If This Battlestar’s A-Rockin’
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January 26th, 2009

If This Battlestar’s A-Rockin’

Sometimes he makes her wear an eye patch and call him “The Old Man.”

Isn’t it about time these two frakked? Or do you believe, as I do, that Adama and Roslin have been knocking space boots since New Caprica? Or are you of the opinion, as so many unfortunately are, that you have no idea what this comic is about because you don’t watch Battlestar Galactica (shame on you, bad geek, BAD GEEK!)?

I know ultraspecificSPLODE comics like these are bound to alienate a vast number of you Fancy Bastards, but BSG has nearly run its course and I have to get this stuff out of my system while it’s still relevant.

Even if you don’t know the specifics of the Roslin/Adama relationship dynamic, you can still enjoy the fact that two old people are banging in space. That’s Grade-A Hotness right there. To make it even nastier, the lady involved is bald and dying of cancer (queue the “bow-chicka-wow-wow” music)!  I know, right? If you are too turned on to continue reading this, feel free to stop here and go have some sex.

……….

Did I mention the dude portion of this futuristic elderly sexcapade has a face so leathery and scarred with pock marks, craters, cracks and crevaces that it looks like the Moon and an old couch bad a baby? This pairing is oozing with sexual intercourse appeal… and probably some BenGay.

[Credit goes to Eli for coming up with the de-cornered condom wrappers. That shit is gold.]

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^ 92 Comments...

  1. Shaybe

    So gross and so awesome….Not sure what to say…

  2. occono

    Ahahaha. All I have to add.

  3. Kurotsuki

    well…..That was Disturbing. Yet awesome.
    Disturbingly awesome ? wut ?

  4. jack'sinvisiblem.e.

    so say we all

  5. Flanked

    They're both just after a good frak.

  6. Tommy WinBear

    Getting a handjob for round 7 sounds like a pretty decent deal to me.

  7. FrakTruck

    oh god why did I have to be eating when I read this….

    Related note: did anybody else notice that HotDog is starting to inherit the Olmos Canyonface?

  8. hijinksensue

    he's insatiable.

  9. hijinksensue

    All Olmos males are shot in the face by Dick Cheney upon reaching adulthood.

  10. KutWhoUp

    That's just because he's the next version of the Husker model cylon.

  11. Sean

    Since I've yet to watch BSG, I'm just going to go ahead and assume this comic is hilarious with the proper background. So good job Joel!

  12. hijinksensue

    I made this knowing good and well that non-BSG people would have no idea what it was about, but BSG ends soon so I have to get these out of my system while I still can. Also watch BSG.

  13. King Zilch

    That was so frakkin' worth the wait.

    Does anyone else think Bill and Laura have actually been doing it since New Caprica, and this is just the first time they've let us see it? Or am I just a repressed slash writer? I mean, it was one thing when I assumed that about Mulder and Scully, but when I passionately argued that Lister and Rimmer were doing the nasty off-camera, my friends started getting a little worried.

  14. firstlady1408

    LMFAO..You just made my night, corner cut condoms too…frakkin A!

  15. pupruff

    I'm impresssed with how quickly you got the frakking strip up.

    And SEVEN times? Damn. I feel lucking to get two a night and i'm 25 years younger than him. (starts looking for vitamin C)

  16. The Televixen

    This is frakkin' brilliant! Great touch with the condom wrappers, too.

  17. Shawn

    Shot in the face….ewwww bad choice of words give the comic topic. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit…

  18. Shawn

    Bald president there kinda makes me think of bald Ripley from Aliens 3.

  19. Shawn

    He's just hot for teacher!

  20. Eman

    And if the "5 Delegates" get tired, there is always the "Final 5"…

  21. hijinksensue

    at least he wont get it in her hair.

  22. hijinksensue

    I cant tell you how close I was to using that joke instead, but it broke the continuity.

  23. Erin

    You're just a repressed slash writer. :)

  24. Shawn

    So if there were 6 "payloads" where are the other 2 condoms or did they just go au natural?

  25. groonk

    i-i feel so dirty now. 0_o

  26. groonk

    i-i feel so dirty now. 0_o

    …and a little turned on….

    i didn't type that!

  27. josh

    Oh god i feel just as gross reading this as I did watching it.

    She could have at least had the decency to wear the wig.

  28. Subacca

    Hell yeah! Get it, Laura. *grin*

  29. FarrisGoldstein

    This was fucking funny, but didn't at all make make me hate BSG any less.

  30. doug

    Hahahahahahah!

  31. doug

    The comic and the scene reminded me of Ilia from ST:TMP

  32. T-digga

    WOW! Great job!
    I fucking love this show! Adama and Roslin are the best shit ever. They can fuck each others brains out till the universe collapses. How much ya'll wanna make a bet these two end up saving the whole fucking world? ROCK ON!

  33. hijinksensue

    arent we all?

  34. hijinksensue

    Oh totally. I think they've been knocking space boots since the occupation.

  35. hijinksensue

    Im going to talk to Ron D. Moore and Durex about putting those into production.

  36. hijinksensue

    yeah, number 3 is always like a dry heave.

  37. hijinksensue

    Thanks!

  38. hijinksensue

    nobody knows! (and I got tired of drawing condoms)

  39. hijinksensue

    Adama was wearing it until climax #3.

  40. hijinksensue

    at least BSG made this comic possible. Thats sort of something.

  41. hijinksensue

    She probably couldnt get into it until she stopped the meds. Now Adama's like "Yeah you probably dont need any more treatments. you'll probably be fine. Lets go frak some more."

  42. hijinksensue

    assuming there's a world to save. They've had 14 (counting New Caprica and Earth That Was) and they havent managed to keep one planet in working order.

  43. Final Ragnarok

    Just……So funny no acronym in the world could express how dementedly hilarious this is. By the way I think Olmos/McDonnell have to be the best old couple in Sci-fi…..nay, the world. Maybe if Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II shagged they could beat out Olmos/McDonnell, But it would have to be some kinky shit.

  44. Duder

    Hahahaha! wow, this is excellent. I love Adama's expression in the third panel

  45. jaiwithani

    15 counting Cobol

  46. Shakey

    Is it the old sex, hetero sex, sci-fi sex or bald sex that's made your stomach turn Josh?

    Personally it's the thought of Bill's cum face that's knocked me off-kilter a little…

  47. Shakey

    "This'll cure your frakkin' cancer!" and so on…

  48. Shakey

    Like involving the pastoral staff and Rosary beads?

  49. Shakey

    You are a sick bitch, Bruce, you know that?

    "Feel my octagonal, admiral command penis you slag!" or shall I stop crossing BSG with The Mighty Boosh now?

  50. RohanDP

    Joel, you're killing me man. I just managed to sear that image out of my brain, and then you just go and put it right back in. I was all for them hooking up, but I really didn't want to see it. shiver…

    BTW: great idea on the condom wrappers but doesn't that break the BSG law on baby makin'?

  51. Nacho

    Oh.. My.. God.. Thank you for that.

  52. karhedron

    My guess is they ran out, but ruled that in a state of emergency, they are reusable. Disgusting, I know. There was splashback.

    Btw, thanks for this comic. It rocked my face so hard (and the wife's). We're still on season 3, and have been for a while now, but have picked up watching it again recently. This comic made my week.

  53. ceer78

    Oh My… *vomits*
    Every bit as disgusting as the actual scene. While I can appreciate the scene for having allowed this comic to exist, I still wish they had never included it in the show.

  54. Gneekman

    Bald guy from King of the Hill? Also named Bill.
    The more you know ★

  55. Arcys

    Come into my rectory…

  56. Arcys

    Is that Adama or Casey Kasem?

  57. Arcys

    Is that Adama or Casey Kasem or Jamie Farr?

  58. The_Bruce

    Just wondering, what with the corner-cut condom wrappers and all, are the actual condoms similar? Octagonal, for her pleasure!

  59. The_Bruce

    Something about Adama's face makes me think of the bald guy from King of the Hill…
    'Frakking' awesome comic though! Made me chuckle most heartily so it did!
    Kudos to Eli; the cut corners do make that last panel something special!

  60. Shawn

    Just imagine that She's Mr. Clean and everything will be ok.

  61. Shawn

    I'll also whiten your teeth!

  62. Tankobite

    True that.

  63. Chadd

    The condom wrappers were a nice touch. Good show. This is classic, and will get you a lot of traffic from us BSG Frakkers.

  64. bloodjun

    hahaha… love it… i took your advice and watched BSG Season 1… LOOOOVED it…. i'll continue on it pretty soon

  65. King Zilch

    Fair enough. I think more slash writers should be repressed. I knew I should suppress the impulse way back in 1989 when I wrote some V slash.

  66. King Zilch

    "and Earth That Was"

    So the Firefly appearance in the pilot wasn't just an in-joke! It all makes sense now!

  67. Destiny

    No, I actually agree with you. I think the Battlestar's been rocking for at least a season and a half.

  68. Destiny

    Aww, I wish they sold condoms like that!

  69. hijinksensue

    Watch it quickly and you might be able to catch up to the new eps.

  70. hijinksensue

    Did that super nova blow up Cobol? I dont remember. If not, why not just go back and live there. Seemed like a nice enough place. Better yet, why not go back to new caprica and make it work?

  71. hijinksensue

    Lwaxana Troi and Odo is a pretty good pair of old scifarts too.

  72. hijinksensue

    Actually in this universe, their dicks are octagonal, as are their vaginas.

  73. hijinksensue

    They're above the law.

  74. Kristi

    Gross and awesome all at the same time. Good job Joel! I'm glad I wasn't the only one kinda grossed out by that scene. I mean, hooray for them and all, but I was happy without the mental image.

  75. Anonymous

    I love you. Please have my babies.

  76. RohanDP

    It probably wouldn't have mattered anyway. Those eggs are certainly shriveled up after all those Diloxin treatments.

    Oh Gods, that picture's back in my head, aagghh

  77. karhedron

    That's the plan – gonna watch episode 7 right now. Meanwhile, thanks for not spoiling the hell out of everything too much in the main podcast, but I heard things in the post-show that made me push the stop button and claw at my brain to erase the knowledge of… well, stuff that I can't type here cuz the wife would kill me. I've caught a few things before, but now I had a real big mindsplode. Trying hard to ignore and forget. Not that I'm holding a grudge against you guys for talking about junk, though.

    Anyway, will be watching lots these next few afternoons to get caught up.

  78. King Zilch

    So say we all, Shawn, so say we all.

  79. King Zilch

    The Edward-James-O-Face?

  80. pupruff

    Oh ew. I'm pretty kinky but that… (shudder)

  81. lou

    On that note, how about Roslin slips on a light-brunnette wig and makes ol' Moonface call her "D'anna" for the next go-around?

  82. lou

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
    My eyes! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!! What in the gods' names have you made me think of??!!!

  83. lou

    If I remember correctly, Adama once had Roslin arressted & tossed in the brig. Ya think they might get a little kinky in there? Maybe the safe word is "mutiny"!

  84. SomeGuy

    She's dying. So, condom wrappers? Really?

  85. Adam Myatt

    Condoms? Shouldn't they be trying to repopulate the human race or something? And they've totally been together since new caprica….

  86. Khate

    Well, exactly. Who'd want morning sickness on top of chemo nausea?

  87. pupruff

    Both funny and disturbing. And a little hot. Oh, I'm a sick puppy.

  88. Brandon

    I am SO happy I started to watch BSG, so I get this. I've only seen the Miniseries, and most of Season 1 though..

  89. awl

    According to the official podcast, the actors always assumed this as well.

  90. Dasha

    I'm a total geek for saying this, but slash is a subset of fanfic that deals with same-sex relatioships. So, you're not a repressed slash writer, but a repressed fanfic writer.

  91. Maddy

    I think they're both really hot! Mary McDonnell is such a gorgeous woman, even bald!

  92. Arielle

    So say we all!

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