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Where No Man Has Gotten Freaky Before

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November 19th, 2008

Where No Man Has Gotten Freaky Before

Future historians debate whether the T in James T. Kirk stood for Tiberius or Tap Dat Ass. I like to think that in a future utopia the latter would be true.

The trailer has me setting phasers to enthusiastic. I hope this movie accomplishes only two things. 1) It revitalizes a failing franchise that has been dissapointing long time fans for years and 2) Brings new Trekkies into the fold and ensures that generations to come will identify with the series and its characters.

25 min of Star Trek were screened. Here’s a review.
Here’s a blow by blow of the trailer. You can see the crazy tentacle sex space beast.
Another review of 4 scenes from a screening.

So what do you think? Please identify yourself as a Trekkie or non-Trekkie if you choose to weigh in.

Tags: captain kirk, geek comic, j.j. abrams, scifi, star trek, tentacles, webcomic

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Tags: captain kirk, geek comic, j.j. abrams, scifi, star trek, tentacles, webcomic

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 at 7:06 pm and is filed under Comics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

^ 747CommentsWhere+No+Man+Has+Gotten+Freaky+Before2008-11-20+00%3A06%3A27Joel

Kevin
November 20th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Is Kirk's uniform made of velour?
Don Pope
November 20th, 2008 at 1:24 am
That's a cool drawing of the "new" enterprise.
Mutant enemy
November 20th, 2008 at 1:31 am
None can resist the Zapper.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 1:58 am
With skin as soft as a velvet child.
Dram
November 20th, 2008 at 2:15 am
Really love the art on this one, particularly the genticles. Josh's hand movements are also hilarious.
Duder
November 20th, 2008 at 2:48 am
Yeah especially that last panel, looks like a tough one to draw.
Shakey
November 20th, 2008 at 3:09 am
My phaser is set to bone and I think I've leaked a little…the strip rocks too btw, but to say the strip rocks is to say the sky is above you
Tree-Vor
November 20th, 2008 at 4:05 am
I'm totally looking forward to this, though I'm still a little uneasy about some of the casting. One of my earliest memories is watching Star Trek TNG with my dad when I was 3, so yeah I'm a little bit of trekkie.
doug
November 20th, 2008 at 4:45 am
Mebbe the green-skinned thing Kirk is "sexing up" has just one eye. Or maybe it's Kif.
doug
November 20th, 2008 at 4:48 am
You can hardly tell when the velour ends (6 inches shy of modesty's demands) and the skin begins!
doug
November 20th, 2008 at 4:50 am
I haven't bothered looking yet, but somewhere someone must have a tally of how much space poon (great phrase) Kirk racked up in the 3 tv seasons.
doug
November 20th, 2008 at 4:54 am
I think you should add the tag "pre-condom vintage bareback pr0n" to this one. Panel 3 text is just perfect!
JayBee
November 20th, 2008 at 5:02 am
Why hasn't anyone said anything about the fact that the kid says his name is "James Siberius Kirk"? Its weird. I still cant wait to see the movie.
WinduSux
November 20th, 2008 at 5:36 am
JJ blows. He's making a mockery of everything that Trek was, trying to making it appealing to the masses. That's good business and Hollywood and its mindless masses will love him for it, but if the trailer is any indication, those of us who loved Trek for what is has always been will most likely refuse to acknowledge this piece of dung.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 6:23 am
Apparantly you arent the only one that heard that:

http://www.startrekmovie.com/forums/showthread.ph...

But its still supposed to be "Tiberius."
Tribble Lady
November 20th, 2008 at 6:37 am
I was so excited when I heard a new movie was coming out…even though I feared a Star Wars type prequel curse. The story idea was intriguing and I had hope. Then I heard somewhere the Abrams pretty much said he didn't care what the fans thought. Um…whole else but Trek fans tend to see these things? Also, from what little I've seen, it's all the crew meeting on the Enterprise. Or perhaps just before at the Academy. Doesn't follow the time line I know. Yes, I'm a purist. I'm a silly girl that's been following Trek since she was 6. I know things like Chekov doesn't show up until later seasons of TOS. I'm all for revitalizing the franchise but not redoing it as if the other stuff didn't exist. I fear this is a case of Abrams being too big for his britches and he'll do what he wants, ignore what came before and while he may get a few new fans, he'll cause generations of old ones to fall away. I hope I'm wrong. =(
Ppaz Naginnarb
November 20th, 2008 at 6:40 am
I didn't really get this comic strip, but its probably on account of my learning disorder, sexlexia.
Erin
November 20th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Wow, I thought I'd gotten over my whole Trek obsession when I was in college, but the music alone got me all excited. But….Orion slave girl? Really? That's just so cliche.
Joeyjoejoe
November 20th, 2008 at 6:54 am
http://www.khaaan.com/
Andrew
November 20th, 2008 at 6:58 am
In.

I used to love Trek but she used me, like Star Wars and so many others had before. Now she calls again, and… well I will go see this. It better not suck. Like most of the others whose titles do not rhyme with Bath of Phlan.
Hobbesie
November 20th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Absolutely love this one. Great pacing on Kirk's dialogue.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Thanks. I spent at least twice as much time on the last panel as the rest of the comic.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:38 am
"genticles"… that's awesome.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:40 am
I just checked and couldnt find a list. There is a hole in the internet that needs to be filled.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:41 am
Keep in mind that (other than fucking Enterprise) we havent seen an Orion slave girl since the 60's. As a Trekkie its hard to realize there are millions of people out there that need an "in" to the Trek universe. I think this movie will go a long way towards getting new kids to explore Trek.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:43 am
Be fair. Of the original trek moves, Wrath of Khan, Voyage Home, and Undiscovered country were awesome.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:43 am
maybe you just read it at the right pace…
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:44 am
If your nacelle is venting warp plasma, you're going to need to send a repair crew up there immediately before we have a core breach.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:45 am
I was 10 when I started watching TNG (11?) which I think is basically the perfect age to get into scifi. Just smart enough to get parts of the big picture but still dumb enough not to ask too many questions and ruin the magic.
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 7:46 am
I disagree. You can't fault him for making the franchise accessible to a new audience. Trek cant always just be our little secret. Its like the indie band that goes mainstream. You loved them first, but more people deserve to hear the music.
Carlo
November 20th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Hmmmm… velour.
Tribble Lady
November 20th, 2008 at 9:15 am
yeah, people deserve to have access to trek….but does that mean it's okay for him to do things like monkey with time lines and stories? those stories are why we like star trek. those silly little details are what keep a lot of fans hooked. i want new life breathed into the franchise and i want a new generation of fans, but i don't think he should be given free reign to totally disregard all that came before. that's where the bunch of suck comes into play.
WinduSux
November 20th, 2008 at 10:15 am
To use your indie band analogy, the difference between Roddenberry's Star Trek and JJ's "Trekformers" is like keeping a few of the musicians but changing the songs and the style, it's no longer the same band, and their fan-base is probably not the same.

To me this version of Trek is whoring out the original characters and plot lines just to make a few bucks. I don't know what franchise accountability there is going on here, but my guess is Roddenberry is turning in his grave.
doug
November 20th, 2008 at 11:36 am
And James T. Kirk is just the man to fill it!
Chris Fairfield
November 20th, 2008 at 11:37 am
I've been a Star Trek fan since since I was around 8. I just sort of caught TNG once and was hooked. I was really, really into it, Learning how to speak Klingon in the sixth grade, going to conventions, starting a fan club. But somewhere around Season 3 of Voyage I just sort of stopped watching. I still watched the Movies when they came out and even half-heartedly rented the first two discs of Enterprise, thinking I would work my way through the seasons. But I didn't.

This, however, has me really excited. More excited than I've been about a Trek anything since 1998. I love the idea of a reboot and, honestly, don't even see the need to shoehorn it into the canonical timeline. Lots of shows, franchises and movies do this to great effect (see BSG, the new Bond, the new Batman, for example). and I don't subscribe to the notion that Star Trek is somehow holier or more sacred than that. The movie looks like Star Trek and, maybe more importantly, it looks fun as hell.
KravStorm
November 20th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Oh my god, this is so amazing. I am truly speachless!
Dave
November 20th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I'm hearing Zapp Brannigan do the dialogue for the middle panel…
hijinksensue
November 20th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
So was I.
Mysterioustree
November 21st, 2008 at 4:03 am
With….with his penis?
doug
November 21st, 2008 at 4:39 am
Or his hammer.
Kyochan
November 21st, 2008 at 11:12 am
I'm not a Trekkie (I was raised in the wild, aka, with technophobes) but I now live with three Trekkies. I'm being converted slowly. VERY slowly. We will probably end up seeing this movie.
Surge
November 21st, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Other then the fact that ships like the Enterprise are built in space in the Star Trek universe (since they are not made to lift off or land on planets), it looks cool.
Shakey
November 21st, 2008 at 12:27 pm
If Roddenberry is doing any grave-spinning, it's because of Rick Berman and Brannon Braga and that abortion of a show Enterprise (which finished off the nosedive that started with Voyager). THAT was whoring out the Trek franchise and pretty much destroyed any semblance of canon and credibility.

Having read a number of interviews with JJ, Pine and Quinto, it seems very clear to me that they're all attempting to revive a lot of what made TOS great, right down to the primary colour uniforms, sewn-in Star Fleet badges and that wonderful mix of slightly camp with the tense, unknown frontier, the warp-speed Love Machine that was Kirk, the beautifully conflicted Spock.

Again with the indie band analogy: who cares how much money they make and how much they grow if their soul remains the same? If JJ can rekindle the Trek soul then who cares that this origin story breaks canon? (and screw canon - all Trek writers have been for years).

Frankly, you're welcome to the franchise as it stands. I'm looking forward to this and what I hope will be JJ's Trek resurrection - if anybody can breathe life back into her it's JJ.
Shakey
November 21st, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I couldn't agree more…why bother to shoehorn it in to a timeline that's already been shattered by the Trek writers themselves? It was broken long before JJ showed up.

This movie is not canon. It's a NEW canon.
Shakey
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:51 am
Voyager was built to land, and it some odd way that's the only bit of the entire show I had no issue with.

Who's to say that ships aren't constructed partly on earth but the really heavy bits like warp drives aren't attached in space? It would be cheaper to build the structurals on Earth where the workers can come and go and then have the specialists in space waiting.
Dave
November 27th, 2008 at 9:40 am
I'm pretty sure the music is actually from the movie "Gladiator."
xJane
December 8th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Major Trekkie: I think that you're right, the franchise has no where to go but up, but that it's being done the wrong way. The only people who will go to see a Star Trek movie are Star Trek fans ™. If the history is re-written, Star Trek fans will be alienated and Star Trek fans won't go to see it. I don't see how this will be a win for anyone involved ('cept the people who have already been paid & don't have to worry about residuals). I'll still go see it, but from what I've already seen/heard, I'm preparing for disappointment.
Cactuscat
January 5th, 2009 at 6:10 am
Parts of me worry… Motorcycles, Constitution Class starships built on the ground, Sylar as a Vulcan…

But then I saw the trailer where the welders are building the ship and Nimoy rasps out "Space, the final frontier…" and I went all squidgy and squeed and all was right with the world. Although my wife and child looked at me like I'd lost my mind when the actual sound "SQUEE!" came out of my mouth…

No, this isn't gonna be your Momma's Star Trek. Yes, they're going to get some things "wrong" for the sake of plot condensation and just because that's what they needed to make their story work. But after what Berman and Braga did to the franchise and after the cinematic abortion that was Nemesis, can Star Trek honestly be any worse?

In my opinion there's almost nowhere for the series to go but up. So I'm gonna trust JJ to do right by us old-school Trekkies and waited in eager anticipation for the film to hit theaters.
davey
February 17th, 2009 at 10:31 am
genticles! from the futu movie! hahahahahaha those arent tentacles, there GENTICLES!!!! hahahahahahahahahah

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