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Survival of The Crispiest
One might contend that the gas tank is actually still filled with gasoline and Eli, after a long day of replacing a car engine with a deep fryer and drinking, just doesn’t realize. A sure fire indicator would be if his esophogus liquified.
“Death Race” seems like the kind of movie you could really enjoy if you’d just drank 16 gallons of beer through a tube. Dumb explodey fun. I’m going to go ahead and call this whole genre “Carsplode!“. I assume I’ll eventually see it the same way I see all Carsplode! movies starring Jason Statham, halfwatching it on TNT on a Sunday afternoon while I’m working.
Director Paul W.S. Anderson has decided that he’s ’sploded cars so superbly and so “to the max” in “Death Race” that he can’t ever top it in terms of killing cars on film, so he’s decided not to make “Spy Hunter.” As long as we’re thinking of adapting arcade car games to films, how about “San Francisco Rush 2049“? That game kicked ass.
Links:
- Death Race Filmed By Running Cameras Over
- Some AICN Guy Wasn’t Impressed (shocker)
- Death Race is Car Porn
CASTCAST and FANCY BASTARD SHITTY MOVIE NIGHT LIVE THING REMINDER!!!
He Podcast Castcast will stream live starting around 4pm central Saturday and the Shitty movie night stream will start afterwards. Read more here.
New Early Character Sketches in The Vault. See what the HE crew could have looked like!
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August 25th, 2008 at 9:03 am
There's always "Oz" for that, too.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:51 am
No, not at all. I love seeing 'sploding stuff and car chases as much as any guy–but this movie (mind you, this is mostly based on my opinion of the previews) seems to have a threadbare plot (if one at all) and is chockablock full of cliches.
*Shrugs*
I've been kinda jaded on the whole action movie genre since Wanted.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I strongly suggest the Cup holder from Mini Fini. How does BMW make a car WITHOUT usable cup holders?
August 27th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
In nomini patri et filli et techron sanctum.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
My next car is either going to be a hybrid or a murder car. Both get excellent mileage.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
wait wait. You have to be straight to appreciate wanton automobile based violence?
August 27th, 2008 at 5:47 am
Believe it or not, it's just a single-hamburger-at-a-time cooker. The 70s were a wild time.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Maybe its like the car Murderface got for his birthday: the Dethcar.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Man, that's just smart. I only thought about doing the pulley, intake and exhaust mods for my Mini, but a deep fryer… I bet you could get like 200 wings per mile!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
So basically Running Man on wheels… Driving Man?
The Bank Job wasn't bad, in so far a Statham wasn't a ninja.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
*in so far as*
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Statham was great in the first Transporter. The second one was shit. But he still drives pretty.
And reading this comic I kept thinking "Eli likey! Eli want wingey!" in sort of a mexican Chris Farley voice.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Lets start with 50 wings, extra hot. And keep the ranch coming.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
So you saw the trailer, then. But did you watch the EXCLUSIVE RESTRICTED CLIP yet?
It's very RESTRICTED. I'd even go so far as to call it X-TREMELY RESTRICTED.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
It's the Presto Mini FryBaby! Only slightly smaller than the tabletop version. And it goes perfectly with your PrestoBurger one-at-a-time burger maker!
http://www.gopresto.com/information/history.php
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
By the way, the Mini in the strip actually looks supersweet. How'd you do it? Drawing from scratch, or used a tool to vectorize (?) a picture?
(I have no idea if "vectorizing" is the right term. Damn you kids and your fancy painting doodads. Back in my days we had only crayons! For lunch.)
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thanks! I drew it from a couple of reference photos. If you like you can tell people I holomatronified it.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I would be willing to give this movie a chance, if it wasn't trying to pass itself off as a remake. If it ain't got points for running over pedestrians…IT AIN'T DEATH RACE.
Plus, trashing the original at Comic-Con? Not cool, Paul W.S. Anderson, not cool.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
No pedestrian points? Gaaaah! What was great social (and media, and political) satire will now BE the gratuitous numbing entertainment the original movie was working against!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
It's getting to where I hate Paul W.S. Anderson almost as much as I hate Paul Thomas Anderson.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
So in our area the gasoline gets diluted with 10% ethanol, and flex-fuel vehicles can run on a gasoline mixture that is 85% ethanol. I don't know if that's common in other places as well.
What you may not have known is that ethanol is grain alcohol, the kind of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages. So Eli's beer fueled vehicle is the solution to removing our dependency on foreign oil. For this discovery he will no doubt win the Nobel Prize.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Would it really be maximum evil viscosity though? I mean- viscous demons in the engine sounds suspiciously similar to that "sludge" thing that valvoline is always commercialing about. Wait. Is valvoline actually some kind of secret vatican offshoot?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I liked Boogie Nights. Haven't (yet) seen There Will Be Pop-Tarts.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Joel… always the cynic!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The terminology "murder car" tickles me in all the best places inside my brain.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
"For lunch." lol +1
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
We (around the Portland, OR quadrant) also have the 85% ethanol mixture. I didn't realize it was made of grain alcohol. I only hope that word about that doesn't get around too much; we have enough drunk rednecks driving around as it is.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Ah, Darwin (and the 15% of the mixture, which is still gasoline) will take care of them.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Yeah, Boogie Nights was great, but Magnolia was so frakkin' self-indulgent it put me right off him. As for Paul W.S., I thought the first Mortal Kombat movie was perfectly enjoyable, as such things go, but what about that qualifies him to make Alien Vs. Predator?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
But how does it compare to Death Bed, The Bed That Eats People?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Thank you! I try to avoid mentioning Magnolia since most folks seem to like it, but I thought it was the worst 3.25 hrs of my life. Any movie that can make Julianne Moore a bad actress has serious problems.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I've seen previews for Death Race in quite a few of my summer movie trailers. At best, I'm skeptical about the movie. Its like The Fast and the Furious mixed with Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
I think the reason for my uncertain feelings towards this movie is because it has almost zero gay appeal. Hmm.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
"it has almost zero gay appeal. Hmm."
Doesn't it take place in a prison?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Hence the "almost".
June 21st, 2009 at 10:09 am
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