 14th, 2009 at 1:09 am
The only thing that's missing is a White Snake joke.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:21 am
You are reading too much into it, but you are also sort of right.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:49 am
I gotta wonder how well she cleaned it, and whether she could reach all of the roof.
I'm really glad the sword seems to be raising a lot of interest. If the poor bastard has to part with it, it'd be criminal if it went for too little.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:04 am
I didn't know Bay was a lefty.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:08 am
Tom Sizemore shammys Cadillac
July 14th, 2009 at 3:11 am
Hmmm…that last comment was meant to be humorous, but I think it just made me sound like a dick. Maybe I should leave the jokes to the professionals.
July 14th, 2009 at 4:42 am
Gah! Seandalf! You beat me to that comment by a whole hour! Damn you Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince!
July 14th, 2009 at 4:59 am
Totally off-topic question:
Did Denise and Eli just move in together? If so, I totally called it way back in December
http://hijinksensue.com/2008/12/01/there-goes-my-...
July 14th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Michele Lee shines VW Beetle?
July 14th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Mmmm…. Sean Connery's chest hair. Grrrr.
Though I think "Bruce Willis Sudsy Hummer" wins the tape name game.
July 14th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
I'm nearly crying at not being able to afford the sword. I want it SO much. Better check if they know about it on UK Browncoats – someone there will probably have enough for it.
July 14th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Tom Selleck buffs a ferrari with his mustache!
July 14th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
It kinda amazes me that a real movie prop like that gets all the way to ebay….and then isn't snatched up by a rich collector or sci-fi museum.
July 14th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
I'm surprised my own self.
I guess there must be so much old movie junk out there that collectors have to be *really* discerning about what they'll buy, and museums couldn't take them all. But Serenity props should really be given a home in the valhalla of props.
July 14th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I would think a creepy celeb/car pairing would involve Barney. There has to be some skeletons in that dinosaurs closet. But what car? Prowler? Spider? Gremlin?
July 14th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
Actually, I wonder if this explains why Mr. Bay became the director of Transformers in the first place? It doesn't really strike me as the kind of franchise that most others would be jumping to get (at least, not before the success of the first movie).
July 14th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
[...] HijiNKS Ensue – Geek Webcomic – Updates Monday, Wednesday and Friday » Archive » A Fetish Revealed "Michael Bay traveled to our time from a distant future where man is enslaved by sentient explosions." (tags: comics) [...]
July 15th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
I signed up just to post this:
Ned Beatty gut buffs VW Bug.
I suspect there will be squealing.