Josh Smash!
Buy a Signed Print of This HijiNKS Ensue Comic
June 20th, 2008

Josh Smash!

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I’ve spent the last 3 days or so working non stop on “The Vault of Secret Awesome.” At one point today I said, “wait… I actually have to make the comics or there won’t be any comics.” Let me tell you, this job would be easy if it weren’t for all the comics. I could just sit back and collect delicious internet monies. So delicious.

This comic is as close as I can get to talking about “The Incredible Hulk” since I haven’t seen it yet. Granted, that has never stopped me before, but I actually plan to see this one. Eli says it’s pretty good. Regarding Josh’s pigmentation,  I suppose the hyper-gravy-ation turns the skin green. Why not?

In real life Josh has an “in” with a Popeye’s chicken employee that owe’s him a life debt. Much like Angel and his butcher friend, Josh sneaks in the back of the restaurant and Hector loads him up with life giving gravy… and probably some pig’s blood too.

My comment challenge to you: what else might one order off the menu at “Cluck-U-Chicken“?

(Thanks for your patience with the late comics and such while I’m getting the foundation poured for this webcomic empire. Your comments and emails of support are extremely helpful.)

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^ 92 Comments...

  1. Tommy

    Cluck-Me-Running is the "leg and thigh" combo.

  2. hijinksensu5337

    I was waiting for a "mother clucker combo" or something.

  3. hijinksensu5337

    LOL. unclucked.

  4. hijinksensu5337

    Thats real?

  5. hijinksensu5337

    Oh I spoke too soon. Theres the mother clucker I was waiting for.

  6. hijinksensu5337

    Its permeated his cell membranes.

  7. larnsturt6109

    I really don't know just WHY they are so good. It's just biscuit + chicken = amaxing

    No, that's not a typo. The Chick-Fil-A chicken biscuit is so good, it needs new words to describe it. Amazing to the max. Amaxing.

  8. larnsturt6109

    I demand whole kernels of corn in my cluck puppies! Whole, I tell you!

  9. f__k9067

    Just remember to get some Clucking Eggs with your breakfast combo. I suggest scrambled "Cluster Cluck" style. They are un-clucking-believable.

    Personally I also think a good Cock Sucker vanilla pudding pop after my meal is egg-clucking-zactly what is needed after a every clucking meal with the whole clucking family.

  10. tindomiel30091

    They'd tell you it's because that biscuit has been blessed by Jeebus: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick-fil-A#Religiou...

  11. brandon6664

    For a Family Clucking time, come down to Cluck-U-Chicken. You fuck it, we'll cluck it.

    (Sorry haven't posted in awhile.)

  12. aj5558

    Leave it to me to take the ONE answer you were waiting for. Damn my clucking useless mind.

  13. aj5558

    Is it wrong that I think he looks kinda sexy all green'd up?

  14. doug5364

    <elvis>Thank you. Thank you very much.</elvis>

  15. doug5364

    Naaaaaaah! Post won't do; with Josh, the paint's gotta be real:
    http://hijinksensue.com/2007/08/31/the-kratos-cos...

  16. doug5364

    Fancy Bastard
    Filled up with gravy now
    Turned into the Josh!
    (Ain’t he bright green–and how!)
    Wreckin’ the town
    With the power of a bull.
    Ain’t no monster clown–
    Who is as lovable
    as ever lovin’ Josh? JOSH! JOSH!

    Here's the tune:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj26N10Ymlg

  17. doug5364

    Sexy Green Josh FTW!

    Since there are Orion slave girls on Trek, there must be green slave boys, too, right? "They're like animals. Vicious. Seductive. They say no human male can resist them." Yowza!

  18. doug5364

    You're just never satisfied, are you?!
    :-)

  19. doug5364

    Nice!

  20. doug5364

    I think for this thread at least, you should change your username to cl__k.

  21. doug5364

    And for the "My Fair Lady" fans:

    "Aow so loverly sittin' abso-cluckin'-lutely still!/I would never budge 'till spring/Crept over me windowsill."

  22. diel

    Dans le veine, mère clucker!

  23. aj5558

    I will deny any implied insatiability in your comment on the grounds of… stuff.

  24. aj5558

    Well, 10% of the human male population anyway. :p

  25. rerun7088

    We have a winner!

  26. kertap7769

    I'm fairly partial to the cluck bucket, which contains 4 breast clucks and 4 hot thighs….

    Sorry about that I've been trying to make that work since friday.

  27. Paco

    http://www.cluckinbellhappychicken.com/
    Apparently they made a site for it. maybe for GTA 4? I still don't have a ps3 *hangs head in wanting shame*

  28. sean5359

    I'll have the Giant Cluck-off Meal…with a side of chol-extra-ol.

  29. greg2point08547

    That looks more like a gravy barrel.

  30. greg2point08547

    What's the vegetarian menu at Cluck-U-Chicken look like?

  31. diel

    "I've had it with these mother clucking vegans at this mother clucking place!"

  32. web_diversi6473

    I was thinking the exact same thing. Have a cluckin' good day!

  33. orclev5734

    The Hulk was indeed awesome. Not quite Ironman awesome, but considering what they had to work with, very awesome indeed. They get bonus points for the homages they paid both to the comic and the TV series at various points in the movie. Also, they are totally setting up for an Avengers movie which makes me both happy and very scared at the same time. Happy because it would be cool to see all of them together, but scared because it would mean a movie version of Captain America, who I'm pretty sure it's impossible to make a good version of. Then again I could be wrong, I didn't expect the hulk to be nearly as good as it was.

  34. iptydafu8334

    A Bucket o' Peckers, doy.

  35. Arcys

    You can do anything as long as I get a ride in your solid gold Porsche.

  36. fraktruck8125

    the Cluckin-balls are just lovely with a side of cluck-cluck-cream

  37. john_darc6624

    I love that Josh has a gravy tub.

  38. aaron6928

    Popeye's is why I will die at 40 with happily clogged arteries.

  39. kravstorm20471

    Cluckin-gizzards with a side of cluck-cluck beaks and feet (extra toe-nail clippings! They make for a nice crunch!!!)

  40. Sean

    I'd turn green too if I ate 5 gallons of gravy. But then again, if I were the Cluck-U-Chicken employee and some asked me for 5 gal of gravy I'd tell them to… cluck off and die!

  41. Thomas

    Give the perfect gift with the Cluckin-Buck Cluck-U-Chicken* super mega gift card!

    *WARNING: May cause death.

  42. larnsturt6109

    If they're chicken biscuits are half as good as Chick-Fil-A's, HOT DAMN I'm all about some.

  43. troy6626

    I'll take a Cock and Balls Basket, please. I'll take some white gravy for the chicken, and make sure the hush puppies are extra salty and greasy so they explode in my mouth. Yum!

  44. dram10661

    I'll take a dick.

  45. mysterioust5403

    Does the IV have gravy in it?

  46. Ari D

    Go-Cluck-Yourself is the buffet they set up every day between 1pm and 5pm

  47. doug5364

    I'll take an order of the Finger Clucks with the Clucking Hot Mustard dripping sauce with an extra thick Chocolate Frosty Cluck to drink.

  48. doug5364

    Don't you mean "Cluck Puppies"?

  49. doug5364

    Dram wins for subtlety!

  50. doug5364

    And green Josh FTW by the way. I fully expect to see him painted for the next livecast castcast.

  51. rerun7088

    Grab some eat in and get clucked here or, alternatively, order take-away and go home and cluck your mother…

  52. Nick

    So for a slogan there's the variation on the Kentucky Freud Chicken joke 'It's mother-clucking good.' For a more refined (or a "the rest of Europe stole all our clucking-hens, and now we gotta eat this clucking-coq") palate "Cluq au vin."

    Personally, I recommend the "Clucking Free-Range Certified Organic Virgin (read: unclucked) Breast of Hen braised in our very own home made demi-glace." With a side of vegan tears.

  53. Firefly99

    side of vegan tears! I love it!

  54. Paco

    Reminds me of the Cluckin' Bell in San Andreas.

  55. aj5558

    Make mine a double.

  56. aj5558

    The Mother Clucker family meal.

  57. deanhatescoffee

    I'd order a steak – just to be different.

    I love how Josh is still green while in the gravy coma.

  58. deanhatescoffee

    Vegan tears – isn't that what they use in the gravy?

  59. deanhatescoffee

    Oh yeah, I had an idea for merchandise at Cluck-U: wallets.

    "I want you to go in that bag and find my wallet."
    "Which one is it?"
    "It's the one that says Bad Mother Clucker."

  60. hijinksensu5337

    It's on back order.

  61. hijinksensu5337

    You think he only has one?

  62. hijinksensu5337

    You and Josh could start a club.

  63. hijinksensu5337

    Well they ground all that up into a slurry to make the Cluck-Nuggets.

  64. hijinksensu5337

    to "Cluck off and die" is the medical term for what Josh is going through in the last panel.

  65. hijinksensu5337

    The lowest denomination is $300.

  66. hijinksensu5337

    Those are fucking (clucking) awesome, arent they?

  67. hijinksensu5337

    perfect.

  68. hijinksensu5337

    You win.

  69. hijinksensu5337

    Not since last Thanksgravy.

  70. hijinksensu5337

    The $2 Tuesday meal is called "Are you Clucking Kidding me?!"

  71. hijinksensu5337

    Maybe we can add that in post.

  72. diel

    Gravy related goodness, http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=1001a20...

  73. doug5364

    I've never been convinced by that 10% figure. Seems pretty low to me…

  74. hijinksensu5337

    yes. very wrong.

  75. hijinksensu5337

    Honey bunny?

  76. hijinksensu5337

    hahahahahahahahahah!

  77. hijinksensu5337

    They can dabble in asian cuisine with the "Cock of the Wok" Combo.

  78. hijinksensu5337

    Welcome back, you miserable butt clucker.

  79. hijinksensu5337

    Im so confused.

  80. hijinksensu5337

    I love that planning comment jokes can cause anxiety. I hope I get a bill from somebody's shrink.

  81. hijinksensu5337

    "chol-extra-ol" is above and beyond.

  82. hijinksensu5337

    yeah I dare you to go there and ask for a salad. They'll deep fry you in clucking lard….. clard.

  83. hijinksensu5337

    i could take it or leave it. I wasnt bored but I wasnt excited. Lou Ferigno was the voice of the HULK (heavily processed though it was).

  84. hijinksensu5337

    Ive decided that you are indepentently wealthy and you spend 8 hours a day coming up with perfect HE comments.

  85. hijinksensu5337

    Thats so fucking terrifying.

  86. doug5364

    I have made Joel lol.

    Success!

  87. doug5364

    Check the link. My new words are for the old Hulk cartoon theme song.

  88. aj5558

    Yeah, I heard that it was closer to 1 in 8, so about 12.5%.

  89. iptydafu8334

    I'm a greeting-card writer… from the future!

  90. crandamaniac

    Strangely enough (not sure if this inspired the comic or not) But there really is a place around here (DC Metro area) called Cluck-U Chicken. They make some of the best wings around (Even some that are so spicy they make you sign a waiver before they let you have them)

    http://www.cluckuchicken.com/

  91. hijinksensu5337

    damnit. I hadnt heard of that. Now I KNOW im not original.

  92. Erika

    The sad thing is..that in NJ there is actually a Cluck-U in Hoboken….

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