COMIC & BLOG
iTUNES FEED
EMAIL JOEL
May 19th, 2008
Yo, Homes, Smell Ya’ Later
No, I didn’t concoct this ridiculous sitcom-pitch scenario. Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith is opening a school (like for children) that will have curriculum based on the teachings of Scientology.
Here’s hoping for history textbooks with spaceships, “Carlton Dance” aerobics in gym class, graduation commencement by Tom Cruise in a (historically accurate) Xenu mask and, most of all, Dean Jazzy Jeff.
If it’s not too late to enroll, I’m sending my daughter there to be brainwashed… educated in the ways of our savior, L. Ron Hubbard.
I guess this is the first appearance of the HE-Minis, or HE-Kids or Lil’s HE’s or whatever. I almost gave Eli the beard even though he’s supposed to be 8. I don’t think his actually came in until he was 11.
Tags: celebrities, scientology, tom cruise, will smith
Related posts
May 21st, 2008 at 4:26 pm
[...] Re: Tracklist: Will Smith Scientology School News Articles funny…. HijiNKS Ensue: Geek Webcomic – Updates Monday, Wednesday, Friday Archive Yo, Homes, Smell Ya’ … [...]
November 26th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Mini Fancies….
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
At his level of stardom, i doubt he has to write many checks. I bet he IS cashing a few though. Im sure thats about as complicated as it gets.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Christianity = Old and Busted.
Scientology = New Hotness.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I think he dated a girl in highschool but he'd have to tell you about that. The needle in the comic is just a few seconds from breaking off in the red, though.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Problem is, they never actually say anything overtly one or the other. -Like John Travolta and that wife of his going on Entertainment Tonight promoting their big campaign to stop all of the "over-diagnosing" of kids as having ADHD or ADD, and being treated with drugs for it. There's no subtext there at all.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Scientology School… sounds crazy enough to be spawned from a celebrity… though I am rethinking Will Smith's value to human society… Lil Josh, Lil Eli, and Lil Joel are awesome! Loved all the shoutouts to The Fresh Prince, and Tom Cruise as the guidance counselor… Muy exellente
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
My LOLing at this in my living room caused a +1 in readers.
On a related note, I created a fake cult for a final. I want to build it up to the point where I can challenge the Scientology center in Richmond to a dance-off. http://xygog.blogspot.com
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
There is NOTHING I enjoy more than poking fun at Scientologists. Except possibly singing the Fresh Prince theme song at the top of my lungs. Fantastic comic today!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
You may be thinking of "Fair Game". CoS members are also allowed to kill anyone who is declared a "suppressive person" or "SP"–basically anyone officially blacklisted by the Church for challenging their brand of crazy.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Is that phrase 'bullshit'?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
"Religion" created by mediocre (at best) sci-fi writer = insane.
Believing in religion created by… = fucking insane.
Larry Niven trashed LRon in "Inferno."
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Glad to oblige. Jacket wouldn't have anything to do with Eli's cultural heritage, would it??
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I dig the HE minis. Nice job Joel.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The The HE-kids are fraktastic! i can't wait till they find themselves looking for pirate gold, but who's gonna be sloth?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I hope the HE minis don't go the way of the baby looney tunes…
Anyway, it seems senor Smith has pledged allegiance to the xenu despite what he said on the I Am Legend extras…
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Why'z Josh gott'a look all sad 'bout being a homo-gay?! And do scientologists not believe in homosexuality? -I thought L. Ron Hubbard was a gay pedophile on that boat he was riding around on all over the place? And since when can you be Black and a Scientologist? It was my understanding that scientologists thought that being black was caused by the thetans of the ones closest to the volcano when the hydrogen bombs detonated? -So that they're too heavily thetan-ized to be cured?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
And here I thought that Will Smith was too smart to get sucked into that cult. This is depressing.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
*bah* I r dum. I totally missed that it was tHE KIDS. Aren't you all different ages, though? I thought Eli was an old fucker of 31, like me.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I have to admit, a gym class with Carlton dance is intriguing. Btw, I also loved the anthem, it seems oddly familiar though
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Love Li'l Eli's jacket and Li'l Josh's expression in the last panel. Mocking the L-Ron-ish is just icing on the cake.
Where do they get the women for the sham marriages anyway? From a "Girls with low self esteem" shoot?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
they wield a frightening power over the rich and famous
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
He's sad at the proposition of a sham wedding to a hollywood starlet. And, as far as I know, Scientology frowns on the gay.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I wouldnt be at all surprised if they richest of them were in on the scam. Either CoS pays them promote the cult or promises to boost their career.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
26, 25, and 31 I believe. But some how they were all 8 at the same time.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Well, the specifically teach you to lie to all non scientologists, so it doesnt surprise me.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Present day Josh will be Sloth.
HEYYYYYY YOUUUUUU GUYYYYSSSS!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Now I don't feel so bad for not recognizing the characters right away. Never underestimate the power of facial hair.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
It most certainly IS unusual.
I loved this comic, first of all cause it's cute as all hell. But also, I just had the coat pointed out to me.
You'd think Will Smith is self/career-aware enough that he can sense that the SciLons have a bad rep for a reason. What sort of black voodoo did the CoS pull?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Funny comic. Dang, I had read that he flirted with Scientology but decided to stay Christian or whatever. I guess nobody gets out alive.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I believe that's the big draw for celebrities. Apparently, Scientology can "cure" you of your homo-tendencies. Makes sense, since Tom Cruise has been plagued by gay rumors for years.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Don't worry, I totally missed it too. It wasn't until I was reading the accompanying blurb that I saw it.
Hehe… that being said, Mini-Joel reminds me sort of a Mini-Gabe from Penny Arcade.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Man, I always respected him as a person and an actor (though Wild Wild West and MIB II did shake that briefly), but if Will Smith's becoming a Scientologist, I think I may have to re-evaluate my opinion of him.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
It's a pyramid scam – of course the richest are getting some reciprocal revenue from their investment, just by being famous and getting more bat-shit crazy people to sign up.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I'm kinda in the same boat. Will Smith, like Tom Cruise, is a great talent (IMO). I'll just try to avoid anything he says religiously or philosophically.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
A school based around Scientology…?
That isn't jiggy…. That isn't jiggy at all.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
It was Jada who's been working on wearing down his resistance. She got converted by Tom Cruise himself, the bastard.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I notice Josh only scores around a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Does that mean there were some heterosexual incidents in his past? That's ok, everyone goes through an experimental phase.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I agree. Tom Cruise is a pretty good actor, but lately that's been undermined by the fact that he seems to be a complete culty nutjob.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Precocious Little Scamps
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
One of the basic philosophies of scientology is that non Scientologists arent worthy of honesty and you should lie to and manipulate them in order to further the needs of scientology. There is a specific phrase for this tactic which eludes me now. Its the same idea as lying to a child because they're too dumb to know any better.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I believe they view it as a mental illness and ALL mental illness can be cured with Scientology Tech.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I read an email one from the Wife from "King of Queens" to all the mini SciLons that were beneath her. It was FUCKING INSANE! it was 4 pages of rambling nonsense with no real message or purpose. Reminds me of brainwashing techniques.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
It's an ancient hymn.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
One of his objectives as part of "Project Celebrity" (look it up, I swear) is to convert as many high profile celebs as possible. Its a very good tactic. People naturally look up to and try to emulate celebrities.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
That's because they make it ok to be rich and famous. (You _deserve_ to be rich.) If your money and fame (or your own sense of self) don't give you the validation you yearn for, the SciLons are happy to provide…
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Its actually from a "B-List Actresses with Little chancef or working Again" shoot.
I hoped someone would notice the jacket.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
They specifically teach you to lie? Is that because anyone who believes in that crap should be ashamed of themselves? Hmm…
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
actually, i have to call bullshit on one thing. Eli should still have a full beard.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Boosh.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Fair Game. Thats the one.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
More to do with Will Smith's inside out jacket from Bel-Air Prep.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Next week the Lil' HE's have to spend the night in a haunted mansion.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
That's how I do viral marketing. You laugh and it spreads to other like a virus…. slowly killing them.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
If you want to try something fun, sing the theme song over the opening piano riff to "Clint Eastwood" by Gorillaz. It's in the same key and makes a pretty good mash up.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I would say that I would stop going to Will Smith movies because of this stupidity but that really doesn't mean much seeing as I wasn't going to them anyways.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I dont know whether to Facepalm or fall over laughing
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I missed it too. Now I want to see 11 year old Eli with a beard
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Creating a massive tax shelter that's also a equally massive pyramid scam that's got all kinds of legal protection from the government, criticism, or censorship = fucking brilliant and evil in equal parts.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I just saw a "where are they now" on Carlton. I totes didn't know he was mini Michael Jackson on a commercial. Who knew Carlton could actually dance super crazy fun good?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Tom Cruise is very good at playing Tom Cruise, but I think the character is getting a little frayed at the edges.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Apparently I killed twitter… After reading one of your posts from the previous comic about getting updates on twitter when someone replies to a comment I figured I'd bite the bullet and at least try the whole twitter thing (I'd been morally opposed to it because it seemed like an incredibly self obsessed thing to me. I naturally hate talking about myself, and that seemed to be its primary purpose). Anyway, I read up on it, saw a bunch of articles talking about how it's useful for this and that so I downloaded a client and went to the site to sign up for an account. Well, after waiting for about 5 minutes twitter.com finally timed out. Checked back a little later, got it to load, and then it barfed trying to create my account. Color me impressed. Finally got an account created and now my client can't log in, and when I went to check your twitter page I get a little graphic telling me more or less that twitter is dead at the moment. Yes, clearly the social has arrived.
Is this sort of thing normal, or did I just pick a really bad time to try out twitter?
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Sounds Scooby-Doo ish!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
and on a completely unrelated note, that's an awesome nick. It reminds me of smarmosaur which was I believe coined over on QuestionableContent but I could be wrong (it's the first place I've ever seen it).
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
PPPPPIRATE GHOST!!!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
The guy in the 2nd panel is wearing his blazer inside out! What detal!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I must find an mp3 of this on the net.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Twitter has been down alot lately for "fixings"
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
ruh roh, rirates!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Read on someplace (think it was the wikipedia article) that it's written using rails so it doesn't surprise me it's having problems. Rails is notorious for having memory leaks and in general being entirely unsuitable for any decent sized production system.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
O – Tay!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
You have to give them credit for perpetuating such an amazing scam.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
He was on Silver Spoons too.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Zoinks!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Dont know if anyone has actually done it. Me and a friend used to just play it live.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Twitter is down about a 3rd of the time. That's part of the allure. it's mysterious.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Yes! You caught it. Now I know I didnt do all that for nothing.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
don't forget the instructional breakdancing book from the 80's. i remember wanting that so bad, it even came with a big fold-out mat! altho i'm told cardboard worked just as well…
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
well now you know what your next internet gift has to be.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
oh goddammit i just read the post
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
<don adams>Missed it by _that_ much!</don adams>
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I saw one where he told the interviewer, "if you are sick… I can do things to heal you… without medicine…"
Things. He can "do things." He wouldnt say what they were, but they were certainly better than science.
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Seriously? Dont joke around about stuff like this. Is there evidence of its existence on the internet? Get our best people on this right away!
February 5th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Little Rascles