COMIC & BLOG
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Revised Company Policies
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“Yarrr! Tell Steve, it be me 15 minute break. Ye’ll be findin’ me in Davey Jones’ Break Room feastin’ on a Hot Pocket and a tankard o’ Mr. Pib.”
[There are a few new additions and updates to The Store. Check it out!]
So, The Pirate Bay was acquired by a “legitimate” company that plans to transform it into a “legitimate company.” I’m sure they’re banking on name recognition from all the media exposure and lawsuits to bring the honest non-eyepatch customers around. Remember how well that worked for Napster? [hint: not well]
YOUR COMMENT CHALLENGE: Assuming The Pirate Bay was a retail store (see the above comic for precident), give me some scenarios that might play in said store. How about bathroom signs that say “Employees must wash hooks before returning to work.” Or maybe OSHA guidelines demand all peglegs be made of spruce or maple.
- The Pirate Bay Raises The White Flag, Goes Legit
- A Glimpse at The Pirate Bay’s Uncertain Future
- Pirate Bay 2.0: Pay Pirates to Become Consumers
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Applicants to work at The Pirate Bay Retail Experience must have at least 3 gold teeth, scurvy, and a variety of sexually transmitted diseases to be selected from the list below
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:44 pm
lol @ TPBRE
July 4th, 2009 at 12:06 am
All I can say is the sexual harassment program would be VERY interesting ("Wait, so we're NOT supposed to chase bosom-y women around the tavern??").
July 4th, 2009 at 12:14 am
I don't understand how you can acquire the pirate bay, but if you can, we're going to need a new Tortuga, if you'll pardon the reference. It'd be really easy to fill that gap, it seems to me. I'm holding out for a hero.
July 4th, 2009 at 1:37 am
From the Employee Handbook: Employees must avoid ARRRRRRRRRRGuing with customers.
Also: Keelhauls strictly forbidden unless ordered by Manager.
July 4th, 2009 at 3:05 am
Customers caught shoplifting will be fined $1.5 million then given $20 and forced to work free for the rest of their natural life.
Customers caught scamming other customers will be fined $1.5 million and forced to work for the rest of their natural life, and into the first century of their afterlife.
July 4th, 2009 at 5:31 am
At Pirate Bay sexual haRRRRRassment is encouraged and wenching is required. If a fine filly give ye the eye(cause she only has one) feel free to have her shiver your timber in the copy room.
July 4th, 2009 at 5:40 am
Yarrr we're being boarded by a hostile company! Ready your weapons and prepare to give em hell. Hold your fire til you see the whites of their eyes and the green of their investment capital!! No quarter to the invaders!
July 4th, 2009 at 6:40 am
This comic actually showed up below the post in the Google RSS Reader (but just above the Topatoco ad and Related Posts). First time that's happened – don't know if you've done anything different.
July 4th, 2009 at 3:25 am
The Pirate Bay: Keeping Your Rum DRM-Free Since 2009.
Alcohol consumption on the job is not only encouraged, but required. Employees whose BAC fall under the required limit (.15) will be sent home and asked to "drink up" before returning to work.
July 4th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Remember PB employees, to Err is human, to ARR is pirate!
July 4th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
Company Memo:
TO: All Employees
Subject: Lost item in breakroom
Body:
A hook with tankard-drinking attachment has been found in the breakroom. If it is yours, please submit a detailed subscription to security and we will return it to you.
Thank you,
Management
July 4th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
I notice the gold tooth changes from one side to the other..
July 5th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Arr, that be quality pirate representation…
July 6th, 2009 at 12:40 am
God damnit! Ill fix it later.
July 6th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
So, are we meeting Boxcar Pete's more successful brother, here?
July 6th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Free lemons with every purchase to help fight scurvy!
July 6th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
No but I can see the source of confusion. Where as Boxcar Pete is a hobo that just so happens to TALK like a pirate, this fellow is a pirate through and through.
July 6th, 2009 at 5:38 pm
I think everyone who's ever worked in retail will agree with me when I say the Pirate's understanding of returns policies is vastly superior to that normally employed by retail outlets.
It should be introduced worldwide with immediate effect!
July 19th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Any customer caught in the act of attempting to use monetary gains to obtain any of the following will be immediately bludgeoned and keelhauled, and, if they haven't learned their lesson yet, shot to death with the company blunderbuss:
Any album by Lil Wayne, Lil' Romeo, Lil' Flip, or any other rapper whose name starts with Lil, Lil' or Little.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest
*insert long list of horridly bad music, movies, video games, etc. here*