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Who Snooches The Noochmen?
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I’m making it my mission to infiltrate this underground ring of original creator-made comic book smut. I’ll first set my sites on Joss Whedon and work my way to Warren Ellis.
Let me separate comic Joel from real life Joel for a minute and state that I am VERY enthusiastic about “Watchmen” movie and I’m sure it will kick all sorts of kickassery. It just makes for better funny-ha-ha in the comic when I hate everything Josh and Eli love. I want to be clear that I am not actually like this. I REALLY only hate everything Josh loves. Big difference.
All that said, Kevin Smith is probably not the person you want to hinge your “should I see Watchmen” decision on. I’m sure the guy running the screening had to ask Mr. Smith to pull his pants up several times during the film. Hell, if it IS 3 hours long you might need to rub one out just to make it through the whole thing.
In case you aren’t keeping up with Fox’s lawsuit to stop the March ‘09 release of “Watchmen” (remember, FOX must destroy happiness wherever it finds it in order to satiate Rupert Murdoch’s nearly unquenchable thirst for geek sorrow) here are a few links to get you up to speed:
Make no mistake that FOX has no intention of actually preventing “Watchmen” from being released. They just want a taste of that sweet sweet cash candy that the film is certain to generate. FOX is just exercising their legal right to soullessness.
Regarding the lack of a Monday comic due to my shoulder/neck/back injury: I can’t promise anything yet, but I am going to try to do 2 more comics this week to make up for it. That’s either means new HE’s on Thurday and Friday or Friday and Saturday.
Regarding the 3 panel layout in today’s comic: I was trying something new but I actually found it pretty limiting space-wise. It forced me to make some script and graphic decisions I wasn’t happy with, so don’t expect to see too much of it in the future.
Tags: alan moore, comic books, fantastic 4, kevin smith, movies, stan lee, watchmen
August 27th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Stan Lee presents the SeX-Men! Featuring The seX-Man Beast! "I'm not ALL blue and furry."
August 27th, 2008 at 8:26 am
Not that I mind – the man is living comics history. If Jack Kirby was alive, or Siegel and Schuster, if Ditko wasn't a crazy Ayn Rand-worshipping recluse, I'd want to see them cameo in movies too. Let the man cash in; he's earned it.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Oh yes he is, and it's glorious!
August 27th, 2008 at 9:04 am
FOX is whiny as hell. "Meh, we coulda done it, but now you're doing it, and we wanted to do it…we were just gonna wait a few years, maybe…waaaaah!"
August 27th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I'd say Rule 34 already is tempered with the ironcladness of Rule 35: if there is no porn of it on the internet, porn MUST be created.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Doctor Manhattan is cured of his "blue-balls" and returns to an adequately squishy-pink existence. -Though is still thoroughly insufferable. I wonder if they'll show Billy Crudup's wang being all subatomic and metaphysical?
August 27th, 2008 at 11:06 am
From what I've seen in the trailers they have exorcised Dr. Manhattans wang. He walks around naked but wangless. Thinking about this I have to wonder how they'll handle the part where doc manhattan is getting it on with lady chick while at the same time doing science. I bet they pull that scene out.
August 27th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Since he apparently won't be able to.
August 27th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Oh, the wang is there – you can see it in the trailer, when they show him reforming after his initial accident.
Um, not that I was looking. I mean, I was looking, or I wouldn't have seen it, but it was out of curiosity whether they would include it. Or not. Er.
And the trailer included the shot of the multiple Manhattans reuniting; wasn't that just after Laurie (the, ahem, "lady chick") caught him out?
August 27th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
I believe that Jay and Silent Bob should have reviewed the movie
August 27th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Canon slash? Would this make Rule 34 stronger, or just cause it to implode?
August 27th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
"canon slash" is the term I was struggling to come up with. that's perfect.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I'm sure an "enlargement" request- brought on by self-consciousness, naturally- came through to the CGI folks at some point.
…I mean, what guy WOULDN'T want to make his own "Manhattan Project" larger for the big screen?
August 27th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Friggin' Laurie. -Like she'd ever quit her bitchin' long enough to put the bump on that pickle. I can think of one thing he might have done with it that would have made for a far easier read. -Not that she wouldn't have a found another way to whine her way all over the damn page.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:29 am
doesn't excelsior mean "Ever Higher"?
August 27th, 2008 at 1:34 am
It's a Stan Lee joke. That's his catch phrase.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:49 am
Two bongs up. I am the clit commander!
August 27th, 2008 at 3:48 am
I thought his catchcry was 'put me in a cameo in any vaguely comic related shit you got on air! Cheque clears, I'll do it!
August 27th, 2008 at 4:26 am
Goddamn I love this book. As soon as I saw the trailer I sorted through about 6 or 7 dusty boxes in the dingiest part of my dingy abode in order to find my old copy. This failed miserably so I purchased one from the Amazon, it came a week ago, I'm currently up to chapter 3 and re-loving it…
August 27th, 2008 at 8:33 am
Liked both the comic and the difference between RealJoel and ComicJoel.
Slashjinks Ensue might be a big seller in the store…
August 27th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Joel I must now woodburn "kick all sorts of kickassery" into the virgin particle board of my computer cart.. It is too divine.
You see what you've done to me!
August 27th, 2008 at 10:01 am
The trailer for Watchmen at The Dark Knight both intrigued me and confused me. I'll probably pick up the graphic novel before I see the movie so I can understand WTF is going on.
August 28th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
On a semi-related note, inspired by the TFAW ad on the left and a few other people I've run across in my travels:
*ahem*
The title of the book is WATCHMEN. Note the lack of a "the." It's not "The Watchmen," it's just "Watchmen." It's been around for twenty years now, so don't let's start fucking it up now.
August 28th, 2008 at 7:01 am
Say-wha? I thought it was, "The Swatchmen."
They fought crime with wicked-awesome vinyl watches and bad-ass hair-cuts.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
you lost your original? that sucks.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
According to accepted X-Man slash, he IS AL BLUE AND FURRY. Everywhere.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 am
Im sure they were relieved since they had no intention of undertaking the project.
"HEY! Now we can sue and get some free money!"
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:44 am
i thought "josh" posted this. A) because of the name and b) he would totally say that.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:44 am
Let me just throw this out there, but I WILL draw any of my characters having sex with ANYTHING for $$$!
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
careful, that IKEA furniture is flammable.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
That might be the reverse order from what Ive heard. Maybe better to see the movie, then read the book to see what they left out.
September 3rd, 2008 at 7:15 am
Is more sexy or more "ewww" if this Fanastic4Way has sibling action? Or is the Human Torch just supposed to be there for the boy on boy with the Thing and Mr. Fantastic?
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:08 am
The original draft said "and can her lady business be fire proof?!"
I should have run with that.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
rat tails and lighting tracks for all!