COMIC & BLOG
iTUNES FEED
EMAIL JOEL
All We Wanna Do Is Eat Your Brains
I hope Eli washed that bowl beforehand.
Heroes season 3 premiered this week. I don’t even know where to begin. Season 1 showed so much promise. Season 2 swerved directly into oncoming traffic, collided with a bus full of legless orphaned nuns, each holding a kitten and exploded into a fireball of fail that could be seen from space. Despite that I was hopeful. I blamed the mediocrity on the writer’s strike. Now I’m convinced the writers were striking to PREVENT future episodes of Heroes.
I said before that most elements of Heroes are directly lifted from the X-Men franchise, and that creator Tim Kring exists only to make soft cuddly puppies cheat on their spouses, but the heights of plagerism reached in the first two episodes of Heroes season 3 were nearly immeasurable.
- Within the first 2 min the plot becomes “Days of Future Past” (thanks BB), right down to the assasination attempt on a senator, the future traveler that must stop the apocalypse, hell I think Wolverine was in this episode
- One of the new villains basically has Bishop’s power
- One of the new villains IS MAGNETO! A guy that controls magnetism called “The German“? Are you just fucking with us now? Is there a guy that shoots lasers out of his eyes called “Pussy Scott”?
- And, despite this not being an X-Men ripoff, Mohinder starred in what was basically a condensed shot for shot remake of Jeff Goldblum’s “The Fly.” God, I could break it down into further analysis but what’s the point. Go rent “The Fly” and then watch that sequence with “Mohinder-Fly.” Do they think scifi fans are going to be impressed that they just lift ideas from movies and TV we already know?
And the writing. Sweet shit in a bisquit was it terrible. Josh has been telling me this since season 2, but I didn’t listen. He’s almost always wrong about everything! How am I supposed to gauge when he’s right? regardless I’m going to keep watching… because it’s my job. There, I said it.
Tags: comic books, heroes, josh dies, super heroes, super powers, tim kring, tv
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September 24th, 2008 at 4:04 am
NEWS FLASH.
First (double) episode of Heroes I've honestly enjoyed since season 1. I'm pretty sure it was the lobotomy that did it though. After mad lol'ing my way through the terribly acted opening sequence I just shut my brain off entirely and watched superheroes do sparkly shit. Who cares that Claire actually stopped Sylar with a flimsy pantry door? Who cares that Future-Peter can warp Psycop all the way to Africa but gets caught retrieving a gun he shouldn't have left in the first place? Who cares that Hiro could have gone back in time to get his half of the recipe back? Who cares if Annoying Indian Narrator's character did something AMAZINGLY against his own personality. Who fucking cares at all anymore. At least the effect of speedy chick was neat.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:58 am
WOO! Josh dies! *takes a shot of tequila… while at work*
PS: Project Runway is awesome! It's just like American Idol–only the whiny no-talent singers are replaced with whiny no-talent would-be designers who make hideous clothes. And it's actually ENJOYABLE to watch.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:00 am
"My name is Tim Kring. I don't read comic books, so how can you say I've stolen any ideas? Besides, this is a character driven drama, not an effects show."
September 24th, 2008 at 4:04 am
Agreed. The premier was ridiculous, with even more in-show sponsor whoring than usual! We should also start keeping a tally on how many times each character dies and is brought back to life.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Exactly! I couldnt put it any better. Somehow I still enjoyed it though. During the mohinder-fly scenes they looked like a very tan Jeff Goldblum and Gina Davis.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:24 am
I love how happily content Josh looks with his cereal and then in the next panel, dead…. haha I just caught that Eli took his cereal.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:31 am
Took his cereal and dumped it into the top of Josh's skull (!)
September 24th, 2008 at 4:37 am
Dude how did I miss that! brutal
September 24th, 2008 at 4:43 am
I laughed my ass off when the African dude said that he should have went with sprint because he had no signal
September 24th, 2008 at 4:46 am
I still enjoy it for those "Are you going to eat my brains?" moments.
September 24th, 2008 at 4:49 am
NISSAN VERSA!!
(The shameless advertising has been there since the beginning, and it's always been this bad or worse.)
September 24th, 2008 at 4:52 am
"Dad! I can't believe you got me a Nissan Rogue!"
September 24th, 2008 at 4:52 am
Yeah, I missed that. It also doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Like Heroes!
September 24th, 2008 at 4:55 am
It actually looks like buttered popcorn… which for some reason, sounds like an even more disgusting concept to eat out of the top of Josh's head than cereal does.
September 24th, 2008 at 5:11 am
heh, head-bowl!
September 24th, 2008 at 7:09 am
That's one of those questions, like "what's so wrong with skull-fucking dead children?" that rather than try to answer, I'm just going to back away slowly and avoid eye contact.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:11 am
You forgot Nathan Petrelli's latest incarnation. Near-death experience, blitherings about God's plan, hallucinatory pal…he's become Baltar!
September 24th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Which, coincidentally, is why I still enjoy HE.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Hiro's new storyline is a stereotypical anime.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:28 am
I never got into Heroes, it was always a show with 'IMMINENT FAIL' scrawled across it in bold-type, to me. Same can be said for Lost… *puts flame-suit on*
September 25th, 2008 at 7:31 am
I thought this was meant to be X-Men the soap. Stan Lee did a cameo in the first season. Nothing says Marvel comic book adaptation than a Stan Lee cameo. I'm surprised he hasn't written a 'Stan Lee' comic, got that made into a film, then cameo'd in that film. But not as himself, natch. Sounds like a film Kevin Smith would make.
September 24th, 2008 at 7:47 am
I don't think I've ever not enjoyed an HE strip, but this is probably the single bestest one EVAR.
Oh, and just in case Pork "Josh" Consumer didn't see the post at the Shack that linked this:
http://blogs.taunton.com/n/blogs/blog.aspx?nav=ma...
September 24th, 2008 at 8:08 am
I saw the whole thing with sylar scalping the cheerleader. It made me think of that Johnathan Coulton song too
September 25th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Seconded. Do we have a running tally? Or is Josh the new Kenny, and the shock value has worn off?
September 25th, 2008 at 8:18 am
So, speaking of funny Sylar impressions, anyone see the Robot Chicken Sylar skit, with him taking grampa's 'moving thumb' trick, but accidentally also getting his explosive diarrhea?
September 25th, 2008 at 9:33 am
By my count, there are eleven comics with the "Josh dies" tag, but I have a feeling there are a lot more untagged.
September 24th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Bears and cereal. It's a match that happens worldwide.
September 24th, 2008 at 10:30 am
I like this comic and all, but…it's *missing* something…in the third panel…like, right in the area above Eli's head. [/insidejoke]
September 24th, 2008 at 10:39 am
There seems to be some divide between those (like me) who think watching Project Runway is a grand idea, and those who want to run screaming from the room.
Can't quite put my finger on the point of divide, though…
September 24th, 2008 at 10:39 am
I think you need a new tag of "Joel Kills Josh."
September 24th, 2008 at 10:49 am
Love that Joel doesn't get the "just don't watch it" concept (e.g., Heroes, Smallville).
Also love HeadBowl(TM). Has a very Zippy-ish ring to it: HeadBowlHeadBowlHeadBowlHeadBowlHeadBowlHeadBowl
September 25th, 2008 at 11:07 am
I wish I had Sprint so my cell phone would work out here in the African Desert
September 25th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Yeah he doesnt read comic books, but his writers most certainly do.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:12 am
This is why you cant be trusted.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am
"We could have gotten away… if only I had put reliable BF Goodrich tires on the car. Im so sorry Claire."
September 25th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Ah-HA! But you see… no it doesnt.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:15 am
Thats what I said during Season 2 but now "enjoy" is too strong of a word. "Tolerate" might be pushing it.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:16 am
hahahahahah
September 25th, 2008 at 11:16 am
according to Josh, nothing.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am
at first i thought he was Spider-Mohinder, but then they started reading the script and stage directions from the Fly. Not to mention the bug sounds in the background. Heroes is so subtle that way.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:18 am
I like how he keeps that shit up even after realizing it was "ghost-linderman" that healed him.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Oddly enough, Heroes was made as a direct response to Lost. Sort of a scifi "me too!"
September 25th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Cereal is at the top of the food pyramid.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Some would say its a choice or a learned behavior. I think its genetic. Theres a Project Runway Gene.
September 25th, 2008 at 11:25 am
I DONT LOVE that I dont get that concept in real life. Im like those turtles that mate for life.
September 25th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Parts of the writing were a little off, but I still love Heroes. Mohinder's "evolution" scene was like The Fly, The Hulk, and Spider-Man all in one. Despite the blatant rip-offs, I'm still interested to see where his powers go.
September 25th, 2008 at 1:24 am
It's the fabulous (started to type "fagulous" – ha!) rainbow-colored gene.
With great shoes.
September 25th, 2008 at 1:26 am
That's good for your family; bad for your TV viewing.
Though I do find that I'll be watching something, thinking how awful it is, and it still takes a while before I decide to turn the junk off.
September 25th, 2008 at 1:59 am
lol, I laughed at that comment almost as much as the comic. I heart you. In a non-gay way. I don't watch Project Runway.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:04 am
like an unfinished hojo.
the answer is love.
September 25th, 2008 at 2:07 am
But I always took Mohinder as like, an outside participant to all this craziness. Now that he has powers, I just hope he gets shot in the face.
September 25th, 2008 at 3:26 am
Oh God, now I'm picturing Joel mating with Smallville. Oh god…
September 25th, 2008 at 3:28 am
I bet Josh's brain smells like bacon.
September 25th, 2008 at 4:43 am
I forgot about Claire's car! I always expected the theft of it to tie back into the storyline somehow. Maybe that Irish chick Caitlyn stole it.
September 25th, 2008 at 5:09 am
I would actually suggest that you only watch Heroes up to the second-to-last episode of season 1. Instead of watching the finale, just try to think of something that isn't completely anticlimactic.
September 24th, 2008 at 6:05 am
… *shifts nervously*… uhm… if I were to tell you that I've never seen Heroes, although it's on my list of shows to buy at some point (along with Battlestar Galactica and the rest of Farscape) would I be permanently shunned and/or stoned to death?
September 24th, 2008 at 6:07 am
And just WHAT may I ask is wrong with Project Runway?!
September 24th, 2008 at 6:10 am
To keep the X-Men references, I would say Mohinder is probably going to end up like Beast.
September 24th, 2008 at 6:37 am
No way. Watch BSG first (its free online), then watch Season 1 of Heroes, then stop. forever.
September 26th, 2008 at 8:16 am
They DID work it back into the story. When Maya and Alejandro were running from the Mexican police and Alejandro got caught and put in jail, and she broke him and his cell-neighbor out, the white guy said he had a car. It was Claire's car. Maya asked him if he was from California because it had CA plates.
September 25th, 2008 at 8:25 am
fucking christ, how did I miss this?
September 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am
I saw it. It made me lol, but not too much.
September 26th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I am scared…. I bought season 1 about a month ago and started watching it… LOVED IT!… watching season 2 now… about 3 to 5 episodes in… its kind of "meh"… but now I'm seeing people who have watched the season 3 premier… and nobody likes it… I sure hope I like it… or that it improves… either/or
September 26th, 2008 at 10:19 am
I completely missed that. What a needlessly elaborate and pointless 'coincidence' to throw in there!
September 26th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Oh, it wasn't all roflmao in my bed, but it was along the same idea here as the comic
Was bringing it up for topical relevance heh
September 26th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
It used to be that heroes stole things and executed them appealingly(is that a word – it is now). Now they execute them with a 45 to the head. My wife and I were WTFing the whole ep and when i wasn;t looking for the adapted from a comic credit, I was weeping tears of acid.
September 26th, 2008 at 1:13 am
I read unfinished banjo. I now humbly request you change your post to reflect this.
September 26th, 2008 at 4:24 am
i was pausing it every 5 minutes and telling my wife what particular plot device or character they were lifting at the moment.
September 26th, 2008 at 5:03 am
man, three seasons and they're still using the same plot. surely the writers realize there are more stories out there than "guy from the future goes back in time to stop a disaster," right?
September 26th, 2008 at 6:42 am
After dutifully accompanying me to many a comic-book movie (she still hasn't forgiven me for Superman Returns), my wife is getting pretty good at spotting rip-offs now. Mind you, you only had to watch the X-Men trilogy once to pretty much suss out Heroes.
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:24 am
I DVR'd (yeah, I said it…I'm one of those people who refuse to give TIVO the "Kleenex"-brand-like respect the rest of the world thinks it deserves) the first episode of the new season of heroes and actually stopped it after the first episode and went and did something else. I think I read a book, or ate some fruit. Eventually I watched the second half, but the whole "hey look, Claire can't die" nonsense was just the final straw. I wish (Lost) shows had the balls (Lost) to kill prominent cast members (Lost) after we've gotten attached to them (Lost). Really keeps you believing that anything could happen next
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I don't think Heroes is ever going to catch that lightning-in-a-bottle that made the first season so great. However
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Yeah, usually they don't make product placement *that* obvious.
August 23rd, 2010 at 4:02 am
Anyone else notice he's eating the cereal out of the top part of Josh's head?
Hilarious